Why are people so unreliable?

[alarimer]

I play on a women's soccer team. At the beginning of the season we had about 15-16 people. 11 is the usual number on the field so it is nice to have subs. The league rule is that the team has to have at least 7 to start the game or you forfeit. Well, with each passing week, fewer and fewer show up. We had 8 today. That is quite demoralizing. Not to mention exhausting. Why do people sign up for things and then not show up? This is exactly why I stopped playing a couple of years ago. What the hell is wrong with people? If I can't come because of work or whatever, I tell someone so at least they know. This is why I am not a joiner, because other people are so unreliable. And it's not just our team, either; it is universal.

[SmokingJacket]

1. Because they can get away with it.

People are extremely non-confrontational these days and hardly ever call people on their rudeness. Also, in a lot of situations, the people in a group never see each other except in that group, so they don't have to feel bad by running into people later.

It's all about the disintegration of social networks!

[alarimer]

2. I guess so

no one really complains to them.

[SPKrazy]

3. Well, I think that

generally people just suck!

seriously the main prob is that people tend towards self centeredness
but i don't know why people don't at least tell you they aren't coming. maybe it is easier to just not show up for them

not nice though



and is your team any good?


:hi:

soccer rocks!

[alarimer]

4. well, we would be a lot better if we had more than 8 people playing

The other team had 10 so we were at a distinct disadvantage.

[Omphaloskepsis]

5. Well, do you really want people on your team that don't want to be there?

Can you try to find people that want to be there to replace them?

[SPKrazy]

11. that sucks and btw!

i think soccer players rock, and women soccer players rock and are hot :P


yeah you were having no subs and too few on the field, but geez, what is the danged deal?

:shrug:

:hi:

[crispini]

6. I hear ya, but I try to be sympathetic.

People get busy and shit happens. Rather than bemoaning the inevitable... just try to find more players, perhaps?

[alarimer]

7. But it happens every year and it happens on every team

No one ever calls or emails to say they won't be there or, worse, say they will be there and then not show up.

People just don't care who they inconvenience these days. I have seen it everywhere- not just in soccer. I have been stood up and then the person calls me to apologize: "something came up" or "I forgot". I tell them never to call me again. Or, there's supposed to be a meeting at 9 am; but they don't roll in until after 10.

It's all about "me" these days: people in general are becoming more and more self-centered assholes.

[alarimer]

8. delete

dupe

[alarimer]

9. dupe

[alarimer]

10. Dupe

[skygazer]

12. People aren't very good about commitments in general

How many people do you know who have a gym membership but never go? I've done that myself. I join with good intentions of participating but then realize that other commitments get in the way. Or I just don't feel like it.

When people decide they're not going to show, they don't call because they have no valid excuse and don't want to feel more guilty than they may already. It's just the way people are - avoid confrontation or uncomfortable situations.

And if this is a continuous problem, maybe there's a leadership issue. I've found that if someone is making my class or group or commitment interesting and stimulating, I'm a lot more likely to be there. Not only that but maybe someone needs to call these women on their no-shows. Just a friendly call - "Hi. You weren't at the game today and I thought I'd call to make sure you're okay." And to point out how the team depends on them to be there.

People don't operate well in a vacuum. They need to be led.

[alarimer]

15. That's probably true

usually we have someone who emails everyone a reminder but not this week. Still they fail to show, reminder or not.

[Generic Brad]

13. Are you counting on us to give you an answer?

Come on. We're unreliable.

[alarimer]

14. No.

I already knew that :p

Just speculating as to why (some or many) people are unreliable these days.

[MadMaddie]

16. I have played on Co-Ed and all women soccer teams....

And you are right....certain people are unreliable. I am playing Co-ed now and am fortunate that everyone lets others know when they are not going to be there....I just get the mind set that I am going to be very tired....especially if we only have two subs...

To play outdoor with 7 or 8 people is torture....there is only so much you can do. I would suggest finding a more stable team and see if they need additional players they seem to be more reliable.

Good Luck this season....!

[Kat45]

17. I played intramural women's basketball in college

Most of us weren't very atheletic; most were under 5'3"; we sucked. But we won the league title because we were the only team that showed up every week! Each time, not enough people showed up to field an opposing team; so they forfeited. We had an undefeated season without playing one game!