OK all you 'Miss Manners' - Graduation invitation

[trof]

We just got a college graduation announcement from the daughter of a couple we barely know. They happen to live in our neighborhood about 5 blocks away and that's the extent of our relationship.
And we sure as hell don't know the daughter.

It's trolling for presents and I think it's incredibly tacky and ill mannered.
:grr:

I'm going to ignore it.

What do all our Miss Manners think?

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Send a card.

Not a gift. Maybe they'll get the hint.

Those things are terribly tacky, IMHO.

[Shakespeare]

16. This is the best suggestion.

You appear gracious in acknowledging the accomplishment, but under no circumstances should you feel obligated to send a gift.

[Shell Beau]

2. I agree. I think if you are basically asking for a gift, you should

know the people pretty well!

[BluePatriot]

3. *shrug*

Kid probably ordered way too many expensive invitations and parents made her think of everyone on the list to send them to, LOL.

I remember getting weird unsolicited graduation stuff from my parents' financial adviser of all people. The book on wealth generation went in the garbage...

Anyway, just drop her a congrats card or something with no $$$. It's polite to acknowledge an acquaintance that way IMHO.

[trof]

5. Nah. I don't even like her paernts.

He's a local fundy judge who constantly quotes the bible in his courtroom. She's just totally clueless.
I won't even buy a stamp.

[BluePatriot]

10. Oooo, send a subversive card then

That could get fun :evilgrin:

[VenusRising]

4. Most people don't invite anyone other than

close family and friends to graduation, especially college. If you have no relationship with their daughter, i.e. baby-sitter, dog-walker, etc., then forget it if you don't want to go.

If you really want to be Miss Manners about it, then take a graduation card over and put it on their front door.

[trof]

6. Nope, I think I wanna be RUDE.

This really pisses me off.
I know they sat down and made a list of every single person they've ever known.
GET THE GOODIES
Why not just copy the damn phone book?
argh

[VenusRising]

7. I would go with rude, too.

Especially after reading he's a fundie judge quoting scripture in the courtroom. Niiiiiice. :eyes:

Rock on!! :headbang:

[AllegroRondo]

8. Pleasant Reader

One should never feel obligated to send a present for any occasion. Send only what you feel comfortable with. If that may only be a congratulatory card, so be it.

[trof]

9. Thank you, mam. A reasonable answer.

;-)

[liontamer]

11. Just say congratulations

Grad invites make you order in ridiculous amounts so she probably had like 50 extra. She doesn't really expect a gift.

[JVS]

12. send a card and $1

[salin]

18. That is probably more insulting than not responding at all.

Given that the greivance is with the parent(s), and not the barely known kid - seems that ignoring it (that won't mean a darn thing to the kid, since s/he isn't familiar with the family trof - sends the message to the parent(s) without directly insulting the kid.

[wildhorses]

13. make a donation in her name to your favorite charity

maybe your favorite charity is YOU:shrug:

or amnesty international or the aclu or whomsoever you choose;)

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

14. I think..

It's not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be. I personally sent out cards to my neighbors when I graduated highschool because they had/have kids in my school, we see them around, and don't harbor any ill-will toward them. Our dogs have escaped a couple times and they always tell us when they're roaming around. If we're not home they'll keep an eye on things. It's nice to be cordial to your neighbors, include them if they want to be included. My neighbors are nice people and we wanted to invite them because it is a nice gesture! It says thanks, hey, we thought about you and you aren't obligated to anything, but come enjoy some BBQ and food. No harm in it, I say. If you weren't invited to a shindig or were and wouldn't dream of showing up, then just send a little congratulatory card. Doesn't have to have anything in it.

[Kali]

15. its spring announcement time!

I had an etiquette question too.

I say in your case just send a card, no goodies.

[Gormy Cuss]

17. Miss Manners is in the house.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband has a very large extended family (both his mother and father have 12 brothers and sisters, who have myriad children and grandchildren of their own). They all live in another part of the country.

Several times a year, we receive announcements in the mail for graduations, births, weddings, etc. Most of the time I don't have any idea who the person is, and my husband often seems to be only slightly less perplexed: "I think that may be my Uncle Steve's granddaughter."

I don't usually feel obligated to send a gift, but should I send a note of congratulations? Because we know little about the people, I would only be able to write, "Congratulations, good luck, etc." However, if it is rude for me to let the announcement go by without a reply, I'll cheerfully get out the pen and paper.

GENTLE READER: Please do. It won't take you all that long to write simply, "We appreciate your letting us know and we wish you all the best." Even many times over.

That's how she says to handle it should you choose to take the high road, that is.