Today in history 4-26

[johnnie]

2003 - David Lee Roth apprehends and detains a knife-wielding man he discovers trespassing on his Southern California estate. The former Van Halen frontman keeps the felon at bay with a shotgun.

Almost stolen from Roth's house were 10 hairpieces, 12 cucumbers wrapped in aluminum foil, 25 pairs of spandex leggings and an application for "The Surreal Life".

Below, the would-be robber:






1994 - In court, Jefferson Starship trooper Grace Slick pleads guilty to threatening police with a shotgun. In her defense, Slick says she was suffering stress after her Mill Valley, Calif., house had burned down last fall.

Apparently, the fire had ignited the years of resin build up in Slick's home; turning her home into "an awesome fatty". The fumes had gotten most of Mill Valley's residents stoned and Slick was charged with "distribution of a controlled substance".





1982 - While on his way to rehearse with the Clash in their West London studio, Joe Strummer has a change of heart. Instead, he boards a train to France and disappears, leaving the Clash to cancel an upcoming tour. Strummer doesn't reappear until May 18, claiming he was suffering from exhaustion and suddenly doubted his punk purpose.

To prove their "punk purpose" The Clash released "Combat Rock" after Joe found his house. I'm just sayin'...






1969 - During the bands second North American tour Led Zeppelin played the second of two nights at The Winterland Ballroom, San Francisco in California.

It is also on these two nights that Robert Plant squealed a high-pitched "baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby" a record-breaking 698 times. Although some say that some of those squeals could have just been feedback.








1982 - While standing next to his car, Rod Stewart was mugged by a gunman along Hollywood's Sunset Boulevard.


I heard that Rod was so upset by this that he sought comfort in the "arms" of a whole soccer team, but needed to have his stomach pumped afterward. Seriously, I know a guy who's cousin's next door neighbor had a daughter who's friend worked at the hospital.








1995 - Courtney Love reportedly turned down an offer of $1m from Playboy to pose nude for the magazine.


Talk about having your stomach pumped. Now THIS would have actually been the issue where men really *did* buy Playboy for the articles.






1983 - Happy Birthday to Jessica Lynch

According to the Government released biography on Jessica:

"...the young fetus single-handedly fought off attacks of parasites and infection while in her mother's womb. On April 26th, 1983, Jessica snapped off one of her mother's ribs and used it to cut through the womb and stomach lining, performing her own inside cesarean. Jessica then swung down off the table using her umbilical cord, bit the cord off and ran from the hospital room, arms in the air, loudly chanting "U.S.A...U.S.A...U.S.A". She truly is..... An American Hero."






2002 - In Erfurt, Germany, an expelled student killed 17 people at his former school. The student then killed himself.


Pffffft. We're number one, we're number one, we're number one! USA! USA! USA!

(Sorry, this was more of a social statement than an attempt at a joke).





1975 - BJ Thomas went to No.1 on the US singles chart with '(Hey Won't You Play), Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song'.

Ah yeah BJ, somebody done you wrong I think. Did your parents really name you Blow Job Thomas?





1977 - The disco haven, Studio 54, was opened in an abandoned opera house in New York by Steve Rubell and Ian Schrager. It became the center of the jet-set disco society, attracting the likes of Andy Warhol, Bianca Jagger and Liz Taylor.

Now I'm not one to spread gossip, but I have heard that there may have been some ummm.... cocaine used at Studio 54. You didn't hear this from me.






1990 - New Kids On The Block's Danny Wood injured his ankle while on stage in Manchester when he tripped over a toy animal thrown on stage by a fan, he was forced to fly back to the States for treatment

God, I remember this well. I was up for two straight nights praying that Danny would be okay. I never cried so much in my life. To my relief (and I'm sure yours too) Danny made a 100% recovery and continued to rock his ass off for years to come.

Below, Danny looking fly:






1865 - John Wilkes Booth, the assassin of President Abraham Lincoln, was surrounded and killed by federal troops near Bowling Green, Va.

Lincoln was assassinated on April 14th, but Booth wasn't caught until 12 days later due to the fact that the Republican party was certain that another man had shot the Republican President. Needless to say, Bill Clinton wouldn't be born for another 81 years.

[johnnie]

1. Kick

This was yesterday's, but I thought I would kick it anyway. Sorry for the bad link to that New Kids guy. :shrug:

[dolo amber]

2. By far the funniest thing I've read in the Lounge all day

:patriot:

I'm glad you did this...I've missed it. :D