Shittiest thing after the death of a loved one?

[Truthiness Inspector]

What's the worst thing a family member or friend of the family has done to take your loss and then drive the knife in further?

You know, the ones who didn't give a shit about the deceased while he/she was still alive, but really gave it their ALL to screw with the survivors of the loved one who actually cared about that person.

[QMPMom]

1. Oh, you mean my sister-in-law.

Who, at the funeral luncheon, wanted to go immediately over to her mother's apartment and start clearing the place out and dividing things up. I said no (I had the keys) and she, her husband and kids tried to argue with me.

I wasn't close to my MIL at all, but come on! The body was barely cold and she wanted to get her paws on "the stuff". My DH was not in the mental or physical condition (he was one week post-op) to deal with clearing his mother's apartment on the afternoon of her funeral.

[skygazer]

2. The vultures, most definitely

The ones who have to claw through every possession of the deceased that's not nailed down or slammed shut, fighting over them and insisting, "Mother would have wanted ME to have that!"

My mother died when I was 14. At the time, I didn't want her clothes, jewelry, knick-knacks - I wanted my mother. Consequently, I ended up with nothing that was special to her, nothing to remember her by. And I will always remember how appalled I was at the behavior of relatives who couldn't seem to wait to divvy up her (pathetic) belongings. :grr:

[AllegroRondo]

5. a funeral brings out long lost relatives, looking for money

its amazing. relatives you havent seen in decades suddenly come forward, looking for cash and items they feel they "deserve".

[bleedingheart]

9. it is sad but there are more vultures than doves...

however just to give you some hope...

My father died when I was 10.

About 6 years ago, a cousin of mine, sent a stack of photos to my mother that included a lot of pictures of my father from his youth. She did this out of the blue...I don't know her well because she is significantly older than me and was a grown woman with children of her own by the time I came along...but her actions made me feel that there is hope that people can rise above vulture-dom

[commander bunnypants]

3. step dad is not even gone yet. close

and his kids are already acting like vultures


CB

[raccoon]

4. Add to that, there's nothing like a WILL to bring out the nastiness in people.

:hug: to you, Truthiness.

[CBHagman]

6. Attempting to ban members of the family from the funeral.

:grr:

I am so going to haunt people if they pull that sort of crap after I kick the bucket.

[bleedingheart]

7. My favorite was my poor dead aunt lying in her casket while

her sisters quibbled over her jewelry...

oh that was a moment to just tuck away...

[malta blue]

8. My aunt intercepted the burial plot paperwork

which was mailed to us after my grandmother's death and would not release them to us (since she was going to skip the burial) until she felt she had her share of the money (like there was any money to begin with).

My grandmother was to be buried in the Dominican Republic, and down there, the cemetary will no accept copies of plot ownership docs, they want the originals. Grandma's sister died 8 days before her, so her sister's kids had the paperwork. When they returned from the DR, they fedexed the paperwork, but the greedy bitch intercepted it.

We flew down there with the copies, and managed to convince them that it was legal and because her sis had died so recently, they accepted that the sister's kids had the papers.

Once we got all that settled, my crazy aunt called anyone and everyone in the goverment who would listen to her and told them we were not related to the deceased, and the goverment prevented the burial for 2 days (and since refrigeration is not like in the US - the inevitable in tropical heat was starting to take place).

We would start out from the funeral home to the cemetary, get there, unload and then it would be halted by some MP with orders from so and so that we were not able to bury her without confirmation of her identity and our relationship to her.

Finally, she was buried by order of the Department of Sanitation.

My aunt also called my husband during this time and told him I was cheating on him. She stole my grandmother's jewelry and installed her son into my grandmother's apartment so that when we returned from the funeral, we were unable to enter and collect anything to remember her by.

I have never spoken to her since. I hear she is dying.

[myrna minx]

10. Good GAWD! That, to me is the personification of evil.

I;m so sorry you and your family had to endure that.

[malta blue]

12. It was fierce....

My mom fainted in the funeral home...it was just one huge drama!

[youthere]

11. When my stepdad died three years ago,

after an extended cancer battle, it took all of 6 hours before the first of his four children to arrive and start "claiming" things in the house. The others came soon after. The biggest blowup was when his oldest son (I'll just call him asshole) found out that my stepdad had a small life insurance policy and my mother was named beneficiary (like, what else would you expect? They'd been married 19 years!) Anyway, asshole has a meltdown and the other kids join in and threaten to sue my mother to get "what they were entitled to". Keep in mind that not one of them visited him that last three years of his life while he was bed ridden and needing round the clock care for even the most basic needs (of which my mother provided 99% of). My stepdad's two daughters hadn't talked to their father (even a phone call) for two years, and the only one that bothered to keep any contact was the youngest son who called about every three weeks. My stepdad was an alcoholic when he was married to their mother and they never forgave him for it, even though he quit drinking before he met my mother. But they decided when he passed away that it was some personal payday for them.

[Chan790]

13. My uncle threatened to call the police...

if anybody from my immediate family showed-up at my grandfather's funeral because my uncle (now...in his mind only) was the patriarch of the family and disowned us.

[xchrom]

14. when my partner died -- his executor and friends of his

descended like demons from hell for certain things of his -- that he and i had gathered through the years.

we had thought this friend would be a good executor for miscellaneous stuff -- we were very, very wrong.

people are unbelievably greedy and petty.

[MountainLaurel]

15. Fraudsters

My great-aunt continued to cash the dividend checks from some small stocks my great-grandfather had owned for years after his death. The other living sibling (my grandmother's BIL) only found out about it when the company called my grandma looking for my long deceased great-grandfather.