Any of yall go to your twenty year high school reunion?

[unsavedtrash]

Mine is this fall and now all of these people that I haven't seen since leaving school are chatting me up about seeing our old friends. Four people (from high school)that I have seen recently looked shocked at seeing me and said things like, "wow, I thought you would be dead by now." I was a very "rough and tumble" druggie in my time. My response has been, "no, but I am getting my masters in Library Science." This response generally makes their faces melt. Do I really want to see these people? blah, maybe some of them.
Someone share your experiences with me. pretty please.

[trof]

1. Yeah. Rent a limo and a high class hooker.

No...wait.
That's been done.
;-)

[unsavedtrash]

7. with two women?

I think my SO might come but maybe not.

[KG]

2. i was broke and living with my mom. as if.

:hi:

[unsavedtrash]

8. That is why I didn't go to my others.

broke as all hell with no possibilities.
:hi:

[flamingyouth]

3. I went to mine.

It wasn't that bad. Mostly went out of curiosity. We went with a group of friends and hung out together. The nice people were still nice and the jerks were still jerks - it was kind of funny. It was just last summer. We made an evening out of it by getting together with our group for drinks beforehand. I doubt any of us will go back to any more, though.

[unsavedtrash]

11. I'm not even sure I would recognize most of those folks.

But finding my old drinking buddies would be a good time.

[MonkeyFunk]

4. Yes

I went to my 20th - the only one I went to. It was great.

The best part was seeing the jocks and cheerleaders looking like the worn-out old idiots and the shy, awkward girls who had blossomed and were beautiful and successful.

I wish every high school kid could see 20 years into the future - things would be very different.

[unsavedtrash]

12. I thought it might be something like that.

Many of the kids in college prep classes in high school dropped out of college or didn't make the grades to get in. When I tried to get the paperwork to take the college entrance exam my school council refused to give the application and said my life wold never amount to anything. Hope that bitch is there.

[InternalDialogue]

5. I went to mine. Surprisingly rewarding.

Ninety percent of the people were simply as I expected they'd be 20 years after high school -- they had followed a pretty linear path.

But I sat down at a table with four classmates with whom I spent almost no time at all in high school. I knew two of them by name, but the other two, it was like I was meeting for the first time. Two of them had spouses, two of them were single and brought dates. We sat and talked for about 90 minutes.

That made the reunion worth attending, right there.

[unsavedtrash]

14. I would like to have that kind of an experience. n/t

[InternalDialogue]

23. Well, if you go this fall, make sure you tell us how it went.

I think there's a good chance you can make it a good experience if you're willing to be open. I have gone to all of my reunions (5, 10, 15, and 20), and the best ones where those when I didn't fall into the comfort zone of talking just with old friends and filling the same role I filled in high school. I think people responded well to the idea that we've changed and we can deal with each other as independent of our expectations.

[Radio_Lady]

51. You made a good point, but it didn't work out that way for us!

We were formally assigned to tables for one dinner. Two of the graduates were friends who had been blue collar workers their whole lives. Most of our graduating class probably didn't attend college, and I couldn't find any reason to interject my conversation. They talked just to each other for the whole dinner. Their wives were completely mute! (I didn't know anybody at that table except my husband!) Hubby tried to talk to a woman to his left, but the room was so noisy he didn't understand much of what she said. So for most of that dinner conversation, my husband and I discussed the event itself.

The next night was better. I sat with a mix of former friends and some guy who I had spurned during my high school days. I apologized to him for a nasty comment I made once; he said, "Forget about it. It happened a long time ago." He had remembered it all those years... Oh, callow youth!

[bigwillq]

6. I went to my 10th.

I am not at 20 yet! :)

[unsavedtrash]

15. I considered my 10th but thought I would wait until the big one

and now it is here, I might not attend.

[bigwillq]

19. Well I had a blast at mine

but I have always gotten along with most people (in and out of school) and I guess I would've been considered one of the "cool" kids back in HS. Plus, I am doing rather well in my career and all that stuff so my 10th was a good experience for me.


Going to a reunion is a personal decision. You will know if it's the right choice to go or not.

[Left Is Write]

9. Yes, I did. I enjoyed it.

By the 20-year reunion, most people are more settled, more comfortable with themselves, and less interested in the "conspicuous success" that seems more likely at 10-year reunions.

Yeah, there were a few for whom high school was their glory days, but I had a lot of fun talking to the ones who had grown up.

[unsavedtrash]

20. we were a class of 122 so everybody knew each other.

My big concern is seeing my two very best friends who after finding out I was gay really spoke to me again until a few years ago. Trust issues, oh hell yeah. Maybe everyone is past the petty shit by now.

[malta blue]

10. I went to my 10th and was conveniently unavailable

for my 20 this past summer. The 10th was enough to remind my why I hated it in the first place.

[unsavedtrash]

21. I'm sorry it was a bad experience.

high school was so long ago. I'm wondering if I should just let it go.

[malta blue]

24. I have let it go for the most part...

It was an all girls' school in New England - I was just very different from the average "preppy" from the 80's. My daughter wants to go to school there, and I like the school a lot more now that it is more diverse. I just didn't particularly want to be around the snooty ones any more.

[u4ic]

13. I didn't

I don't even know if there even was one - I'm across the country. I had no interest in going, anyway... :shrug:

[unsavedtrash]

17. mine is an odd curiosity to see what happened to them

But reconnecting with these folks, nah.

[Lady Effingbroke]

16. Didn't attend my 10th and won't be attending my 20th (next year).

I keep in touch with a few people from my graduating class; as for the rest, I have no desire for further contact with people who I was forced to associate with through an unfortunate accident of geography.

[unsavedtrash]

22. very well spoken.

But there is one woman I would love to find. After high school she was shipped off to an all female college because she was a bit "loose with the boys" in her parents minds. The last time I saw her she had a knockout girlfriend.

[Lady Effingbroke]

31. Thank you.

There are a (very) few people in my graduating class who I wonder about and hope are doing well in life, but it's not worth dealing with the rest to find out!

[av8rdave]

18. Never bothered...went to two different high schools, so never felt much connection

to either. I've never missed a college one though.

[unsavedtrash]

26. My SO went to a few different schools too. She does the college reunions though.

Did you go to UA too?

[av8rdave]

39. I didn't

I went to Air Force Academy long, long ago. My son loves it at UA.

[SarahB]

25. I went to my 10th.

It was boring as all heck. I've got another few (gasp- 3!) until my 20th. I highly doubt I'll go. I just don't care really. I work with someone on occasion who I went to high school with. She still knows what goes on with people from high school. Then again, she was the cheerleader co-captain. I was the "bad girl" of the chorus/drama geeks.

[medeak]

27. 20th much better than 10th

10th is all about impressing people...sort of like high school. 20th was
just being glad to see people. Just about everyone had been through some life crisis, divorce, loss of parents ect...and had grown up. Good in my experience and so different. Genuineness all around.

[unsavedtrash]

28. I have a friend like that too.

Her my space is network central for our year. Lots of people finding her and reconnecting. color me afraid.

[mentalsolstice]

29. I went to my 25th year reunion

And I ABSOLUTELY hated it! the same cliques!

[unsavedtrash]

30. arg, I thought twenty was the end.

damn. I'm sorry it was a bad experience.

[mentalsolstice]

34. Yep, I felt like I was 14/15 again!

I kept steering my spouse away from certain people, because they had a certain hungry look in their eyes. They were still feeding on the same old carcasses...

on edit:
And I was much more successful than most of them would have figured I would be (a J.D., two passed bar exams, etc.)...yet, unless you're obscenely successful, they still know your weak spots (particularly in front of a "stranger" spouse), and they know how to take you down.

My advice, be proud of who you are now, let your current friends support you...

[usaftmo]

32. Mine is next year...

and I won't attend. I couldn't stand being with those morans everyday for 4 years, so why bother with them now? If I did go, I'd secretly spike the drinks with a self-created powerful laxative. Remember the scene at the end of Van Wilder? Something like that :evilgrin:

[Lautremont]

33. Mine's next year, if someone gets it together to put one on.

I'll go. I just had the normal run of trauma, not too horrific compared to some. There are a few people I'd like to see, others I'd be interested to see. There are a couple of people to mourn and raise a glass to, also.

[Mz Pip]

35. "You're still alive?"

I actually had someone say that to me at my 20th.

40th is coming up and I am still alive.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[murielm99]

48. I went to my 40th recently.

I attended my 20th, and 35th as well.

All of them were fun. It is interesting to see how people have changed and grown. Most of the people were nice and very open. I didn't see anyone there who went just to impress people.

At my 20th, I ran into a couple of guys who turned out to be successful and very good looking. I had not expected it of them. One of them has his PhD, and the other is a successful lawyer. I remembered him vaguely as a little guy who said "hi" to me in the halls. I was always nice to him, but not much more. He and his wife have become my friends.

He is one of the people who stayed in touch with our foreign student from Brazil. The former foreign student is a pediatrician now, and in charge of a government agency that oversees children's health. My lawyer friend has become involved with saving the rain forests. My daughter, who speaks Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese, is accompanying them on a trip to Brazil this summer.

I guess we must have a good class. We invite the girls who got pregnant and dropped out, the kids who moved away before graduation, and any teacher who is still halfway alive. At our 40th, I ran into a guy who felt funny about being there, because he had dropped out, gotten his GED, and then spent some years in the navy. His wife is a teacher, and she is a hoot. I was so glad to see them, and they had a good time after all.

I have told this story before on this board:

I almost didn't attend my 40th. I have a thyroid condition that has made me gain 35 pounds. I am in the process of getting things under control, so I can lose the weight and be more healthy at the same time. Anyway, I decided not to go because I am fat. (Actually, I am a size 12 instead of a size 4, but I am self-conscious about it).

I got a call from one of the organizers, who insisted that I come to the reunion. She was not a close friend in high school, but we get along pretty well. I told her why I was not coming. She told me she was coming, and she had cancer. I started to cry, and so did she. I could not believe what a vain, aging fool I was being. I went to the reunion. I had a great time.

Don't go with a chip on your shoulder. You might be surprised at how well some of these people have aged, and how nice they have become over the years.

[HughBeaumont]

36. My 20th is this summer.

Eccch. I really REALLY don't want to pay $75 for this. I didn't exactly have a good time in HS at all (as some of my journal entries have let on) and I'm just worried if any liquored-up dickhead starts some I'm going to get carried off to the clink for assault.

There are some classmates who I literally cannot be in the same room with. Some of us cannot let go. I hold these people responsible for ruining what should have been a productive time in my life. You can't learn a damned thing when your being bullied and harassed almost on a daily basis, often for no good reason, and people who are supposed to help you turn away and follow The Secret method ("the reason you have problems is because of you, not them. Get over it"). Not a single person around me understands this at all.

[GalleryGod]

37. Of Course! To see My Two Ex-girlfriends :

One is a tournament bridge partner with Bill Gates and the other is married to Larry Fisher, the CEO of Time Warner. They're STILL competing after all these years!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

38. I went to my 20th and it was surprisingly pleasant.

I was a shy, unpopular geek in high school, so I was sorely tempted to skip the whole thing. But I got all dressed up and went, and it turned out to be The Revenge of the Nerds. The other geeky kids had grown up to be successful and attractive, and the jocks and cheerleaders I'd envied so much and who always ignored me were fat and boring. One ex-cheerleader who'd won a statewide beauty contest when we were seniors turned up in a slinky jumpsuit, but there was nothing slinky about her -- she looked like an overstuffed sausage (meow!). And the guys who were the big shot football stars who wouldn't give little old geeky me a second look (let alone ask me to the prom) were used car salesmen and such, overweight, balding and wearing brown suits. And the class pass-around, now looked like a tired old madam.

I loved it.

[Kerrytravelers]

40. Oh no. I am far, far, far too young for my 20th!

:evilgrin:



My 10th was two years ago!

[alarimer]

41. I went to mine this past October

It was surprisingly fun. I went out of curiosity but I was shocked by how many people actually remembered me. I tend to think of myself as invisible for some reason, like no one I have known will ever remember me years later. So it was interesting. The people who never talked to me in high school still didn't talk to me. But a lot of my friends were there, fortunately.

[Fountain79]

42. I'll go to mine....

in 11 years....

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

43. I went in 2000

I was runner-up in the "Most Changed Female" category. Jimmy H., who never paid me no never mind in high school, was fascinated by my nose ring and flirted shamelessly. One of my best buddies, Jeanne B., completely ignored me, which flabbergasted me. Some ladies from another school with whom I was good friends were fairly frosty and held me at arms' length. It was a strange experience. For my 30th in 2010 I will happily inform them of my present attorney status and accept their homage (ha ha).

[Silver Swan]

44. I missed my 20th.

I went to my tenth, thirtieth and fortieth.

At the fortieth we were all old and mostly retired, and a lot of them didn't remember me, even though I had been a class officer three out of four years.

Our class was rather small, so I convinced myself that they were all senile, and not that I was so insignificant that no one remembered me!

[misanthrope]

45. No way...

...I wanted to go to the state school for the fine arts and qualified for entry but my family couldn't afford it. We managed to find a loophole to get into the school district we did.

Instead I went to high school in one of the toniest suburbs in the state after growing up in an aging inner-city neighborhood. My classmates were snotty, cliquish kids from upper middle class backgrounds who had their whole lives laid out for them by their wealthy and influential parents.

I played sports but didn't seek out companionship in those cliques.

I qualified for advanced placement classes but shunned those because I didn't like the attendant social aspects.

I was involved in the arts but stayed away from those cats apart from school.

The scant friends I had were a motley lot of complete outsiders like myself, some from around there, some bused in.

My family moved out of town halfway through my senior year. I stayed to finish school so I wouldn't lose anything in a transfer and have to repeat the year. No one in this comfortable community would help me out or take me in except one buddy whose family was dirt poor. His father worked on a road crew and they hung on to property their ancestors owned since before the suburb sprang up around them.

I had a $200 car my grandparents saved up and bought me. I worked at a fast food joint part-time, my mother sent me a little money when she could. I ate grits every morning since they were cheap, hot and could stretch. The family I was with couldn't afford to feed me dinner every night so I would save money and go eat at a local buffet every other evening, stuffing in as many plates of food as I could since it would have to last me a couple of days.

After our evening graduation, I went home and packed, then left town in the morning without looking back.

I don't even know if they staged a ten-year reunion but when the twenty-year version rolled around I was surprised to get an invitation and an inquiry. The woman who did so was part of the accepted cliques and she asked me if I knew how to reach classmates they were having trouble contacting. I noticed the list of those unknowns were the standard non-popular kids and wallflowers so that one piece of info let me know how the reunion was shaping up.

I politely explained that I was involved with the organization of a three-day cultural festival in my new town and I couldn't attend.

While I was predisposed to the event, I just didn't even want to make the effort to see a bunch of folks who would likely still be using their bourgeois yardsticks to measure everyone. Over the years, I've filled a lot of roles, having been captain and president of collegiate and semi-pro football clubs, dabbled in graphic art, worked as a motion picture set designer, a congressional campaign aide, musician, cook/chef, radio announcer and journalist. But unless I was a lawyer or doctor or something that brought material comfort, they just wouldn't have been able to relate to me.

Somehow, I don't think I'll hear about any further reunions. So much the better.

[SeattleGirl]

46. Nope. Went to my 10th, and that was enough.

My 10th was okay; good to check in with some folks from high school. But after that, I really had no desire to go to another one.

[Hardrada]

47. I went to my 20th but missed my 40th and probably wont

go to my 45th because it is being run by people who never said anything to me in high school. And it was rather a small class too. The 20th was fun because some of my old friends had something to do with it and the emphasis was not on the country club.

[MikeH]

49. I went to my 20 year high school reunion

I went to my 20 year high school reunion in Illinois in 1988. It turned out to be a very positive experience for me.

I definitely had some problems in high school. For various reasons I tended to be picked on by those inclined to do so, and was not able to deal with people who did so in an effective manner. I was also socially very awkward, and missed out on having a social life and being able to enjoy the company of people my age.

I went to college in the same town in Illinois for two years before moving to San Diego, CA with my family. By moving to a completely different location I was able to get some distance from the problems I had in high school, and was able to be comfortable with and become friends with some new people.

On the other hand, I still had much unfinished business from high school, which still haunted me.

By going back to my 20 year high school reunion I had the chance to finish most of the unfinished business from my time in high school. I was able to interact in a relaxed and friendly manner with my classmates, in a way I was not able to do when I was in high school. I did not have any problems with anybody whom I had problems with in high school; in fact some of them were quite nice.

It was very interesting to see how my town, and my neighborhood, had grown and changed.

Actually the most important thing I did when I was back for my 20 year reunion was that I visited a girl, in the class year ahead of me, who had seemed to have a crush on me in high school, but whom I did not make any advances to and did not get to know because of my shyness and my problems and lack of self-esteem. The last time I saw her was a week before she graduated from high school, the year before I did.

I was able to have some people help to track her down, and I got her married name, her address and telephone number. She and her husband lived close to our town. I got in touch with her shortly before my reunion, and she and her husband were agreeable to having me visit them. I had a very pleasant evening with them; her husband was a friendly person. No sparks flew between me and the girl; she obviously loved her husband. By visiting her I was able to be at peace about missing out on getting to know her in high school, which greatly helped my self-esteem.

I have also gone to my 25 and 30 year high school reunions. They were also pleasant. Each time I saw a few new people I had not seen at previous reunions.

[Radio_Lady]

50. I went to my 50th H.S. anniversary in Orlando, Florida last October 2006.

While it was interesting, and there was a lot of excited talking and remembering, I was overwhelmed with emotion and mainly the sadness of people now deceased, as well as goals not achieved, pain endured, parents, children, spouses not fulfilling their lives.

We did a lot of laughing and some crying. It was a very short couple of days (Friday, Sat., Sunday). I did not attend on Sunday. There was also a conflict between some of the afternoon events and other things going on at our resort. We did not stay at the same hotel as the activities, but elected to use our timeshare which was about a 15 minute drive away. And I wish I had not decided to invite my family (my son, his wife, and their two kids) on the same weekend. That was really pretty dumb. For me, the 50th reunion was a very absorbing event and I had little left to share with the younger members of my family.

Also, it was extremely hot in Florida that weekend (in the mid to high 80s) and I was pretty fried physically after the three social events we attended.

Good night and good luck.