Child-free/Child-less people.....I'd like to know if you've ever regretted your decision?

[Evoman]

Has your life been happy without kids? How has your life compared to others without children...I'd like to see some opinions.

[qnr]

1. No. Yes. Who knows. Opinion: "I probably shouldn't have watched 'Idiocracy'" n/t

[Heidi]

2. No.

I'd like to know if you've ever regretted your decision?
No, I haven't.

Has your life been happy without kids?
My life isn't without kids. I have two goddaughters who live across the street from me and two nephews who live in the US, and have close relationships with all of them.

How has your life compared to others without children...
I don't compare my life to others' lives. :shrug:

[enigmatic]

3. nope

Not in the least. Next to marrying my wife, it's the best decsion I've ever made.

[REP]

4. Absolutely No Regrets About Being Childfree

I've known since I was 9 that I did not want to have children. I'm 42 now, and twice sterilized. My only regret is that I couldn't find a surgeon to sterilize me sooner than I was. I am extremely happy without children, as is my husband. We can't imagine our lives any other way - well, we can, and we're so glad it's just in our imaginations.

[swag]

5. No. No regrets.

"A life with no child would be a life perfecting hedonism," a forty-something infertile woman said, now the proud owner of pricey twins.

- Joy Williams, The Case Against Babies.

[MountainLaurel]

39. Pricey twins?

As opposed to the two-for-one special at the Stop -n- Shop?

:evilgrin:

[Evoman]

6. So far 5 for 5 no regrets....thank you for your responses.

I wonder if people with kids feel regrets at all. I like kids enough, but sometimes I imagine all the freedom I would have to travel and enjoy myself without the burden.

[mark414]

9. my parents always like to joke about how much money they'd have

if it wasn't for me and my 3 siblings - especially when one of us does (or rather did, when we were still at home) something to give them a headache

it's a joke, of course, and i love them and they love me, but there is obviously a bit of truth to it.

me personally, i'm still young (22), so my desire could change, but for me - no kids, not now, not ever.

[Arkansas Granny]

27. I have kids, all grown now, and I have no regrets. I'm sure that my

life would have been different if I'd chosen not to have children, but any number of decisions I've made have affected my life and lifestyle as much as having children did.

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. None whatsoever

I was never convinced I'd be good enough at the dad thing.

Somewhat serendipitously, I always wound up with women who either didn't want kids, didn't want any more kids or couldn't produce kids.

[Withywindle]

8. Nope.

I do know that some women my age (late 30s) who've never had kids due to circumstance feel an ache and a longing. I believe them that this feeling is intense, but I've never experienced it. I'm completely emotionally neutral at the sight of a child (unless it's screaming, and then I just want to get away).

I also know women my age who wanted babies and had them, and I'm happy for them because they're happy. But I don't envy them, any more than I envy people I knew in college who pursued careers in math and medicine (two things I know I'd be profoundly lousy at and was fortunately never interested in.)

[Radio_Lady]

10. On the flip side, I DO have regrets about having children.

This is really directed at stepchildren -- but I even have thoughts about how I would have lived differently without the two children I did bring into this world.

Maybe this is selfish; maybe not. I do recall interviewing one of the childfree movement's first voices in the 1970s -- writer Ellen Peck -- whom I believe went on to have at least one child.

By the time I did that interview, I had a girl about three years old and a boy of two years old. They are 14 months apart. Love them and their children dearly, but I'm too intelligent not to recognize that I had to almost give away much of my life for the five children that we created in our two previous marriages.

[MissMillie]

16. yeah, that's what I was thinking

but my relationship w/ my child is very strained right now. I imagine that my attitude will change when my son grows out of these very trying years.

[Katherine Brengle]

77. I don't think it's selfish --

it's honest. I love my daughter with all my heart, and I am glad to have her, but I am under no illusion that I didn't give up a lot of my life and a lot of myself in order to give her life and care for her.

Sometimes I think about what life would be like if I hadn't. Not precisely regret, but perhaps wistful daydreams...

[Radio_Lady]

11. The Portland (Oregon) Tribune ran a story with this theme on Tues., April 10.

Just happened to read it. Maybe you would, too.

Earth's crowded enough, some say

Potential parents opt to put the planet before procreation

By Jennifer Willis

Pamplin Media Group, Apr 10, 2007

We have a global population problem. Some Portlanders are doing — or, not doing — something about it.

They are choosing not to have children.

Read more at link:

http://www.portlandtribune.com/sustainable/story.php?story_id=117589671435170700

[stuntcat]

33. ty

I'll pass this on, thanks!

[Omphaloskepsis]

12. I don't have kids, I don't want kids.

I am 29 years old. My sister has 3. I take her 13 year old boy to the skatepark a couple of times every week. I babysit the twins for about 10 hours every week. I love the little buggers, I'm just glad they aren't mine.

[Skittles]

15. nephews and neices are cool

they kinda LOOK like you....but when you're done with them you can just send them home! :thumbsup:

[TZ]

67. I agree

I have a very cute 3 year old niece but I love leaving when she starts one of her hissy fits! I have cats though...permanent 3 year olds..:)

[Evoman]

47. I have twin niece and nephew.

They're gold...but my sister...gah...she's like the walking dead. One of the twins is VERY demanding..she looks so worn out. I'm not sure I could do that..not even for a year! (the twins are two).

[SeattleGirl]

13. I have a very good friend who chose, along with her husband, not

to have children. She was profiled in a book, but I have to apologize in that I cannot find info on the book at this time. She's gotten a lot of flack about it, which is sad.

I have a daughter, whom I had with my ex husband. When my current husband and I got engaged, his sister started in on us about when we would have children. I had absolutely no desire to have any more children, and he had no desire to have any. He finally had to sit her down and let her know the score so she would stop bugging us.

[Guava Jelly]

14. never once

I like kids.
They just cost a butt load of money.
And I would hate to bring one into this crazy world

[MissMillie]

17. money is the smallest part of the investment you make

when you have kids

(I'm sure you know that... I just said it for emphasis)

[Guava Jelly]

29. Raising kids is quite a bit of work

And an honorable thing to do.
I just never had the urge to reproduce.
Can you imagine a little gOpSuX running around acting like i do.:silly:

[MissMillie]

31. I wasn't questioning your choice

:hi:

not at ALL.

It just struck me as funny that you raised money as an issue. I think that when it comes to raising kids, money is one of the SMALLEST issues.

[distantearlywarning]

18. No. Husband and I have been very happy with our decision.

We celebrate "Vasectomy Day" every year.

However, we have talked about acting as foster parents sometime in the future when we have a bigger house and I'm out of school. Or we might decide to help out hubby's mother, who is raising hubby's sister's son after she abandoned him 6 years ago. That decision would be made on the basis of wanting to do something good for the world, and not any desire that either of us have for kids (I've never heard the bio clock ticking, and I don't think he has either).

I also feel like we are a lot more free and happy than our childed friends (but it might just be my bias talking, I don't know). Another difference between us and them: we can change our minds about the choice we've made. :-)

[Jokerman]

19. No regrets here.

I've known that I didn't want kids since I was a teenager. There were a few messed up situations with women I dated, primarily from women that refused to believe I didn't want children or thought that I would change my mind, but other than that, no problems.

[Mad_Dem_X]

20. No regrets whatsoever. n/t

[Akoto]

21. I'm only 22, but ...

I don't have any children, and honestly plan to have none. Due to my health problems, I earn a pretty bad living and would not be the most active father. I really can't bring a kid into this world knowing the additional hardships I'd have as a parent, and that the kids would end up having to deal with them, too.

I do have a brother, though, and I'm counting on him to give me nephews and nieces. I'd be a great uncle. :)

[Deep13]

22. Nope. No regrets.

How has my life compared to others without children? Can't say. I don't know any others.

[noonwitch]

23. I've never been married, so no, I don't have any regrets

I'm not going to have a kid without being married and I haven't dated a guy who hasn't pissed me off completely by the 3rd date in years, so, no, I don't regret it. I always wanted to have kids, but I am close to my neices and nephew. I also work with kids.

[MistressOverdone]

24. I have kids so I can't officially vote

but my son and his wife have elected NOT to, and they get a LOT of satisfaction out of his sister's kids. They take them shopping, babysit, read them stories and then hand them back. But I think that has worked rather well for them.

[NMDemDist2]

25. i was sad when i had a tubal pregnancy, but it wasn't life changing

and I'm not sorry now that I have no children

as for my life compared to others :shrug: who knows?

it's impossible to judge my insides by other's outsides

I do know that most couples with children are still spending big $$$ on those kids so I expect I have more 'toys' in general

:rofl:

[raccoon]

26. No regrets.

Has your life been happy without kids? Yes.

How has your life compared to others without children?

Well, I haven't had to worry about college expenses. Or kids having kids and coming back to live with me.

I sympathize with young people starting out now. It is much harder than 30 years ago when I did. Sometimes, that makes me glad I didn't have children.

ALso, there was a time in the 90's when I couldn't support myself, much less any kids.

I have a niece who turned out to be an abusive bitch with an enormous sense of entitlement. Which also makes me glad I didn't have kids.

[asthmaticeog]

28. So far, no. nt

[Rabrrrrrr]

30. No regrets at all.

[stuntcat]

32. I'm gladder every day

I pay more attention than is healthy to the news so I'm a trillion percent sure my kid doesn't belong in this world. She would be an amazingly beautiful genius, I know what I'd name her and how I'd raise her but she'd also be wise enough to wonder why I gave her the next 80-90 years on this sad planet.

And I do realize how beautifully life-changing and self-affirming it is for everyone who's raising babies.
I can't blame them, it's our main purpose in living-to pass on our 'legacy' or genes or whatever, to hold our prescious little home-made soul in our arms, and we are animals.. I just have too much respect for the planet and the disappearing animals not to realize what affect each of us have on it.
We're the animals who's population has doubled in less than 40 years and we're the animal who's changing the whole Earth with the unnatural way we live.
I have a hard time respecting anyone who has children from now on. I mean I understand them, I pity their babies, but they're taking part in something awful, IMHO.

I know what I say there will make someone really mad at me, cut to their heart.. and if it makes them think to 2090 when their babies may still be alive then it might frighten them too. I apologize for letting out my heart here.

[Evoman]

48. No flames here.

I share your perspective...its not easy fighting that "animal instinct" to pump out progeny.

[SPKrazy]

79. Well you certainly

have a right to your opinion.

I have a son who is seven. I sometimes wonder and worry about his future in this world. I did before he was ever born as well. He is however a treasure, and for all I know he will be someone who makes a real difference in this world. He's made a difference in my world and in everyone who loves him's world as well.

Do I worry though? Yes. I think of one child as the old "zero population" notion, although his being the only one is more due to fertility problems than anything else.

I have never felt that I was taking part in something awful, I have as I've said worried greatly about what the future holds, even in what I hope will be my lifetime. :shrug:

that said, I certainly still think you are wonderful stuntcat :hug: and thanks for your comments :hi:

[stuntcat]

83. Seven years ago

was when I thought my girl belonged here. Since 1999 a lot's changed, mostly in my head, but now I'm glad I didn't jump in, there's no way I'd handle the worry, I'm too worried anyway! Especially about the animals.

Your son will have a wonderful life, I know, I never forget how lucky we here are with our computers and books and houses and stuff.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

88. thanks sweetie!

that is very kind and you are too

;)

:hug:

[InvisibleTouch]

34. Not for one microsecond. n/t

[Hell Hath No Fury]

35. The only regrett I have ever had...

about my childless life is that I often wish I had been the kind of person who could have had kids. But, I am in no way tempermentally/emotionally/financially suited to have produced or raised children -- that is just a fact of life. A fact that sometimes makes me sad.

My life has been a happy one -- certainly different than my friends who have had kids.

[BuddhaGirl]

36. child-free here

and not a moment of regret for hubby and me :-)

[RedStateShame]

37. I'd have answered earlier, but I was busy sleeping.

So, no, I don't regret not having kids.

[RetroLounge]

38. I have no regrets about being child-free...

oh, wait, never mind... :9

RL

[1gobluedem]

40. It wasn't my decision

Just worked out that way. When I hit forty I knew I wasn't going to have kids of my own so I put that dream away.

I am lucky, though, to have three of the most amazing kids ever in my life so I (usually) don't feel that I missed anything.

[kwassa]

41. Yes.

Biology won't let us have kids, so we are trying to adopt right now.

[Evoman]

49. There are plenty of kids born everyday who need a good home.

Your doing a great thing :salute:

[bertha katzenengel]

42. Never wanted kids, never regretted it.

I like kids but I feel I would've been a lousy mother. My sisters have three between them, and they've done just fine. Their kids were enough for me.

[bikebloke]

43. Nope

There was a time when I was wandering Europe and friends kept telling me I'd make a good father. But now I'm quite content on my own and haven't dated in a while. And I heard a rumour that it takes two to breed...

[skygazer]

44. I have 3 kids but you wondered in one post if any parents regretted it

I don't regret it but I will say I never planned to have kids and never imagined myself with any. My kids were, to put it bluntly, all accidents (and yes, I was using birth control for every one of them - some of us find that birth control doesn't work as well for us as it does for others - I had my tubes tied after the third one).

There were times when having them was very stressful - I was young and the first 2 were born 17 months apart. I never actually regretted it - it certainly changed my life and I thought sometimes about what my life would have been like but I'm not much of a one for regret. Waste of time.

My 25 year old daughter and her husband know they don't want children (or if they decide to, they want to adopt) - he recently got a vasectomy. I'm confident they know their own minds and I have no problem with their decision.

Human beings are not an endangered species and one can almost always find someones kids to borrow if they feel a need to hang out with small ones.

[lildreamer316]

65. This is basically me.

I only have one child; had him when I was 30 (33 now). Pure and complete accident; I always swore I didn't want any.
Now, I am ridiculous--'cause I'm a closet baby addict. I lllloooooooove them.
BUT; I am happy with ONE-purely, sublimely happy!
I never would have thought--really.

[KG]

45. never felt any kinda desire to have children - in the event, commited relationships with

sane women have evaded me most of my life, so now i've decided reached an age where i am definitely not interested. :hi:

[deepthought42]

46. At 24, I cannot imagine having kids...

whether I'll change my opinion in the future, I don't know. I am content to be single and child-free for the time being. There are things I want to experience that would be difficult to do while raising a family.

I have a co-worker the same age who is married w/2 kids (one just a few months old). Better her than me. I know she's happy, and that's great for her, but I just can't imagine being in the same position...especially since I'm starting grad school in the fall.

[caty]

50. I once read a

survey on older people who had children and older people who did not have children. The conclusion was that the ones who had children said they lived more meaningful lives. The ones who did not have children led happier lives. So, what are you aiming for. A more meaningful life or a happier life?:shrug:

[Orsino]

51. Not yet.

Life is too much fun.

[MrScorpio]

52. Nope

I can always get my brother's kids if i want them

[Deja Q]

53. My persona qualifies me as an 'adult child'. I cannot answer your question, except

I have no plans to make any children at this time.

[terrya]

54. No

I/we will never have children.

[ganeshji]

55. No regrets now

I may not always feel that way though. I'm fearful of having children. I don't know if I could do what it takes.

[HuffleClaw]

56. not for a moment

and whenever i'm out and about i'm reminded WHY.

[dysfunctional press]

57. NO regrets. LOTS more freedom. LOTS more money. a lot LESS responsibility.

what's not to like?

besides, who in their right mind would want to bring a child into the future we're facing?

[mentalsolstice]

58. I love kids

Especially fat, bouncy babies and toddlers. However, I have never felt a twinge of regret. I do resent it when others, mostly women, have accused me of being selfish or have implied that I'm less of a real woman...or have treated me with sympathy, which is certainly undeserved. And I really hate it when I get treated like I'm some kind of freak...when moms tell their kids to get away from me, as I don't want to be bothered.

And then there's the work issues, like being expected to work holidays, longer hours, etc.

But, no, I have not regretted my choice, ever!

[El Fuego]

59. Very happy, no regrets.

Whenever I see friends dealing with their kids, I always think "Thank God I'm not them!"

[Orsino]

60. I consider it not deciding.

I mean, if we wanted kids, we'd probably make the decision to have/adopt them. We don't want kids, though, so I think of it as a decision we haven't made. Children are not a default condition--just terrifically popular.

[Chan790]

61. I'm happy thus far...

but as I'm 27 and single. I have time to change my mind.

[Lady President]

62. No regrets

I just don't "get" children. Babies make me nervous-- what if I break it, drop it, etc. Older kids are fine for a few minutes, but I never miss them when they leave. Sometimes I think that being an only child and only grandchild made me enjoy the company of adults more. Even as a child, when my little friends played house, I was the neighborhood vet or owned the grocery store-- never the mommy.

Now, if I could only convince the other women I know that I really don't plan on children. Apparently, most of the people I know think that unmarried and childfree equals lonely spinster. :P

[hyphenate]

63. Happily childless!

No desire, no need for one. I have two nieces, three nephews, and one grand nephew. That's all I need to see to know that I escaped without having to put up with one on a permanent basis.

On the other hand, if I did have one, it wouldn't have a "normal" life anyhow--I would likely have him or her enrolled in classical music classes from birth, reading to him or her beginning the day they got home, having astronomical charts all around the nursery instead of cartoons, and other such learning tools. They would be working at the computer at age 3, and other such educational tools. So perhaps it's best that I remain(ed) childless. :)

[Lydia Leftcoast]

64. It wasn't a decision in my case

I'd rather not go into the rest.

[lildreamer316]

66. ....

If you want it; here::hug:
I don't want to offend.

[Missy Vixen]

68. Happy, fulfilled, no regrets. EVER. n/t

[astral]

69. 47 no regrets known since I was 4

that I did not want children. Kids are fine to visit with, and it is refreshing to see them in action, just being spontaneous and in the moment and joyful. It is a commitment I never wanted to make, to be responsible for another human being, and I did not know if I would make a good parent or a bad parent but I sure did not want anything to do with it.

[Blue_Tires]

70. i have no regrets nt

[Lord Helmet]

71. my mom regrets her decision some days

:)

[BuelahWitch]

72. No

I was a "parent" to my mother from the age of 16 to 36. That was enough. No more of that type of thing for me.

[donheld]

73. Not for one teeny tiny second

:bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce:

[I Have A Dream]

74. I believe in reincarnation, and I believe that having children was not...

what I was to do in this life. Maybe next time.

I've never regretted it. I have very little energy, so I probably would have resented the work that would have been required. Children deserve better than that.

[azmouse]

75. I didn't like being around kids when I was a kid.

I think I always knew I'd never be a mother.
For a brief time in my 30's I tried to get pregnant but found it wasn't as easy to get pregnant as I thought. I did, unexpectedly, get pregnant once but miscarried at 8 wks. I do sometimes regret that but I know that I have a very good like without children.

Any regrets about being child-free? No.

[Jimbo S]

76. No regrets at all

Life couldn't be better.

[NewWaveChick1981]

78. Child-free by choice and loving it.

:) I've known since I was in my teens that although I liked kids, I didn't really want any of my own. My husband has wavered back and forth, and I think he's slightly less satisfied without them, but he has known since I met him that I didn't want children. I got pregnant accidentally in 1999, and we made a joint decision to terminate the pregnancy. It was the right decision, and I've never regretted it. I know my husband has, though.

[Lady Effingbroke]

80. Childfree. No regrets.

Everyone I know who has children, and I do mean everyone, is miserable.

One of my twice-childed friends has admitted to me that she loves her children(?!?), but she often wishes she never had them and is jealous that I don't have kids.

Nope, I don't think I'm missing anything.

:hi:

[JitterbugPerfume]

81. I wouldn't trade my kids for millions BUT

when I see how my grand daughter treats my son , I wish HE was childless

[Sequoia]

82. It's past time for the Roman Catholic Church and those other

religions to stop telling people to have loads of children. The days of big families are gone and it's very unreasonable and unresponsible of them to be against birth control.

[Habibi]

84. No regrets here.

I knew in my 20s I didn't want children. My husband felt the same. It's funny, but most of our circle of friends, even old high school buds we're still close to, don't have any either. And we're all 50ish now.

We all joke about forming a geezer commune when we get old, since so few of us have children to help us out in our old age. (Not that having children is any guarantee of that!)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

85. We've got to get a dog...

Because I have this mommy jones that is KILLING me right now. :shrug:
Duckie

[Shell Beau]

86. I really want children. I have been trying for close to 2 years.

My husband and I will make great parents some day! I wish it would hurry up and come! But not everyone is meant to be a parent. Not everyone wants too either. In a perfect world, those of us who wanted and could care for children would be able to do so. And those of us who didn't would never have to even worry about it!! That of course is in a perfect world! Which we are FAR from!

[MedleyMisty]

87. I'm only 26

But I'm never having kids.

I hang out on a forum with a lot of SAHMs. I have a lot more time for myself than they do. I am less authoritarian than they are.

Eh - it's a personal choice. It's right for some people and it's not right for others. Me, I'd be a sucky mother. The kid would be like, "Mommy, I'm hungry and cold and sick." and I'd be like, "Shut up, I'm reading DU. Go away."

Plus I'd probably end up divorced. My husband doesn't mind doing all the housework now (he's doing the laundry right now) but he might mind being saddled with all the childcare work.

Neither one of us feel any need at all to reproduce. We would not be good parents, we couldn't afford kids even if we wanted them, and who knows what monsters would result from the combination of our genes?

And yes, I am perfectly happy with my life.

[Scout]

89. haven't regretted it yet

don't really think i will ever regret it, but who knows for sure?

my closest friends and my husband's closest friends are also child free and are all happy

we have nieces, nephews, and other friends who do have children. sometimes we borrow them and enjoy their company, but we also really like to take them home!