What to do...old sick cats...

[rbnyc]

We have 3 cats. One is very healthy. Two are brothers from the same litter and they each have health problems. One has dysplasia and is extremely overweight due to poor mobility. The other has a condition called Mega-Colon, which is inoperable. It means his colon stretches and stores his feces like chipmunk cheeks, unless the stool is extremely soft. So he has a special diet, but even so, about once a month we either have to take him to the vet and have his feces removed and an enema administered for $120 a visit, or I have to put on the rubber gloves, lube up and do it myself.

I know I've written about my cats before. (Beverly and Elliot) We've really been struggling with them for years. With our son and our careers, it's a real challenge for us to give these cats the care that they need. We're going to be moving into a new house soon, and we're really questioning whether or not they should come with us.

But what to do? We do love them. We would want to make sure they have a loving home with caretakers who are equipped to provide for their special needs. How do we find such people?

We would never turn them over to a shelter, except possibly a no-kill shelter. But the no-kill shelter that we trust is at capacity. And even so, giving them to a no-kill shelter means they take 2 spots from other animals until they get placed--and they will be very difficult to place.

We're just exhausted and money is so tight. We want what is best for our cats, and we just aren't confident that we are able to provide or sustain what is best for them. We're just taxed.

Anyone in NYC area want some high-maintenance cats?

EDIT: typo

[Connonym]

1. No advice but

:hug: for support. I know you must be feeling overwhelmed. Even though veterinary care is much more affordable than our health care it can still be incredibly costly to have chronic medical conditions treated.

[rbnyc]

5. Thanks.

The vet taught me to do the procedure myself, so that saves money--but it's very difficult. It's really unsafe to do if I'm tired. And my husband can't do it at all. Bevy just won't let him.

[Kali]

2. Put them down.

Harsh, but better than "abandoning" them, which is effectively what giving them away is. Especially the one that has to have monthly vet-enemas - what kind of quality of life is that for a cat?

Just my opinion, as the recipient of any number of truly dumped animals.

[rbnyc]

4. Such a hard decision.

I just talked to a client whose dog passed away over the weekend. This poor dog. I've been trying to nudge him into putting her down for over a year. It's a lot easier when it's not your own.

My cats are only 8. That's really only old because they are chronically ill. If they were healthy, they'd have another 4-10 years in them.

We can't just abandon them, which is exactly why we still have them. I just think they haven't crossed that line yet, however. They still have enough quality of life to keep nurturing them. I'm afraid if we put them down it would be for our convenience.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

13. Finding them new homes is also for your convenience

I wouldn't trust anyone else to care enough to go through that expense and hassle.

If you can't take them with you, it might be best to put them down. (easy to say, not at all easy to do)

But, I've never been in your shoes. The pets I put down were terminal, so the only choice was Who Does the Deed? In some cases, the vet, and others it was me.

[Kali]

17. What does your vet recommend? Have you talked this over with him/her?

I hate having to put stuff down that is not quite in the realm of obviously needing it (screaming in pain - and even then it can be hard) but sometimes you just have to. I have a horse in a similar situation I am dealing with right now. Too old to stay on pasture, can barely walk, but an old pet and still eating pretty well. It is hard.

[Arkansas Granny]

18. Since I don't know your cats, I don't know what their quality of life is.

I've always followed the rule with my pets, that I would have them put down if I felt life was no longer good for them or if they were in chronic pain. I believe that's when I would want to go, myself. I know it's a hard decision to make, but it may be kinder to put them down than for them to try to adjust to a new home at their age.

[wildhorses]

3. how old is old?

i am tending to agree with kali about this, sorry. i know how painful it will be :hug:

[rbnyc]

6. Only 8.

Not that old for a healthy cat, but maybe a good long life for cats with medical issues.

:(

[wildhorses]

8. so sorry, i know what a heart wrenching decision it is.

:hug::hug::hug:

edited for typosx(

[skygazer]

7. Such terrible decisions to make

I feel for you. It's never easy to make those choices and of course, only you can make them. I'm sorry - I can't offer any answers but I do offer you my sympathy. Whatever choice you make, it's obvious you love them and care about their well-being. :hug:

[rbnyc]

10. Thank you.

I just wish I could send them to some magical kitty hospice where they would have everything they need until the right time for them to say goodbye.

[soleft]

22. There is one in Long Island, but you don't want to know how much $

let's just say I hope I can retire as well. I'm facing pretty much the same problem. me, the kid and the ex have to have a heart to heart and decide what to do. They're 14, two sisters. One is kind of senial, both are very neurotic. I'm wondering, if one does make the decision to put down, how do you do that? Just go to the Vet and say, what? Please euthenize my cats? It almost seems inconceivable that I could even do that. Please keep me posted as to what you decide to do and I'll do likewise.

[grasswire]

9. honestly, I think it is kinder to put them down than give them away...

....unless you find an unusually good and loving home. Even so, the trauma to them of making the transition would be hard for them.

And you have to think of what's ahead in the next several years if you do keep them. Their health issues are not going to get better, only worse. If you are exhausted now, think about daily struggles with renal failure. I have been through THAT with two cats and it was heartbreaking and difficult.

Think about this: perhaps Elliot and Beverly came from a litter that was doomed to physical troubles. Perhaps their mother was undernourished. Perhaps they were born with such troubles that they would never be able to live a full and healthy life. Perhaps eight years is a good run for them.

Please note that I adore cats and would do just about anything for one. I lost three elder cats in one year to renal failure. I fought for them to stay alive, and I will never get over the process.

My thoughts are with you. Sometimes people have to make hard choices. When it comes to the health of the human vs. the health of the cat, well.....

[rbnyc]

11. They were the last 2 in the litter...

...to be picked at the shelter. They came from a litter that had been dropped off at the local no-kill shelter where our vet works. We had gone there to get just 1 kitten to be a pal for our Jones. But when we saw the 2 little kittens there, we couldn't leave one of them behind, even tho Elliot obviously had dysplasia. (Poor shaky little kitty.)

I guess they were the 2 runts. My husband says 8 years is a good run for them. I guess I should ask our vet, but honestly, I'm ashamed to bring it up. I know that's kind of irrational.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

14. What have you tried for the megacolon?

I lost my megacolon kitty last year to cancer... but we were able to keep him regulated with meds- and since we used a compounding pharmacy, they were able to put it in a form that he LOVED. It was a treat for him, and he'd lick the plate and ask for more. (which, of course we couln't give... but...) He prefered the "triple fish oil flavor" for his meds to be compounded into.

[rbnyc]

15. Laxatives and lots of water.

He gets worse when he can tell we're stressed, or if he senses a big change. He was very sick while I was pregnant. He's been very sick while we've been negotiating buying this house.

Sorry you lost your kitty.

[jobycom]

12. Keep them and continue to care for them.

I'm not completely against putting a pet down in hopeless circumstances, but I can read from your replies that you don't want to. If you don't believe it is the only option--and I can tell you don't--you will not be happy that you did it. You don't want to live with that type of pain.

Just judging by your comments, you are struggling with this. You think it's time to get rid of the burden, but you aren't comfortable with it. You don't think it's time to put them down. If you give them away, chances are high someone else without your level of devotion to them will put them down shortly, to be free of the burden.

You also haven't mentioned being unable to afford the car, so I'm assuming that, while I'm sure it's a burden (I know who it goes, I'm still paying off several thousand dollars to save an eleven year old cat--who is still going strong, I might add), you can handle it.

The only thing that will make you feel peace-of-mind is to commit to keeping them, and keep going until the situation changes and you are sure it is the right time. You didn't say, but if you have any children attached to them, you will feel more guilt about letting them go and disappointing the children (that's what convinced me to pay thousands of dollars for a less-than-even chance to save mine).

Just my advice, based on the tone of your posts. You want to be free of the burden, but you don't feel right following through on the options you have. Do what feels right to you, and you'll feel better about yourself than if you do what is most convenient.

If I've misread you, ignore my advice. :) I know it's a hard decision, any way it goes. Sympathies, and good luck. And I'm not trying to preach, just give you some more input to process.

[rbnyc]

16. I think you're right.

Maybe if I get promoted, I can get them a nurse.

My son loves them. He's 2 1/2. We could never explain where they went if we were to either give them up or put them down. I do think they have enough quality of life that they should be cared for. You're right, we're the ones who love them, we just have to do it.

It's just hard.

It makes me really feel for all those people who are primary care-givers to elderly or sick parents.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

19. If I were one of your cats,

I wouldn't know how to handle being given to someone else after so many years together. Take care of them as long as you can, then let them sleep. :hug:

[rbnyc]

20. Yeah.

They love us. They've even learned to love our toddler. My son feeds them every morning. It's his first chore. He can do it all by himself and he always remembers. And he says, "Eat, kitties, eat."

[GoddessOfGuinness]

21. Good for him!

And good for them, too! :hug: