can there be unconditional love at a personal level in any form?

[wildhorses]

doesn't personal boundries by definition exclude the chance for it:shrug:

and yes, this is the kind of stuff that wakes me up in the middle of the night:eyes:

[Omphaloskepsis]

1. No, I wish I could expand on that.

I need a smoke. Maybe later.

[wildhorses]

2. somehow i think you captured the essence of what i was trying

to say quite succintly:rofl:

[fizzgig]

3. i think so

with animals, absolutely...i love my kitties without question or hesitation

with people, i also say absolutely...there are people in my life i will love no matter what, provided they don't kill me or someone else i love (or some such other dark extreme). ok, maybe not unconditionally, but pretty damn close :shrug:

[wildhorses]

5. somehow i never thought of animals

in the context of this question

they are just beyond the human experience, their natural instinct for love is much farther advanced than ours. i am just glad they have the patience waiting for us to catch up.

[fizzgig]

8. eloquently put

i always think of them as furry people, but, as you so beautifully stated, they are so much more evolved than us when it comes to love

[wildhorses]

10. thanks--

:blush:

:hug:

[Dastard Stepchild]

4. Toward my cats and dogs, yes...

Because they are incapable of profoundly disappointing and/or hurting me in the ways that a human could.

Toward people? I find it doubtful that I could experience unconditional love. There are certain things that, were they to be done to me by another person, would inspire me to withdraw my feelings of love. I aspire to this form of love, to some degree, but recognize the challenges in achieving it.

[wildhorses]

6. funny, how we turn to the animals to show us the way

there is something to this:think:

[blogslut]

7. My love for my child is unconditional

n/t

[wildhorses]

9. i don't think my parents showed me this

i always had to do something to gain their attention...to just be was not good enough:shrug:

[fizzgig]

11. ...

:hug:

[wildhorses]

13. aww---

:hug:

they are real go-getters, me, not so much;)

[blogslut]

12. That is unfortunate

I hope you find unconditional love. It does happen and it can happen to you.

[wildhorses]

16. its a nice thought

but, so far...hasn't happened

i truly doubt the existence of it

[boston bean]

23. do you have any children? when I had mine, it changed my whole

life. I never thought I could love so much. And that in turn gave me great hope and love in return.

Now, I'm not saying to run out and have a baby. Sometimes in life we have to just accept who we are and where we came from and where we are and use that as a building block to move forward and then things start to fall into place. Atleast that is how it was with me.

[hfojvt]

51. I also get curious about people complaining of attention deficits

Sometimes it would be nice to not have a parent watching you, ready to say 'what the fu$% are you doing?' I think at least 75% of the time we siblings did our own thing. Heck, for me, 50% of the time I was just either sitting there with a book, or riding my bike or shooting baskets.

[wildhorses]

65. huh?

you lost me here:dunce:

[trof]

30. yep

[tblue]

14. For my child. I love him unconditionally.

[tblue]

15. delete

[Deja Q]

17. Yes.

It explains why some people stay married to their lovers who cheat or do other mean things to them.

(I never thought of that perspective until now. It doesn't make doing those awful things right, but it does explain a lot of things and a lot of people in this world too. The cheaters and other miscreants should be grateful, IMHO.)

[wildhorses]

39. so you think that because they stay with them that it means

they 'love' the person? doesn't have anything to do with finances or other mundane factors and constraints:shrug:

[skygazer]

43. As someone who stayed with an abusive spouse

I can attest that in my case anyway love - unconditional or otherwise - had nothing to do with it. It was pure fear - fear of worse punishment if I tried to leave, fear of what would happen to my kids if the worst happened, fear of being alone with three kids, no income and incredible debt if I did manage to get away (which was exactly what happened).

There is a warped and tortured part of your psyche that makes you mistake the dependence you feel on those people as love. For a while. With any luck, you eventually realize that you're clinging to the very thing that is destroying you.

I now have to go rinse my brain with Clorox for even delving into those memories. :scared:

[wildhorses]

45. sorry--

:hug:

see my post #36 in this thread.

[xchrom]

18. perfection of any state -- is an ideal.

the purpose of conceiving it -- is to move THROUGH time and space towards that state -- and hopefully review progress or lack of progress as you go.

[wildhorses]

31. i agree and while the parent/child association is a strong

argument i still think condtions are demanded from both sides.

a child 'expects' (just by virture of the fact of being)to be taken care of and a parent 'expects' that child to grow and learn to the best of their capabilities.

the human body 'enforces' some aspect of boundries as a given.

[QMPMom]

19. I love my husband, kids, parents and sister unconditionally. n/t

[BuelahWitch]

20. I think SOME people can love others unconditionally

Most cannot, not even family.

[Guava Jelly]

21. Only if you want it to.

Love is tricky word.
Love isn't spared by time or change.It is living and grows
and that it is living it can also die if not taken care of.
But I'll let better educated minds take this one

John Powell
“The only love worthy of a name is unconditional.”

unknown
“You have to believe love is unconditional before you can actually start meeting its conditions.”

Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt
“True love is always unconditional. Healthy, loving relationships are never unconditional”

Duke Ellington
“Love is supreme and unconditional; like is nice but limited”

Martin Luther King, Jr
“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”

Brian Tracy
“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.”


:shrug:

[wildhorses]

32. i love the paradox of this one---

unknown
“You have to believe love is unconditional before you can actually start meeting its conditions.”


it states perfectly what i am trying to wrap my brain around:thumbsup:

thanks for these :hug:

:hi:

[Guava Jelly]

58. you are welcome

:)

[boston bean]

22. I think that the only uncoditional love is a parent for a child. This is not always the case

but it is the only place you will find it, that is my belief.

[undeterred]

24. dogs

[wildhorses]

41. dogs are better than persons

ever noticed how dog spelled backwards is god;)

[hippiechick]

61. I was going to post the very same thing.

:hi:

[MichiganVote]

25. Unconditional love does not rule out boundaries

[wildhorses]

40. care to expound on that thought...?

as it is said is as it will be!

[MichiganVote]

55. To love someone, to have that feeling, is an unconditional state

meaning, you can't will yourself out of it even if the beloved somehow violates your values or abuses you somehow. Consider the number of children who love their parents despite abusive behavior or the spouses who are terrorized yet somehow still feel a sense of love for their abuser.

To set boundaries can be an act of love or of self preservation. Its like saying, I may well love you but I will not permit you own me.

To love someone unconditionally does not mean that one must submit to whatever one's beloved says or does. We all have choices about our actions or our reactions to others. One cannot be said to be loved if all that one has done is give oneself away. What then is left to love?

[MichiganVote]

56. Delete/dupe

[hippywife]

26. I know there is.

My husband and I were just talking and he walked up and kissed me. Then I looked in the mirror. I'm doing housework and haven't done a thing with my appearance since I rolled out of bed this morning. It always amazes me that when I look this bad, he can even think about loving me without ever stopping to ask why. LOL

[WritingIsMyReligion]

27. Hey, I think about that stuff, too.

Often in the middle of the night. :crazy:

I say there could be, but it's exceptionally rare. Only my animals do I love unconditionally.

[wildhorses]

29. yes, animals are way more advanced in this area

glad to know i am not the only nut that wakes up thinking this stuff:silly:

:hi:

[hfojvt]

50. I see people saying that they love their animals unconditionally

not the reverse. My dogs are happy to see me, and follow me around, and sometimes mourn and whine when I am not there, but alot of that is their expectation that I will play with them, feed them, and take them places. They don't spend alot of time thinking about my needs or desires.

[Nikia]

52. My dog almost always hangs out with my husband and I

When my husband is home, even when we are pretty much doing our own thing and ignoring him. When my husband is gone, he sits at the top of the stairs, looking out the window and barking at anything that he hears or sees. He is always concerned if my husband or I get emotionally or physically hurt. He is a creature of base desires though. He will always try to get food, even if my husband and I are eating it at the time. I don't know how he would act if we stopped feeing him and ignored him when he barked at us and tossed around his food dish.

[wildhorses]

63. yes, i think in order to fit the definition of unciodtional it has to

go both ways...otherwise there have been conditions, right? :crazy:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

28. i love my brother pretty unconditionally.

[wildhorses]

33. yes, and i mine

although i notice we both qualify the statement with the word 'pretty'

i like to think i love all my family unconditionally but, how can i when sometimes i don't even like them:P

:hi:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

35. there are times when i dont like him, but i always love him

:hi:

[skygazer]

34. I think it's possible

I have 3 children who I love unconditionally. Even if one of them did something completely heinous, I would continue to love them, though I would abhor what they did and would not protect them from the consequences (I would probably project any hatred toward myself, taking on part of the guilt - it's what moms do). But I can't imagine not loving them.

I think it's more problematical for others in our lives. I think it's certainly possible for some people to love their spouse or family unconditionally but not for others. I've been let down badly a number of times by both lovers and family so I don't think I could let go of those fears enough to do it.

[wildhorses]

36. yes, i think fear is at the base of it all

fear is the opposite of love, i think :shrug:

:hi:

[buddhamama]

37. define love

for me unconditional love-love in any form-is independent of the other person.

it is something we feel, not something we are 'made' to me feel.

what is love. the problem in imo, are the expectations we place on the word love.

i love my son, my family and my friends unconditionally.

they need not do anything for me to love them, it just is.

if i went the rest of my life without speaking to them again, the love in my heart would remain.

we all love inspite of ourselves and eachother- unconditional love. :hug:

[wildhorses]

38. love is a verb

and action word

i guess in your sense then a feeling is an action

:hug:

perhaps to show love is a better way to phrase it?

i have been told that i think too much:P

feel free to tell me to STFU:dunce:

[Guava Jelly]

60. ...

:loveya: M'friend :)

[gemdem]

42. To love without conditions

is the only way that I know how to love. To apply conditions, that is "I'll love you if..." is something that I'm not able to understand or do. Loving unconditionally means that I sometimes am hurt, but I'm hurt far less than often than I have the love that I give returned.

:-)

[Radical Activist]

44. There can be

but it would ultimately be unhealthy and self destructive.

[SPKrazy]

46. Nope

just an ideal

it's all conditional though, right?

anyone love someone no matter what?

doesn't seem to happen.

:shrug:

[SPKrazy]

53. clarify further-for kids yes i agree

perhaps one may still feel love... but actions may speak otherwise?

I don't know, i feel i would and will always love my son, so perhaps that is unconditional.

other love, for other people, changes happen, things happen.

:shrug:

[enigmatic]

47. Of course

I think the problem is alot of people mistake unconditional love for a "don't criticize them/defend them at all costs, even when they are horribly wrong", and that's has nothing to do w/ loving unconditionally..

[Left Is Write]

48. There are absolutely no conditions on my love for my children.

[hfojvt]

49. I have always seen unconditional love as kinda stupid or crazy

It means you will love somebody who treats you like crap or who acts like an a$$hole/bully/moran/liar/thief/etc. I am not gonna feel bad for being either unable or unwilling to do so. Fu$% that. It's not like I would keep score or a balance sheet or something, but there has to be a little quid pro quo in a relationship.

[wildhorses]

64. agape love is the only thing i can think of that fits the definition

parents have the condition that their children grow up
and children have the condition that they are cared for until they grow up

it just is...

[Jamastiene]

54. Yes.

Pets give unconditional love. Oh, you meant people? Not sure. Very good question you posted here. I would think no, but the closest you can get is from parents who care about you. As far as people you meet along the way, maybe you can get somewhat close, but it would still never be the same you'd get from pets. Only they give true unconditional love, IMHO.

[Nikia]

57. I think so but it is important to establish boundaries

So that one doesn't get too hurt in that love. I'm still working on it myself.

[RetroLounge]

59. For children, yes.

I love my kids unconditionally.

There are always conditions for love between two adults. And humans will always disappoint.

Color me cynical...

RL

[EFerrari]

62. No but conditions can be negotiable and also temporary.

:)