DU'ers who've been through Ba/Bat-Mitzvah

[Taverner]

Do these things get really expensive? Was yours?

A friend of mine is holding one for his daughter - and he set a limit of $6K which seems large enough. His daughter wants to spend more of course. Thing is he's not exactly a man of means - single father who runs a plumbing co.

[NewWaveChick1981]

1. The local rabbi lived across the street from me when I was growing up.

His son had his Bar Mitzvah around 1980, and at that time, he spent $5,000 on it. :yoiks: I've heard of much more expensive ones than that, but I've also heard of less expensive ones. This particular rabbi was not wealthy but not poor either. He'd saved for it since his son was born, so he expected it to cost a decent amount.

That's about all I know.

[seemunkee]

2. Both my kids went through it

Yes they can get expensive. Ours were relatively modest and probably cost around 6K. I'm betting my brother-in-law spent around 15K on his sons. I have known people who spent 50K, not including the house remodeling they thought was needed prior to the event.

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

3. not personally, but I have been to lots.

My family is straight up secular, so I didn't have one myself, but those of my observant relatives and childhood friends ran well over $10,000 in the 80's with some being worthy of that stupid sweet sixteen show on MTV, complete with temper tantrums.

I really just found them tacky

[Burma Jones]

4. My Niece's, in 2003, ran over $20,000

After her parents' divorce, her younger sister's was closer to $4,000.

When I had my first communion (just short of age 12), We had dinner at Antoine's and I received a Bible and a book about NFL Running Backs. A year later, I attended my first Bar Mitzvah. The Bar Mitzvah Boy explained it to me thusly, we Jews take 18 Christmases and roll it up into one big bash.....I was impressed......

[MissB]

14. Uh, did they divorce over the $20k?

It would be a breaking point for me.

[Burma Jones]

15. Nah, my Sister-In-Law decided to stop pretending to be straight

She's a lot happier, as are her kids, now......Her ex-Husband wasn't what I would call an honorable man.....

[ThomCat]

5. They can get terribly expensive.

I've seen some that were almost free. They were regular members of a small congregation and it was a community event. I've also been to ones that cost upwards of $50k. It depends.

[fla nocount]

6. Fairly pricey.

I'm going to my fourth in a year next Saturday and my friend the host stated that he was trying to keep it under 10G, he didn't say it with conviction though. The costs can be equated I believe to a wedding and for the same reasons. Invitations, Temple, photographer, caterers, transportation, feeding the masses twice, entertainment w/venue, etc. All the ones I've been to have been two part; Temple in the morning and party after Shabbat (sundown). Throw in the costs of housing out of town guests, well, you get the idea.

[auntAgonist]

7. whoa! my wedding didn't

even cost 300.00!


aA

[KitchenWitch]

19. My wedding (year 2000) didn't even cost 10Gs

[asthmaticeog]

8. Mine was like 3 or 4 thou, in 1983.

Which I totally didn't get. Shit, I was 13, from where I sat a pizza party or something would have been far preferable to having to wear a suit all day. It was really all about my parents. The pride they took in my Bar Mitzvah far outweighed my giveafucks, which I'm sure is probably fairly typical among American Jewry's less-devout suburbanites.

[Taverner]

9. My friend doesn't want to spend more than $500, but, you see, she is

Daddy's Girl.

Arg! and I have a daughter!!! (we don't practice any religion tho...and never will)

[Beetwasher]

10. I Have No Idea How Much Mine Cost

It was in 1981, but we rented out a catering hall, so it was probably several grand, at least.

[deadparrot]

11. $6000?

Good lord. :wow:

My family's idea of a party is stocking up on booze and ordering in pizza or sub sandwiches. Even for fairly big events like graduation.

I can't even fathom spending 6K on a party. :yoiks:

[blueraven95]

12. There really are much cheaper ways to go about doing it

as long as you aren't trying to out do anyone. Mine in the early 90s cost less than $500.00 easily (although I don't know the exact amount).

We had the party at home instead of renting out a hall - which is one of the biggest expenses. We also knew musicians who all brought their instruments and just jammed. We were very involved in the religious community, so many people contributed to the food. I think the only thing that we paid full price for was invitations.

I've been to a lot of those huge, blowout bar/bat mitzvahs and honestly, I prefer what I had. It was much more about the family and community - what the whole event is supposed to be about- and less about the commercial who can out shine whom that tends to happen.

[bullwinkle428]

13. Don't think my parents spent more than $1000-1500 in 1977 for me...

They had a reception at home on the Friday night following the service, and then a sit-down dinner at one of the nicer restaurants in town the following evening. I think there was a live band. My brother's was scaled down somewhat, 2 years later. We just had the reception at our home on Staurday evening...

[City Lights]

16. I've seen both ends of the spectrum.

I've been to one that was like an upscale wedding reception, in which 100-150 people attended, and my daughter recently attended one that was in the community room of friend's condo, in which 20 friends attended. It all comes down to what the family can afford.

On edit - my sister's (DUer, borlis) friend's son celebrated his last year, and it was the most over-the-top celebration I've ever heard about. His mother stretched it out over 2 days!.

The invitation was delivered by UPS, and came in a clear, cellophane plastic Chinese food container. Gourmet fortune cookies were inside the container. The "fortunes" contained the details about the celebration.

The ceremony was held Saturday morning at a Japanese restaurant - they rented out the whole place. After the celebration, the guests had snacks and cocktails in the bar while the restaurant was being set for lunch. This portion of the celebration was reserved for close friends and family (about 75 people). The guests were then invited to their house for an impromptu BBQ that evening.

On Sunday they had a party for 300 people at Morton's Steak House in Schaumburg (rented out the restaurant). Of the 300 guests, 75 were 13-year-olds, and the kids were allowed to order off the adult menu.

The goody bags were metal gum ball banks and the gum balls had the kid's name on them.

No stone was left unturned.

Kid #2 of 3 is this year. It's gonna be at Lawry's Prime Rib.

:eyes:

[Taverner]

20. Wow

Just...wow...

[cloudbase]

17. A Jewish male becomes bar mitzvah

at age 13, and is then accepted into the greater Jewish community as a responsible adult. The party is merely a celebration of this transition. The bat mitzvah is a fairly recent celebration, now observed in most reform and I would guess a few conservative communities.

I doubt mine cost $100. We had some friends and family over, some food and booze, and a damn good time.

[Miss Marmelstein]

18. My parents opted for family dinner as celebration....

They weren't deeply religious anyway....and I'm even less.