"Lawmaker comes down on plastic gonads" - actual news headline

[WilliamPitt]

Lawmaker comes down on plastic gonads

February 22, 2007

ANNAPOLIS, Md. --Fake bull testicles and other anatomically explicit vehicle decorations would be banned from Maryland roads under a bill pending in the state legislature.

The measure was filed in the General Assembly Monday by Delegate LeRoy E. Myers Jr., R-Washingon, who says children shouldn't be exposed to giant plastic gonads dangling from pickup truck trailer hitches. The bill also would ban depictions of naked human breasts, buttocks or genitals, with offenses punishable by fines of up to $500.

"It's time to take a stand," Myers told The (Hagerstown) Herald-Mail.

The American Civil Liberties Union objected to Myers' bill.

"The legislation is overly broad, and would probably make it illegal to have a sticker on your car of the Venus de Milo from an art museum," ACLU of Maryland spokeswoman Meredith Curtis wrote in an e-mail.

More: http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2007/02/22/lawmaker_comes_down_on_plastic_gonads/

[KitchenWitch]

1. Hey, I heard you on Randi yesterday!

:thumbsup:

[Reverend_Smitty]

2. Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!?!

[billyskank]

3. Is it legislating against indecency or simple bad taste?

[mainegreen]

4. Those are important. They wonderful little signs telling me to not talk to this person!

:rofl:

[LSK]

5. NOW WHAT WILL I PUT ON MY HUMMER????

DAMMIT!!!

:rofl:

[WilliamPitt]

6. You said "Hummer."

[WindRavenX]

7. I like them...

...because it allows me to visually identify people I never, ever, ever want to interact with.

If you have testicles on your car, you are a loser.

[guitar man]

8. Oh give me a break

I grew up in farm country and just about every farm you passed there was an actual bull with a real pair of huge nads standing out by the fence. What's next, mandatory jockstraps for bulls?? :rofl:

Here's an idea, spend the legislative time and effort on something that really matters, poverty, healthcare, the environment, education etc. and stop screwing around with shit that doesn't really hurt anyone. :eyes:

[Connonym]

17. What's next is a ban on animals humping in public

What ever will happen to Little Joey Fundy, Jr.,if he sees two cows doing it? He'll be scarred for life! We must immediately put curtains up on all farm fences.

[guitar man]

21. exactly :)

:rofl:

[havocmom]

23. Two cows doin it will piss off the gay-hating fundies for sure

Let me guess, you're a city kid? ;)

[Connonym]

27. I'm actually from Iowa and live in WI, I should know better

:blush:

[havocmom]

29. LOL From Iowa and in Wisconsin?

You may get voted off the island for that slip then :rofl:

[Connonym]

30. that and my "cheese sucks" bumper sticker

;-)

[KamaAina]

31. Or better yet, two gay rams

Cutting-edge new research suggests that up to ten percent of rams may be gay. Your tax dollars at work!

http://www.slate.com/id/2158877/

According to an article by researchers involved in the project, here's how it works. In a 15-by-10-foot "arena," a young ram is offered four choices: two ewes in heat and two rams. "The four stimulus animals are restrained in stanchions so that they can only be approached from the sides and rear." For 30 minutes, the unrestrained ram does as he pleases. The scientists count his "anogenital sniffs," "mounts," and "ejaculations."

A bare majority of rams turn out to be heterosexual. One in five swings both ways. About 15 percent are asexual, and 7 percent to 10 percent are gay.

Why so many gay rams? Is it too much socializing with ewes? Same-sex play with other lambs? Domestication? Nope. Those theories have been debunked. Gay rams don't act girly. They're just as gay in the wild. And a crucial part of their brains—the "sexually dimorphic nucleus"—looks more like a ewe's than like a straight ram's. Gay men have a similar brain resemblance to women. Charles Roselli, the project's lead scientist, says such research "strongly suggests that sexual preference is biologically determined in animals, and possibly in humans."

Remember, fundies are generally pro-sheep, what with all that lamb, shepherd and flock imagery and all. Watch their teeny tiny little brains :nuke: !!

[madinmaryland]

9. It was the lead story on the local news stations here last night.

They only showed the top part of the things. Bet he won't be reelected!!1!!

:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. Memo to all copy editors:

"Cute" isn't. :thumbsdown:

[Strawman]

11. I think it would have been more effective political theater...

and even more of an absurd attention grabbing headline if said Republican lawmaker had "gone down" on said plastic gonads in front of the press instead.

Sheesh. You know your scraping the bottom of the wedge issue barrel when you have to resort to drafting a bill on plastic bull testicles. Maybe they oughta slip in estate tax repeal as a rider to that one while they're at it. Good thing Arlen Specter is no longer chairing any committees or there'd be Senate hearings on this.

[LeftyMom]

12. No mudflap ladies?

"The bill also would ban depictions of naked human breasts, buttocks or genitals, with offenses punishable by fines of up to $500."

Dude, that's just wrong.

[tk2kewl]

13. Well now... just change a verb conjugation and we have a scandal on our hands

:rofl:

[Dangerously Amused]

14. Well, there goes the Wienermobile, I guess.

[Connonym]

15. I can't believe nobody's said it yet "That's NUTS!" n/t

[Reverend_Smitty]

16. ...

:P

[deepthought42]

18. I definately did NOT vote for that guy...

Even though I think those things are TACKY beyond belief, I wouldn't want a law against them. Besides, I've lived in MD my whole life, and I've only seen maybe a few, and I have yet to see any obscene bumperstickers (other than * ones, that is...lol). :eyes:

[Carni]

19. "naked human breasts, buttocks or genitals"

Geez-- lol

I guess I have missed seeing these vehicles in my travels.

Nothing classier than having buttocks and genitals plastered all over the old bumper! LOL!

[jakefrep]

20. If this law bans pissing Calvin stickers, I'm all for it. nt

[Yavin4]

22. WillPitt, I am Shocked That You Posted This Story

and not matcom. He must be slipping.

[LSK]

24. actually matcom posted it a few days ago and he should sue pitt

:popcorn:

[Yavin4]

34. Silly Me For Doubting Matcom

My apologies to the greatest.

[SOteric]

25. Was he wearing pants at the time, and

did he smoke a cigarette afterward?

Enquiring minds & alla dat.

[mike_c]

26. wait just a dad-gummed minute-- our forefathers fought and died...

...so that I could hang plastic bull testicles on my truck!

[Connonym]

28. What about REAL testicles? Will folks still be able to hang those?

How about Neuticles™? Dammnit, this guy had better cover all angles or some punk is going to find a technicality to get around the law!

[LostInAnomie]

32. FUCK! Why couldn't I have read this BEFORE I epoxied that 14" dildo to my car's grill!?

That shit ain't gonna come off!

[Beetwasher]

33. Matcom? Is That You? And What Have You Done W/ Will's

Bloated corpse? :evilgrin: