Funny Joke Friday

[edbermac]

Have a nice long weekend, everybody!

A guy decides to move to a nudist colony. He gets a letter from his mother asking
him to send her a current picture of himself at his new address. He's too embarrassed
to tell her that he lives in a nudist colony, so he takes a photo of himself, cuts
it in half and mails her the top part.

A few days later he gets a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her
a picture of himself at his new address. The guy takes another photo of himself, cuts
it in half, but mistakenly mails her the bottom half of the picture.

The guy gets nervous when he realizes that he sent her the bottom half, but remembers
that his grandmother's eyesight is pretty bad and she probably won't even notice. A week
later he receives a reply from his grandmother. It reads:

"Thank you for your recent photo. Try changing your hair style, it makes your nose look short."

[edbermac]

1. No joke replies in 8 hours??

You people have no sense of humor.:(

[redwitch]

2. I don't KNOW any! I can never remember them!

Sorry. :cry:

[chknltl]

3. bush walks into a bar...

and osama bin laden says; "Hey there bud, let me get the first round......"

[bigwillq]

4. HA!

:rofl:

[chknltl]

5. A blond goes to work crying her eyes out....

...her boss asks her "What's with all the tears?" She replies, "I just found out my grandmother has died!" "Oh dear, how tragic!", replied the boss, "Would you like some time off then?" "No",the blond responded, "I think I need to stay here so I can keep my mind distracted" About an hour later the boss peeks in at the blond and finds her crying even louder. "Oh no, now what is this all about?" he asks. "Well", replied the blond, "I just got a call from my sister and you'll never believe this but...HER grandmother just died too!"

[chknltl]

6. Another blond is at the scene of a fire....

...being that nobody else is there she decides to use her cell phone to call the fire department.
"Fire Department"
Blond: "I'minfrontofaHOUSE whichisonFIRE, HURRY! YouHAVEtoGEThere QUICK!"
Fire Department: "Yes Ma'am we'll get right on it but slow down a bit I can hardly understand you. So tell us how to get there."
Blond; "OHMYGOD andyoucall ME blond!!! Okay then: USE... THE... BIG... RED... TRUCK... WITH... THE... SIREN........."

[stuntcat]

7. How do crazy people go through the forest?

They take the PSYCHOPATH :crazy:

[sakabatou]

8. Hahaha

[hellbound-liberal]

9. Here's one you might enjoy. Sorry it took so long!

One afternoon Jesus is playing golf with Moses. All is fine until they come to the twelfth hole -- a long par four with a water hazard that would require most amateurs to lay up on the near side of the water before shooting for the green. Jesus says to Moses, “Hand me the 2-iron”. Moses replies. Are you kidding? Tiger Woods couldn’t make it over the water with a 2-iron!” Jesus looks at Moses, “Have you forgotten who I am?” Moses says “Fine, here’s your 2-iron.”

So he goes for it. Crack! whishhhh.... Splunk. Straight into the water.

"Dang," says Christ, and he walks down off the tee to retrieve his ball. As Jesus walks out onto the water, two other golfers walk up to the tee where Moses is still standing. “Look at that guy out there standing on the water”, says one golfer to the other “who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?”

“No,” Moses answers, “That is Jesus Christ. He thinks he’s Tiger Woods!”