I went to an adult toy party this weekend....ask me anything...

[BarenakedLady]

:woohoo:

:evilgrin:

:hi:

[crim son]

1. Uh, what's an adult toy?

:shrug:

[Deja Q]

4. Me, naturally!

:evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

8. Let's Play With You Then

:evilgrin:


he he he

[Deja Q]

10. The switch is in the front!

:evilgrin:

[BarenakedLady]

13. Are you quite sure?

:shrug:

Looks more like a lever...


wait don't lock my thread!:rofl:

[Deja Q]

16. !

:spray:

[SPKrazy]

20. A Lever?

I thought it was one of those pull things like for when you pull it and it talks

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

24. !!

:spray: :spray:

"Tickle Me Hypno"?! :wow:

[SPKrazy]

27. Bwaaa Baawwaaahaaa!

tickle me hypno

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

29. Sure, when?

:evilgrin:

[BarenakedLady]

28. Don't look me thread dude! (n/t)

[Deja Q]

31. Okay, we promise to be good and not look.

O8)

[SPKrazy]

33. Don't look where?

oh, lock

IBTL

:rofl:

[crim son]

68. I'd respond but it looks like you and pawpicker

are too busy to hear me :evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

72. I Hear Ya Baby!

:hi:


:rofl:


I can't stop laughing or posting


HELP

[Left Is Write]

7. You know - things like ski boats and sports cars.

:D

[crim son]

70. That's what I was thinking.

The only adult toy I want right now is a qualified plastic surgeon. Oh, and maybe Starbucks Anarchist.

[BarenakedLady]

9. Oh come on now....

Surely you jest. :evilgrin:

[crim son]

74. Well, whaddya think?

I admit I'm not a toy person, though I was intrigued by the GIGANTIC penile reproduction somebody gave my poor daughter for her fifteenth birthday. :crazy:

[BarenakedLady]

80. Well

Desperate times call for desperate measures as they say. ;)

[crim son]

84. After I posted I thought... maybe this is something I should learn about.

Possibly? And I want some pheromones!!! :bounce:

[SPKrazy]

81. Did You Confiscate It?

tell her it was not for her use as she was only 15 and you needed to study it for research purposes?


:shrug:


:rofl:


:spank: me


stop me

[crim son]

88. I couldn't do that, because she would immediately decide

that I wanted it for personal use, and that might make her throw up. Basically I said "Don't let your father know you have that." :D

[SPKrazy]

92. Should have looked to see where it was from

and gone and gotten yourself one

oh, maybe you did!

Would her father want it if he knew she had it?


:shrug:

:rofl:

[crim son]

107. No, I didn't.

I tried to... repair... things with the STBE and it involved experimentation. It's either wonderful or it's miserable and no toy can fix what's miserable IMHO.

[SPKrazy]

110. ...

:shrug:

:hug:

[krispos42]

179. What does STBEmean?

Soon to be ex? Soon to be engaged? Soon to be eradicated?

[crim son]

184. Soon-To-Be-Ex.

Alternatively, Soon-To-Be-Eradicated works too.

[krispos42]

185. Ah, okay. I have one of those, too, then. n/t

[crim son]

186. I'm sorry to hear it.

Even when it's the right thing, it's horrible. :hug:

[krispos42]

189. Yeah, there's an absolutely adorable 2-year-old involved as well

I could tell you the story but it sounds like a soap opera. This from a very boring guy!

[crim son]

190. If you can manage to keep it amicable, then this is not the worst

time to make the break. I have three kids - almost 16, almost 14 and seven. THIS is a shitty time for a divorce and I wish I'd done it when Kira was two... I certainly thought about it. I wish you luck.

[krispos42]

191. Ouch. Well, it is amicable, so that's a bonus.

Good luck!

[krispos42]

187. I updated Wikipedia, as well, so the world may share the bounty of your knowledge n/t

[crim son]

188. Oh, you are Da Bomb!

I love it :)

[krispos42]

181. Sure, sure, give her unrealistic expectations... lmao

[TOhioLiberal]

2. Find something...

...nice? Or naughty?

[BarenakedLady]

22. I found and learned all sorts of things...

*ahem*

:bounce: :bounce:

[SPKrazy]

39. This Thread Is Worthless Without Pics

or at least a narrative about what you learned BNL!





:shrug:

[TOhioLiberal]

45. Bringing more...

...*Ahem* fun into your life?

I've never been to one. I'd probably die of embarrassment.

[Deja Q]

3. Were there free samples?

:evilgrin:

[BarenakedLady]

35. Well I won

a tiny sample of some nip....errr cream that can go on your lips and it is nice and cool. I also won a candy necklace made up of the male anatomy.

[SPKrazy]

46. A Candy Necklace Made Of Male Anatomy?

I guess you mean candy replicas of the male anatomy, not candied male anatomy?

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

52. Better candies than candles...

:yoiks:

[BarenakedLady]

53. Yes, what you said.

I forgot I was wearing it and then we went out clubbing. I wonder if that was why I got hit on for THE FIRST TIME EVAH! Either that or it was the free sample of phermones I put on....hmmmmmmm

[SPKrazy]

59. It Was Just Your Eyes Lady!

I'd hit on you just to look at your eyes!


:hug:

[Deja Q]

48. Sounds lick-worthy...

:D

[BarenakedLady]

65. It does look mighty tasty

I didn't eat it. The trick now is to hide it from my kids...:blush:

[SPKrazy]

97. You'll Find Them

eating them now

:spank: :spank:

no no, those were mommy's phallic candies

:rofl:

[KitchenWitch]

5. Anything peak your "interest"?

:evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

12. Or: Anything "Peak" your interest?

as in "peak" or the apex of the climax

IBTL

:evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

15. Unless she feigned interest...

:yoiks:

:rofl:

[KitchenWitch]

19. Same-same!

:evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

30. Don't Get Grouchy

jest askin'

:shrug:

tryin' to learn a few things here

:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

40. Stop it! (n/t)

[BarenakedLady]

37. Let's just say....

I spent over $100. :evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

6. This Thread Is Worthless Without Pics

show us some pics


:evilgrin:


did you buy anything?

does it have a kick starter?

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

11. I concur

And if anything required kick starting, I definitely want to hear about it ....

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

14. ...

:spray:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I can't fucking breathe now you bastid!

[The Traveler]

36. Well, don't you?

Kick start toys imply a certain ... robustness of function ...

:evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

50. Yessssssss!

I still can't fucking breathe you bastid!


:evilgrin:


:rofl:

[The Traveler]

56. Always a pleasure to be of service ....

Have another drink. Breathe, dude, breathe!

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

60. breathing- breathing- oh god i'm not breathing much

laughing too hard


:rofl:

[crim son]

82. Robustness of function, eh?

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

95. Sounds Like A

freeper toy

they're always saying "robust"

kick start toys are robust though, no doubt about it.


:rofl:

[crim son]

105. The word "robust" is very evocative, in whatever context.

Somebody get me one of those toys!

[SPKrazy]

112. Call 1-800-Get-Toys

:rofl:

might work


:shrug:

[The Traveler]

122. They don't have toys like that

for us guy kids.

:(

[SPKrazy]

126. Don't Forget The Famous

"fleshlight"

I've um seen it um advertised um, somewhere on the internets

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

131. You would

you pervert!

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

133. Yup

Stalker
Perv
Klepto

SPK

:evilgrin:

[The Traveler]

144. You say that like it were a bad thing

Still trying to figure out how you outscored me on the purity test ... :wow:

[SPKrazy]

146. I thought you got 12%

?don't know?

mebbe it's rigged

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

154. 4%

I can't really be THAT impure.

Can I?

Oh, jeeze, maybe I better check in with a good shrink or something.

:hide:

[SPKrazy]

155. Oh, Well Yeah, I'm Purer Than You Are

no doubt about that

:rofl:

[crim son]

136. Sure they do. They're called "women".

:(

[SPKrazy]

140. Now now

women aren't toys

well, some prolly are

but


I should shut up now


:shrug:

[crim son]

141. Just my black humor.

My daughter told me the most horrible, anti-woman joke today. I'd share it, but then I'd be tombstoned.

[SPKrazy]

145. You could

PM it

I can't tombstone you

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

151. Nah

Women are always standing me up to keep dates with something battery operated.

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

152. Bwaaahaaa

BOB

that's who


:mad:

[The Traveler]

159. Yeah ... that copper wound bastid

This calls for strategic countermeasures.

This calls for .... an anti-BOB death ray! So I can get a date sometime! Grrrr.

[SPKrazy]

162. The Anti BOB Gun

an EMP generator would be better

immobilize all BOB's and then the women would want the real deal?

:evilgrin:

[The Traveler]

166. Precisely my thinking

Of course, I realize I am just projecting on electromechanical devices the blame for my own failings in the sphere of romance but that is my god given right as a middle aged American dude and I am sticking to it.

:nuke:

:evilgrin:

[crim son]

160. Oh.

That's too bad. It also reminds me... didn't you meet somebody recently? Somebody too young but sweet?

[The Traveler]

163. Good sense prevailed.

Way too young for me, and I ain't decrepit enough to play "daddy".


:shrug:

[SPKrazy]

164. Send Me her Number

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

167. One emotional catastrophe headed your way

You poor fool.

:rofl:

[crim son]

165. Ah. Sorry, although I'm glad you see it as "good sense".

It probably is. :hug:

[The Traveler]

169. Yeah. She was cool, tho

Damn near swept me off me feet,

[krispos42]

180. I'd be more worried if it required an electric starter

And premium fuel...

[TOhioLiberal]

17. or a Generator!

...Who needs batteries! :rofl:

[Deja Q]

21. Holy AC/DC, Batman!

:wow: :rofl:

[SPKrazy]

25. Perpetual Motion Machine

As long as you are moving, it is generating electricity and needs no batteries?

:rofl:

[TOhioLiberal]

32. Sounds good to me!

...and you don't have to buy dinner beforehand. :thumbsup:

[SPKrazy]

41. Well, Carbing Up Helps

it takes a lot of energy to keep these things running!


:rofl:

[Deja Q]

42. *gasp* "Would ye look at the size of that generator?"

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

49. OMG Its HUGH!!!11111!!11

:rofl:

[zingaro]

54. And are you buying, with the dues from the 12% Club?

:D

'cause I think you could get Board Approval for that expenditure.

[SPKrazy]

61. Oh Yes She Could Zingaro!

you just earned a special position on the board

:evilgrin:

[zingaro]

73. Is there a graphic representation of said position...

...like a bar graph or a pie chart? You know, something to use for reference purposes?

Or should I just use my imagination? :evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

78. Let Me Whisper In Your Ear

psssst psssst psssst

got it?

Okay

now use your imagination on the rest of it!

:evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

79. Oi! Don't psssst in her ear, that's gross!

/foxsitcommoment

[SPKrazy]

Hey Toadie

this is 12% interest stuff we're dealing with here

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

90. OMG, she used a credit card?!

:spank:

They're evil! All pervading... evillllll!

[zingaro]

100. Yeah - what was the motto again?

Give us your tired, your hungry, your 12%...

No, that's not it.

Degeneracy, Debauchery, De...what was the last one again? I can't quite recall.

[SPKrazy]

104. Degeneracy, Debauchery, Delightful?

yeah, that was it

:rofl:


;)

[zingaro]

109. Yeah! Thanks for nudging my

memory.

I owe you one.

:evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

114. You Know That

I will collect...

:evilgrin:

:rofl:

[zingaro]

123. I will count on that.

Yes I will.

:bounce:

[SPKrazy]

127. ...

:loveya:

:evilgrin:

[zingaro]

94. mmmm...Okay. I think I've got it.

Thank god for all those years of yoga or I might end up in the emergency room.

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

106. It's Okay

the yoga is what will save you

now I'm taking it so you can help me with it so I don't end up in the ER too


:rofl:

[zingaro]

116. It's a deal.

And I just read your post from yesterday - I didn't get on yesterday at all - but I still understand.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

119. 'kay

:hug:

[Chan790]

103. Easily...

The board of directors of the <12% club will approve anything...once you bring us the necessary forms in triplicate. To get the forms all you really need is the object in question, a receipt, and a signed approval from the invisible pink unicorn. After that, you'll receive your refund in 4 to 6 years provided we can't find a way to screw you out of it in the meantime.

I mean...cmon, we're evil. :evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

108. Our Leader Has Spoken!

oh great 0%, you rock

I mean

:yourock:


:evilgrin:

[zingaro]

142. wtf? You mean somebody got a 0%?

Wow. I can only bow to such obvious greatness and wonder what I must have missed.

Should I be envious?

This could really be a problem for me.

[SPKrazy]

149. Chan 790 got 0%

he's our leader

at the level we are at, it's all irrelevant.

whether you roast at the middle of the fire, or on the left of center part of the fire, you still get to roast.

we're ready to roast!

:evilgrin:

[zingaro]

170. mmm nice and roasty toasty

at least we'll keep warm.

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

172. Yes, We'll Be Warm

and prolly have lots of fun while we roast

and you know that old story about the boiling frog, if you start it out in cold water and turn up the heat it doesn't even notice it's boiling?

I think it will be like that for us as we roast.

:evilgrin:

:rofl:

[zingaro]

173. I think you're right.

We shall smile til the end.

But I'm drawing the line at the whole frog thing.

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

174. All Right, Leave Out The Frogs

:rofl:

good night

:hug:

[zingaro]

175. amphibious dreams.

:)

[zingaro]

137. Hey, I thought the

invisible unicorn was orange.

And that's a really speedy return time on those refunds. More than adequate, I think. Any problems with it and any complainers could be directed to the sargeant-at-arms, right?

:spank:

Or we could go see him anyway.

Please? Just for fun?

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

143. I Wanna Be The Sgt. At Arms

:spank: :spank:

:rofl:

[zingaro]

148. ooh such a

firm stroking hand.

I may swoon.

[SPKrazy]

150. Swoon!

I can tie you so you won't fall if needed :evilgrin:


:rofl:

[zingaro]

156. You are the kindest and most thoughtful of men.

A prince. A true gentleman. A humanitarian of the highest caliber.

Use something delicate and silky, would you, that doesn't leave marks?

:evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

158. But Of Course!

silk ties for you my lady!

:spank: :spank:

:evilgrin:

[Chan790]

23. Everybody knows the good toys have pull-starters and four-stroke engines..

Did it have a pull-start and/or a four-stroke engine?
Was it made by Briggs and Stratton or Black and Decker?

[Deja Q]

34. *snort*

[SPKrazy]

43. Briggs and Stratton

definitely are the better four stroke IMO

to get into the kick start though, you probably want to go with the two stroke Yamaha model :evilgrin:

[BarenakedLady]

44. I have two pictures...

One of my birthday cake and one of an ice sculpture that was on the table. They were both made out of the same mold. I don't think I could post them. LoL.

[SPKrazy]

55. They Were Phallic?

like shaped like a long stemmed mushroom or something?


:shrug:


:rofl:

[Deja Q]

58. I'd rather think they were innocent; in the shape of Florida or somethin'...

:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

63. Yeah there was a certain...

Theme to the festivities. I also have a pen and a straw with the same appendage. :rofl:

[SPKrazy]

67. Pen and a Straw

same appendage

hmmmmm

an arm?

a leg?


oh, a hmmm hmmm


shhhhhhh (it's a p e n i s?)


:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

75. Shhhhhhhh

You are trying to lock my totally innocent "ask me anything" thread. Evil man!

[SPKrazy]

89. Totally Innocent "ask me anything"

ABOUT an adult toy party thread


:rofl:


I can't fucking breathe again! :rofl:


:spray:


OMG you said "innocent"


:evilgrin:

[BarenakedLady]

113. What?

O8)

[SPKrazy]

115. We are the degenerates (well some of us are here)

of the lounge

we scored 12% or less on the purity scale

our destiny is sealed

hand over your toys, or join us

:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

118. You will never get my toys!!!!

Over my cold dead (albeit very satisfied) body!!!

[SPKrazy]

121. We'd rather have you alive

although there may be someone who is into that? :shrug:

join us

:evilgrin:

we won't take your toys, we just want to learn from you, you are a great teacher for us.
:evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

77. So it's not a nose?

:yoiks:

[bridgit]

18. did you see BOB there...

:blush:

[BarenakedLady]

47. I took Bob with me

So he wouldn't get jealous. :rofl: He's getting to know his new friends.

[SPKrazy]

51. Is He Jealous Of The Kick starter one?

:rofl:


we want to see that one!


:evilgrin:

[bridgit]

57. atta girl, let him know he's still special in a sea competitive high tech improvments...

:thumbsup: :rofl:

[SPKrazy]

62. *snort*

:spray:


:rofl:

quit it bridgit

:rofl:

[bridgit]

101. oh i know...

:woohoo:

[BarenakedLady]

71. Yes and especially since

I had to gut him of his batteries for the new guy. :rofl:

[bridgit]

76. pft...so long BOB, it's been real...

:spray: :rofl:

[SPKrazy]

138. We Should Have A Memorial For BOB

he's been such an intimate part of BNL's life

we should celebrate his freedom

bye BOB

a burial at sea

:shrug:

[bridgit]

147. hahahaha, yea verily here lies BOB, batt-less now though not forgotten...

ker-PLUCK! O8) :rofl:

[SPKrazy]

176. Xactly!

what he needs to pass on to the junkyard

or to the BOB recycle store, second hand BOB's.

:rofl:

[bridgit]

177. ewww, i heard 2nd hand shoes could make you walk like their previous owner...

oh never mind O8)

[SPKrazy]

178. ...

:spray:


:rofl:


ewwwwwww!

[The Traveler]

85. Cold, BNL. Very cold

but practical!

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

87. Batteries run down more quickly in the cold...

It also makes one wonder how the Starship Enterprise never ceases to roam the cosmos...

[The Traveler]

96. Now how did anti-matter containment fields enter

into this discussion?

:think:

Oh. I see. Yes, the implications are ... fascinating.

:evilgrin:

[BarenakedLady]

93. I think I may need to buy a case

I do have something else on back order. :rofl:

[The Traveler]

98. I've always said I admired

your equipment

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

117. Something On Back Order?

is that on your back order, or back order?

didn't catch that there is so much noise in this room.


anyway, either way you need lots of batteries


should have gone with the 2 stroke engine kick startable ones

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

99. Just Took His Life Away

does the new guy perform better than BOB?

of course his name is BOB too, is he BOB 2?

:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

125. I don't know...

yet....:evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

130. Well Get Down To Business

and let us know!

;)



:evilgrin:

[krispos42]

182. Awww, poor Bob... I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing...

or perhaps 'assisting' the new fellow... showing him the ropes with some 'hands on' training...

:evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

26. Wow, this thread sure has exploded!

:spray:


IBTL! :rofl:

[TOhioLiberal]

38. When you bring together...

...BNL and 'adult' toys, of course an explosion is bound to occur!

[SPKrazy]

64. THIS THREAD GOT HUGH!!!1111111

I mean it swelled up and grew really long really fast, and fat too!

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

66. It keeps growing and growing! And we know what that means...

:scared:

[SPKrazy]

69. It's Going To

E X P L O D E


:scared:

take cover



run




run




run




leave it to the pros




:rofl:

[Deja Q]

83. Like you, BNL, this thread is hawt!

:woohoo: :party:

[BarenakedLady]

86. I like you too sweetie

However you and SPK and going to get my very first thread lock, I just know it!

[Deja Q]

91. Well, we could add you and make it a triad...

O8)

[SPKrazy]

102. Awwwwwww

:(

:pout:

[TOhioLiberal]

111. BTW:

:rofl::spray:

[BarenakedLady]

120. I would!

But it would a) lock the thread and b) i haven't gotten them off my cellphone yet. LoL.

[SPKrazy]

124. e mail them to me

I'll post them for you!

:rofl:

[The Traveler]

128. Then you email them to me

and I'll re-post them just in case anyone got lost

:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

134. I'm surprised

That you guys really want pics of my phallic birthday cake and ice sculpture.....hmmmmmmm

[The Traveler]

139. That's not exactly what we had in mind!

:evilgrin: :rofl:

[SPKrazy]

157. NO, We want Pics of you

trying out the products

or anyone trying them out

:rofl:

sure send the cake and ice sculpture :eyes:

then send the other pics too

:evilgrin:

[BarenakedLady]

129. Tomorrow. (n/t)

[SPKrazy]

132. Sure....

:evilgrin:

[TOhioLiberal]

135. LOL!

:rofl:

[Kat45]

153. I used to be the woman conductiing adult toy parties.

It was a lot of fun to sell adult toys at those parties.

[SPKrazy]

161. I Bet It Was

Do they only hire women for this?

I'm thinking career change if not.

:evilgrin:

[Kat45]

168. I think they do. I did it 25 years ago, believe it or not.

[BreweryYardRat]

171. Did they have anything like the gasoline-powered, backpack-mounted "device" from Eurotrip?

I know, I know, the answer's no, but it never hurts to ask.

[6000eliot]

183. What's new in latex?