Non-clinical use of the word "retarded." Offensive?

[Left Is Write]

I think so.

"That movie was so retarded."

"I hate this game. It's retarded."

"You like XXXX restaurant? That's retarded."

I see this word a lot online, including here at DU. I know I am not the only person who finds this offensive. Why is it acceptable? Why don't we call others on the use of this word? Why is it that I have the feeling that if I did call someone on it, their response would be that my attitude is "retarded"?

People sometimes jeer at those sensitive to such language by accusing them of being too "PC." This isn't about PC. It's about trying to reduce language that can be harmful on a fundamental level.

What are your feelings?

[Taverner]

1. I never use it that way

To play devil's advocate - what about the term 'lame'. One can be permanently lame.

[Left Is Write]

8. Yes, there could be any number of words considered offensive...

but "retarded" was the one in particular I wanted to talk about.

(I also don't think "lame" has the strong connotations "retarded" does.)

[Taverner]

14. this is true

[Bunny]

2. I know, I hate to see it used so often, especially here.

I wish more people would pay attention to the harmful impact of the word, but I guess I'm just too PC for some people.

[Spider Jerusalem]

3. I'd say it's as offensive as the similar use of "gay".

And completely unnecessary, given the existence of perfectly serviceable words like "stupid", "idiotic", "moronic", etc.

[Left Is Write]

9. I agree with you about comparable use of the word "gay."

[Kixel]

86. I had a problem with that

I don't know why, but it always came out with a group of my friends and I-all pretty liberal, so it was weird. We switched it up and started calling things hetro instead. It's hard to break those kind of habits, so we did a twist to make it easier! That was several years ago and I still find myself referring to things as hetro.

[idgiehkt]

4. Guilty

food for thought, thanks.

[grasswire]

5. thank you

A member of my family is mildly mentally retarded. There's a lot of pain in her eyes when Jon Stewart used it as a slur.

[Shell Beau]

6. I have to say I have been guilty of saying it. And it is

definitely in bad taste. It is something I had to correct.

[Goblinmonger]

7. I think it is context

On a forum like this--offensive. Several English teachers in my school are all very liberal and we use that term sometimes as satire. Someone overhearing us (which doesn't happen) might not quite get it, but it isn't said to be offensive in that instance.

:shrug:

[Robb]

10. Context

I feel largely the same way. But then there's the 16 year-old autistic kid at my workplace who does filing after school, who calls people retarded all the time. I find those scenes rather uplifting.

Feh. Most "PC" discussion of any enduring value can be summed up thusly: "Don't be a dick." ;)

[Left Is Write]

12. I don't really want to frame this as "PC", which itself has become something of a "slur."

Much like "liberal" is a dirty word.

"Retarded" is a clinical term still in use as such. Using it to insult a person, thing or idea - whatever the context - bothers me.

[graywarrior]

11. Try getting Bostonians to stop saying "you're re-tah-ded"

It's paht of their cultcha.

[bicentennial_baby]

18. Exactly....

I was just thinking that.

Not that it doesn't happen in W. MA, just sans accent. :hide:

[graywarrior]

19. Or Marblehead.

[AlCzervik]

31. we used to say "Yah Hegnah" when "Tahhhd" got old.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hegner

[NC_Nurse]

13. My brother is autistic/MR (mentally retarded)

I always cringe when people use it as an insult.

People who are not retarded and who do stupid things are responsible for their transgressions.

[Okiojira]

15. I don't take any personal offense when someone else uses the word in a non-clinical sense

However, I tend to shy away from using it in a non-clinical sense myself.

Might have something to do with the fact that my BIL is clinically retarded.

[OllieLotte]

37. My Mother grounded me for using the word retarded.

That was over 40 years ago. I don't use the word, but don't really take offense when it is used by someone else.

[petronius]

16. I agree with you, and I don't use the word

It seems that we've been seeing it more around here, which surprises me a bit.

Going off on a bit of a tangent, it's interesting to me that related words like moron and ignoramous, which I believe also used to have clinical meanings, are not as offensive. Perhaps it's because their clinical uses are more archaic, or perhaps they never transitioned into popular (and deliberately hurtful) usage...

[Left Is Write]

20. You know, I think you're right.

I believe "moron" and "idiot" have fallen out of use as clinical terms, though would probably still be correctly defined that way in a strict sense.

[Kat45]

80. When I was a kid, there used to be a lot of "moron" jokes.

Like "Why did the moron throw the clock? Because he wanted to see time fly." It was sort of a category of jokes. But yeah, you rarely hear the word 'moron' these days.

[idgiehkt]

25. there is another one I can't think of right now

I think because people are using DD, or developmentally disabled more, that retarded is becoming more of a insult because it may not even be medical terminology anymore, I don't know.

[terrya]

17. I think it is.

It's wrong on every level.

It's not necessarily the same thing, but I saw some promo for the latest idiotic David Spade sitcom. And one of the lines in the promo he utters was "Oh, dude. It's so gay".

We shouldn't denigrate something because it's "PC". It's called decency. I wish some would realize that.

[IntravenousDemilo]

21. I use it ONLY in the non-clinical context.

I have a brother who is mentally challenged due to a childhood accident. I would never ever ever call him a "retard", but I quite happily use it against Freeper-types -- that is, normally functioning people who do or say boneheaded things or have unbelievably misguided opinions. For me, the non-clinical definition of "retarded" has superseded the clinical one.

[Mojambo]

27. Yeah, I kinda agree with your take. n/t

[bicentennial_baby]

35. interesting take on it...

"For me, the non-clinical definition of "retarded" has superseded the clinical one."


I was just thinking about that tonight. :)

[BlueIris]

22. Yes.

And blech.

[The empressof all]

23. The word is hurtful

It's also deeply offensive to many developmentally disabled individuals and the people who love them. (Many of whom are Democrats btw) In addition it is not a word that clinicians, social workers, MD's or other medical professionals use to describe the people with these kinds of disabilities.

[Midlodemocrat]

45. MDs do use the term 'retarded', but not in regards to cognitive function.

"Grow is retarded", something along those lines...

[The empressof all]

67. In that sense yes

But certainly not to describe someones developmental disability. Personally, I think using the word as a slur comes from ignorance. You know how hurtful that word is to folks who have a hard time already understanding many of the ambiguities of life....

[Shine]

57. Yes, I totally agree with you, empress.

"It's also deeply offensive to many developmentally disabled individuals and the people who love them."

My sister was born profoundly retarded and I feel hurt when people lightly use the word "retarded". It's not funny.

[RetroLounge]

24. I agree. It is offensive.

I retrained a guy at work who always said "that's so gay" about stuff.

I told him I found it juvenile and offensive when he said that. He eventually caught on and stopped. He didn't know he was being offensive until I pointed it out to him. He had just heard that phrase and used it since he was a kid, and really had no idea it would bother anyone...

It's not PC, it about common decency.

I'm with you on this one...

:hi:

RL

[mainegreen]

26. I agree w/Gray Warrior in the sense that its idiomatically ingrained in some areas.

It was *very* hard for me to stop using retarded for that very reason.

[cwydro]

28. I think it is offensive.

I also think it's kind of juvenile to use it, same as using "gay" in that manner.

I worked with people with developmental disabilities for years and believe me, they understand exactly what is meant by that word when used in a derogatory manner.

[Kajsa]

29. Yep, it sure is.

I asked my son( who has autism) if he found it offensive.
His reply was,

"It's the 'N' word for disabled people".

[Oeditpus Rex]

30. What if one is an auto mechanic

and, in tuning one's vehicle's engine, exclaims, "Egad! The timing was retarded 11 degrees!" ? :shrug:

[Left Is Write]

32. I would consider that a legitimate use of the word.

Much like, "I couldn't figure out what was retarding the growth of my chysanthemums."

[Oeditpus Rex]

34. Yup — but you know

somebody'd still probably get in your face over it.

Kinda like "niggardly." :eyes:

[crim son]

33. My son has had to stay after school twice for using the word.

I'm not sure how I feel about that although I didn't take any steps to prevent him from being disciplined. Using "retarded" is like using "gay" - in its colloquial use it is an all-purpose negative that may offend. He didn't mean it that way but because the potential for offense exists, he should find a new word. On the same topic, I was listening to something on NPR the other day, a story about the word "retarded" and how the mentally disabled felt about its use. They were offended, despite the fact that the word means "slowed". The subjects interviewed were also offended by every other suggestion, like "mentally handicapped" or "mentally impaired" or "suffering from developmental disabilities"; IOW, they didn't want to be labelled at all. Words have such power.

[KamaAina]

36. Self-advocates find even the clinical use of "the R-word" offensive

they even succeeded in pressuring the American Association for Mental R... well, you know :-) into changing its name (though not, as yet, its domain)!

http://www.aamr.org/About_AAIDD/name_change_PRdreen.htm

Washington, DC (November 2, 2006)-The American Association on Mental Retardation (AAMR), a 130-year old association representing developmental disability professionals worldwide, has changed its name to the American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (AAIDD), establishing a new standard in disability terminology and making way for a more socially-acceptable way of addressing people with intellectual disabilities. The AAIDD is arguably best-known for officially defining the condition of mental retardation (sic) for the world, and its successful advocacy in abolishing the death penalty for victims with this condition in the United States. The name change will take effect January 1, 2007.

"This new name is an idea whose time has come," says Doreen Croser, Executive Director of AAIDD. "Individuals with disabilities and family members do not like the term 'mental retardation' and their advocacy is encouraging political and social change at national, state, and local levels. Our members demanded that we keep up with times and they voted for this name change." AAIDD members consist of faculty members, researchers, and service professionals working with people with intellectual disabilities in settings such as group homes, institutions, schools, hospitals, private clinics, colleges, and university centers....

The applause from the community of people with disability was unanimous once the name change was announced. "In taking 'MR' out of your name, you've set a precedent for it to be taken out of the classrooms, the doctors' offices, personal case records, and eventually out of the vocabulary of people walking down the street," says Amy Walker of Illinois Voices, a group working on behalf of people with intellectual disabilities.

Now the real battle begins: with what to replace it? "Cognitive disability" and "intellectual disability" are two leading early contenders.

[Left Is Write]

38. That was interesting. Thanks for posting it!

[dysfunctional press]

39. what a retarded question...

take a guess as to my feelings.

if we stopped using EVERY word that SOMEONE found offensive, we wouldn't have much to say.

[LaraMN]

51. What an assinine response.

Try loving someone who is "retarded," in the clinic sense, and see how it feels to hear people randomly tossing around "Reee-tard!" and the like.

I want to punch people when I hear it. It sounds ignorant and juvenile, besides being incredibly hurtful.

[Midlodemocrat]

54. You rock, girlfriend.

:applause:

[dysfunctional press]

60. everybody is offended by something or another...

but seeing as we live in a supposedly free and open society, most of us have learned that words are just that- words...and don't let it bother or get to us. life's too short.

[Left Is Write]

76. Words have power. If they didn't, they'd be just meaningless symbols.

[kmla]

68. I fully agree, Lara.

Assinine is a kind word to describe that response. You practiced great self restraint.

I applaud you.

[Shine]

58. I bet you wouldn't feel this way if you had a beloved family member who was retarded.

:eyes:

Try to have some sensitivity.

[dysfunctional press]

59. it's just a word, and i'll use it as i see fit...

like i said, just about anything can be found to be offensive to somebody, and if we got rid of everything that anybody was offended by- things would be way too bland for my taste.

just my opinion, and i'm entitled to it.

and you're just as free to use or not use whatever words you see fit.

what a country!

[Shine]

62. It's not about "getting rid of everything offensive", it's about being more mindful

of how Language is used and the power it has in shaping social mores.

It's also about being more sensitive to how specific words can be used to hurt other people, even if unintentionally.

It's too bad you don't understand that...but hey, you've got your opinion and I've obviously got mine.

We don't see eye to eye on this one.

[Kajsa]

63. The 'N' word is according to you

just a word too, eh?

[LaraMN]

70. By all means, use it as you "see fit."

And expect disgust, disdain, and wrath in responses that result from your choice to employ a term that degrades a group of human beings, and serves to further negative stereotypes and connotations that hinder their integration into your "free" society.

You use that word, you hurt my son and people like him.

I'm not forgiving OR accepting of that. It is my DUTY not to be.

[William Bloode]

40. I'm sure it is.

I will not let that fact hinder me in it's use though.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

41. A co-worker of mine uses that word all the time.

And it really bugs me.

I wonder about these people sometimes ... whether she knows it or not, she can offend someone by not even directly talking to them. Especially when she the one who messes up all the time and everyone has to help her. I just stay away from her because anyone who uses that word in their vocabulary is assinine.

[youthere]

42. Definitely offensive.

[Kerrytravelers]

43. It is extremely offensive.

And the Special Education kids in my classes over the years have cried when they're teased with that word or they hear it being used as an insult. I'll allow them to define the social meaning of the word for me, just as I have allowed homosexual people to define the social use of the term "that's so gay" as offensive to me and African-Americans to define the social use of the word "nigger" as offensive to me.

Being PC is when you find a satisfying phrase for every term, like "vertically challenged" for short. Not using offensive language because it is hurtful isn't PC, it's being a decent human being.

Thank you LIW for bring this up. I have noticed it too, but have given up voicing any objections to it. I definitely notice it, though.



Edited to add: I have held many kids in at recess to discuss the use of the word retarded.Basically, I tell them until they have a retarded child, they have no idea what they're talking about and how dare they. I don't yell and scream, I simply tell them how offensive it is. Usually, they are shocked. I ask them if they would call me a "Cracker.' They always look surprised and say "no." Normally, this remedies the situation. If it doesn't, they get volunteered to spend time with my special ed kids... that usually took care of any confusion. when they spent time directly interacting with my special little ones, they were able to humanize the word and therefore, since it became attached to an actual living, breathing human being, the word now had a new meaning to them.

[Midlodemocrat]

44. It does bother me. I work a lot with the developmentally disabled.

But, I do think most people, (not everyone) don't mean it to be cruel. Especially here. At least that's what I choose to think.

[BarenakedLady]

46. It makes me cringe

Anytime it is used that way.

[LynzM]

47. Absolutely. No question.

I worked for many summers at a camp for mentally handicapped children and adults. Up until that point, it didn't bother me. Now it does, and I *do* call people on it.

[HuffleClaw]

48. i hear people use 'gay' in that context far more than 'retard'

and both are clearly offensive

[LaraMN]

50. I think it depends on which word draws your attention more.

I HATE hearing "gay" used as an insult, but being hyper-sensitive about the word "retard(ded)," honestly, I note hearing that word more.

[LaraMN]

49. I hate it. (That's a sore spot for me, for obvious resaons, but...)

I absolutely hate it.
And it isn't used in reference to people with developmental delays much, anymore (at least in my experience.)

The word became owned by the lexicon of insult at some unspecified point, and became largely avoided (medically) because of the connotations associated with it.

I'm sure it's just a matter of time until "you're so disabled," becomes the new "you're so retarded."

:eyes:

[El Fuego]

52. The word "retarded" used to be a nice euphemism for other labels.

Now it's an insult. So they started calling mentally-challenged children "special", now that's an insult too. It's interesting how language evolves.

[Burma Jones]

53. It's one of the words banned from our house

[Shine]

55. I have a profoundly mentally retarded sister, so yes, I find it offensive

when the term "retarded" is used as a diss on someone or something. And I have called people on it, too.

It's definitely NOT OK in my book. :thumbsdown:

[Madspirit]

56. Yes

I have a friend with a mentally retarded son and she finds it extremely offensive. That's enough for me.
Madspirit

[Catfight]

61. Because of this string on DU, I have vowed to never use the word again.

I used it here and there, but actually, after reading these responses, I'm 'stupid and moronic,' to use it ever again. Also, I figure anything that Sarah Silverstein says should not come out of my mouth, she's just wrong.

[Kerrytravelers]

64. Thank you so much.

That's what I love about the people who frequent DU. We're all here to learn and grow.

Catfight, you're fucking awesome! :bounce: :bounce:



Edited to fix emoticon!

[Kajsa]

66. Hi Kerrytravelers!

This is so great!

Now, if more people saw how hurtful some of these *&^% expressions are,
they would not use them!

:hi:

[Kerrytravelers]

69. Hi Kajsa!

:hi:

Exactly. I use to say retarded all the time. Then I started working with the Special olympics when I was a teen. Changed my perspective... and my vocabulary.

[Kajsa]

77. I just knew we had something

else in common! I couldn't put my finger on it.

Now I know what it is.
:hug:

[Kerrytravelers]

78. I have worked extensively with Autistic children.

Autism and Down's are the two I work with the most, followed by the Emotionally Disturbed children who've been abused. Or, I did. I had some burn-out and still work in education, but not directly with children anymore.

:hug: right back at 'ya!

:hi:

kt

[Kajsa]

65. Good for you ,Catfight!

As my son( HS Autism) would say,

" You Rock!"

:7 :yourock:

[ThomCat]

71. I don't use it. I think it definitely shows a lack of respect.

If someone uses it several times in front of me I say something. I also tend to distance myself from people who use "that's so retarded" or "that's so gay." They're not the type of people I want to hang out with.

[Zhade]

72. My uncle is mentally retarded - yes, it is.

NT!

[Orsino]

73. It's the most cowardly of slurs...

...insulting those least able to defend themselves. It's particularly offensive when used even more broadly as a synonym for "bad."

[Dastard Stepchild]

74. I think that even clinically it is insensitive....

I know that it is a term that has been used in the past, but the historical context is precisely why it should be reconsidered. I'd like to think we have advanced to the point where we can welcome those with cognitive impairments into the community fold and see them as an asset, not a liability.

[trof]

75. Retarded only proper when referring to throttles.

"The pilot retarded the throttles."

[QMPMom]

79. I find it *very* offensive. My daughter is mentally handicapped

and it really angers me when people use the word retarded to describe something or someone as stupid or ignorant.

My daughter may be mentally handicapped/retarded, but she is not stupid or ignorant.

People that use the word retarded in a derogatory manner are ignorant.

[wildhorses]

81. i think that, just as with ALL words, you have to know the context

sometimes it is not so much WHAT is said as HOW it is said:shrug:

[Schema Thing]

82. Wouldn't "stupid" and "dumb" and "fuckwit" also then

be just as offensive?


I find that whenever I call anyone these things, while I have to admit that I'm being offensive, I am tacitly saying, out of frustration, that "you are not any of these things, so why are you acting as if you are". If I think someone is truly mentally handicapped, I take great pains not to hurt them.

[Left Is Write]

83. No, because those words don't have the strong connotations that "retarded" does.

Although if you want to go strictly speaking, dumb and stupid aren't synonymous.

I'm sure you wouldn't deliberately try to hurt someone with cognitive disabilities, but how do you suppose such a person feels when hearing the word "retarded" used as a descriptor for something negative and bad?

[Schema Thing]

87. I think they have stronger connotations than "retarded"

"retarded" is a clinical term, no one thinks retarded people can just-wise-up.

However, as "dumb" "stupid" and even "retarded" are all a matter of degrees, and open to not a small amount of interpretation, I take your point.

[hibbing]

84. yes

I love DU because of this type of discussion, good to get different perspectives, i.e. Boston, and others who don't find it offensive. My mother was a special education teacher and I had a handicapped brother. I cannot stand the use of the word used as an insult. For starters in demonstrates a real lack of insult creativity, and to me it is also at the expense of others.

peace

[SPKrazy]

85. It's Usually Used In A Way That Is Offensive

"how retarded"

"you retard"

even clinically it isn't the most precise word always, sometimes it might be used to describe a degree of retardation, such as "profound mental retardation" but you don't hear people really saying "oh they are a retard"

I think it is over used in the general verbage of most people without thinking of how it might be offensive to someone with a handicapped child,etc.

:shrug:

[momophile]

88. wasn't allowed to say it as a child and still don't say it

my dad worked with mentally disabled people for a while when I was a kid and it was explained to me early on that 'retarded' was not to be used in a disrespectful way.