Is email a good way to tell a girl......

[45th Med]

you like her and to ask if she feels the same? Is it a good way to ask a girl if they're interested in a relationship?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. The one you have been seeing?

The mom?

[45th Med]

8. I don't think she is interested in me.

I haven't heard from mom in 2 weeks, I've left a couple messages to call me but haven't had any return calls so I don't think she is interested anymore.

My past friend from High School in Germany has been in touch with me, says she wanted to see each other more. Anyway, I was seeing her before but she had a seasonal job that kept her busy for the past 6 weeks, she just finished her seasonal job and contacted me on New Years Eve. We had dinner this Sunday to get back in touch, so she has left the door open to see each other this weekend for dinner.

Just so there isn't a misunderstanding, I'm not in a physical relationship with either of them but I am looking for a relationship of some kind to progress.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

20. Then send her some flowers..there is nothing romantic

about an email. Flowers communicate it all without words and her response will tell you what is there.

You are a great guy...ROMANCE her!

[Randi_Listener]

2. Will you go out with me?

Check this box for YES

Check this box for NO

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

3. Whatever happened to the box for " maybe " ?

:hi:

[Randi_Listener]

6. Cut n Dry

I always wanted my answers straight up no chaser.

[Guaranteed]

7. Good call...

if you're gonna ask, don't let em bullshit ya.

[Guaranteed]

4. Never tell a girl that.

Don't ever talk like that, in fact, unless you're well into a committed relationship. You'll just make each other uncomfortable.

If you like her, put the moves on her...start out with a little sexual flirting/innuendo kind of stuff...see how she responds to it. It'll be positive if she's into you.

[45th Med]

12. She lets me kiss her on the cheek, lol.

That is as physical as it has gotten. I got her a CD for X-mas, Les Nubian....a sister act of French Hip Hoppers.

[Guaranteed]

13. Yeah...

Man...don't start talking mushy mushy yet...

You gotta try out some physical stuff, first...get her in bed. Leave the mush for later, or things are going to get uncomfortable.

I know it's tough to do, but I'm telling ya: asking her something like that is the rough equivalent of asking to touch her boob. Except that you're not trying to touch her boob. It doesn't come off, well, very strong.

Just have a few drinks, flirt with her, throw her down on the couch, go to town. ;)

[45th Med]

16. Damn, I'd just as well be happy with a nice kiss on the lips! ; )

Or makeout session. I don't really do the whole seduction thing.

Sounds nice tho!

[Guaranteed]

17. Making out works.

Just get at least a good amount of physical attraction stuff out of the way before you get mushy.

[Dogmudgeon]

21. My own favorite "technique"

I make my compliments more sexual.

Even overtly sexual, in a non-threatening way.

"Gee, Susie, for an intellectual, you sure have a great ass!"

"Let's park outside St. Sebastian's Church and make hot monkey love."

"You know, we're wasting valuable nookie time talking about this movie."

The "trick," if there is one, is to let her know you have the hots for her without making her feel like you're a needy milksop who can't live without her love.

That's what women really hate -- needy, weak men. And there's nothing that says "I'm a needy, weak men" than to be honest about your feelings before a good romp in the hay.

If you can't fuck her into a state of happy delerium, at least let her know that you think she's worth the effort.

And if she says no, find someone else pronto and let her know she's still special in your book -- just not quite as special as your current inamorata.

Good luck.

--bkl

[prolesunited]

24. You ARE being sarcastic,

right? If not, are you guys actually having success with these "techniques"? What type of women are responding to them?

[Guaranteed]

29. LOL right on

You hit the nail on the head.

[prolesunited]

22. Please do NOT follow this advice

Speaking as a woman, I would be MUCH more impressed if you told you that you liked me and hoped we could pursue some sort of relationship and move on from there — just make sure it sounds like you're interested and would like to see if something is there, not that you want to move in with me tomorrow.

Don't do it by e-mail. Face to face is best, but if you need some anonymity, the telephone would suffice. If all else fails, find an appropriate greeting card and write your own message and leave it along with flowers. Good luck!

BullGooseLoony, I'm not sure what types of women that you've been involved with that your approach has worked. Contrary to your approach, most of us don't want to be dragged by our hair to your cave to be "taken."

[Guaranteed]

30. LOL!!

NO no no....I'm not for the dragging by the hair.

Look, all I'm saying is that he doesn't want to be "asking permission" for things...he's got to actually try it, and if she goes with it, she goes with it...if she doesn't, welp, like BKL said, let her know that she's a real sweetie, but you're gonna have to ramble on...

[POed_Ex_Repub]

5. Go for a face to face talk

Most women I know seem to prefer that approach.

[Fridays Child]

10. That's because they all liked you, you hottie.

;-)

If there's really no connection happening for a woman, email is an easy way for her to say "no thanks."

On the other hand, if 45th Med has a pretty good feeling that she's interested in him, face-to-face is the way to go. Much more romantic than email, you know?

[45th Med]

11. lol, me too!

I emailed her to invite her out for dinner this weekend, we talked about it yesterday (Sunday) over a Bombay (indian) dinner.

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. No

Handwrite a note if you must send her something, and make it something that applauds her good qualities - don't send a questionnaire.

The best way to inquire if she's interested in a relationship is not to ask "Are you interested in a relationship?" becuase that's too loaded and off-puttish, but to say to her, "You excite me (in some such way), I would like to go out for a coffee/dinner/movie/whatever?"

If you're already well into a relationship that isn't quite official and an official status is what you are looking for, you need to then say "I love my being with you and I want to spend more time with you - can I monopolize your free time for the next few months?"

or something like that.

You can do some of this in e-mail, but you will score HUGE brownie points if it's a handwritten note; especially if it's with a fountain pen, on some seriously good paper (like a good handmade amalfi, for instance), not some cheesy store bought pre-printed hallmark swill. Envelope should be hand-addressed, though hopefully you will find a way to slip the letter into her bag or on her desk or whatever/wherever (I don't know if you're in school, in workplace, met casually outside any place, etc.).

IMO.

[45th Med]

14. Expand on the "well into a relationship that isn't quite official" angle..

This is where I am at.

We are both grads from a High School in Germany that just so happened to end up in the same metropolitian area. I am her sisters ex-boyfriend from High School (nothing serious) and I'm very interested in her. But, I want to know where I lie.....if the feelings are mutual. I'd like for our relationship to progress.

We've been back in touch off and on for the past 5 years. Just this September we got back in touch at our 10 year High School Reunion and we've been seeing each other on a limited basis.....only 4 times in the past 3 months. But we email each other weekly or more.

[Rabrrrrrr]

18. then go with face to face or a handwritten note

Sounds like you indeed have some questions that need to be answered before possibly wasting a year or whatever on a relationship that she doesn't want. But I don't know her, nor do I know you, nor do I know all the details (and had you offered all the info in this last post of yours in the first post, that would have been mightily helpful).

Generally speaking, if you keep asking her out and she keeps saying yes (and she isn't just a selfish freeloading shrew), that means she's interested in you.

But, it appears that the not knowing is bothering you, so you need to know. Ask her. But don't do it in email.

[jonoboy]

15. why not..easier for her as well

[dfong63]

19. email is not the best medium

imho you need two-way communication at this delicate stage. email is one-way. it's not interactive. you can't get feedback, respond to her cues, or "feel her out" via email.

[45th Med]

23. Punt! For the morning crowd.

[TXlib]

25. It's not the best way, but if you're painfully shy, it might be

the best for you.

I'll give the standard advice I give:

Never wait until you are totally hung up on a woman to ask her out; she'll sense your desparation and say no. Always ask her out the moment you notice her. If you get shot down then, it doesn't hurt, and you know then that she's not interested.

Always make the first date request for a mini-date (i.e. - a commitment of 15-20 minutes) on neutral ground, such a request should occur when the mini-date can immediately follow, rather than be scheduled. Ask her to join you for coffee, not dinner or a movie.

Project confidence, but not arrogance. Ask as though you expect her to say yes: "Hey, I'm going to get some coffee. Come with me!" If she demurs, just say, "OK, some other time, then!"

If she says no to your invite, ask again no more than once, at least a week later; you don't want to become a pest. Let your second (and last) invitation be an open invite. She knows you're interested, and will take you up on the open invite later if she wants to.

If you or she is particularly shy, make the mini-date a small group outing.

[Loonman]

26. The absolute worst that could happen

She could say: no, she's not interested.

No big deal.

[commander bunnypants]

27. No email

Flowers, a card. Be there physically. and let her know.


DDQM

[regularguy]

28. Nah.

The process of repeatedly picking up the phone, dialing half of her number and then hanging up in a panic is character building! :) Anyway, my 2 cents is to avoid conversations about "The Relationship" for as long as possible. Cheers.