Whom are you missing this Christmas?

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

Short day here at work - just moved back to our floor and settling into new cubicles. My iPod has been commandeered and placed on a coworker's speaker system, as I'm the only one with Christmas music on my iPod. Sitting here listening to what I feel is rather melancholy stuff from Gloria Estefan, and even the Charlie Brown Christmas music gets me down too.

I was just thinking that 24 years ago today my dad had a heart attack and spent what turned out to be his last Christmas in the hospital. His doctor made a house call and drove him to the hospital while we followed in Mom's car. I'm thinking a lot about Dad and Mom today, as they died in 1983 and 1987, respectively. Also missing my sister Sara, who died in 2001. I envy the people who still have their parents and intact families.

Which family members, friends and pets are you missing this Christmas? I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[San Diego]

1. Most of all, I miss my friend Ted.

He died of cancer on March 11th.

He was my best friend and I sorely miss him.

:cry:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

2. I'm so sorry - what kind of cancer?

And welcome to DU.

[San Diego]

3. He had malignant melanoma of the mesentary.

On January 20th, they found a football-sized tumor in his abdomen and two smaller ones in his chest cavity. They initially thought it was lymphoma.

A biopsy showed that he had malignant melanoma.

He died 49 days after the initial diagnosis.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

5. That stuff can be so nasty

I used to live in Wichita and was a huge Wichita Wings indoor soccer fan. One of the former Wings died in September of malignant melanoma which was very aggressive. At least your friend is no longer suffering, although that's of cold comfort to you, I'm sure.

[Auggie]

4. Everybody

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

6. Well, Merry Christmas from me!

:hug:

[bridgit]

7. my daddy & brother Willy...

:cry:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

9. I'm sorry

Here's a :hug:

[bridgit]

14. thanks DTBK...

:hug: and a happy high holidays to'ya :hi:

[Lars39]

8. mom

Dad's in the hospital now...had a stroke the 8th. :cry:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

10. Bless your heart

Take care - I hope all will be well. :pals:

[Pool Hall Ace]

11. I miss my cool Democratic mother, who passed away in 2001.

I'm concerned about my brother, who is having an outpatient procedure today. He's supposed to be here for Christmas, but I think his arrival is going to be a little late. You'd think I could recall his DU name as I just got him a star, but I can't!

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

17. My mom was a cool Democratic mother, too

Her values have certainly rubbed off on me and my sister, Bullwinkle925. Hope all goes well for your brother. :hug:

[rbnyc]

12. Aunt Judy.

My Aunt Judy killed herself over 20 years ago. So many things have changed since then. It's so hard to regret something that's not yours to regret, but I will always regret that she never could muster enough hope just to last, just to bide the time and be shown that things change, that lives can completely turn around, that things that once seemed like everything can shrink until they don't mean anything. I always wonder what she would think of her life and all the incredible changes she'd been through, if she'd just had enough of a sense of possibility to endure--to just wait.

I wish she could see her daughter now. I wish she could see my dad. I wish she knew my dad's wife. I wish she knew my husband and my son. I wish she were warm and surrounded by her own new friends and her home filled with things that are meaningful to her. I wish she had the life that was just waiting for her.

Suicide is so abhorrent. I do have sympathy for those who are depressed, and I think that suicide prevention and intervention are so important. And I understand having self destructive feelings, I know how difficult it is to gain perspective from that place. But as I've said before, when my Aunt killed herself, she also killed my father's sister, and my cousin's mother, and my son's Great Aunt, and her best friend's best friend, and a whole possible universe--a whole world that would have been moved by her influence in a different direction.

I miss her. She's missed everything.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

23. I'm very sorry - that must be so awful to live with

Fortunately we've had no suicides in our family (that I know of). It would be hard not to be angry about it. Take care. :hug:

[Mad_Dem_X]

47. I feel you

I feel the same way about my cousin. He's been gone for five years, and I still wonder at times how things would have turned out if he had just held on for another day...

[Ariana Celeste]

13. My mom and bro. Was supposed to see them soon but now can't

Can't leave the state, have to put all $ towards a lawyer. Was gonna see them in January, but now.... gonna be a damned lonely Christmas, just me and the SO. I'm grateful to have him, and vice versa, but... sigh.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

26. I know - it's just not complete, is it?

I hope whatever you're dealing with works out to your benefit. Take care. :pals:

[Tyler Durden]

15. My late Dad.

A prince among men. Knew exactly the right thing to say to make you glow with pride, or carefully re-think your plan.

The last person in my family I was on good terms with. Via con Dios, Padre.

[Ariana Celeste]

16. ...

:hug:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

27. That's a lovely tribute

:pals:

[BOSSHOG]

18. Mom, Dad, Stepmom, Father in Law

All have left us. My father in law died on Christmas Day two years ago. He was my hero, fought in WWII, wonderful man. Dad died two years ago too. Mom died when I was eleven, 40 years ago, not a day goes by that I don' think of her. I was lucky that Dad remarried a very wonderful person. I'm also lucky to have a wonderful wife who puts up with me. Merry Christmas to all.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

29. I know what you mean about thinking about your parents

Must have been hard to grow up without your mom, but I'm glad you had a loving stepmother. :hug:

[laylah]

19. My beautiful daughters,

DU's "own" Kaghime and her younger sister, (my "WAIT 'TIL YOU HAVE KIDS OF YOUR OWN" child). This will be the first Christmas since they were born that I will be without both of them during this Holiday season. :cry:

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all.

Jenn

[rbnyc]

20. I'm so so sorry.

I know there's nothing anyone can do or say...

:(

Hang in there. You'll be in my thoughts and in my heart. I'm so sorry about your girls.

[laylah]

51. What a dear...

thanks for your thoughts. It will be blue Christmas for this "tough old bird" as kaghime calls me but I will be just fine.

A very blessed holiday season to you and yours, rbnyc.

:hug:

Jenn

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

28. Awww - I'm sorry

:hug:

[laylah]

52. Thank you so much

for the hug. We can never get/give too many of those, can we?

All will be well and I appreciate your response.

:hug: A blessed holiday season to you and yours, DTBK.

Jenn

[Bullwinkle925]

21. I miss my Mother, 2 Step-Fathers and Sister, My Grandmother and Brother-In-Law ...

Just as you do, DTBK! And, of course I'm missing my sister and her husband in Irving. Sigh.
Have a Wonderful Christmas and Fantastic New Year!

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

22. Hey - thanks for the gift!

I'm searching for a tiny photo of Sara to put in it. Mujeeb yelled at me for "banging" it down on my little mirrored vanity tray, when all I did was set it down lightly!

[Bullwinkle925]

25. Aarrghh. You're so welcome.

I'm just thrilled that you're over that pesky BAR thingy.
At least in Texas!!!
Brighton puts out Breast Cancer bracelets every year. I'm trying to collect them all.
I love you!!

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

31. Love you too, BSE!

[tinfoilinfor2005]

24. My mom. I can't even read the other "mom" posts

because I would cry. Oh, there I go anyway.
:cry:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

30. Sorry to make you cry - Merry Christmas

:cry: :loveya:

[tinfoilinfor2005]

41. Thanks for the hearts. Better now.

Merry Christmas to you too. :hug:

[auntAgonist]

32. my Mum. n/t

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

34. Here's to Mum!

:cry: :pals:

[Callalily]

33. My Mom, who

passed away quite some time ago, my former b/f whom I gave up a couple months ago (complicated, please don't ask), and my cat who passed away yesterday.

Sending hugs and blessings to all.

:hug:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

35. Here are some more hugs for you

:hug: :grouphug:

[Callalily]

38. Thank you so much!

Today I need extra hugs. And here's one for you

[Mad_Dem_X]

36. Two people:

My cousin Curt, who took his own life in August of 2001; and
My friend Jeff, who died this past summer from an accidental overdose.

Two young men, who passed before their time. :cry:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

39. Nothing's more poignant than people dying young

I'm sorry for your losses. Merry Christmas. :hug:

[greatauntoftriplets]

37. My mother, who had a heart attack one year ago tonight.

She died six days later, at age 93. And she was with it up until the end.

Also, my father, who died 14 years ago in July.

On edit: Andy Stephenson, who spent his last Christmas with my family two years ago.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

40. So December 22nd is also sad for you?

I'm sorry for your losses. Merry Christmas. :loveya:

[greatauntoftriplets]

42. Thanks.

:hug:

[judaspriestess]

43. my kitty cat

I miss my baby every day. I look at his beutiful urn and wish he was still here.

I've got my other pets, my Mom and my fiance. We all live together and we are very happy. All that is missing is my brother. Who I am working on getting him here to Vegas asap.

[Broken_Hero]

44. everyone

old friends, family....

[derby378]

45. All of my grandparents

My last grandmother died in 2003, and she had stated in her will that she wanted me to be one of her pallbearers at her funeral in eastern Texas. I couldn't honor that request, though, because my wife was in a San Antonio hospital due to a life-threatening illness - no family or friends down there, just me.

[Jimbo S]

46. My grandma

Every other year we would make the 2.5 hour trek up north on Christmas Eve to the grandparents' and spend the night and Christmas day there.

Grandma had a stroke in December I believe '93 and things weren't the same after that. Then we just went up and back the same day. No more Christmas Eves or waking up Christmas morning. She passed on 12/30/04.

[photogirl12]

48. I miss my grandma.

She passed away 6 years ago from breast cancer.

[flamingyouth]

49. I always miss my grandparents, first and foremost.

I miss my friends who have passed over the years - too many to name individually, but I think of my friend Molly who had a massive heart attack two years ago on Christmas Eve and died a few days later at age 35. She was one of the nicest people you could ever meet.

And my SO is down in Texas with his family for the next few days. It's hard to be away from him right now because I've been going through a rough time lately.

[distantearlywarning]

50. My nice boy kitty.

Died in late August after a month's worth of very expensive diagnostic tests to find out why he was refusing to eat. We finally found out it was some kind of stomach ulcers. The day before he was supposed to go on meds to fix the problem for good, I came home from work and found him on the floor. He looked very peaceful, like he'd been having a nap and just went in his sleep. He had a heart murmur, and I guess all the stress and malnutrition finally did him in. :cry: I don't begrudge all the money (that we couldn't really afford + the week of vacation that we were supposed to have but had to stay home instead and feed him), but dammit, why'd he have to go and die anyway after all that??? And he was only 8 years old...

My husband and I cried all the way to and back from the cremation place. My husband has become teared up about it at least 6 times since them, like we'll find a bit of his fur while cleaning, or see his favorite toy in the box or whatever.

Then I cried listening to Christmas carols last week and realizing that he wouldn't be with us this Christmas.

It was terrible. All this grief over a dumb old cat. But we really loved him. He was a great kitty, very loving and friendly. The cremation lady said that people often grieve harder over their pets than relatives, because you can love a cat unconditionally and wholeheartedly. There are no "buts" or confused emotions standing in the way of your relationship with them, so when they go, it's just pure and total loss.

We bought a beautiful 24 Karat gold filigree box Christmas ornament this year, and I made a little velvet bag to put inside it. We put some of his fur and ashes inside the bag and sealed it up and put it on the tree. Now I feel like we have something to remember him by.

:cry: :cry: :cry:

"Sense of joy fills the air
And I daydream and I stare
Up at the tree and I see
Your star up there..." - Sarah McLaughlin, Winterson