No, Eloise, there is no Better Business Bureau for crack dealers

[jmowreader]

Oh God. This is one of those stories which we MUST preface with the usual warning: this is no shit.

You ever notice sometimes you look at someone doing something just...totally fucking stupid...and you think to yourself, "that person has got to be on crack or something"? Well, this person really was.

Eloise Reaves of Fayetteville, NC, was recently (and may still be) in Hawthorne, Florida. According to the Fayetteville Observer, she bought some crack, decided she didn't receive proper value for money, and decided to file a complaint against the dealer.

Now where ya gonna go? Well...since there's no real formal procedure set up for handling complaints against drug dealers, she did what any good patriotic Fayetevillian would do: She went to the police.

Yup, she saw a Putnam County sheriff's deputy at a convenience store, went up to him, told the cop that the dealer had sold her some bad crack, and pulled a rock out of her mouth.

Yes, friends, that's right: She pulled a rock of crack out of her mouth and set it in front of an Officer Of The Law so he could test it to see if it was any good.

He did so. He found that it tested positive for cocaine--unfortunately for Ms. Reaves, the cops don't have any way to test crack for quality, but they do have this Statute Against Owning Any Crack. So he threw her stupid ass right in jail where it fucking belongs on Simple Possession charges. $1504 in bail later, she's a free woman.

It is possible to do stupider things than that. It ain't easy.

[MrCoffee]

1. man, now all the cops are gonna want their jobs to be this easy.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

2. There was a woman who did the same shit on COPS a while back.

She went to buy crack from this woman, she said, the lady took her $20 bill, and then didn't give her any crack. She waved down a cop who was driving by and told him what happened. The lady who allegedly took the money denied having any money, the other lady was adamant. The cop made the other lady leave, and the lady who allegedly took the money went in to the house.
Funnily enough, even though she denied everything, the house was busted for CRACK a few weeks later.
Duckie

[skygazer]

3. Reminds me of the idiots in Vermont several year ago

Who thought the chambermaid at the hotel had stolen their pot so they called the police. Who found the pot and arrested them both. :eyes: