Vent: My GF's family giving her grief for NOT doing Christmas anymore!

[RiverStone]

For most of my adult life, the only holiday I've observed with any ritual has been Solstice. Observing the "coming of the light" has ancient origins and is traced back to Neolithic times some 10,000 years ago (give or take). I feel a connect with the ritual and the simple gifts, candles, and other earth based celebrating that happens with Solstice around the holidays. Thats just me. I'm a real believer of to each his/her own and that applies to ANY holiday that one wants to observe (or not) this time of year.

I've been in a relationship for about 2 years with a wonderful woman (non-practicing Catholic). So she of her own accord decided to NOT do Christmas this year. She and I still went to her family's celebration last weekend, but she really wants to simply not buy into the commercialism/gift giving notion anymore. She informed her BIG family (2 sisters, 1 bro & all other assorted relatives/kids/cousins) that with all due respect, she is opting out of Christmas from here on out. It held no further meaning for her - so, she and I heading up to the mountains to enjoy a quiet cabin and soak in beautiful hot springs on Christmas day itself.

OMG has she gotten grief from her siblings! Her brother keeps calling her a freak, her sister whining about not exchanging a zillion presents with all the kids (my GF has 2 kids and her siblings all have many kiddos). What's weird is my GF's two kids are totally cool with their mom's change of Holiday heart - but many in her family are trying to lay their holiday guilt trips on her.

Of course, even though her shift was entirely of her own choosing - comments have been made as to my (probable) influence and folks just don't GET IT! Why can't people live and let live? She is thrilled with her choice and has never felt more content or relaxed this time of year.....

Just venting to the understanding crowd at DU!

Happy Holidays to all who celebrate anything (or not)!

:party: :grouphug: :pals:

[azmouse]

1. Make a stand and don't give in to them.

And have the best holiday season of your life!! :hi:

[SoyCat]

2. I'm an atheist but still have to do the gift-giving thing. I love any excuse to give presents to

people I love but HATE that I'm virtually forced to do it for my in-Laws who really couldn't care less if I live or die.

Let me live vicariously through you and you girlfriend; don't give in.

[SOteric]

3. If they're usually reasonable people, give them time

Change of something that has played so large a part of family traditions for so many generations doesn't typically happen smoothly, easily and swiftly.

If they're not usually reasonable people, she probably saw this coming and all you can do is support her while she weathers the storm.

P.S. If she loves and respects you, the chances are you have had an influence on her decision. Though, I'm sure you haven't been twisting her arm or encouraging her to change. It's hard not to be influence by the example of people we love and admire.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. I have a couple issues with this:

1) It's a quibble, but an important quibble - one does not "do" Christmas. One either observes Christmas or does not observe it. Exchanging gifts at Christmas is not "doing" Christmas - it is exchanging gifts. Christmas is a religious holy day for Christians; the gift giving, tinsel, trees, cookies, family gatherings, etc., are all social and cultural artifacts that are, in some ways, inspired by the holiday (but in most ways, inspired by pagan rituals; though also in some few ways, purely cultural artifacts), but are not part of the religious holy day. As I said, though, it's a minor quibble, and stands nowhere in volume with the issue I have with your GF's family.

2) Your GF's family sound they don't have a clue what Christmas is about, and are part of the many who have bought into the idea that Christmas is ALL about giving gifts and making family feel guilty for exerting their independance, or wishing to hold solely to the true meaning of Christmas, which is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, the messiah of the Christian faith.

And thus, I have many issues with your GF's family. It's too bad that they feel the need to whine and make her feel bad just because she doesn't buy into all the social/cultural crap that comes with Christmas. It's all crap that I find to be fun, but I would never deride anyone for choosing to remain pure about the holiday; or, if not trying to remain pure, not buying into all the guilt, the urge to overdo everything, and the other problem aspects of the way that we, in America, have slowly chosen to celebrate Christmas.

I support your GF, and I hope she can find a family that is a little less clueless about what matters in life.

[RiverStone]

5. Thank You.

I'll share your supportive and wise words with her.

Cheers~

[redqueen]

6. Well, some are understanding.

And some are just assholes.

:hi: