Just in time for Christmas: How to be a good customer, a retail rant from LeftyMom.

[LeftyMom]

If you decide you don't want something, put it away where you found it. If you leave it wherever, somebody will waste time they could spend on something better putting it away.

Plan for delays. It's Christmas- there are only so many parking spaces, carts, cashiers and registers.

Don't show up to do a return at 1:40 and tell me to hurry up so you can pick the kids up from school at 2:00. The register (and the person working it) only go so fast, whether you budgeted time well or not.

Learn to use the phone. Make your request clear, distinct and fast so I can help your or get you to the correct department and get back to helping people in the store. Do not call with vauge descriptions of items "I was looking for a certain Barbie. The box was pink and she had a fancy outfit on." (Actual quote.)

No, we do not have the PS3 or the Wii. Stop asking.

Flush.

If the kids are sick, leave them home. Nobody wants to clean up the vomit when your little angel tosses her cookies in front of the door.

Keep track of your kids, sparkly things and valuables. Especially the kids.

Do not call and ask for the toy department. It's a toy store. Everything that isn't the bathroom is the toy department.

Nobody here gets paid enough to be your Mom. Don't make messes and leave them.

Don't jump the line. It's rude, and the other customers yell at us when you get away with it.

Bring the right car the first time. You can't fit a Power Wheel box into a sedan.

Feel free to complain about the employees. Don't expect anybody to get fired a week before Christmas unless they shoot a customer. And not in the arm or leg, because that's less painful than our staffing situation.

[evlbstrd]

1. I, for one, try always to treat retail employees with courtesy.

Sometimes I even teach them to make change.

[haf216]

2. AMEN AMEN!

from another person living in retail Christmas hell.

[LynzM]

3. Love and hugs, LM

My hat's off to you for being able to deal with this. I, for one, would be... well, grumpy, to say the least. Some of us out here try very hard to be kind and courteous to retail staff, having been there ourselves (or just being kind people), but it sucks so much that the holidays seem to bring out tbe bitchy dumbass in most people.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Oeditpus Rex]

4. But isn't bitchy dumbassery

what the holidays are all about? :shrug:

[LynzM]

5. Lately, seems like it....

I could stand to go back to the holiday season being about spending time around a fire with some ale and making some music with friends and family, for sure, though. x(

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. Yeah, when your biggest worry

was finding the one bad bulb on the tree that made all of 'em go out. :(

[blondeatlast]

24. "Bitchy dumbassery." What a perfect term for GD...

:rofl:

[SeattleGirl]

6. You have my sympathies, LM

I used to work in retail, and Christmas season was THE worst. MrSG is working part time in the evenings in a retail environment, and while he's a very patient and even-tempered person, even he comes home rolling his eyes at the antics of the customers.

[barb162]

11. Some people treat sales people with contempt and as if they

are some sort of sub-human group. I find that terrible

[WhollyHeretic]

8. Oh god, I've worked retail this time of year but never a toy store

:scared:
You are a brave soul.
:patriot:

I got a text message from a friend of mine yesterday who was working retail. Her message simply said "I HATE PEOPLE"

[Bullwinkle925]

9. Having worked reception in physician offices - a lot of what you have

complained about goes for 'patients', too. DON'T walk up to the window to check in with the god-damned cell phone stuck in your ear and then tell me to 'wait a minute'. I WON'T - esp. with our phones ringing off the hooks - lab reports or biopsy results to get from the appropriate departments and our doctors waiting for us to hand them the requested information they've asked us to obtain.
DON'T sit in the waiting room rolling your eyes and complaining about being kept waiting when perhaps the surgeon has had to stay in surgery LONGER DUE TO UNEXPECTED COMPLICATIONS AND HAS NOT REACHED OUR OFFICE YET - OR IS IN AN EXAM ROOM GIVING ANOTHER PATIENT BAD NEWS REGARDING THEIR BIOPSIES AND IS ADVISING THEM WHAT THEIR NEXT STEP IS !!!!!!!!!
Don't ask us to photocopy a god-damned magazine article for you! Don't walk in off the street expecting us to drop everything and photocopy your chart because you have an apt. tomorrow with a new doctor and want your records! Think first, please!! Give the office staff enough time and 'heads up' knowledge to have the appropriate time to get it done for you.
And, for God's sake - KNOW WHAT YOUR INSURANCE IS AND HAVE THE GD CARD WITH YOU. WE ARE NOT MIND-READERS AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PLAN YOU HAVE AND WHAT IT COVERS.
JEEZ LOUISE!

Okay, I can relax now - got that off my chest.

[Rhythm]

10. You deserve a medal...

I worked in a grocery store for several years (where holidays and home WVU football gamedays are nightmarish), and even i don't think i could handle working in a toy store during the 'season of joyless shoppers'.

On the upside... i'll bet you have access to Whiffle bats there...
*maniacal laughter ensues*

[China_cat]

12. I am the BEST customer.

I do all my shopping online and don't even cross the door of any stores at this time of year, eliminating the hassle for the employees of watching the idiots that get irked because I can't get my wheelchair out of their way fast enough.

[NC_Nurse]

13. "Failure to plan ahead on your part...

does not constitute and emergency on my part."

I love that saying....

Good tips for impatient people, which most Americans are I'm afraid (including me on occasion).
I don't get mad at the staff, though, usually other customers who seem to think that it's okay to hold up the line while they : talk on the cell phone,
search for their checkbook, or something else, or ask a bunch of questions that they could have asked BEFORE they got in the line to pay....
I usually just think evil thoughts about them - I never say anything. }(

[peacefreak]

14. Thank you LeftyMom.

You are spot on! A customer asked me for a book with the wrong author & no title & asked what my problem was when I couldn't find what she wanted. Yeah, it's Christmas.
May I forward your rant to my favorite customers & co-workers? I hope you & LeftyFamily have a good holiday once this madness is over (except for the returns!).

[blondeatlast]

25. I'm now a librarian and did my time in retail bookstores...

C: "I'm looking for a novel, but I don't know the title."
Me: "Who wrote it?"
C: "I don't know. It's red, though. Bestseller."
Me: "How old is it?"
C: Really new; I just read it and want to give one to my aunt."
Me: "t's a mystery, right?"
C: "Yes!"
Me: "Perhaps it's the new vince Flynn novel; let me show you."
C: "No, that's not it."
Me: "Well, perhaps the new Patterson novel then."
C: "No, that's not it, either."
Me: "Hmm, that's the only red bestsellers I can think of, let's look at the bestseller chart, maybe that will ring a bell."
C: "Good idea!--pauses, looks, grimaces; "This is from last week. I read this about 6 months ago." (As you are no doubt aware, that's a century in the popular novel industry).
Me: "Maybe you can find it here" as I escort him to the remaindered shelves...
C: "Yes! That's it!--but, damn--I paid full price for it; now it's 9.99..." (with a slight whine, no less.)

Even in the library, they still ask for the "big red book by that mystery novelist--you know, it was made into a movie..." :eyes:

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

33. I can't believe that anyone who was gonna read Da Vinci Code hasn't already. . .

[seemunkee]

15. I didn't realize you were working at a toy store

You have my sympathy.
You don't have easy access to firearms do you?

[Mad_Dem_X]

16. God bless anyone who works in retail

especially this time of year. I couldn't do it; I'd be snapping on folks within two minutes of my first day. :hug:

[myrna minx]

17. You have my sympathies.

I am a frequent customer of a post office mini-station,, but since it's a part of my daily routine, I had forgotten about the insanity of the holiday season. Mail pick up was at 4:00 pm and there was this huge line with people over come with packages. They were all huffing and puffing that they were going to miss the pick-up. This poor kid minding the counter handled it all with aplomb, but my god! I couldn't believe how absolutely horrible people were. People pushing people out of line, people were whining about how their legs hurt by having to wait in line, and the people who were whining about the wait, just couldn't make up their minds about what stamps they wanted to buy. With signs clearly visible stating that they do not accept credit cards, people would whine that they didn't take credit cards, then they demanded that this kid take their credit card because these packages just have to go out! It was a bloody zoo. One woman wailed that she was having a panic attack and needed to know RIGHT NOW (she was at the back of the line) if her packages would make it to their destination on time. Um, if you swing by the postal station at 3:45pm a week before Christmas, and mail pick up at at 4:00pm, don't freak out on the poor kid that's weighing and metering your packages. I'd love to see how all of these desperate, wailing masses would fare in Iraq, especially when their fragile mental state is fractured and unhinged by their last minute decision to rush into the post office sub-station.

[skygazer]

18. If I may add a few

Take your reunions elsewhere. If you run into someone you haven't seen in ages, go outside and visit. No one needs the two of you blocking an entire aisle while you reminisce and your kids run wild.

Don't wait until you're at the checkout to decide you need "one more thing." If I've already started ringing you up, you don't have time to go get it.

Get off the damn phone. Annoying enough while you're wandering around but when I'm trying to ring you up, it's just plain rude.


Excellent list. :thumbsup:

[Divameow77]

19. Been there

I worked at FAO Schwarz while in high school so not only was I working in a toy store during christmas but it was at the Mall of America, double nightmare!

My only complaint about retail employees, if you don't know where the thing is that I'm asking for don't lead me all over the store trying to find it... I don't mind if you ask for help :-)

[MorningGlow]

20. Huzzah

I concur wholeheartedly!

And some rules from the bookstore workers out there:

When calling the store, do NOT open with, "Uhhhmmmmm...I'm looking for a BOOK." Good for you, Skippy. You managed to call the right place. Now get on with it.

Along the lines of the pink Barbie description--bookstore workers sometimes need a bit more to go on than "I can't remember the title, author, or subject, but the book I'm looking for is about this thick (hold index finger and thumb about two inches apart) and it has a purple cover."

Of course, all the GOOD bookstore workers have ESP (or just have been standing at the customer service counter for far too long) and know EXACTLY what you're talking about and will reach over to the mongo display of whatever the "hot" book is this year and hand it to you before you can take another sip of your in-store-bought latte. And it will invariably be the right book.

I could go on...and on...and on...but I'll leave it there for now.

Blessings on you LeftyMom--retail workers are the saints of the season.

[Left Is Write]

21. Princess Genevieve from Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses?

:)

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

22. Very good...

:applause:

You'd like me as a customer...I did all my shopping online. :woohoo:

[miss_american_pie]

23. Oh a toy store?

Yikes. :hug:

I'll just add my favorite retail rant: all the sweaters on the table look the same, just different colors. You really don't need to unfold every one.

[Phillycat]

26. Managed a record store for a decade...

"I'm looking for a song. It has 'love' in the title."

"I'm looking for a CD. The cover is blue."

"I'm looking for a song. I heard it in my car on the way to the gym."

Store clerk: Does it have piano in it?
Customer: I don't know, but it's really pretty

*The above all actual quotes*

Of course, we always figured out what they wanted. We had special powers. Nowadays, you can walk into a record store with the title, artist, name of the song, CD color, and UPC code, and they still can't find it. :eyes: No wonder amazon is winning...

[blondeatlast]

29. Libraries too. "It's blue, it's about this big."

Gee thanks--Muse and Title Source don't seem to have a search for color and size--imagine... :eyes:

[blondeatlast]

27. You have my utmost respect. Hope you get some sort of reward.

I know when my son was about 2, he wanted a Teletubbie doll more than anything in the world--none to be found. I could have kissed that wonderful cashier at Toys-backwards R-Us who said she thought there was one coming off of a hold in the back--and sure enough, it was there. She could have blown it off with none of us being the wiser, but she maybe couldn't stand seeing a kid so disappointed.

His eyes absolutely lit up when she handed it to him and I made sure she knew how much I appreciated her tiny extra effort for a heartbroken little boy, and I made sure the manager knew too.

You may not know it, but you will make some little one's holiday better. Hats off to you!

[Ellen Forradalom]

28. I begin a transaction with the question,

"How are you? Is the public treating you well?"

and take my receipt with,

"May the public be kind to you."

I like to think that a simple acknowledgement of the cashier's humanity helps a lot.

[SacredCow]

30. I am SO glad I don't work in retail anymore....

and I always try to be polite and patient when shopping at this time of year.

I've only had one rant this year, and I didn't take it out on the employees (I think it was a store policy problem, so I fired off an email).

Best of luck to you, LeftyMom- the end of the season is drawing near!

[formerrepuke]

31. ..and take the shopping cart back to the store, or at least the cart corral..

rather than simply pushing it away from your car into the nearest empty parking space and driving off. I've actually seen people do this.

[Bullwinkle925]

32. One of my biggest pet peeves. For crissakes, what does it take to have a bit

of respect for others and return the cart to the corral?

[SOteric]

34. People are dufuses. ....dufii? Hrm. -anyway-

http://www.jetwolf.com/hof/osb/index.html

When you get some time check out the stories on this site. You may find some comfort in knowning that others share your plight. And you'll definitely laugh.