RANT: What NOT to do at your office re: Christmas

[Darth_Kitten]

Okay, you don't have to give gifts to everybody BUT if you are going to give special gifts to your personal friends there, do it OUT of my vicinity?
I happen to sit next to a group of 4 who exchanged gifts with each other and gave gifts to a few others yet totally ignored me. I'm not looking for anything, maybe a little box of chocolates there, I'm not an insignificant piece of garbage. Or rather, do the exchange privately. I also don't want cards that suddenly show up at my desk when I know most others got theirs days before.

I really felt being left out today. I have a few pals I'm giving gifts to but I'm keeping it private. :(

This reminds me of the "good old days" where you would check your folder at your desk in primary school for valentine's people gave or didn't give you. (before teachers encouraged fairness for all)

It's just the feeling of exclusion that I don't care for. So, I'm sensitive and I feel these things.
Gee, I'm not some leper, I'm a nice person and I think fairly generous, I'm not asking much, just to be THOUGHT of. Not even worth a 50 cent box of candy. :(

Sorry, I'm cranky and feeling cynical today. :(

[Deja Q]

1. At least they didn't pee into the coffee pot.

I'm sorry that happened to you. :hug:

If it makes you feel better, I'm left out of things all the time. Imagine me as a child on Valentine's day... amongst other days. :)

[Darth_Kitten]

2. i'll deal with it......I just think people should be a little more aware

of their surroundings. Like hey, your gushing over everything you are getting is wearing on my last nerve. ;)

[Deja Q]

3. Point taken...

Still, other people who don't regularly get ill treatment and then feel bad when it happens might benefit from knowing that people who get bad treatment more often exist.

And I know there are many worse off than me. That doesn't mean I should keep silent. ;)

[dorktv]

9. For what it is worth, I Love You!

:loveya:

[cwydro]

4. That really sucks.

I know how you feel. I work in an office with people mostly younger than I and they are all good buds outside of work as well. That part doesn't bother me, as I have nothing in common with them anyway...and don't look to work for my social needs. But the hoopla around Christmas just seems to make things so much more obvious and one feels like a fifth wheel. I actually took the bull by the horns this year and just politely said I was opting out of the whole "secret santa" thing, which always drives me crazy. I think they were taken aback at first and no doubt consider me a Scrooge, but I feel much better about it. No pressure. And I don't do office parties either. What you are describing sounds like a bunch of totally oblivious and inconsiderate people. And sadly, I know exactly where you're coming from. Hang in there. It'll all be over soon.:hide: :hug:

[Darth_Kitten]

5. I've got my own buds too......

and just give them any gifts discreetly.

I know that there are other people like me who feel the same way. Have your friends and your fun, but remember you aren't including one person who sits right next to you! :) The feeling of being excluded really hit me today.

F*ck em. Last time I buy doughnuts for everybody. ;)

[cwydro]

6. Yeah, I think that people who don't THINK

about that really are missing an empathy gene. I would NEVER do that even with co-workers I don't care for.

[tigereye]

19. I don't understand people sometimes

how hard is it to include someone who is right there? :hug:

Sometimes people are pretty clueless.

[GirlinContempt]

7. I work in a really small place

So I just opted to get gifts for everyone. That's only 4 people not counting myself, so it's feasible. Don't wanna leave anyone out.

[Ekirh]

8. We're doing a gift exchange

I told them I didn't want to do it . . but they ended up signing me up for it anyway... grrr

Well I decided fine, but by god... who ever gets the electric buddha better smile about it . . they better smile.

[Darth_Kitten]

10. our secretary told me she got a really sucky gift in the gift exchange......

so I found out who the secret santa was for her. :evilgrin:

Not that I'm a trouble maker or anything. ;)

[Ekirh]

11. Absolutely not.. . .heh.

As for me.. I'm pretty sure who ever gets the electric buddha will know immediately where it came from . .

I was actually looking for a cookie jar in the shape of a moose (I gave that to my mom one year as a joke gift . . and she ended up finding it adorable.... figures) but alas couldn't this time around.

[Darth_Kitten]

12. where ever did you find an electric buddha?

:D

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

14. What does an electric Buddha do?

Nothing? ;)

[Ekirh]

15. It's your basic. .

Little Lightening ball.. you know one of those if you touch it the electricity follows your hand.... but with the added bonus of having Buddha hold it over his head. . .

Other than that... nothing.

[AllegroRondo]

23. Where can I find one of those?

it sounds like the perfect conversation piece for my desk.

[Shine]

13. I'm sorry that happened, dk. How insensitive of your co-workers.

not to mention incredibly RUDE. :thumbsdown:

:hug:

[SeattleGirl]

16. I agree, Shine.

While no one should be obligated to give gifts at work, it would have been better if those four had gone to lunch together and done it there.

[astral]

17. These are all women, right?

I have some very catty women behavior in my office too. Similar stuff, and this year, I am due to financial reasons not going to lift a finger for the office. I do not even know if they plan to have an office party or not, as of today. I don't mind the food sharing, or even a gift exchange where everyone buys ONE gift, but this place is like, certain people LOUDLY giving / getting gifts for each other, and last year I bought something for EVERYONE because, I didn't know how to handle it, and didn't want to pick who I was acknowledging and who I was leaving out. I ended up spending $200! A couple of these people do not even talk to me! (Yes, that kind of 'catty.')

I may get three gifties, very weird stuff that has no place to go but the trash when nobody's looking, but one year I got a dishrag and a place to stick it (dishrag holder) very nicely presented to me with a smile by someone who does not speak to me. I thought it was funnier than hell even myself, but it's no fun to laugh alone when the joke's on you. I'm too old to play the bullshit game anymore.

You can bet your @$$ they are doing it CONSCIOUSLY to make you feel bad in order to make themselves feel more important than you. There is no other explanation for that kind of boorish exhibitionism.

All you can do is take it with a grain of salt and not let it bother you. Who ever gets me a gift this year will get a very gracious thank you with no apology nor explanation as to why I didn't get them something too.

The trouble with many work situations, I think, is expectations are not defined for us and people can play rabid games at the opportunity, just to hurt other people's feelings, when in fact Christmas should be about spreading love and goodwill and people who can't do that should really ignore the holiday.

END OF RANT. Thank you.

[Darth_Kitten]

21. Thing is they are not cruel to me........

they are just each other's personal friends and my thing is just to do exchanges privately. :D

[Manifestor_of_Light]

18. It's very cruel

I cannot stand those "white elephant" parties where you bring something, and they go around in turns and you can steal somebody else's present that you like.

This past summer I was at a reunion where the hostess decided to have one of those parties, out on her lawn, and she provided all the items. I got something I was perfectly happy with, and then another woman in the group stole it. I immediately burst into tears in front of about 25 people, put my head down, attempted to hide it and be quiet, and quietly sneaked back to the house to cry. I was completely embarrassed. The hostess thought I was "pouting" and "trying to get attention". That was the exact opposite of what I was feeling.

I told several people who were attempting to comfort me away from the crowd (bless them) that it was a stupid game and it wasn't about the item I got that I had taken away from me. It was about the greed. I ended up giving the present I didn't want to the clerk at the hotel I stayed at.

I hate those and in the future I will refuse to participate in them, because they are stupid and they encourage greed. The people who are stealing look childish while they are doing the snitching.

:banghead:

I will never understand why people think this is "fun". :wtf:

[u4ic]

20. I'm sorry, D_K

I echo that it was very rude indeed. :hug:

[soleft]

22. At least you didn't get a piece of wood.

I've let it go, really.

But this ones for you. And I hope you get something special from someone in real time as well.