Funniest DU Posts of the Year

[Kathy in Cambridge]

I don't have a link but thebigidea had a hilarious thread a few months ago about Alan Colmes (I know Catwoman was involved as well). I was wondering if anyone had bookmarked it.

Here is another funny quip from our thebigidea:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=963119#963163

I laughed so hard I cried...

[underpants]

1. DS1 and I had a really funny one about eating hardboiled eggs

It was on a Sturday or Sunday morning.


You had to be there

There are a lot of really funny ones

A caption picture of Rummy on his first visit to Iraq and someone posted "Who does a guy have to bomb to get some decent orange drink around here?"

[DS1]

2. oh man, that was funny

Started with peeling them wrong, and took a huge detour. Well worth digging up, IMHO

[underpants]

7. Bobbing for hardboiled eggs

crunchy

end up with my mother hucking them at me from across the room

Yes that wa a classic

[Kathy in Cambridge]

4. Yes-I remember the Rummy pic

LOL

There's a lot of funny DUers, including you, my dear!

Happy New Year!

[underpants]

10. Whooooooooohoooooooooo

:bounce:

[jonnyblitz]

3. there was one between NSMA and MaineMary

NSMA went on a completely good humoured hysterical rant about Maine Mary's bizarre animal stories. One of the funniest posts I ever read on here. I wish I had a link to it, I am sure it in the archives of DU1.

TheBigIdea always makes me laugh. I read that post. His art is great too. Particulary that song..."The Washington Monument is the Prick of the World(or something like that)"he had posted on here once. LOL

[camero]

5. Magic Rat? I think?

The one who told stories with the smileys. Hilarious.

[THUNDER HANDS]

8. thank you

Here's some links for you, if you want to re-read them....

How Howard Dean Won Over DU

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=472619

Warm & Fuzzy Feelings

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=450074

Inside George W. Bush

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=409638

Inside A DU Flame War

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=409270

The History of the World

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=410028

A DU Story

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=404425

[Kathy in Cambridge]

11. The smiley face story was priceless!

:hi:

[camero]

12. History of the World

That was the one I was thinking about. Thanks.

[Zuni]

14. great threads

these are awesome

[ellie]

28. Wow Magic Rat!

That was wonderful!

[papau]

6. The Penis size condom standard problem in the EU was funny!

Just as to the topic! :-)

I do not remember how the thread started, but I recall doing a google and coming up with the fact that the EU was having a hell of a time stating what was the official EU condom dimensions, because they had found at least 2 and possibly 3 large sub-populations of different (errect/hard) size (4.75, 5.75, and 6.5)! Someone offered up the existance of a special (smaller) Asian size available from Japan.

A lot of solid DU research!

:-)

[Zuni]

15. those are rather small sizes

4.5? That must be embarrasing!

[camero]

16. I feel much better now...lol

6.5 being large...hehe. Maybe I should go to Europe..lol :)

[papau]

40. They spent a small fortune on getting volunteers to be measured!

Some EU mags discussed the standards group going to fairs and giving away free beer to those willing to be measured!

And then there were the fights to get multiple sizes without letting the press note the geographic areas in the EU where the various sizes were most needed!

As to sensitive about "small" - yep - just about every male is!

:-)

No one is willing to let go of their smallness worry even after the local doctor tells them that more than 4.5 in means short strokes without full penetration if the lady is to avoid cervical erosion and possible cancer (the distance to the cervix being about 4.5 inches). Or so the MD's claim (one of my kids is an MD).

Small breasts/small penis - such worries folks have!

loss of hair or constant pain seems so minor in comparison!

:-)

[dolo amber]

9. Just my humble opinion....

but this is CLEARLY the funniest thing, possibly ever. :D

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=502065

It still makes me cry every time I read it. And as you can see, I even changed my sig in tribute. ;)

[underpants]

13. Now that's funny

Damn I must havemissed that one.

[Elidor]

43. omg, I'm blushing, hahaha

Still makes me laugh to think about that one. :)

[chiburb]

17. If this isn't the funniest, then you have no humerous!

Posted by Booberdawg, bookmarked by me. A MUST read!!!!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=346185

[underpants]

19. Ah yes the sweatpants at the all you can eat

I was laughing so hard people were looking at me funny....more than usual that is.

[Booberdawg]

30. Oh Gawd, I remember that! One of the few times I sat here

by myself and just roared with tears streaming down my face. My pets were just frantic, LOL!I couldn't collect myself for more than a few seconds to finish reading the story and I'd lose it all over again! That story is a classic!

[Booberdawg]

37. kick

[greatauntoftriplets]

18. This one.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/cgi-bin/duforum/duboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=25393&forum=DCForumID59

[Kathy in Cambridge]

20. That is so funny! Thanks for the link!

"Hungary --- We gave at the office, you keep the Gabor sisters. "

[MrBenchley]

21. The gun dungeon had a fair amount...

There was the one about the imbecile who shot himself in the face with a frog....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=118&topic_id=5138

There was this bit of utter silliness....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=118&topic_id=3498

There was the thread devoted to that rootin-tootin' straight shootin' gunslinger Mahatma Gandhi...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=118&topic_id=20002

But I think the winner of the year was the Adventures of Pellet Gun Bill....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=118&topic_id=10520

[VOX]

22. No links, but two single hilarious posts stick in my memory...

Matcom had a thread going about a Russian guy who drank himself to death while winning a vodka-drinking contest, to which SOteric replied, "Absolut pyrrhic victory."

In a more recent thread about Alan Colmes' book, mitchum quipped, "How do the book's pages stick together without a spine?"

Here's to the many razor-sharp wits of DU... :toast:

[leftist_rebel1569]

23. This one-

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=106088

Suprised it hasn't come up yet

[Kathy in Cambridge]

24. And Jesus got tombstoned. Bummer.

That was a damn funny thread.

[Breezy du Nord]

25. Why?

I thought that thread was funny too.

[trof]

26. shameless plug

I wrote this last Jan. (I think), but it didn't get much board time.
:shrug:

See how you like my latest song parody.

With humblest apologies to Dietz and Schwartz, composer and lyricist for "That's Entertainment", and thanks to Fred and Cyd and the whole "That's Entertainment" gang.
click on this, click "open", and sing along.
http://members.aol.com/FFnn6/thatsent.mid

The things that happen for real,
don't happen in these shows.
They can us make us gasp.
They can make us sigh.
Anything, anything can go.

The hair, and the teeth are just right.
On the tube, each and ever-ry night.
No in-fo, just a lot of sound byte,
That's entertaiNEWS!

They smile,and they chuckle a lot.
There they are, giving all that they've got.
And the babes...are so terribly HOT!
That's entertaiNEWS!

It's Faux on the box? You can count on the Right,
To bash, for the cash, every liberal in sight.
This isn't news, it's news-lite,
Where bush* follows father,
And causes a lot of bother.

It bleeds? Then it certainly leads.
Or it's sex... a politico's ex.
Or a star, face down drunk in a bar?
The news has a slant,
We slant all the news,
At entertaiNEWS!

A-B---C-B-S, N-B-C
(this takes some work to get the meter right, but it works!)
Spin the "news", that we all get to see.
It's a shame, but it ever will be!
That's entertaiNEWS!

The guys, and the gals on the shows,
Cut to break, just to powder a nose.
They come back, and the horsehockey flows!
That's entertaiNEWS!

C-Span...main man, will I get the truth?
Or should I just cry and watch Dr. Ruth?
Or is it...all just uncouth?
Should I move to Bermuda?
Or maybe I'll go to Cuba?

The big...TV guys are in charge
And the cash...goes to bush* in a barge
It comes back...and the payoff is large!
The news is a biz,
Our biz is the news,
The news is a biz,
That's entertaiNEWS!

[Skittles]

29. LOL

that IS funny! :thumbsup:

[trof]

35. You're STILL my best audience Skitts.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
:loveya:

[slackmaster]

27. The "Talking" Chimp Amazes Scientists thread

Not sure I got the title exactly right, but there was a talking chimp in there somewhere. I think it was in the Environment/Energy/Science forum.

The content was lukewarm but the title killed me every time I read it.

[populistmom]

31. The Naked pull-toy man poll completely cracked me up more than anything

Apologies to John Kleeb in regard to any further embarrassment.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=338571

[proud patriot]

32. well I posted this and I laughed

He Can't Do That
http://www.bushin30seconds.org/vote/view.html?ad=KoF.pdImt6buKg.txkAdAnZpZXctMjI1Nw--

Seriously

http://www.bushin30seconds.org/vote/view.html?ad=UTGzk8zRf4oXVGn4LcTpl3ZpZXctNzY5

[HEyHEY]

44. OMG those NEED TO BE ON TV!

[Robb]

33. I still laugh at the thread title

"Hulk Doll has Giant Wang". :D

I'll never stop finding that funny. Although I've had more laugh-out-loud laughs here than anywhere. Sharp minds, sharp wits! :toast:

[_NorCal_D_]

34. My choice for the funniest thread(s) of 2003:

"Hulk" Doll has Giant Wang
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=12125#12134

Squirrls, cute lawn pets or DIRTY RAT BASTARDS?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/cgi-bin/duforum/duboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=11952&forum=DCForumID69&archive=yes

[roguevalley]

36. the venting letter a British customer wrote to his ISP provider.

I almost died reading it.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

45. How Did I miss the Hulk Doll?

God, that's disgusting!

[TrogL]

38. The sex threads

There was a week where the lounge was infested with sex threads (*tries unsuccessfully to look innocent*) including the "wang" one above, but it got so bad Skinner shut it down.

[TrogL]

39. The parodies

Take an ordinary thread title and turn it upside down.

Furriest DU posts of the year

[Hillsey]

41. This looks like a good thread to bookmark

[davsand]

42. Cyber Sex gone bad.

I cried I was laughing so hard--then I showed my husband and he cried too...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=125474

Laura

[BritishHuman]

46. Ooh, the dildo and wetwang one really amused me...

No link, sadly, but the 'postcards' were hysterical.

[Booberdawg]

47. Here it is.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=178114

[BritishHuman]

49. Fabulous!

Even better than I remembered!

[JohnKleeb]

48. When I got challenged to a fight by one of my best friends here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=365524
Actually it wasnt a real fight but I didnt know our song lol, I didnt even know we had one. It was all fake. :) :hi: if you read this. The fight was fake, we were just joshing around.

[corporatewhore]

50. when some one said that the white stripes were the next jimi hendrix

very funny and blasphemous

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

51. DS1 Be a PATRIOT

http://www.democraticunderground.com/cgi-bin/duforum/duboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=22385&forum=DCForumID59&archive=yes

and if it's OK to toot my own horn:

Posting on DU: A Survival Guide:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/cgi-bin/duforum/duboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=1393&forum=DCForumID69&archive=

[thebigidea]

52. I can never look at Colmes the same way again

before, he was a useless creep - now, he's the gift that keeps on giving.

Over to you, Sean!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

53. kick

[LTR]

54. The non-existent Free Republic Lounge

Can't find the thread. Hilarious!!!

Anybody go a link, or know how to search archived threads?