Rant #1 - people who don't how to answer the #@*$(&%$# phone

[Rabrrrrrr]

especially when calling businesses. Sadly, though, it isn't just businesses that don't train their employees how to use a fucking phone. Apparently, few people are teaching their children - and haven't done so for a generation - how to use the phone, either.

What the hell happened over the last couple decades to common phone courtesy?



Try this, people:

"Hello, this is (so and so)"

"My I speak with (name) please?"

"He's not here right now. May I take a message or help you in some other way?"

"Sure, please give him this message ...."

"Okay, let me repeat that and make sure I have it correctly..."

"That's perfect. Thank you."

"Thank you."



instead of this:

"Hello"

(pause while waiting for person to identify business) (I don't mind when people don't identify themselves at home, owing to the large number of assholes who are calling homes with cranks, spam, and marketing calls; but for God's sake people, if you are answering a business phone, let the caller know that they've actually reached the fucking business. Jesus.)

"Ummm... is this (such and such a business)?"

"Yep"

(long pause)

"Could I speak with (name) please?"

"Uhhh.... he's not here."

(pause)

"Can I leave a message?"

"Sure"

(pause while I wait for person to either say "go ahead" or "would you like his voicemail" or some other clue that the person on the phone is going to actually *@&*#&$ do something)

"Does he have voicemail?"

"No."

(pause while I wait for "but I can take a message, please go ahead" which of course never happens)

"Can I leave a message with you, then?"

"Yep"

(pause while waiting for person to indicate that they have paper and pen ready; which indication, of course, never comes, so I fly blindly, hoping to God it's being written down and not just 'remembered')

"Okay... the message is this..."

(then when I finish, instead of hearing the message back, I hear)

"Okay. Goodbye."

(person hangs up, leaving me, again, praying to God that a message was actually written down AND will actually be delivered)

[LynzM]

1. Yeah, that kind of stuff drives me crazy, too.

Phone manners are... less common, it seems. I've been told "you're not a patient, then, are you?" when calling a doctor's office, just because I asked "Hello, could I please speak with So and So?"

*sigh*

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Fucking morons.

Now I'm all pissed off again.

[Robb]

2. So "Who dis?" is right out?

[Reverend_Smitty]

3. When I was in college

I spent a lot of time working in the athletic training facilities on campus as part of my major requirements. The phone was always ringing (various doctors and school administrators were always calling) so of course we had to use our best "phone courtesy" manners. It got to the point where I answered the phone the same way so many times that when I was at home and the phone rang I caught myself starting my work greeting. So phone manners still do exist but it is rare

[Crabby Appleton]

5. I answer the phone

"this is (so and so)"

My voice mail message is

"this is (so and so), leave a message"

we have people at work that have voice mail greetings that are more than a minute long, drives me crazy(er)

[LeftyMom]

6. Customers who can't use the phone drive me mad.

Me: "Thank you for calling Enormous Big Box Retail Store, how may I direct your call?"

Person on phone: "...

Timmy, leave the dog alone!

Oh, is this Enormous Big Box Retail Store?"

Me: "Yes? How can I direct your call?"

Phone Idjit: "I had a question about an item. Can you tell me if you have this thing in stock?" (Usually the person dribbles this out so slowly they could have drove over and checked faster.

Me: "Sure. What is it?"

Phone Moron: (Incredibly vauge description that could be anything in the right half of the store, dribbled out at a snail's pace.)

Me: "Let me transfer you to that department." (Tries to think of somebody who pissed her off, gives call to them, goes on break.)

And then I have the callers with incomprehensibly thick accents. :banghead: And the rude ones. And the ones who won't take no for an answer. No amount of badgering me about when we'll get one will cause me to pull a Playstation 3 out of my ass for you, people! :cry:

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Oh, God, I worked retail and answered phones for a year and a half

So many conversations went like this:

"Uh, yeah, I'm calling about that (whatever) on sale in the flyer"

(and then I would wait, and wait, and wait until the person finally offered some more words; sometimes it would get too long, and I would interrupt the silence with:)

"And what about them, sir?"

(and then a long wait)

"Are they the (one kind) or (some other kind) of (whatever)?"

"Well, let's take a look at the flyer -- okay, I see here that the ones that are on sale are the (this kind)"

And there would be one of two responses:

1) "You don't have to be rude, I can see the flyer says that it's that kind - I just wanted to call and find out whyat kind it was"

or

2) "Well, why aren't the other kind on sale?"

"I don't know, sir."

And then choose any one of the following responses:

"You just want people to waste their trips".

"What kind of scam are you pulling?"

"You had that on sale the first week of April! Get the other one on sale! You're losing customers!!"





And the place I worked was a Walgreens, so these were usually calls about shit like Scotch Tape that was on sale for 5 cents less than normal, or some other minor idiotic item that was on sale for some 2% or so less than usual.

And I have to say that the normal Walgreen's shopper is a few steps lower in the rung of evolved humanity than most store shoppers, except maybe WalMart. We would - and I'm being VERY serious here - get people who would drive home, realize that we overcharged them by 5 or ten cents, and drive all the way back. Our store manager would often look at them with pity in his eyes, and just give them coins from his pocket. It was hilarious!

I also loved the assholes who would call the store and ask "Are my pictures done yet?" with no identification of who they are.

"Hmm... I'd say that there's a good 65% chance they are done, judging by the number of done picures that are here versus the ones still being processed. You can come in and play the odds, or you can give me your name so I can actually check."

[WhollyHeretic]

8. Oh, I hated the vague descriptions when I worked retail

"Do you have those things? You know, they're kind of shiny, made out of metal..."

Since it was a hardware store that described about 20,000 items in the store.

I had someone call up and ask if we sold hammers(they weren't asking for any specific kind either). Um... yeah, it's a hardware store, I think we sell hammers.