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If Microsoft made cars (joke)

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UrbScotty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-26-03 09:06 PM
Original message
If Microsoft made cars (joke)
Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon". In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
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LibertyorDeath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-26-03 09:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. Lol thanks : )
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mouse7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-26-03 09:14 PM
Response to Original message
2. Oh dear GAWD!
I didn't even read the text. The headline wrote the apolcalypse in my mind in the instant before the page loaded... and I have broadband.
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JailForBush Donating Member (753 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-26-03 09:21 PM
Response to Original message
3. If Microsoft made software...
rather than virus patches strung together and marketed as software.
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BlackVelvetElvis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-26-03 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Ha, that was a good one!
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rasputin1952 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-26-03 10:29 PM
Response to Original message
5. This is a Classic!...ROFLMAO...
I am duly impressed!!!

:bounce:
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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-26-03 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
6. ROFLMAO! I am passing this along! My office universally loathes that
we have been required to use Word over the late, lamented WordPerfect.

This is priceless . . .
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