DU vibes please. She's here to get her crap.

[Robb]

The ex is moments away. Good vibes requested.

And if you hear sirens, go back to bed. :eyes:

[SOteric]

1. !

:hug:

[Robb]

9. No kidding

Friday night. And it's fixin' to snow.

I think I've lined up bar buddies for after. But geez... I just hope she stays calm. Not promising so far, she cursed out the door on her way in.

[photogirl12]

2. Good vibes and Happy thoughts

a-headin' your way:D

[In_The_Wind]

3. peace be with you

[some guy]

4. shouldn't it all

be out in the street by now?

Well, even if you didn't put it in the street, she'll not have a fun time of it moving in the dark.

I hope you have a terrific weekend!

:hi:

[Ptah]

5. Our Mother Of The Bathtub is hearing your prayers.

:pals:

[Ellen Forradalom]

52. Bathtub Virgin Mary rules!

My dad once wanted to put together a tour of Bathtub Virgin Maries of Northern Wisconsin.

[SeattleGirl]

6. Deep breath.....

:hug:

[elfrangel]

7. Hope that all goes peacefully

:hug:

[jus_the_facts]

8. Good vibes to you.....

...don't let it digress to the cops bein' called...just relax and show no emotion! :hug:

[Robb]

10. 'Cause that'll piss her off?

:D

[jus_the_facts]

11. EXACTLY!

:D

[Robb]

12. Do I get to call her names

...after she gives me a check? :evilgrin:

[jus_the_facts]

14. In your head....

....just keep it inside until she's gone...THEN call her everything nasty you thought up...just to keep the cops out of it...otherwise call the lyin' cheatin' bitch whore the lyin' cheatin' bitch whore she is?! :evilgrin:

on edit..and disclaimer: those nasty names come from the movie Cadillac Man starring Robin Williams and Tim Robbins! :D

[Robb]

15. Apt

Still want to call her out, though. I won't, I won't... but I won't like not doing it.

[jus_the_facts]

17. Just don't give her the satisfaction....

...she knows what she is anyway...you sayin' it will only make her think she's justified somehow. :hug:

[Robb]

18. When she left to get the trailer

...I just quietly said, "When you get back, we need to talk."

"Great," she said.

I did say it evenly, tho'.

[jus_the_facts]

22. Good luck Robb....

...."great" sounds like her attitude is goin' badly already...just relax...remain extremely calm and act as if you've no emotions one way or another now...if she won't give you the money she owes you then tell her she'll be gettin' a call from a lawyer soon...which you'd rather not have to do but she's givin' you no choice but to hound her ass with attorneys til hell freezes over. :evilgrin:

[NV Whino]

21. Not until...

you cash the check. And I mean cash. Do not deposit. Cash it.

[greatauntoftriplets]

13. Good luck to you, Robb....

You were there for her. Now you deserve better than this.

[LostinVA]

16. Cyber crossed fingers!

[Evoman]

19. Cold as ice...cold as ice.

Trying staying cool...cold even. Not only will it make you the bigger man, it will drive her wayyyy more crazy than you losing it.

You insult her, she wins.

Stay cool and controlled, and your opinion of yourself will skyrocket.

[Haole Girl]

20. Sending good vibes..

...hopefully, you can get some peace back in your life soon. :hug:

[cwydro]

23. oh wow

like I said before, I 've been there...sending good strong thoughts your way....be strong.:thumbsup:

[Robb]

24. WELL. That went... haltingly.

She came back, no trailer, wrong hitch. I invited her to come in to talk, she wanted to talk from her car. Lovely.

So I bring up the money, she says she thinks it's "really sad" I'm "making such a big deal over such a small amount of money."

I say, evenly (all of this I say calmly, and sure enough she gets more and more aggravated), "So are you going to pay me back?"

"I don't think I owe you anything. I did a lot of work around here (she didn't)."

"Well, until a few weeks ago you always said you intended to pay me back."

"I'm not going to."

"I strongly suggest you reconsider. It's the right thing to do."

"Yeah, for you because it's going in your pocket."

"It did come out of my pocket. So it is your final decision not to pay me back?"

"I'll think about it. I think it's ridiculous you making such a big deal out of it! You can keep all the shit in the shed, you know what? I don't want ANY of it."

"No, you need to get your things out of the shed, and you need to pay me back."

"I'll think about it!"

"Bring your checkbook tomorrow. I think it's the best idea."

(vrooom, drives off)

She said she'd be back in the morning. It was amazing. The calmer I was, the more pissed off she was.

Still headed to the bar later, tho'. :D

[bridgit]

25. that's exactly right, she leaves her stuff there cause she can't let go...

she misses that certain something (ooh la-la) you do in fact provide her; you are in 'the cat/bird seat' friend, play those cards with empathy ;)

[Robb]

26. If it wasn't for the three grand

...and that it's cold outside, I'd be hucking stuff in the street. Well, at least pushing it out of the shed and down the hill. :)

[Chan790]

28. Don't do that...

if she leaves it there long enough, the judge may rule in your favor like the one in my parent's divorce did against my father and say that she has to pay you storage fees for not moving her crap in a reasonably-hasty manner.

[Common Sense Party]

33. $3000 smackeroos? What does she owe that for?

I can't believe some people (including her) think you would/should forgive a $3000 debt.

[LostinVA]

40. THrow her shit to the curb NOW and write off the $3,000 for now

Get a restraining odder on her this morning after you do that. Take photos of everything, document everything, then file a claim in small claims court for $3,000 next week.

You will win.

You HAVE TO DO THIS. YOU HAVE TO GET HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND YOUR HEAD.

I've live this, I really do understand.

[jus_the_facts]

27. I told you so...I told you so.....

:P

.....good job! Don't party too hard as the hangover might make you a tad more testy in the a.m. :D

[hickman]

29. Oh for the love of Mike.

Forget the money, sell the crap in the shed, change the locks on your house, and block her number on your cell. That is only the first step of getting over.

[lizziegrace]

31. Walk away from $3000?

Not many of us can afford to do that. The crap in the shed will get pennies on the dollar. I must disagree with you on this. Change the locks and block her number, certainly. Ignore the money? I couldn't.

[radwriter0555]

35. Well, the money is already gone. It isn't a lot, it's out of the pocket,

out of the bank account.

It's just money. You can always make more.. and it's a small price to pay to get rid of such a loser.

[datasuspect]

36. $3,000

depeding on your situation, could be a lot of money.

that's a hard call. but if it is already gone, then it is gone.

the frustration a person like this inspires would be worth $3,000 to get rid of, but it sounds like the OP is still getting some kind of emotional payoff in continuing to deal with her. i don't think the issue is the money here.

[bicentennial_baby]

43. $3000 isn't a lot of money?

Heh, maybe in *your* world...

[greatauntoftriplets]

45. $3,000 is a lot of money to most of us here.

Robb had undoubtedly worked many long hours to save that much. He deserves to be paid back.

[Robb]

50. More than 200 of them, at my pay scale

Buddy at poker said he got out of my profession and into teaching high school for the money. :rofl:

[greatauntoftriplets]

53. And that's BEFORE the government gets its hands on it....

Truly, I hope you get the money back from her.

[LostinVA]

42. Yes -- either walk away or file in small claims court

[LostinVA]

41. Ha! I posted the same thing!

[Bossy Monkey]

30. Again with the advices from the self-service storage industry...

If she tells you (in writing) she's abandoning the stuff, just go to your Yellow Pages and look under Auctioneers or Auctioneer Services. They'll be happy to clean out the whole shed and pay you something. (Not three grand, mind you.) I just looked up the crook-- I mean fellow-- I dealt with in my self-store days 20-odd years ago; he's still chuggin'.

Should she ever again refer to you "making such a big deal over such a small amount of money," just calmly say, "I'm not making a big deal and if it's such a small amount of money you shouldn't have any problem paying it." Right?

Best wishes always.

[youthere]

32. My advice:

Document. Document. Document. Get a notebook and write it all down. Dates and times of every bit of contact you have. keep copies of emails and don't erase voice mails.
Be brief. Be polite. Be direct.
Then SUE HER ASS.

[datasuspect]

38. civil litigation can be emotionally satisfying

but there isn't anything much compelling (except for wage garnishment) beyond a judgment that can get someone to pay.

i wonder if the time and expense of going beyond the judgment phase to doing wage garnishment (if they allow that in the OP's state) would be worth it for 3,000.

[EFerrari]

48. I'm about to be in the same spot and I think I'll go to Puerto Vallarta

instead. Lawsuis are stressful and wxpensive and uncertain. Puerto Vallarta is not. :)

[radwriter0555]

37. Well, sit down and write out this conversation on a piece of paper,

so that when you take her to small claims court, you'll have the precise recollection.

And then just do it. File it in small claims court, and bring that paper with that conversation and the exact dates and times all detailed on it along with you.

Then you can get judgement against her and ultimately garnish her wages to get paid back. The lawyer who collects it and files it will keep a piece of the money, but it will stay on her credit report for at least 7 years. Judgements on credit reports ARE AWFUL!'

But follow the process. Put it all in writing, document every single encounter and every single word exchanged. Use the net and do some research on how to successfully win in small claims. There are a lot of good sites and good informations out there.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

[tjwmason]

39. You done good.

Very good indeed.

Which is most evident from her reaction.

Hope you had a great time at the bar. :hug:

[Shine]

34. Go to your Happy Place.

Here's a nice, amusing pix for you. Buddha, embellished by my 9 yr old daughter's hairband. :D

[Dangerously Amused]

44. Hey Robb.

Some good advice here. I'll add:


Do not do anything to her stuff in the shed, even though she said she doesn't want any of it. If you do she will claim that she no longer owes you any money because you took her stuff. Then it will be he said/she said with regard to the value of the stuff and whether or not you took/converted it with her permission. And THAT will get very, very, very ugly.

If she really doesn't want any of her stuff, she will need to sign a statement aggreeing that she will allow you to dispose of everything she left behind, in any manner you see fit including selling it or throwing it out, as she no longer wants those items and therefore considers them of no value and in consideration for (important words) your work in relieving her of this task. The statement should include the fact that he has either viewed, or had and declined the opportunity to view, all of the items she left in your possession before she signed the statement.

Agree with the other poster's observation... if it truly is "such a small amount of money," then why is she making a big deal over not paying it? Since it is "such a small amount," why not pay it and be done with it?

Also agree... cash (not deposit) the check as soon as you get it. That day or if the bank is closed already, the very next business day. There are a number of good reasons for this but I won't bore you with them here.

Good luck.

[Robb]

47. Thanks DA. This morning's flip-flop

...is that suppposedly she's coming by in about an hour, this time with borrowed truck to match borrowed trailer.

I'm, of course, going to bring up the money again. If she balks, I'll remind her that every check (which I have copies of) says "Loan #1," "Loan #2," etc. on them, and that she agreed to repay them. If she continues to balk, I'll let her know she's being served on Monday, and the small claims court will be held in November -- when she's planning to go to Fiji for a month -- and if she fails to appear, it's a default ruling and we head to wage garnishment and credit report delights therein.

If she continues to balk, I've got a cop scheduled to be on civil standby.

[Dangerously Amused]

51. Good work; a suggestion and a cautionary note:

Suggestion: Do you have quick access to a copy machine/scanner? Can you make copies of the checks and her promissory note with the relevant parts highlighted, which you will hand to her as you are speaking to drive the point home?

Another good tactic to impress your seriousness upon an opponent (you probably won't have time for this today though unless she doesn't show up) is to have a copy of the lawsuit all signed and ready to be filed, to hand to your opponent with the instruction that either you get paid by Sunday night or the paperwork get filed first thing Monday morning.


Cautionary note: Just let her know when the case will be filed, nothing more. Let her ruminate over/find out when the case will be scheduled, and let her figure out what to do about it. If she knows she won't be able to make the hearing due to a previously scheduled foreign work assignment, she can file for an adjournment before the case is called and she will get it But let her figure that out, she may decide it's not worth the hassle and just pay you. But if she brings up the fact that you purposely filed the suit knowing that she would be out of the country when the case is called, and that you even told her you were doing it that way, it will cast you in a negative light to the judge. Don't want that.

[billyskank]

54. And the most important rule of all...

get a lawyer. Never take legal advice from anybody who isn't one. Even if they're right...how would you know?

[Callalily]

46. Sad to hear that this

is not over with yet. Get legal advice/counsel. Also when/if she shows up again, be sure you have a friend standing by your side.

Sending prayers and healing vibes. Good luck, and I hope this is all over soon.

[Giant Robot]

49. Sounds like you have everything well planned so far

but no plan survives contact with the enemy.

If I can offer you advice it would be to remain calm during your interaction, but do not back down from what you think is right. If there is something you think is negotiable, great give ground there, but not where you do not want to give anything. Also, do NOT do anything with her stuff until you speak with an attorney at the very least. There are too many bad possibilities there without legal consultation. And get your money that is owed to you. $3000 is a lot to me, hell I would kick you in the privates for that kind of cash who am I kidding, so you deserve to have it.

I don't know much about the situation, but have been in things similar in the past. I wish you peace and love Robb.

[ismnotwasm]

55. Peace and a return to happiness

And if you're in the mood, and so inclined (I can't believe I'm saying this) take a listen to Richard Pryors "When your woman leaves you"

[crim son]

56. Sending them now.

Wretched woman.

[HEyHEY]

57. I hope she dies in a car fire! And you win the lotto!

[NewWaveChick1981]

58. You got 'em!

:hi: Didn't see this until today, but sounds like you've got your hands full right now. :hug: Good vibes headed your way----may she pay you what she owes you and get her shit OUT of there!!!