Mr. Writer's eating habits frustrate me.

[Writer]

So Mr. Writer and I have had lengthy conversations about his weight. He's constantly complaining about his physique, etc. He's maybe 30 to 40 lbs. too heavy - not that bad, in my opinion. He's a handsome man and terribly kind.

But he refuses to say no to foods that are bad for him. If there's an option between a loaded baked potato, with cheese and sour cream, and a straight sweet potato full of good fiber, he aims for the loaded baked potato. His meal choices typically consist of some type of fatty protein and carbohydrates - no vegetables or fruit.

It's really not his fault - this is how his mother cooked for him. She literally loaded the plates edge to edge with fat, protein, and carbohydrates. That now has become his habit as an adult.

He asked me to help him eat better, but he is always ready with an excuse. "Oh, it's just this once," and "but this is my one treat for the day" (wrong, typically). Mr. Writer is an intelligent, grown man who has become accustomed to satisfying his palate regardless of the consequences. He refuses to tell himself "no." I do not want to mother him, so I'm at the point of just writing him off. Yet he continues to nag me with complaints as if I somehow can improve his situation.

I'm at my wits end with this!!! And I just needed to vent. :argh:

[AirmensMom]

1. Sorry, Writer.

:hug: It sounds terribly frustrating. :(

[amitten]

2. Too bad ya married a fatso.

}(

I'm kidding.

One of my friends ate as usual but replaced every dinner with a Lean Cuisine for a couple of months. He lost like ten pounds...not bad!

[Redstone]

3. You're fighting a battle you know you can't win.

Save yourself the aggro, and just give up.

Redstone

[greatauntoftriplets]

4. Who does the cooking???

Maybe you need to start doing it if he does so he gets healthier food.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My dear Writer........

Perhaps you might sit down with him.........

And say something along the lines of........Well, sweetie, we need to get your will and papers in order, since you seem hell-bent on killing yourself with your fork......

Maybe you can shock him into reforming? I don't know.......

Some folks will reform if they emotionally understand the consequences of their actions.....

I'm sorry.........:hug:

[miss_american_pie]

6. You cannot change a man

Trust me on this one. :hi:

[sendero]

7. How many psychiatrists ...

`.... does it take to change a light bulb? None, because the light bulb has to really want to change :)

[pitohui]

8. my husband was fat for years

really it's no biggie

he has lost a lot of weight with atkins but only because his metabolic syndrome put the fear of diabetes into him

the motivation has to come from within

i don't know what to tell you, the eerie thing is that i have actually had to increase the fat/calorie content of our diet to comply with atkins but he has lost weight and even i, who didn't need to, have lost a few pounds

you just do what you can and no use worrying about it


people don't die of being 30 pounds overweight, indeed, after a certain age, it probably protects them from osteoporosis and also if they ever do get cancer they have a little buffer if they have to get chemo

i've had several of my skinny friends die in their 50s, i don't romanticize being thin any more

i say vent, let him vent, but don't take it too seriously, 30 to 40 pounds "overweight" on a reasonably tall man is not worth destroying yourself over

[flvegan]

9. Thank goodness

you aren't giving professional advice to anyone.

[pitohui]

10. although she'd be better off i was, wouldn't she?

there is nothing positive to be gained by nagging her husband

he knows damn well he is fat, making him feel like shit about himself isn't going to do anything but make it more difficult for him -- and for her


my husband's readings are now normal, but it had to come from him, it couldn't come from anybody else

[flvegan]

12. Suggesting that being 30 pounds overweight might be

beneficial, outside of counseling AIDS patients, would get you stripped of your MD license and probably sued.

Like I said...

[Karenca]

15. Uh uh

30-40 pounds overweight is a health hazard.

< if they ever do get cancer they have a little buffer if they have to get chemo>

Unhealthy fatty foods pose a cancer risk to begin with, so
to justify that obesity will provide you with a buffer for chemo
is pretty bizarre.

[Random_Australian]

11. Change the cooking slightly- instead of, say, a roast, and some plates

of other foods, you make an all-in dish, like tuna mornay or irish stew or vegetable and beef lasanga or (plenty more ideas where that came from) with the right ratios of vegetables and stuff in it already and vóila, he's eating his veges, and hopefully getting full of them enough to not stuff himself. :)

You could always take up some kind of physical activity together.

I mean, of course, the will has to come from within, so if you do take up an activity, do it for fun, not wieght loss. Once you start getting active, lots more active stuff gets enjoyable.

So, was this advice any good?

Edit: An example of a good food:

[Omphaloskepsis]

13. Tell him that you love him.. And that you want to be the first to die..

And offer to take thirty minute walks every night. Make it an event. "I made a picnic, lets walk to the park and eat" You get my drift.

[EFerrari]

14. I hear you, Writer, we used to have the same cycle.

Can I ask, what has worked for him -- even in the least little way?