I just spent 2 days catsitting NORMAL cats and I come home

[graywarrior]

to my cat whom I realized is utterly and completely and totally insane and fucking OWNS me and ther is NO ESCAPE. Dear god in heaven, I am so fucked.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. What are these "normal" cats of which you speak?

Cats are never normal.

[graywarrior]

2. Cats who politely follow you into the kitchen for treaties, not

one who runs around the walls of your apartment screeching because one of you is in the bedroom and the other is in the living room and he can't "deal." Normal cats sleep all day. Mine chews fucking nails and spits them out at me. He chases the wind and is pissed off at the toilet. He's not normal.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. Indeed. A normal cat is afraid of the vacuum cleaner, not the toilet.

[graywarrior]

4. Mine fights with the toilet. Scratches at it, hisses at it...he needs

a shrink. So do I.

[Fenris]

5. Our deaf manx spent last night BANGING on our bedroom door(s)

(We have two pocket doors on either side of our bed) In addition, he decided it was screaming time, so he just wailed away for hours.

He wanted us to get up.

x(

[graywarrior]

6. Horrible, isn't it? Mine howls at 3 am every single day.

Howls til 5 am, then bitches at us while we stumble around the kitchen trying to "fix" whatever is wrong. Then the little psycho collapses into OUR bed, under the quilt and snoozes til 4 pm. And god help us if we want to take a nap.

[philosophie_en_rose]

12. what do you expect? you're in the cat's bed.

:P

This is why I have dogs. They'll share the bed.

You're just a pillow, but that's beside the point.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

14. So true...

And at least dogs act like they love you and are happy to see you. Freaking cats! :evilgrin:
Duckie

[ironflange]

16. Ha! We solved that problem!

We close ours in the basement every night. I take them down, give them their tuna treat, then close the door. Only problem seems to be that, since they sleep all night, they're up and causing more trouble during the day.

[astral]

7. My cat gets the heebie-jeebies at the sound of a plastic bag

You know how you come home from the grocery store and empty your groceries and then scrunch the bags up to put in a drawer? Or open up a replacement kitchen garbage bag to put in the can? My cat used to flee the room at the first sound of a 'scrunch,' but he's mellowed out now and just walks away or puts his ears back and looks at me in alarm if he was already laying down.

Other than that he's a big fluffy mellow cuddle box, if there ever was a **NOT*** high-strung cat, it's he!

I think somebody done bad things to him with plastic bags in his former life. (He's an older cat and I inherited him not too many years ago.)

[Stardust]

9. My cat hates bags, too, and she was never done bad things with em.

[Shakespeare]

17. Mine once tangled with a plastic grocery bag. Literally.

To this day, I cannot figure out how it happened. He met me at the door one night when I returned from work, with utter desperation and for-the-love-of-god-will-you-save-me-from-this-thing. He had somehow gotten himself halfway through one "handle" of the grocery bag, and was sporting it as some sort of skirt/cape combo.

My other cat just looked at me as if to say, "Dude, you have no idea what it's been like here. DO something." I don't know how long bagkitty had been tearing around the apartment trying to outrun the bag he was wearing, but he looked desperate and exhausted, and I laughed my ass off as I extricated him (it wasn't binding or hurting him in any way....just freaking him WAY the hell out).

[SoyCat]

8. I think cats only act normally for their sitters--never their owners.

[EFerrari]

10. Yeah, they case new people to see what they can get away with.

One of my cats won't eat unless I pet her for the first FOUR bites and she eats 32 times a day. To get my attention, she flys around the house at elbow level, yells, "Ma!" and if I don't pay attention, she swats at me and tries to eat me, the little gargoyle.

lol

[SoyCat]

11. Yep. Aren't cats fantastic? We cat people are so whipped...

[calico1]

13. Normal cats? Isn't that an oxymoron?

These other cats just didn't know you well, that's all.

My cats do a variety of interesting things including meowing and hissing at nothing..perhaps the ghosts of my departed kitties? Or one might be calmly lying down then all of a sudden start running around like a crazed maniac. I have one that likes to chase after the vacuum cleaner when I am using it, by the way. I tell her she is supposed to be scared of them but it obviously has not registered with her.

[graywarrior]

15. No, these cats were...catlike.

Mine is a fucking psycho. I'm convinced. He needs therapy, and so do I.