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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 09:59 AM
Original message
I saw a dead person last night and
I'm still freaked out. Out picking up food with friends and we came upon an accident. A guy on a scooter had been plowed down by a truck (who then fled). I don't want to get graphic, but I knew the guy was dead before I ever read the news this morning. I've never seen anything like it in real life. This was my first dead person outside of a showing at a funeral. I cried in the middle of the night and I can't stop thinking about him. Here's a link to the article: http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/9944014/detail.html

Any advice to help get this out of my head?
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:04 AM
Response to Original message
1. i can handle the sight of dead people pretty much
the SMELL of putrefaction, the smell of baking in the sun death is something i can never erase from my mind.
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RebelOne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:08 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Yes, the death part I can handle, but the smell is something
you will never forget. I discovered my neighbor's dead body in her house. Her car had been parked out front for 5 days and I knew she worked, but her car wasn't moved. I called the sheriff's department before I went in. I went into the house first because she had a dog that I knew would attack the officers because he didn't like uniforms. I walked toward the back bedroom and the smell hit me. I didn't have to look at her to know she was dead.
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:10 AM
Response to Reply #3
7. that odor sticks in your mouth for a few days afterwards
it is by far the most sickening thing to experience.
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:11 AM
Response to Reply #1
8. I've been around dead animals in a necropsy room
and that smell was the worst I've ever been around. Made me want to vomit.
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Jokerman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 11:07 AM
Response to Reply #1
19. The memory of a bad oder can be very strong.
When I was in college the house I was living in burned to the ground. I was able to salvage a few things including the car that was parked in the garage. The car wasn't damaged but the odor was overwhelming and required a professional cleaning to get rid of the foul smell.

Several years later I was walking down the street when I suddenly had this very dark feeling and became nauseous. It took me a few minutes to realize that it was something in the air that was making me feel sick. When I looked back down the block I saw that I had just walked by a house with recent fire damage.

The bad memories triggered by the odor that day only concerned the loss of property. I can't even imagine how strong they could be when they concern the loss of a life.

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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:04 AM
Response to Original message
2. OMG, momophile...
I don't have any idea how to make those thoughts stop, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you saw that. :hug: I'm even sorrier for the guy who was killed. :(
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:09 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. thank you.
I guess time will heal it.:hug:
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:09 AM
Response to Original message
5. I'm very sorry.
:hug:

I don't know of any way to unremember something like that. :(
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:14 AM
Response to Reply #5
9. thanks for the hug.
I needed that.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:10 AM
Response to Original message
6. OMG
That would freak me out, too. Please take care of yourself. You might want to talk to somebody, knowledgeable, who could have good advice for you during this stressful time..

..hugss..:hug: :hug: :hug:
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:15 AM
Response to Reply #6
10. thank you.
I'm waiting for a better hour to call my mom. She'll be able to help a bit.
:hug:
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miss_american_pie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:17 AM
Response to Original message
11. I'm so sorry
:hug:
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:44 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. thank you.
:hug:
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:23 AM
Response to Original message
12. I'm so sorry about the accident.
I really feel for you and for the deceased victim.

Like KC2 suggested, try to talk to someone who will listen
to you. There are a lot of feelings associated with witnessing death, and
they are confusing and traumatic.

I hope you feel better, soon.

:hug:
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:58 AM
Response to Reply #12
16. thanks for the needed hug.
and the good advice. I just talked with my mom and she made it a little better.
:hug:
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Tyler Durden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:33 AM
Response to Original message
13. Chocolate. Seriously.
Not only does it taste good, but the chemicals are mildly mind altering, and the smell is cloying.

Chocolate is good for most things. Even better than Ice Cream. Get a 1 pound bag of "Dove" milk chocolate miniatures, eat half and share the rest.
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:46 AM
Response to Reply #13
15. what an incredible suggestion.
this has got to be one of the best pieces of advise ever. I think I will. I'll reheat my coffee and get out the M&Ms.

then maybe I'll cry a bit more. thank you.
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Tyler Durden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 10:59 AM
Response to Reply #15
17. I have yet to find a disaster that Dove Miniatures won't ameliorate...
...at least just a little.

Having seen many dead people, but still remembering the first who died in front of me, I will tell you the sharp edges do come off.
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 12:39 PM
Response to Reply #15
29. sounds like something
out of Harry Potter
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dr.strangelove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 11:06 AM
Response to Original message
18. I am sorry, I saw something like that once
Seeing death can shake a person. I saw a man hit by a Taxi and killed maybe ten feet from me. It was terrible and I still get chills thinking about it (its been ten years). I tried to occupy my mind with sports and talking to friends, but whenever I was alone I kept replaying the crash (it was very graphic) in my mind. Good luck. I think its okay to think about it. Your mind is trying to deal with it. Try talking to your friends about how you are feeling.
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 11:08 AM
Response to Reply #18
20. thanks.
I guess that's why I brought it up here - I do need to talk about it. And my one-year old doesn't get it (nor do I want her to!).
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dr.strangelove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 11:43 AM
Response to Reply #20
22. yeah
its tough to share with a one year old. I have an eight month old who is great for hugs and giggles to make me feel better when I am down, but overall I try to shy away from displaying my negative feelings in front of the baby. Keep on using DU and your other friends to get through this. It is tough to think about death, but talking through it will help. Good luck again.
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 11:54 AM
Response to Reply #18
24. i was leaving the U of I hospital in chicago
and waiting for a cab.

all of a sudden, i heard this dull thud and a really loud scraping sound. some dude standing by the curb was clipped by a car and dragged a few feet. he was lucky in a way because it happened right in front of the ER entrance.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 11:08 AM
Response to Original message
21. make an appointment with a therapist soonest possible
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Javaman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
23. I'm sorry that you had to experience that...
The first one is always the toughest. Sadly, I have been in situations where I have seen many people dead or in the process of dying. (not in a peaceful hallmark family special way).

They are very emotional events. And you are doing the best thing by talking about it.

Keeping in does yourself no good, trust me on that one.

Keep in mind that death is part of life. Sadly, some deaths are not as easy to take as others, but never the less, it's still something that happens.

Peace be with you. Reflect and understand.
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 11:57 AM
Response to Reply #23
25. thanks for the words
every bit of it helps.
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 12:02 PM
Response to Original message
26. Wow! This was just up the street from me
I saw my first dead person when I was about 7. Very similar to your incident. We drove by an accident and the guy who was on the motorcycle was laying dead in the street.

I have watched two people die. One strangled himself on some furniture after an epileptic attack. I'll never forget how blue his face was.

Another guy had a heart attack at our cabin. We did CPR from a first aid book and by the time the helicopter arrived, I knew he was gone.

The best advice I can offer is to keep busy and to keep working.That's what I did.
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. hi neighbor
I imagine I'll think about this poor guy every time I go through this intersection.
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rustydog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
28. Talk about it to friends, family whoever is kind enough to listen
It is called debriefing and it can help imensely.
The first time I performed CPR on a baby the baby did not make it.
(None of the babies made it come to think of it.)
I walked outside the ER and cried. An ED RN took me inside and had me talk about it. It does help.
(although I just teared up remembering that babies face, I can deal with it now.)


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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 02:16 PM
Response to Reply #28
31. thanks. it seems to be good just talking about it here.
thank you.
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4morewars Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 12:40 PM
Response to Original message
30. Witnessing death reminds us of our own mortality,
whether conscious or sub-conscious, it is often a very uncomfortable feeling.

As time passes, you will stop obsessing over it, and it will become a memory.
No doubt a vivid, chilling memory, as witnessed by many of the responses upthread.

That's my 2 cents. Life is short, enjoy it when you can.
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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-27-06 02:17 PM
Response to Reply #30
32. thanks for your thoughtful words. nt
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