Popeye Angry At Spinach Detractors

[Wetzelbill]

POPEYE ANGRY AT SPINACH DETRACTORS

Noted spinach enthusiast and cartoon icon Popeye The Sailor man is angry at the latest backlash against his favorite food.

“First, people didn’t like the taste, now they say it causes E. coli, ugh ugh ugh!” Popeye laughed, “ what’s next?”

It may not be so much a matter of “What’s next?” as “What now?” Spinach is a highly nutritious food, yet concerns over production are legitimate due to the recent health scare. Spinach has been linked to two E. Coli deaths and over one hundred and fifty sicknesses, although, this reporter’s notion is just eating that shit might make you sick in the first place. Popeye believes otherwise.

“I think our country has become sissified. Soft. Like you, fer instance (Points a scraggly finger at me) yer soft, short, have girlish fingers and a beer belly.” (Ironically, I wrote that same description of my self in my new autobiography: “Bill Wetzel: The Man Who Couldn’t Reach The Top Shelf”) “You need muscles, boy, I fight squids, octopuses and sharks, I could pin you with one arm.”

Before I could answer myself, the octogenarian with the heavily muscled forearms, leaped on me with great fury, not knowing that I am a former all-state and internationally competitive wrestler, fifty years younger than him. We battled back and forth on the boat, an old man with a corncob pipe and misshapen forearms, against a short, chubby, guy with bad eyesight and irresistible charm. (ok that’s a lie, my eyesight is not that bad)

In other words, it was a classic matchup.

After surviving a vicious harpoon lashing, I was able to mount a furious comeback. I unleashed a variety of moves, on him, lefts and right hands, fingers to the eye, finally I had him fish hooked and it was all but over.

Then the fucker pulled out a can of spinach.

I knew I was in deep trouble.

I tried to stop him. See that is the thing, I always wondered why Bluto and all those clowns let Popeye pull out a can of spinach and open it in the first place, but let me tell you this, that guy is quick on the draw. He got his spinach.

I got my beating.

I woke up in a hospital, with severe forearm burns to the left side of my face.

In the next bed was Popeye.
Near death from E. Coli poisoning.

So how do you like those apples, old man!

Oh yeah, don’t eat spinach. That shit is fucked up right now.

Seriously.

All you truly need to know is the problem might be rectified by regulating and implementing proper MANURE treatments.

I have no idea how the hell manure fits in with the production of spinach. Maybe has something to do with the farming and so on. I am not sure I want to know.

But it does go a long way in explaining why spinach, does indeed, taste like shit.

(stay tuned for my essay on why asparagus makes urine smell like a rotting carcass)

[rockymountaindem]

1. LOL

:rofl:

[Wetzelbill]

2. Mission accomplished

:)

[rockymountaindem]

3. Indeed

Well played

[mykpart]

4. Popeye likes to eat Olive oil with his spinach!

yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck.

[Wetzelbill]

5. rimshot!!!!!