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Confessions from a Fundie Childhood, Part 1

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BrightBlueDot Donating Member (160 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 06:54 PM
Original message
Confessions from a Fundie Childhood, Part 1
I don't know if this is exactly a Lounge thread, but I'm too scared of GD. :scared:

Just now, I was out on the balcony of my apartment adding to my Hallowe'en decorations. I love Hallowe'en. It's my favorite holiday; I look forward to it the way that most people look forward to Christmas. I was stretching out some of that neat spider web stuff when I remembered something from being a fundie kid growing up in a fundie church and fundie school.

We were, of course, NEVER permitted to celebrate Hallowe'en. We couldn't even dress up as Bible characters and eat candy at church, the way that some churches handled it. It was the devil's holiday, and we were constantly warned in the weeks before it arrived that Satanists were out to find children to sacrifice. (This was during the Satanic Panic of the mid-to-late 80's.) Our black cat, Sam, was never allowed outside from about Labor Day through November 1. If this sounds like Jack Chick tract bullshit, it is. We were given those to hand out to the neighborhood kids who came by in their costumes having fun and expecting candy.

At one point, an orange tract that was, I think, put out by Willie George ministries, out of Tulsa, became very popular. It was a dire warning against making a pact with the demons of Hell by celebrating the devil's day.

Well, I was a good little fundie kid. I believed the bullshit as much as any child can be said to "believe" anything. I started questioning at 11 or 12 and rejected it all entirely by 14. So, when the neighbors started decorating their houses, and the preacher suggested we pass this tract out to neighbors, I did. I marched down the street and gave it to a girl who was 14 or 15 years old, who was decorating her house. She was the oldest in a family of six kids -- a family I was jealous of. They were a close, loving family who did things together constantly and really seemed to love each other. They were what my mother called "good heathens," meaning that they weren't Christians, but she wasn't terribly worried that they would corrupt me. It wasn't as if they were black, Jewish, or Catholic, after all. :eyes:

Anyway, I gave her the tract and went home all proud of myself for being a good little warrior for Jesus.

A few hours later, her parents called my mother freaking. Their daughter was hysterical when they got home, insisting she didn't want to go to hell and was never going to have anything to do with Hallowe'en again! She had destroyed the decorations on both the outside and inside of the house.

They were livid. They had spent $100 on Hallowe'en stuff for their kids, and the oldest had earned the right to decorate the outside of the house by having the best idea for how to do it. This was a major family project, now ruined.

At the time, I was proud of myself. (I was 8 or 9 and 100% brainwashed.)

Today, I feel really guilty about that. I'm not sure if that incident is part of why I love Hallowe'en so much as an adult -- the fact that, as a child, I wasn't allowed to enjoy it AND part of my childhood brainwashing was taking the fun away from other kids, too -- but now, a good 15 years past rejecting the bullshit of fundamentalism, I absolutely adore Hallowe'en. I give the best candy of anybody in my complex, and every child within five miles knows it. :D

I don't know why I felt like sharing that story. Thanks to anyone who listened for long enough to get this far. There are few people in Red State Hell who I can talk to about this stuff.

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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 07:00 PM
Response to Original message
1. Excellent story.
:thumbsup::thumbsup:
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YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 07:11 PM
Response to Original message
2. We were told the same things...
But our church had a halloween party...that none of the youth ever went to. It was for the little ones. Anyway, we always handed out candy, and my family was never that psycho. My grandmother even handed out candy and took pictures of all the little kids who came by her house for candy and kept track of how many came by. It was fun. As the number of kids who came by dropped off, my grandma was saddened by it.
Anyway, I'm sorry your fundy church was so terrible. Your parents should have paid for those decorations. Damn, how horrible was that! Parents who force their kids into religion piss me off. The kids should be allowed to figure it out for themselves once they are old enough to be logical.
Anyway, here's to halloween! I love it, too. We were just talking about how we were going to decorate this year! I REALLY want to decorate my balcony, even though it would only be us who see it really. Target has some cool as hell shit this year.
Duckie
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BrightBlueDot Donating Member (160 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 07:14 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. I went to Target today!
They have some really awesome stuff. Some if it's a little pricey, but I snapped up the candy bowl with the motion-activated severed hand in the middle. :D I'll keep a regular candy bowl for the little-little kids, but the ones who are old enough to be trick-or-treating without a parent or babysitter are getting their candy from the scary bowl! LOL.

I think you should definitely decorate your balcony, even if only you and yours would see it. I decorate the inside of my apartment, too, even though I live alone. It makes me happy, so it's worth the time, money, and effort.

My parents definitely should have paid for the decorations. My fundie childhood did one thing, though, that I appreciate -- it completely inoculated me against religion. It was like a vaccine, LOL.

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unsavedtrash Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 07:16 PM
Response to Original message
4. are you related to me?
Damn, I could have told a story very similar to that. No Halloween, brainwashed until about age 15 then flat out refused to enter our church again.
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BrightBlueDot Donating Member (160 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Maybe so!
I'm related to most of North Alabama (I have over 40 male cousins, and almost all of them have kids). I was 16 when I invited my parents to bodily carry me into church or else leave me alone. LOL.
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Generic Brad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 07:49 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Has your family attempted to exorcise you?
Or did they just banish you forever? Once someone calls "bullshit" on the stuff their parents drill into their heads they are usually not welcomed any longer.
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BrightBlueDot Donating Member (160 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 07:57 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. In my case, they still have hope.
All the stuff in the Middle East has my mother, especially, convinced that The Rapture is going to happen in ten minutes, so she constantly tries to get me to go to church, buys me things, and otherwise does everything she can to stay on my good side. I never manipulate her -- I NEVER imply there's a chance I'll go back to fundamentalism -- but since I'm always honest, I figure what the hell? If she wants to purchase my fall wardrobe, well, okay. :shrug:
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unsavedtrash Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 08:31 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. I was disowned for some time
But I called their bluff and disappeared for over a year with absolutely no contact with any family. After about a year and a half my mom hired a PI to find me. She got my address and asked me to please come home. They sort of accept me now but we stick to "safe" subjects in conversations.
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tinfoil tiaras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
8. Thats insane
My church is christian (hell, it's BAPTIST) and they still have a halloween party and everything and people don't belive all that stupid "halloween will send you to hell" bullshit. I go to a christian (episcopal) school and we dress up for halloween at school. The fundies you were talking about are a small minority in the total christian population.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I love halloween too. Its my second favorite holiday after christmas.

:D :hug:
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Missy Vixen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
9. I destroyed all my records
After all, rock n' roll was "sinful" and "of the devil". I now own almost 500 CD's, and they're definitely not church sanctioned. I got called out from the pulpit for going to my senior prom. Dancing was "sinful". We were forced to listen to some "former Satanist" (Mike Warnke?) extol the soul-killing powers of Halloween every year as well. Of course, I decorate now and look forward to Halloween each year.

I left the church in my 20's. I felt like I needed to be deprogrammed.

Julie
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BrightBlueDot Donating Member (160 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. Mike Warnke!!!!!
OMG, we heard his bullshit all the time! I had to do a book report on The Satan Seller, his book, my senior year in fundie school!

Guess what?? It was all a big fat hoax!! Google the poor schmuck and find out that he's been totally discredited. LOL.
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ikojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
11. October is my favorite month...
it starts with my sister's birthday on October 1 and ends with my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE holiday, HALLOWEEN!!!

What's not to like?
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BrightBlueDot Donating Member (160 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 08:42 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. I'm with you!
The changing leaves, the chill in the air, Halloween....October rules!
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 08:40 PM
Response to Original message
12. thank you for posting your story, BrightBlueDot...
:hi:
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BrightBlueDot Donating Member (160 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. thanks for listening
:hi:
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