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Better yet, how did you know that person WASN'T "the one"?

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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 02:56 PM
Original message
Better yet, how did you know that person WASN'T "the one"?
Edited on Sun Sep-24-06 02:58 PM by HEyHEY
For me it was the faked pregnancy... especially since I'd never slept with her. She wasn't very sharp.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 02:57 PM
Response to Original message
1. Yeah, that'd be a good reason...
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 02:57 PM
Response to Original message
2. I think I figured it out when he tried to kill me. Even I can take a hint.
:shrug:
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:25 PM
Response to Reply #2
32. ...
:wow:
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #32
37. Twice
Jesus, I wish the asshole had been that singleminded about work, financial responsibility, fidelity, washing his own nasty socks, something...
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:50 PM
Response to Reply #37
40. Damn.
I'm glad you got away from that one ...
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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 09:51 PM
Response to Reply #2
48. OMFG
I knew we had something more in common than progressive politics and good looks. ;)
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BelleCarolinaPeridot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 02:58 PM
Response to Original message
3. When he beat me up. Attempted to throw me down a flight of stairs.
And when he told me he would bury me in the woods to keep me from leaving Germany. He was loving me to death ...
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:00 PM
Response to Original message
4. She suggested we see other people after dating 2 1/2 years.
When my response was to break up with her she begged me to take her back, but I wasn't willing to take any more crap. Although, I really should have known after something she did on our third date and I should have followed my instincts.
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BarenakedLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:02 PM
Response to Original message
5. The constant lies
were a hint.
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:06 PM
Response to Original message
6. "I love you but i am not in love with you" When you hear that it's
pretty cut and dry.
:)
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Kutjara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 09:52 PM
Response to Reply #6
49. Definitely, it's the biggest cheesy line ever.
Right up there with, "I love you as a friend."
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 09:20 AM
Response to Reply #49
66. Oh yeah It probably was the suckiest thing ever said to me
No one should have to hear those words
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 03:10 PM
Response to Reply #6
75. Anyone who says that after graduating high school
needs to be put back in high school.
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:06 PM
Response to Original message
7. When she asked me to help her bury a dead hooker.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:08 PM
Response to Original message
8. When she wouldn't shut the fuck up.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 10:41 PM
Response to Reply #8
57. You must have dated my sister.
:rofl:
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:08 PM
Response to Original message
9. Never admitting she was wrong, trying to pass everything off as my fault,
Edited on Sun Sep-24-06 03:09 PM by ZombieNixon
the cheating was pretty good hint. :shrug:

(I'm laughing so hard about this right now. :D :rofl:)
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:10 PM
Response to Original message
10. When I found out that he couldn't keep his pants zipped.
Edited on Sun Sep-24-06 03:26 PM by SeattleGirl
I was lucky I didn't contract a disease. :grr:
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Kat45 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
11. When I realized he truly had no libido.
!
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av8rdave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
12. for me it was the actual pregnancy...and I'm "fixed"
needless to say, that one isn't an ongoing relationship anymore!
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hotforteacher Donating Member (296 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:25 PM
Response to Original message
13. When he said
That was great! The next person I date, I am going to do this with them!*

Charming. :eyes:
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Flying Dream Blues Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. omg...smooth, huh?
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av8rdave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:28 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. omg....he must have gone to finishing school to learn that one!
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:28 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Whoa, that is twisted.
Really smooth.

:eyes:

:rofl:
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hotforteacher Donating Member (296 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:33 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. That's only the tip of the iceberg.
And I will attempt to be classy and just shut up about the rest.

Hell, I just thought it was because he was drunk...but no, it was just because of the obvious. :freak:
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 04:36 PM
Response to Reply #13
24. Oh that's a great way to announce casual intentions!
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shanti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:24 PM
Response to Reply #13
31. sheesh, cold mf'er, wasn't he?
:wow:
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hotforteacher Donating Member (296 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 09:32 PM
Response to Reply #31
42. One might say that...one might.
Ah well...at least I can sleep at night.

:smoke:
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 09:47 PM
Response to Reply #13
46. Details..
... please :)
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 10:06 PM
Response to Reply #13
52. How many times do I have to apologize for that!?
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hotforteacher Donating Member (296 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 10:14 PM
Response to Reply #52
53. It might mean something if you
would stop screwing all of my friends, okay?!!

Put your mouth where your...uh...I mean, put your money...uh...

Nevermind. :rofl:
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spacelady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 10:28 PM
Response to Reply #13
54. Got that beat if I wanted to brag.
After "the deed" asked me if I thought my best friend would like to go out with him. I mean while still in bed. That was, to say the least, interesting.
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hotforteacher Donating Member (296 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #54
55. I can't top the friend thing, but this was in bed post-coitus.
*shudder*
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spacelady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #55
60. Yeah, it was righteous indignation hammer time. BUT, the happy
time was when I met my true soulmate at age 26 - when you least expect it.....





Makes all the loser shit worth it & maybe I was not in a place to appreciate true love at age 22 & would have blown it if I would have met my one love at that age. So, timing is all.
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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 10:44 PM
Response to Reply #13
59. roflmao!!!!
that is fucking hysterical!

:rofl:
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:31 PM
Response to Original message
17. When he started talking.
The worst one-night stand ever.

I was much younger. I'd gone to a halloween party at a local night club, clearly looking to get some. I was dressed as a "little girl"--big lolly pop, tiny lacy skirt, bobby socks, shiny shoes, rouged knees, pig-tails in ribbons, cherry cool-aid mouth, teddy bear.

I met a really cute guy dressed as Charlie Chaplin. He was doing the whole character...silent, great moves...a very good dancer.

He continued the role-play all the way to my house. He was pretty decent in bed. But in the morning...

Oh My God! I don't think I've ever met anyone so dumb and rude! I couldn't get him out of my house fast enough.

I was surprised that such an obnoxious choad would be into chaplin...but I wasn't looking for anything more than one night anyway.

Apparently, however, he was, and couldn't understand why I hadn't fallen in love with him instantly. It took me hours to get rid of him.

Anyway, before going to bed with someone, even for a superficial fling, it's probably best to have at least one conversation with the person first.
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billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:34 PM
Response to Original message
19. Oh, when I ask them
Always. I have given up bothering to do that. I just assume every person isn't the one - it saves time and effort.
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BarenakedLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:38 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. Oh...
:hug:

You just haven't stumbled across any of them yet.

Here's my elbow

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billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. Thank you
:hug:

Nice elbow! :D We will have to construct a montage of you over time. ;)
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Madrone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
22. Well - the extreme drunkeness,
stalking, poisoning my dog, slashing my tires and tapping my phone were pretty good indications. :shrug:
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Pool Hall Ace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 03:48 PM
Response to Original message
23. When he insisted that I would want a big wedding and lots of
babies someday. Even though I had previously told him I did not want either.

Because that's what all women want! :eyes:

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momophile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 04:40 PM
Response to Original message
25. him saying my ass was fat.
granted, it still took me several years to let him go. but the ass comment started the downhill trip.
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 04:46 PM
Response to Original message
26. Pretty much when she said she was leaving.
Clear as mud.
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LynzM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 04:49 PM
Response to Original message
27. When I moved away for a semester....
And my stomach stopped hurting from guilt and worry :(
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shanti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:27 PM
Response to Reply #27
33. pretty good indicator, that
i was with one guy who made me have panic attacks and palpitations. when i kicked his ass out, the problems stopped too.
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LynzM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:48 PM
Response to Reply #33
39. Oh dude, that sucks....
:hug: My situation wasn't that bad, just that when I moved, suddenly I felt "free" again, free from the worry, and that told me a lot. I'm glad you got out of your bad situation!
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Ptah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 04:52 PM
Response to Original message
28. Our children were three and four years old.
Instead of returning from a 'night out with the girls'
she sent an emissary to inform me that she wouldn't
be home to care for our children while I went to work,
because 'Randy' had broken both his arms while they were riding
his motorcyle DRUNK.

She had to be with him in the emergency room, don cha no.



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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 09:54 PM
Response to Reply #28
50. Jesus Christ.
:hug:
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Ptah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #50
74. Oh yeah.
I still have a difficult time trusting anyone enough to
be involved.

:cry:

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bluethruandthru Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 04:52 PM
Response to Original message
29. When he told me he was happy to be rid of his last girlfriend
because she liked to READ! Gawd he was dumb! More than two syllables made his eyes cross! But, he was cute! :evilgrin:
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shanti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:23 PM
Response to Original message
30. when he slugged me in the chest while i was driving
:( first time EVER being hit (and last). took me by surprise, but i got out of that one pretty damn quick!
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fortyfeetunder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
34. A couple of beers and a true confessions story
The discussion over a couple of beers -- the first beer gave me the courage to ask the questions and bear the answers, and afterwards, I was pleased to know I did make the right decision. Yeah!

:woohoo:
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alarimer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:33 PM
Response to Original message
35. When I found out he'd lied about being divorced
And a bunch of other lies but that was the biggie.
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
36. These should have made me dump my first serious bf sooner
"I had really wanted to go out with your sister but you turned out to be ok."
"Those are nice colleges you want to go to in the future, but you are going to have to go to a place that I can get in."
"If the reason that I can't go to your after prom party is because of (me) then I can drop her off before I go" He said that to a so called friend who was having a party but hadn't invited him. The "friends" response was "(Me) isn't a problem, she can come to the party if she wants, but I don't want you there."
"I don't think you should take physics because it is hard and you might not do well. If you do though, I suppose I could help you out." He got a D in physics.
"Who the fuck cares?" At the school academic award ceremony when I was getting awards.
"Whatever you do don't tell my dad I am here" After he arrives at my house with a shattered windshield and a cut hand and tells me how he isn't going to get to participate in graduation after cussing out the vice president on the last day of school.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #36
68. Sounds like something from an Onion parody article. nt
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 05:36 PM
Response to Original message
38. Both cases
When they beat the shit out of me.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 03:14 PM
Response to Reply #38
76. Damn.
I'm hope they are permanently locked up somewhere. :hug:

It seems that there are so many assholes out there. And it's hard to know in advance who they are.
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LadyoftheRabbits Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 07:49 PM
Response to Original message
41. When he started to...
dismiss me like a child and act holier-than-thou and "I'm right about everything" all of the time. That might have been a hint. :eyes:
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Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 09:35 PM
Response to Original message
43. When I wasn't far enough to the left for her. ME! For crying out loud.
Also, she stopped returning my calls... B-)
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 09:39 PM
Response to Original message
44. When he called me a slut...
especially since I'd never slept with him. And he hooked up with, like, 5 other girls while we were going out.

Honestly. :wtf:

(This was EvilJohn; this was only the tip of the iceberg.)
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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 09:41 PM
Response to Original message
45. When I found out
he'd been dating another woman - while we were living together...
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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 09:51 PM
Response to Original message
47. Well, it was either when she held the gun to my temple, or when she
tore the shades off my dorm room window, jumped out, and went running off, saying she was going to throw herself off the cliff. (There was a very steep hill at the end of the parking lot.)

Not kidding.

I'm fine now. Really. :hi:
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MountainLaurel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 10:01 PM
Response to Original message
51. When he said "I'd never LET my wife do that"
Not to mention the fact that on our first date he told me:

* "I've tried to commit suicide nine times."
* "The reason I don't have a car is that when my last girlfriend broke up with me I drove it into a tree."
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 10:40 PM
Response to Original message
56. The moment he wouldn't let go of me when I asked him too.
He had a habit of creating arguments that didn't exist...saying I was mad at him when I wasn't. On one of these occasions, he grabbed my wrist, and refused to let go until I told him what was bugging me. So I told him it really bugged me that he wouldn't let go of my wrist. I distanced myself from him after that.
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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-24-06 10:42 PM
Response to Original message
58. when she tried to get frisky during "Beloved"
that is the most mind-fucking movie of all time, that I've seen anyway (I'm still not right) and she tries to pull the touchy-feely crap...wtf.

Of course I still dated her for another year or so anyway.

Great topic for a thread.
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Drum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 12:31 AM
Response to Original message
61. When we broke up,
all of our (formerly mute)friends and colleagues immediately told me that they were relieved, and that they never could understand why I was with her. Love my friends, but I wish they'd saved me that couple of years. :shrug:
Still, those years with her baby son (from a previous relationship) were great for me, a sort of trial parenting that was beautiful....
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 12:55 AM
Response to Original message
62. I told him I couldn't have kids and then he cut me out of his life.
Like, stopped contact that very week. He was so efficient and remorseless about it, too. Big "not the right guy" clue right there.
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 01:20 AM
Response to Reply #62
63. yikes, what a dick
I've never understood that line of thought. With all the little kids that need good homes in this world....
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 01:24 AM
Response to Reply #63
64. Yeah, after three years of lying about being okay with my not wanting them
Edited on Mon Sep-25-06 01:25 AM by BlueIris
anyway. But you see, once he discovered he could no longer use me as a device to produce his "proof" that he was obviously a straight, straight man, I was no longer helpful to him or his plans, so I had to go. It all makes sense when you look at it from his perspective.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 03:17 PM
Response to Reply #62
77. Not only wasn't he Mr Right.
he wasn't even a decent human being. Damn.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 09:17 AM
Response to Original message
65. About two years into the relationship, he started talking about
how he was "not monogamous by nature" and didn't ever want to get married. When we first started dating, I had agreed to an open relationship, but I was 17 and naive when the discussion took place. I didn't really understand the meaning of "open", but I soon found out. :( I never once brought up the subject of marriage, and to be honest, I was a teenager and not ready to even entertain the idea of marriage. Marriage was not foremost on my mind, even through my late 20s. However, when he started the "not monogamous" discussion, he told me he didn't ever want to get married to anyone. When I asked him if he would ever reconsider that decision, he said no.

Well, a year after we broke up, he married his first wife. They divorced after a little over two years. He's been married to his second wife for a few years now.

Yeah, he definitely wasn't "the one".
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 10:48 AM
Response to Original message
67. Mom about GF: "She's a genetic defect."
While I don't generally defer to my mother's judgment on these kinds of things, that remark after meeting the GF for the first time underscored misgivings I already had.
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regularguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 11:31 AM
Response to Original message
69. When I realized that in six months I hadn't had a satisfactory hug.
Cold, cold, cold.
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Amaya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
70. When he told me after 1 1/2 years " I don't want this"
"I'm scared" "I'm a fuck up" "i'll disappoint you"
He's a real noble guy...
:eyes:
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ContraBass Black Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 01:55 PM
Response to Original message
71. Because I was delusional and narcissistic, I didn't get it until a year
After I was discarded, when I overcame the mental block and stopped denying the abuse and infidelity.
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kwassa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
72. When I had to smack her head against the wall to get her teeth out of
my arm, which she was biting as hard as she could.

That was a hint.

She had just tried to bean me with the toaster, but hadn't unplugged it. It flew about three feet, stopped dead by the cord, and crashed into the floor.

My sole experience with domestic violence. Former fiancee.
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Divameow77 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
73. When he "hacked" into my email
We had been married 4 1/2 years and he didn't trust me I guess.
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LiberalHeart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 03:34 PM
Response to Original message
78. When he cheated during a card game.
It was at the home of friends. He wasn't just kidding around; he was trying to win the money on the table and didn't think he'd get caught. One of the players caught him and called him on it. In that moment I saw him with new clarity, and it was over.
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Hong Kong Cavalier Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 03:36 PM
Response to Original message
79. When she burned her arm with a curling iron...
...because I'd called and said I was running 10 minutes late, and wasn't
going to be able to stop by there when I said I was going to.

She liked to hurt herself a bit. Or threaten to hurt herself.
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sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 03:37 PM
Response to Original message
80. Oh I have plenty
seeing how I have yet to find "the one."
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