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So I just said to my son: "Just because you know you can't win,

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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:35 PM
Original message
So I just said to my son: "Just because you know you can't win,
that's no reason not to play anyway."

It seemed like it made sense to him.

I, however, haven't the faintest idea what the hell I meant by that.

Do you?

Redstone
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lizziegrace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
1. By not even trying
you abandon all hope. And hope is all we have some days. He's just learning it the way a kid can.

:)
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:44 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. So it was good that I told him that, yes?
That's a relief. Guess I haven't gotten to that point of irrelevance yet...he still listens to me and understands what I'm telling him, even if I don't.

That certainly makes me feel better.

Redstone
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lizziegrace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:53 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. It may have sounded hollow to you
but it's the first time for him. He needs these snippets of wisdom from his father. They *really* do listen. :hug:

Keep talking to him.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:59 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. This kid has been talked to almost every waking moment of
his life. Mrs R and I used to be astounded when we'd take him to the grocery store and see other parents who shopped away with not ONE word to the kid in the cart. How can you be with your kid for 45 minutes, and not talk to him (or her)?

In fact, 15 minutes after he was born, I walked him around the hospital for almost an hour while they stitched up Mrs R's C-section, and never stopped talking to him about the "big, big world out there" the whole time.

So no worries. I'll continue to be a motormouth with him. As will Mrs R.

Redstone
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lizziegrace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:00 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. I guess what I meant is
repeat what seems obvious or even cliche to you. He's new to all this. :)
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:21 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. Oh yes, I understood (and appreciated) what you said. I was just
mentioning how important it is for parents to (pretty much constantly) yack with their kids, and how sad it is when parents don't do that.

Redstone
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lizziegrace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:22 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. Lelapin can attest to the fact
that I talked to her constantly. ;)

Like you, I don't know any other way. :)
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:27 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. Yes. And the ONLY bit of advice my mother ever gave me was:
Never, NEVER talk baby-talk to a baby.

And I appreciate her saving such an important bit of advice for her only one.

Redstone

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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
2. I have an idea.
There's joy in just participating. You should do things because you find them enjoyable, not just because you can win.

How's that for off-the-cuff?
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:54 PM
Response to Reply #2
13. How's it for off-the-cuff? It's excellent, that's what it is. I believe
you know me better than I do myself, because it sounds like that's what I was trying to say.

I think. I can never be sure of anything, but this analysis works (and makes me seem wise in the process).

Redstone
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:42 PM
Response to Original message
3. There are many reasons for playing.........
Winning is only one of them.....and it's by far not the most important, IMHO!

Good for you, my dear Redstone!

Your unconscious mind knew what you were doing....

Even if your conscious mind didn't!

:yourock:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:01 PM
Response to Reply #3
16. Well, I guess I have good instincts even when I''m oblivious
on the outside...helluva good survival skill that is, yes? I bet it's what kept us ADD types from being booted out of the gene pool.

Going to go look for your earrings now.

Redstone
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pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
4. not really, context is all
that's really terrible advice when applied to say playing poker or blackjack, the intelligent person doesn't waste their limited life energy playing games they can't win

i guess it's OK applied to say, frisbee
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:51 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. I don't gamble. I'm damn good at both poker and and B-jack, but won't play
them for money. So that doesn't apply. Was being mor metaphysical than practical.

You know (and this IS a compliment), this is the first time I can remember that you haven't been 100% on the mark-in your own inimitable way-in a post about pretty much anything.

An enviable record which I wish I could match myself.

I always look forward to reading anything you have to say, whether I agree with the sentiment in your post or not. Truth.

Just thought you'd like to know that you're appreciated.

Redstone
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bluethruandthru Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
5. Makes perfect sense!
Just playing is fun! Who cares about winning (well, at least some of the time!) :evilgrin:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:31 PM
Response to Reply #5
23. You betcha. Now PLEASE answer me to I can be the proud recipient
of your thousandth post? Pretty please?

Redstone
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bluethruandthru Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #23
28. With great pleasure
I bestow upon you my 1000th post! :toast:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:51 PM
Response to Reply #28
31.  I consider this an honor. Now I can go to sleep, because I'm happy
and fulfilled. May I be the first to congratulate you on reaching the Big 1K?

From now on, you'll be free of the nagging impulse to look at your post count up in the corner of your posts, because it will say only "1,000+ posts" from this day forward.

Redstone


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bluethruandthru Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #31
34. Thank you Redstone!
I feel strangely fulfilled at having reached 1000. Weird, huh? If I still smoked...I'd have one right now! :smoke:

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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:11 PM
Response to Reply #34
38. Have one anyway. Just one. You know it won't get you started again...
Redstone
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
7. Yes.
Edited on Sat Sep-23-06 07:45 PM by Gormy Cuss
Carpe Diem.

He knows that playing, not just winning, is a big part of the joy.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:33 PM
Response to Reply #7
24. You're a true New Englander. You just KNOW stuff like this,
without needing anyone to tell you.

I'm glad you're here at DU.

Redstone
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #24
30. And I'm heading home
just for a visit but still I look forward to being around Mainers for a few days, not to mention enjoying all those fine ocean delicacies that you must eschew.
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MoseyWalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
8. something in that loss will be learned
and will cause a greater possibility for a future win.

Go team go!
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #8
32. As usual, you get it. Even if I don't. It's damn good to have you around.
Redstone
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pauliedangerously Donating Member (843 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:45 PM
Response to Original message
9. It makes perfect sense and it means many things
You play sports for fun, and even if you lose you're competing and improving your game.

Your statement, whatever it means exactly, really takes the bite out of losing.

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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #9
25. I don't think we've met, but I'm pleased to meet you. And if we've indeed
crossed paths already, and I don't remember us having done so, it's not personal - it's just that I tend to forget things. Ask anyone around here if that's true, and they'll tell you that it is.

It's not the drugs. Really. it's the four concussions.

Redstone
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pauliedangerously Donating Member (843 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #25
36. Dude, I've seen some of your posts
But our paths haven't crossed. I'm terrible about remembering details, I throw out comments every once in a while, but I haven't really had a lot of back and fourth interaction with anyone here except for HypnoToad.

Pleased to meet you. You sound like a cool dad.

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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #36
41. Thank you. I try. Tonight, I told my son that the DARE program is full of
shit and doesn't work worth a damn to keep kids from doing crank or scag or crack.

How many parents have the courage to tell their kids THAT truth?

Redstone
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pauliedangerously Donating Member (843 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:25 PM
Response to Reply #41
44. Yeah, ya know
I think someone had the right idea about that, but nothing beats getting it from an informed parent. I'm not sure what the fuck they tell people in that program, but it's anything like the bullshit they puked at me in high school and the threats my old man made it wouldn't accomplish their objective. All that would do for me is arouse my curiosity.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:32 PM
Response to Reply #44
47. It's worse than you can imagine. They tell the kids that caffeine
and nicotine are "precursor drugs" that lead people to, say, shooting scag and smoking crack. Could there be ANYTHING more delusional?

When my older son came home years ago and solemnly informed me that the coffee I was drinking had a DRUG in it, you can imagine the subsequent explosion.

I'm not going to let that happen with the younger guy.

Redstone
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pauliedangerously Donating Member (843 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:47 PM
Response to Reply #47
51. Idiots
Baby formula leads to prison. I think they do that shit to encourage drug use. Think of all of the jobs it creates. Fucking dumbasses. They are trying to instill GUILT and FEAR in youth.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #51
52. My older son asked me, "If drugs are so bad, why do people
take them?"

That was the moment I realized just how full of shit the DARE program is. I said, "you mean they didn't TELL you why peopledo drugs?"

He told me no, they didn't.

Which led to a long conversation in which I explained to him (as his school did NOT) about hos cocaine made you feel like a new man...but then the new man wanted some too...

They're too chickenshit to tell the kids that the danger of hardcore drugs is that they make you feel good for a little while (and with Hell to pay thereafter).

The kids are smart and savvy enough to understand this. But the DARE program treats them like they're infants and idiots.

Redstone
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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 07:50 PM
Response to Original message
10. You're a great dad
Seriously. :hug:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:12 PM
Response to Reply #10
39. I do the best I can. Which is all anyone can do.
Redstone
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:04 PM
Response to Original message
17. LOL! You meant sometimes doing things is the end, not the means.
I used to say things to my kids all the time that I had *NO* clue about.

:toast:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:47 PM
Response to Reply #17
29. But the kids had a clue, didn't they? Probably because they're
smarter than we are.

I understand that, and do not feel threatened by it; not like the time my old man went ballistic when he found out that I was making more money per year at 19 years old than he had during his whole working life - Christ, I'd be ecstatic if one of my kids did that. (Even if only because it would mean he'd be able to provide for me in my rapidly-approaching dotage.)

PS: Still sorry about you losing your pooch. Your post reminded me of when my 16-year old beagle slipped away. She was a good dog, and my best friend for years, never even abandoning me through years of surgeries and therapies. Never impatient to walk slowly and stay with me while I hobbled around on my crutches.

Redstone
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #29
40. My whole family is officially in mourning. I didn't know
that she was theirs, too.

:hug:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:19 PM
Response to Reply #40
42. Dogs do that. They make everyone believe that they are the dog's
absolute favorite person in the world.

And you know what? The dogs MEAN it. They really CAN have twenty-eight favorite people. They carry that much love in them.

Redstone
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:40 PM
Response to Reply #42
49. Word.
:cry:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:46 PM
Response to Reply #49
50. Indeed.
Redstone
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:16 PM
Response to Original message
18. you can't win if you don't play?
makes sense to me ( if I am parsing the nos and nots properly) ;)

I tell my kid all the time that life is not a spectator sport....
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #18
33. And even if you can't win, you should play anyway. Because if you
don't, what the hell are you going to do? Sit in the house and play videogames?

Go out and get some fresh air and excercise. Screw the score.

Redstone
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #33
35. exactly!
took mine to the Pitt game today - they pasted the Citadel 51 to 6.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #35
37. Ouch! That's a tough score for those Citadel boys to take home.
Redstone
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 08:59 AM
Response to Reply #37
53. apparently Div I -AA
needs to make some money and get some name recognition by playing the bib guys. Or that's what I was was told.

I haven't thought about how big the Pitt sports juggernaut is for about 30 years!
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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:26 PM
Response to Original message
21. you told him to waste his time, basically.
lol. just kidding.
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
26. I'm going to respectfully call bullshit on this.
I do believe that you do indeed know (maybe not what you meant at the time) what this statement would mean, making sense to your son.

BTW...from what I understand, the apple...she don't fall far from the tree. By that, I mean that I do believe that if I were to say this very same thing to you, you'd get it.

Tell me I'm wrong...
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:24 PM
Response to Reply #26
43. You're not wrong. I'd get it. I might argue the point, but
I'd get it. And of course, never admit that I got it, just to be contrary. Apple not far from the tree, and all that.

And yes, I knew; and I know that at least a few DUers would know that I knew. Was just looking for some perspective. And received same in a quite fulfilling quantity. Are the people who hang around this place about the best there are, or what?

Redstone
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:32 PM
Response to Reply #43
46. Just about the best there are, yes.
You probably got that perspective and don't need me chiming in any further...for what that would be worth, sir.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:38 PM
Response to Reply #46
48. Why the HELL would I object to you chiming in?
Edited on Sat Sep-23-06 09:39 PM by Redstone
You going through a rough patch lately, as all of us do now and again? If so, you do not have to fight it on your own.

PM is your friend, as I remain...

Redstone
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Amaya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
27. I have no idea :)
Edited on Sat Sep-23-06 08:40 PM by Amaya
by the way, i have a date tonight. No, i am not sitting home pining over my ex. What a fool.

big :hug:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-23-06 09:27 PM
Response to Reply #27
45. Well, m'dear, I could NOT be happier than to hear that. Beware, though,
of the Rebound Monster, OK?

I wish you the best of fortune, and hope your date is a pleasant one. If so (or if not), remember I'm here for you. You have the number.

Redstone
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ProfessorGAC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-25-06 10:34 AM
Response to Original message
54. Makes Sense To Me
In fact, i play golf pretty well. I'm a 3 handicap and i don't play in tournaments anymore. I don't care to compete, but i still like to play golf as often as i can. The competition sucks some of the fun right out of it.

I never play for money. I don't play in events. I'm doing it purely for the enjoyment. So, what you told your son seems like good advice. You have to find the elements of joy within the sport and not really need the competition.
The Professor
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