I don't know if it is OK to post a joke here...

[jhrobbins]

but I got this from my sister-in-law and had to try.


George Bush has a heart attack and dies.
He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here" says the devil. You are on my list so you
have to stay but i have no room. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, there are three
people who were as bad as you, so I'll let one of them go and
you can take their place. I will even let you choose.

The devil leads George into the first room. In it was Ted
Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept resurfacing over and over.
Such his fate in hell. "No!" said George. I am not a good swimmer at all
and don't think I could do that all day long!

The devil led him to the next room. It was Tony Blair with
a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. He swung and swung the hammer
but thr rocks kept filling the room. "Oh no. I have this problem with my
shoulder I don't think I could do that for very long. I would be in
constant agony."

The devil opened the third door. It was Bill Clinton lying naked on his
back with his arms staked over his head and his legs spread eagle also staked
down.
Over him was Monica Lewinski on her hands and knees doing what she does
best. Looking in disbelief for awhile, George finally said, "yeah I
think I can handle this for eternity."

The devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go."

[hootinholler]

1. I like it. n/t

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. I've heard this one before.......but

It's still funny!

What an image..........:evilgrin:

[everythingsxen]

3. I would counter with...

While clear-cutting timber in Crawford, George W. Bush suffers a fatal chain-saw accident. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem: We seldom see a rich Republican around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer" says Dubya.

"I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from the Man Himself: He says you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity."

"But, I've already made up my mind; I want to be in Heaven."

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course; the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature a perfect 72 degrees. In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse. Standing in front of it his dad and thousands of other Republicans who had helped him out over the years. Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Jerry Falwell the whole of the "Right" was there, everyone laughing, happy, casually but expensively dressed. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at expense of the "suckers and peasants". They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

The Devil himself comes up to Bush with a frosty drink, "Have a Margarita and relax, Dubya!" "Uh, I can't drink no more, I took a pledge," says Junior, dejectedly. "This is Hell, son: you can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it just gets better from there!" Dubya takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil: a Skull and Bones brother but with real horns. They are having such a great time that, before he realizes it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Bush steps on the elevator.

When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says. So for 24 hours Bush is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who talk about things other than money. Not a prank or a snigger among them; no fancy country clubs and, while the food tastes great; it's not caviar or lobster And these people are all poor, he doesn't see anybody he knows, and he isn't even treated like someone special! Worst of all, Jesus turns out to be some kind of Jewish hippie with his endless 'peace' and 'do unto others' jive. "Whoa," he says uncomfortably, "Pat Robertson never prepared me for this!"

The day done, St. Peter returns and says, "Well, then, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for eternity." Dubya reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all -- but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down. The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren, sweltering vacant lot covered with garbage and toxic industrial waste - Houston minus the air conditioning. He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.

The Devil comes over to Dubya and puts an arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers a shocked Dubya, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a clubhouse and we ate lobster and caviar and drank booze. We screwed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!"

The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly, and purrs, "Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us."

(I Have heard many iterations of this joke, but lifted this one via c/p from: http://www.helada.org/oldjokes.htm )

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. Very good!

I have heard/seen this one too....but this version is wonderful!

Thanks for posting it........ :rofl: