MEN: How do you answer the question "Do I look fat"?

[zanana]

Assuming it's your wife, girlfriend or SO asking, do you escape with your life or answer honestly?

[Nlighten1]

1. I don't.

It is an obvious set up.

[KG]

2. ahh, the joys of being single

the questions you don't have answer coz nobody asks.

[GOPisEvil]

18. Oh, and if a female friend asks, you can be honest.

:7

[liberalpress]

3. My Answer (and this ALWAYS works)...

...Gosh, look at the time... I'm sorry but I'm already late, gotta go goodbye.

[bearfan454]

4. I lost 80 pounds in the last year. I gained 15 back.

I need to get my tomato garden going for next year earlier. I ate at least 500 tomatoes last year. They helped me lose weight. I would say NO I'm not fat any more.

[brainshrub]

5. Here's how you do it:

When she says: "Do I look fat?"

You must look at her like she just said the most ridiculous thing imaginable. Behave like you were just asked to wear a meat helmet to the prom.

Then reply: "Sweety...of course not!"

I suggest you practice in front of a mirror first.

[zanana]

7. Good answer, brainshrub.

May you have a long and happy marriage.

[trof]

6. "NO."

That's the ONLY answer.
I don't care if the asker is Two-Ton Tina, the circus fat lady.
NO.

[bearfan454]

9. Very true !

Never tell them their ass is big. If you do, it's solo for at least a week.

[trof]

12. Worse than that.

It's grounds for justifiable homicide.
You can look it up.

[BiggJawn]

8. Change the subject.

NEVER give an honest answer. Unless she's got a hard-body.

[Mikimouse]

10. I like living...

so the answer is No, dear, I'm fat, and you would have to go along way to catch up with me. By the way, we are both on different diets, so the question comes up with some frequency; amazing what a sedentary lifestyle does for your once youthful figure.

[JVS]

11. "Do you feel fat?"

:D

[BlueJazz]

13. I try to use some tactful words like:

Well, no....not to a Boar-Hog.

[Dogmudgeon]

14. No, Babycakes, just your ass.

--bkl

[TlalocW]

15. If my girlfriend/wife is going to play that game...

I would have her first answer, "Have you ever faked an orgasm when we've had sex?" I know the answer is yes, but I figure I might as well lob the ball back onto their side of the court and let her worry about offending my male pride.

TlalocW

[amber dog democrat]

16. Just say NO

There are times for candor and times for discretion. I just can't see a good way out of that one. If I was really pressed I might respond with " you know, I really can't say - I just can't say."

Down deep we know the real answer anyway.

[Skittles]

17. "Do these pants make me look fat"

wrong answer: IT'S NOT THE PANTS.

[leftofthedial]

19. hell yeah!

fat ass for sure!

and those thighs? Jeebus!

that "tummy" was cute about 40 pounds ago.

Lard-ass! Want to slather some butter on that Danish?

[madrchsod]

20. after 30 yrs

i answer yes..makes her mad but the next day she` rants that her jeans don`t fit and she`s going on a diet...

[alwynsw]

21. My wife never asks that question EVER

We're not quite a pair of cueballs, but skinny, we ain't!

Besides, after the lights go out, the only thing that matters is "who bathed".

[Bruce McAuley]

22. "Of course not, my Queen! I prefer well rounded women!"

Honestly!
:hi:

Bruce

[Robb]

23. "Yep..."

"...and while we're talking, you need to do something about those fugly shoes." ;)

It may surprise everyone here, but Mrs. Robb and I have a pretty smart-ass relationship....

[Padraig18]

24. Drop to your knees and IMMEDIATELY beg for forgiveness.

:P

[CO Liberal]

25. I Tell Her the Truth

"Honey, you look GREAT!!!!!"

(BTW, for the benefit of the newbies out there, I have always preferred larger women. Mrs. CO Liberal and I met at a singles dance for large people and their admirers in Saddle Brook NJ, and we're gonna celebrate our 11th wedding annuversary in February. She's over 300 pounds, and I love every ounce of her.)

[jogi1969]

26. IF my current gf asked

i would say
"baby i love your body"
then i would start to tell her
that she looks great/sexy,

i wonder if that would work?

[alfredo]

27. With that question and other such questions, I tell her that I will not

play that game. But I do tell her she looks great, or she is prettier than her sister/the gal on TV/the young redheaded neighbor............ etc.

If there is no right answer, I tell her there is no right answer so I will not answer.

[populistmom]

28. A smart man...

just smiles :) and tells her that he thinks she's beautiful. It's that simple.

[LanternWaste]

29. Nipped that one in the bud the first time I came across it....

"Are you trying to project MY inadequacies onto you? Are you hinting that you think you think I'm getting a bit flubby around the waist? I wish for once you would simply come out and tell me that you think I should start hitting the gym more. I'm starting to think this is one of the main problem's we're having in this relationship. How am I suppose to know what you want me to be if you won't be completely honest with me?"

After that bit, she took ME out and bought ME dinner. Yes, it was a disengenuous for me to say, but it worked and she never asked any question remotely linked to that again. For my part, it's a lose-lose situation.... and my emotional/verbal gymnastics routine was the only way to get out with my life.

[Festivito]

30. Never, ... did you look so good ...

Caution: One word awry, misheard, you're dead meat.

Use only after saying: "Huh? Do you think I should go for a hearing test." fails to divert her attention.

[GregW]

31. That's not quite the "question of death" ...

The one you REALLY, REALLY have to be careful about is ...

"Do I look like I've lost weight?"

There is no correct answer :(