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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:22 PM
Original message
"Shut your fucking mouth..."
My daughter played her first flag football game yesterday. Everything was fine-both even w/ no score-at halftime. The three girls were doing fine,playing the best they could and not backing down.

One mother decided to start mouthing at halftime and said, loud enough for the girls to hear, "We haven't scored yet. That's what you get for letting girls play football."

I stared at her and she decided to go one further. She says to me "Shut your fucking mouth, you stupid dyke! Everyone hates a dyke pushing their kids in places they don't belong. Put her in a beauty pageant where she belongs!"

I was good. I just walked away and let her yell. Saddest part of all was that after halftime all three girls felt "too sick" to play anymore.

Why would a woman put down little girls? I can handle the tantrums-I'm an adult. (As you can tell, calling someone a derogatory term for lesbian is an insult to her, especially if you say it to a hetero woman.)

(And if any mods read this is it ok to cross post this in the feminism forum? I can get some comments from the Lounge right now but I'd love to know what some of the regular posters over there think of this too.)
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MiniMandaRuth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:25 PM
Response to Original message
1. I think I know what happened to her.
One parent got sick and tired of hearing that, walked over to her, and told her to shut the fuck up or she would call the cops.

In situations like that, you can usually call security. Most little-legue games have some sort of security around, at least in my case. It's illegal for parents to yell demeaning remarks to those on the field, and it's really illegal for them to yell it at other parents.

I'm sorry you had to deal, but next time, just stand up to her and tell her to f off. Works for me, most of the time.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:27 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. No security.
Parents are supposed to enforce the rules.

And no one shut her up. Most of them shook their heads in agreement.

Most of the parents were angry that there were three little girls on the team in the first place. A few early on made comments about how "girly" the games would be.
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MiniMandaRuth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #3
10. Take action next time.
DO you have a video camera? Record it, put it up on the interweb, then broadcast the URL, send it to friends... the lot. If she wants a fight, she'll get a fight.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:34 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. The next game is local.
We plan on having friends and family there in full force, including a coworker who was a placekicker in high school. Yep-GIRL place kicker on a varsity team. When I tell her about this she'll have a thing or two to say.

And next game the grandparents are taping anyway.
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MiniMandaRuth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Good.
Something similar to this happened a couple of months ago at tryouts. And my friend got the whole thing on tape. Put it on the internet and she was shut up pretty soon.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:38 PM
Original message
I just hate to post anything that might identify my daughter.
It would be fun to put it on youtube and let everyone post about her being a stupid bitch.
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greguganus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 08:47 AM
Response to Original message
109. Getting video is a good idea
Edit the video so just the loud mouth woman is shown, upload it to youtube.com or flurl.com with a caption reading something like "Foul Mouth Mom At Little League Game". It will get thousands of hits, and I'm sure eventually she will find out she's on candid camera!
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 09:05 AM
Response to Reply #109
112. And she'll know who did it.
I dream about doing things like this but the fact is I live in a small town. Anything I do could come back on my daughter. And she doesn't deserve that.
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greguganus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 10:37 AM
Response to Reply #112
120. Find someone on here in your area to do it for you. n/t
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:26 PM
Response to Original message
2. What a bitch!!
Some people are so freaken clueless.
I'm sorry your daughter and the other girls had to hear it.
You did the right thing just walking away.Very Adult!!
unlike the stupid skank who gets her rocks off being an asshole to kids
geeessssssssh!
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:28 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. The only parents who seemed upset with the comments were
the ones from toward the city. The smaller towns seemed to agree w/ her.
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:33 PM
Response to Reply #4
12. Well they are wrong!
Edited on Sun Sep-10-06 12:34 PM by GoPsUx
I think some smaller town folks that aren't exposed to much diversity tend to be more close minded.
I made a poster a week ago that i will now share in dedication to the nasty woman who obviously has no manners
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. We'll see if she's brave enough to make the same comments
next week. The games local and friends and family will be there in full force.

I don't think she'll say it in front of a group of my friends and family.
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:39 PM
Response to Reply #14
21. I never understood Why people get so nasty at sports games
I guess people just require drama sometimes.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. We used to get nasty at high school games,
when we were students. Then again, that's a different mental age.

An adult should know better.
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:48 PM
Response to Reply #4
30. It seems some of the smaller towns are deathly afraid of change.
The famous saying around here used to be..but that's the way it's always been. We experienced it 18 years ago..my daughter played on a boys baseball team in the city. We moved here and no girls were allowed on boys teams. They certainly remembered her from the games played against her and spoke highly of her ability..but there was no way they were changing the rules to allow her to play.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. I work w/ someone that played high school football.
Place kicker and in an even smaller town than this one.

She said it was hard at first but they got happy pretty damn fast when they won their conference.
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:53 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Good for your friend!
Stories like that always make me smile!
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #32
33. She said that being different was something that she had
always experienced, so being singled out yet again was no big deal.

She did say that the best part was at the awards banquet when her father and his partner had to be recognized and acknowledged by the same people who wouldn't look them in the eye outside of the game.
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 12:38 AM
Response to Reply #4
101. Get a video of her doing this, then paste it ALL OVER Youtube and send it
to the LOCAL media.

You absolutely HAVE TO.

If it costs money, I'll help pay for it and I'm SURE other DUers would too!

You simply must get this freak on film and show her to the entire WORLD.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 08:38 AM
Response to Reply #101
104. I hate what she said
but she does have a rather public job.

Jobs are a bit scarse around here. I'd hate to post a video of her on youtube, only to have her lose her job. From what I understand, she's the only one in the house working right now.


(Sounds like a copout but I hate thinking of someone losing their job. I've been through that in the past year and I know what it's like. And with her job-yep, she'd lose it.)
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 09:33 AM
Response to Reply #104
115. She's not entitled to your charity. GOOD people are allowed to err now and
then. What she said was agregious in every way, shape and form and everyone should know the content of her character.

She can defend her own self.

Let her.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 09:34 AM
Response to Reply #115
116. True.
But I'm also worried about any future backlash against my daughter.

We live in a small town and I suspect she'd try to put two and two together.
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 09:47 AM
Response to Reply #116
119. People won't consider her opinion to be valid about anything once the
truth about the content of her character is known.

Let her defend her words and her actions.

You and your daughter are good people. You don't deserve to be treated like this BY ANYONE, and nor does anyone else.

It's time to put a stop to her abuse and let the world see who this person is. She should be held accountable for her actions.
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satireV Donating Member (497 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 06:00 PM
Response to Reply #116
132. What would Martin Luther King Jr do when confronted with such bigotry?
Lay down and take it?

Or expose the bigotry and accept the consequences?

We ALL must try and be more like King and Gandhi.
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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
5. Oh, xmas, that sucks!
And this woman is raising a child? :wtf:

I'm so sorry. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:29 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Her fourth child.
All boys.

Two play in high school and the other is middle school.

She plans on "making men" of them all by forcing them to play.
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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. Aaaarrrgghhhh!
:banghead: And you can guess the kind of men she's raising! :cry:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #9
17. I hate to think about it.
Saddest part is that her son loves to play w/ my daughter but she keeps them apart.
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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #17
25. And to think ...
what other people have to go through before they can adopt a child ... :(

I think it's wonderful that you're modeling such strength for your daughter. :hug: :thumbsup: :yourock:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:44 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. You know I really wanted to punch her.
That's why I chose to walk away. I was the only adult there and how would my daughter have made it home if I were in jail for assault?
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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 01:39 PM
Response to Reply #27
40. You're absolutely right.
That would have been more damaging than anything that woman could have said.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 04:02 PM
Response to Reply #40
44. Exactly. nt
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greguganus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 08:50 AM
Response to Reply #27
110. Hit her in the stomach. It won't show, but it will hurt like hell . n/t
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 09:03 AM
Response to Reply #110
111. Bad move.
With her job it's a bad move.

Won't tell you what she does but believe me-punching is not a good idea.
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #7
56. That woman is a CLOSET CASE
Oh yeah, big time.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:12 PM
Response to Reply #56
58. You think so too?
I thought I was imagining it. Glad to find out I'm not.
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #58
61. She can't think of anything other
than homos? All homos, all the time? Ya think she's got a little obsession going there?

Closet case.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 06:48 PM
Response to Reply #61
67. Small town narrowmindedness.
I shouldn't say that. Some of the most openminded people I've ever met have been from small towns. But she has the stereotypical mindset of someone from a small town.
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
6. Oh my gosh!

That woman is nuts. :grr:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:30 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. We've been dealing w/ comments like this since the
first practice but this was the worst one so far.
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #8
39. I can't understand why some women want to be treated like dummies.

Obviously she is still buying into the old way of thinking that ~ girls & women can't do things as well as men.
I feel sorry for her daughters & her friends!
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #39
45. At least
she doesn't have any daughters.
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #45
95. We can be thankful for small miracles!
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miss_american_pie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:32 PM
Response to Original message
11. Ugh
I'd bet that's a woman who hates herself. Or hates all women. Or is insecure. Or any combination of the above.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #11
18. I'm voting for combo of all.
I just don't understand it.
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Broken_Hero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
15. I'm glad you walked away
it seems that this type of incident is happening a lot more often nowadays, at least it being reported. Their was an incident this past week where an assistant coach came onto the field of play and knocked a kid down...I think the kid was maybe 10...and this grown man flies onto the field and knocks him down. I do believe charges were brought against the assis coach, and I believe this happened near Sacramento.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #15
22. Sounds familiar.
Any other sport around here the parents have to take a seminar about how to properly use manners and be good sports.

Football is the only one that they do not require it.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 01:16 PM
Response to Reply #22
37. That's just incredible to me
A seminar on how to not be an asshole? And why not in football?

Who administrates this league? They need to see for themselves what's going on.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 03:54 PM
Response to Reply #37
43. The other leagues are run by the Parks department.
This is a separate league.
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Missy Vixen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #22
125. My husband umped one season of Little League
Never again. It was unbelievable. If the parents weren't verbally abusing the kids, they were incredibly nasty to the umpires.

>Any other sport around here the parents have to take a seminar about how to properly use manners and be good sports.<

I know that the soccer league in this area has made it clear they will not tolerate bad parental behavior at games.

Julie
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 02:22 PM
Response to Reply #125
127. My dad did a season of little league many years ago
and volunteered a season just a few years ago.

He said that the behavior of the parents has changed. He also said never again.
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:38 PM
Response to Original message
19. Sometimes the mature response is very difficult.
You were right to reply only with silence, but it would be so tempting to knock her down a peg if there weren't children within earshot. The woman needs to realize that the goal is teaching skills and good sportsmanship, something not conveyed at all when a parent denigrates players and swears at another parent.

Your daughter is fortunate to have a mother with a more open heart than that woman.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #19
24. If my daughter weren't there and it was a local game
I'd been tempted to punch her.

She wanted the fight and I've never backed down. My only rule is that I won't say or do anything in front of my daughter.
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
20. OMG, that mother should be forbidden from attending the games
My granddaughter's soccer team has strick rules..no shouting or saying anything that may denigrate or ridicule players or parents from either team.

Parents can certainly get crazy & hateful when their kids play sports.

I'm sorry to hear the girls felt sick. That's sad. Keep encouraging them..there's always going to be someone who thinks boys/girls should play on their own teams.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #20
26. She should be permanently ejected.
I said that to another parent and they looked at me like I was crazy.

If this were soccer,basketball or tee ball (I coach all three) I would have ejected her.
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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
28. oh my.
you are a far, far better woman than I, lol.

it would have been on at the 'D' word.

I was in a gas station yesterday and the cashier asked a kid what he had put in his pocket and the Dad went OFF on him...it was really good to see this guy stand up for his kid like that. He raised unholy hell about it.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:48 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. Small town-
the "d" word gets thrown around often.

I'd been much more offended if it had been thrown at a couple of my friends who are lesbians. I can handle what someone dishes to me but I can't stand it if someone throws it at a friend.
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buddhamama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:55 PM
Response to Original message
34. how awful !
i applaud you for your non-action. this Lady has no business being at these games. i am sorry for everyone involved. no one needs or deserves to be treated or subjected this kind of behavior.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. She shouldn't be at the games.
I had that half-thought in the back of my mind: what if my daughter is decent enough to play in high school? How will someone like that handle it?

Now that would be amusing.
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 01:06 PM
Response to Original message
36. well, to a republican -- a conservative -- the worst thing anyone can be
is gay.

sorry you had to bear the brunt of that kind of bigotry in front of the kids --
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #36
46. I'm a liberal.
I AM the brunt of the joke around here.
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 01:23 PM
Response to Original message
38. Fucking stupid bitch.
:grr:

I hate ignorant, close-minded assholes. I especially hate women who insist on perpetuating sexism. It's like an abused wife insisting that it's her fault she's abused. FUCKING DUMB!!
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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #38
41. Just an aside, but...
I assume that you haven't been an abused woman...If so, you have no idea what type of thought process occurs in their minds. So to judge it as being "fucking dumb" is quite presumptuous on your part, imho...

And also...as a self-described feminist, I find it amusing that your refer to another woman as a "fucking stupid bitch", regardless of how you feel about her actions.

:)
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 02:32 PM
Response to Reply #41
42. Yes, "bitch" was a mistake.
Edited on Sun Sep-10-06 02:32 PM by WritingIsMyReligion
I normally do not use the word at all. I'd like to change it, but it's past the editing period.

Hell no, I have never been abused, and I can't imagine the thought process. I can't imagine how people end up being abused...it is something as alien to me as Pluto is.

That said, I still find the idea of women so willing to see themselves as inferiors to men extremely strange and repulsive. I do not say it on the women...I say it on the thought process, which to me is even more alien than Pluto.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 04:47 PM
Response to Reply #42
52. People end up being abused by falling in love
It's as simple as that. You're young and fortunate never to have known an abusive situation but please believe that not all abused women are submissive, mousy, not-too-bright women who feel the male is supposed to be dominant in the relationship.

I know this because I was married to an abuser.

I am intelligent, independent and a lifelong feminist. I've worked all my life in non-traditional jobs, I've supported myself and never backed down from a challenge.

Abusers don't abuse on the first date. Typically, they're extremely charming men who treat women very well when they're dating. They bring flowers for no reason. They make friends with the children from the previous marriage. They willingly do chores or help around the house. They ingratiate themselves with your family. They charm you and you fall in love with them.

Often the first instance of abuse doesn't happen until years have passed. By then, you've invested your life in the relationship. You have children. The first instance shocks you - it seems out of character. You don't realize that it's the real character coming out.

Abuse is psychological as well as physical. Abusers will confuse their victim, turning things around so that you believe you somehow instigated it. Sadly, you often want to believe this because beleiving otherwise means you've been duped and played for a fool. You want to believe him when he says it was an aberration and it won't happen again.

By the time you realize what's happening, you are often in a trap with no escape - or at least it seems that way. You know if you call the police, you'll suffer for it later, after they've come and slapped his wrist or laughed it off. I know two different women personally who were murdered when their former lovers violated their restraining orders - that tells you how useful that little piece of paper is. Abused women tend to suffer from depression, alcoholism and drug abuse - they're trying to escape the reality of their lives. That plays against them in court and in child custody if they should be so lucky to escape alive.

I was with my husband for 8 years - I was only able to get away when he was caught and convicted of drug possession. When he was released, I slept with a loaded shotgun. I moved 3000 miles to get away from him.

I used to look at abused women with scorn. No more. I have nothing but compassion and understanding for them. To be beaten by someone who has promised to love and cherish you is the ultimate betrayal. It's almost impossible to comprehend. It's easy to be cocky and say, "oh, that will never happen to me" when you're young and have never been vulnerable. The truth is, it can happen to anyone.
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 04:58 PM
Response to Reply #42
53. I'm confused why there is an assumption this woman was abused
I didn't see this in the original post and why it is assumed she might be :shrug:. Does every snotty ignorant witch get to use 'abuse' of any kind as an ok to be evil to others?


You were right the first time and don't need to justify your initial reaction to the hatefullness of the woman the OP was talking about. Even if this woman had some tough times it in NO WAY justifies her treating others with disdain. To hell with her.
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lukasahero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 08:19 AM
Response to Reply #53
102. No one is suggesting this woman was abused
The points about abuse are being raised in objection to WiMR's post that likens the behavior to that of abused women who think the abuse is their fault. It was an opportunity to educate. Please do so yourself by going back and reading the posts.
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 10:51 AM
Response to Reply #102
122. My point stands.
It's a pattern on this site to excuse behavior by saying that person may have been a victim of some kind, be poor and frustrated etc.

It comes up all the time just like it did in this thread.

Your tone was out of line in telling me to educate myself. Sorry, but I don't need anyone to tell me what I know and see here.

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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #42
66. Well, you're still young...
and I don't mean that as an insult, at all....I couldn't have imagined the thought process either, until it happened to me...You'd be surprised what can occur in one's life...That being said, I think you're sensitive and thoughtful, and you'll continue to grow and learn. :)

:pals:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 04:07 PM
Response to Reply #38
47. "Bitch" gives her too much credit.
Women regularly referred to as bitches usually are so because they are strong, get what they want and not afraid to break outside of the gender roles.

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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 04:19 PM
Response to Reply #47
49. Very true. That is the "good" kind of bitch.
:D
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 04:32 PM
Response to Reply #49
50. I'm that kind of bitch.
And I've always been overjoyed to wear that mantle.
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Road Scholar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 04:13 PM
Response to Original message
48. First they ignore you, then they fight you................
You are winning. All you need is persistence and determination. It' all you ever needed. Don't cave.:thumbsup:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 04:37 PM
Response to Reply #48
51. They've all heard me state my rule:
She's not allowed to quit once she starts. She has to finish the season. If she decides to never play after this season, so be it. At least she tried and she finished what she started.

I'm not paying out a single dime just to let her quit. One of the mothers recently asked me why I hadn't put her in piano yet, like some of the other girls her age. My answer was that if I had to pay for piano then she would have to take it for a minimum of two years. (Long enough, IMO, to pay for the lease which was a minimum of two years and for her to learn something.)

They all know we don't view quitting as an option. They also know that I'm one of those "feel-gooders" (as one called me) because I don't care if they win or lose.
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Road Scholar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #51
54. Why does it take them twenty years to realize that you held
the line for them. We faced those issues and were glad that we held our ground. A lot of lessons are to be learned by you.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:04 PM
Response to Reply #54
55. They don't want to think about things like this.
They like compartmentalizing their lives into perfect little pictures.

Somedays I feel like I'm living in Stepford.
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Road Scholar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:13 PM
Response to Reply #55
59. Remember Erma Bombeck? She said that teenagers should
buried @ 14 and not dug up until they were 25. LOL Just hang in there, you aren't blazing any new trails. You'll be glad you did with lotsa hugs and kisses later, and the best reward of all, respect.:toast:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:16 PM
Response to Reply #59
62. Thank you.
And I'm definitely not looking forward to the teen years. I'm having enough problems w/ her at age 6!
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:10 PM
Response to Original message
57. You deserve a medal for not punching her. Excellent restraint
on your part. Walking away was best because it let her show everyone what a loser she is, but it's so hard to do.

You did well.

Redstone
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:14 PM
Response to Reply #57
60. Thank you.
I did kick a building when no one was looking. At least I got a bit of it out of my system.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:31 PM
Response to Reply #60
64. Next time (if there is one), try to remember this line:
"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Redstone
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #64
68. I'm sure there will be a next time.
She's that type.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:01 PM
Response to Reply #68
73. Try my line. It does work well to embarrass people.
Redstone
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:08 PM
Response to Reply #73
75. My brother plans on attending the next game.
The moment she says anything he plans on taping it and making sure she knows he's taping.

He's a big boy. I suspect she'll back down.
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:22 PM
Response to Original message
63. I think that it is awful how parents sometimes approach youth sports
Kids, especially before the high school level, should be able to play sports to learn the game, get exercise, and have fun. Parents that insult the kids, be it their own, opponents, or members of their own team, should be banned from the games. I am sorry that your daughter and the other girls had to put up with this woman.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 06:51 PM
Response to Reply #63
69. I'm personally of the opinion that any sport under the
age of 10 should not be scored.

But that's just my opinion and I'm sure that there are too many sports parents out there that would adamently disagree with me.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:17 PM
Response to Reply #69
79. Without scoring, they'd find something else
They do that anyway.

The harder hitters (football and baseball). The harder throwers. The faster runners. The better fielders. Whatever.

My kid is better than your kid. Ergo, I'm better than you.

I've been saying for years, parents simply should be banned from organized youth sports. Give the kids decent places to play and rudimentary equipment and let 'em play on their own. They'll have a lot more fun.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #79
80. That's the saddest part of it all.
I've made that statement to a few parents and they've made comments about "How do we know who's the best?"

You shouldn't worry about it at that age. What you should think about is how to learn the fundamentals of the sport and how to get kids interested in it.

But you are quite right. They would find something else to rate them over.

(Another thing-did you notice every parent wants their kid to be the quarterback? I think she was especially angry that one of the GIRLS was the quarterback and not her precious son.)
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:24 PM
Response to Reply #80
83. I've noticed a lot of this crap
I used to be a small-town sportswriter.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:36 PM
Response to Reply #83
86. You've probably heard it all.
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NC_Nurse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
65. Wow...
What a nutcase!
I always feel for the kids of assholes like that - they must be mortified.
Sadly, they'll probably all just be bigoted small-minded losers like her...
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #65
70. Well, kids do learn from their parents.
Whenever I meet parents like this I fear for the future.
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 06:58 PM
Response to Original message
71. but I'm talking about Shaft!
:)

Seriously, some people have no class at all. Or have such empty lives that they seek out ways to lord over others, reassuring themselves that they're at least better or more powerful than others.

You are much more restrained than I would have been.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #71
72. You don't know how much it took me to keep
myself under control.
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:08 PM
Response to Reply #72
76. Not punching her is a good example for the kids.
Edited on Sun Sep-10-06 07:10 PM by philosophie_en_rose
That woman's punishment is having to be herself. It's certainly sad to have that inner monologue all day.

But verbally thrashing her would be my first instinct. Though, no doubt, she thinks she's pink of perfection.



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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #76
78. check your pm in a minute. nt
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 08:19 PM
Response to Reply #78
87. wow.
no words.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 08:30 PM
Response to Reply #87
88. Now you know exactly what kind of woman I'm
dealing with here.
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cwydro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 11:41 AM
Response to Reply #88
123. Just a guess
but I bet this awful woman is a cop or county mountie of some type...
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 02:21 PM
Response to Reply #123
126. Similar field
but think state instead of local.

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cwydro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 02:25 PM
Response to Reply #126
129. oh geez
yeah, best to steer clear of direct run-ins with those little petty tyrant types...you handled it well.
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:06 PM
Response to Original message
74. If someone ever said such sexist crap around my niece...
That person would wish he/she was dead by the time I'm done with them...
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:09 PM
Response to Reply #74
77. I decided it was better to walk away.
She's the type to bring it up to everyone that I had argued w/ her for no reason, blahblah, etc.
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:24 PM
Response to Reply #77
84. I still think you did the right thing xmas74
You parent by example.
By not arguing with this crazy woman you taught your daughter how mature and tolerant people should act!!
You took the higher ground And should be commended
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:34 PM
Response to Reply #84
85. Thank you!
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:21 PM
Response to Original message
81. good grief!! what a trifling inconsiderate jerk!!
just goes to show that idiots are everywhere. I am sorry your daughter and those other girls were subjected to this.

:hug: for you and :hug: for your daughter.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #81
82. Thank you.
Coach called about an hour ago. Turns out his daughter did hear the comment about the girls not playing.

He wanted to know what I knew about the subject.
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hippywife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 08:47 PM
Response to Reply #82
91. Hopefully he'll do something about it
like telling her that if she can't watch her mouth she can stay away from the games.

Sorry you have to deal with such an attitude. :hug:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #91
92. I suspect he'll say something.
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hippywife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #92
93. I hope he actually
does. I admire you for walking away without resorting to violence. I do agree with Redstone, tho. I probably would have said something to make her look foolish so she would think twice before doing it to me again. Plus it does show the kids that you can stand up for yourself without going on the attack.

Hope things get better.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 08:38 AM
Response to Reply #93
105. Thank you.
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MissB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 08:40 PM
Response to Original message
89. I hope the coach clears it for you and your daughter.
:hug:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #89
90. He wasn't too happy having three of his players sitting out
and wanted to know why only the girls felt sick.

Then he found out.
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TK421 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 09:08 PM
Response to Original message
94. Umm...yeah, sure....put her in a beauty pageant where she will be taught
how to starve herself to death and also be sure to tell her that diuretics are part of the food pyramid. While we're at it, let's suck the life-force out of her by taking away her childhood by forcing her to do all the ridiculous bullshit we wished we had the opportunity to do at her age. Let's live vicariously through our little girl while she misses out on the opportunity to have a normal childhood. I would have spun around, grabbed that witch by her hair, spit in her face and tossed her in a frigging garbage can. That's exactly where people like her belong
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 08:39 AM
Response to Reply #94
106. But then I wouldn't be posting this.
I'd be sitting in a jail cell, charged w/ assault.

I won't identify her by job but I did tell one other DU'er what she does. She'd agree w/ me-I'd be in jail right now.
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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 09:16 PM
Response to Original message
96. Something is missing from this story.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #96
97. What would that be?
Just told the story as it happened.
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TK421 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #97
98. I think you left out the part where you grabbed her by her hair and
tossed her in the garbage can....you would have to read my first post, though
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 08:40 AM
Response to Reply #98
107. I just read it
and replied.

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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-10-06 11:31 PM
Response to Reply #97
99. I do not know what is missing, xmas74.
I am not saying that you are being untruthful. But something is missing.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 08:34 AM
Response to Reply #99
103. The only thing missing
are details that would actually identify who this woman is, which I will not post.

If I said her name to any number of people in my town they would grimace.

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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 09:08 AM
Response to Reply #103
113. There was a woman like this around when I was growing up.
Her name was Chi-Chi, and she was a terror. I grew up playing softball, and she was the mother of one of the pitchers. We just happened to have several really good pitchers on our team, and her daughter was the most difficult (inherited) so she didn't get to pitch as much as her mom thought she should. This woman stirred up garbage on a pretty regular basis at our games and practices. She was pretty much a constant source of drama. I can identify with what you said about naming her because everyone at the time knew her and if you mentioned her name to anyone they would grimace or roll their eyes or both. I remember once when we were at a tournament in Pennsylvania and the base coach sent my sister to third on a mistake, and Chi threatened to beat up him and his wife both. Within earshot of them. It was just unreal.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 09:11 AM
Response to Reply #113
114. This woman has just enough of a tiny bit of power
that she threatens to make those under her go through hell.

She's a nasty piece of work.
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 12:26 AM
Response to Original message
100. Shame on you
Why aren't you turning your daughter into a pseudo-Barbie like any good mother would? How dare you guarantee the team a losing season by forcing them to take her on? Everybody knows that the only purpose of playing sports is to win, and that sports are for boys only. :sarcasm:
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 08:41 AM
Response to Reply #100
108. What was so interesting was how well the girls were doing.
Edited on Mon Sep-11-06 08:43 AM by xmas74
Until the comment was made they were doing better than quite a few of the boys.

(Edited to add-if this woman wants her son to play for the local HS someday she'd better get him used to losing right now. My old high school is one of their biggest rivals and we tend to take the district nearly every year. We used to make fun of this HS's football team. Their basketball and track programs are well regarded but not football.)
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
117. Can your daughter come up with a reason to grind her son into the turf?
It'd have to be at practice since they're on the same team, but that's how one deals with this crap in football.

My baby sister used to play and she was really good (good enough that when the women's pro team here- who later went on to win the championship several times- got started they offered her a slot) but she still had to flatten a few guys to get them to shut up about having a girl on the field. I think she may have had it harder as she was the first and only girl in the league at the time (there are girls on most of the teams now) but she shut them up by being better than the naysayers and awarding the persistent shit-talkers a mouthfull of turf. Oh, and by breaking a few bones, but she never did that on purpose that I know of.

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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 09:38 AM
Response to Reply #117
118. She's already done that at practice.
She's had most of the boys down on the ground at practice.

That doesn't matter since the woman never goes to practice. Someone else always drops her son off.
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 10:45 AM
Response to Original message
121. Where she belongs
Sexist women are alive and well. I didn't think you lived in Arkansas?! Her idea of where girls belong probably involves being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, except for the brief time when she works a crappy part time job for less pay than a man. Seriously...:wtf:
I would have said something like, You may want your daughter to grow up stupid and dependent on men, but I want a better upbringing for my daughter than what you had.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 02:23 PM
Response to Reply #121
128. Not Arkansas
the state above it.
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anarch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 11:57 AM
Response to Original message
124. I thought this was going to be a Minor Threat lyrics post...
"I Don't Wanna Hear It" - Minor Threat

I don't want to hear it
All you do is talk about you
I don't want to hear it
'Cause I know that none of it's true
I don't want to hear it
Sick and tired of all your lies
I don't want to hear it
When are you gonna realize...

That I don't want to hear it
Know you're full of shit

Shut your fucking mouth
I don't care what you say
You keep talking
Talking everyday
First you're telling stories
Then you're telling lies
When the fuck
Are you gonna realize

That I don't want to hear it
Know you're full of shit

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lildreamer316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 04:19 PM
Response to Original message
130. Wow. I'm so sorry.
You are so good for being able to rise above it.Really.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 05:28 PM
Response to Original message
131. Please give her a knock down drag out fight next time for me.
Even if you don't want to do it for yourself, please do it for me. I'd love to personally squeeze the life out of women with that attitude. I don't exactly know where it comes from, but I just want to fight those types until I am hauled away in a padded van ala Courtney Love with a ping pong ball stuffed into my mouth and a straight jacket on. Hell, I need a break from regular life anyhow. :mad:
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