Enough about Pluto. Fuck Jupiter.

[elperromagico]

Damn gassy-ass planet. Didn't have the balls to become a star, huh Jupiter? You fucking quitter. You disgust me.

What's the deal with being so far away from Mars? Are you some kind of elitist snob? The inner planets aren't good enough for you, I guess? Or are you just scared of that asteroid belt? Ooh, mean old asteroid belt's gonna get you?!? Poor baby. Why don't you get one of your moons to wipe up the stain from where you pissed yourself in fear?

You've got a lot of moons. Whoopty damn doo! Oh, and that "great red spot"? I've got four words for you: Clearasil Daily Face Wash. For Christ's sake, you're millions of years old. Wash every now and then!

Oh, by the way: Quit bragging about your "rings." Nobody can see them unless they squint. Now, Saturn... that planet has some RINGS. Bling-bling, mothafucka!!!

Get bent, Jupiter.

[hickman]

1. I love Uranus. 15 moons.

Gotta love Uranus.

Edit for forgot to capitalize the U in Uranus.

[Nailzberg]

2. I don't trust Jupiter. Fucker is always eyeballing me.

You think you're so bad ass, but you best be watching your ass. Like they say, "the bigger they come..."

That's right, Jupiter, you're going down hard. You better recognize.

[elperromagico]

4. Don't worry about Jupiter doing anything.

It's all gas, all talk.

[Ediacara]

3. Jupiter sucks

it's not even big enough to be a brown dwarf, let alone a REAL star.

[hfojvt]

6. but that is it's greatness

Instead of being a puny star, it became a giant planet. It would be nothing as a star.

[elperromagico]

8. I'm sorry, but if I have a choice between a minor star

and a giant wannabe, I'll go with the minor star.

[Ediacara]

9. There ARE several planets out there that are a LOT bigger than Jupiter

There are even "Hot Jupiters" that are gas giants that orbit their star closer than Mercury's orbit.

[hfojvt]

11. Are you sure those are planets

or are they little stars?

You notice that all those supposed giant planets are very far away. Because they are afraid to show up in this solar system where Jupiter would kick their a$$es.

[Ediacara]

12. I have to look it up

but aparently there is a threshold of like 15x (or more or less) Jupiter's mass that would cross from planet to brown dwarf. There are a lot of planets in the 2-10x Jupiter's mass out there. As well as plenty of "small" Neptune sized stuff.

[hfojvt]

5. Nah, Jupiter is the King

It made the asteroid belt. It's awesome gravitational pull prevented another planet from forming. It has four moons that are bigger than Pluto.

One thing about gas giants kinda bothers me though. I wonder how big the actual planet is inside all of that gas. They say they kept all that hydrogen because they were big enough to have the gravity to hold it, but how big are they if you take away all that hydrogen?

[elperromagico]

7. It's like every other gassy planet.

It lies about its size.

[Ediacara]

10. it's hard to say

How much rock is down there? Does metalic Hydrogen count as being soild since it's only solid because of the overlying Hydrogen gas? Does any liquid Hydrogen count?