Were/are your parents very openly affectionate towards one another?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

I was thinking about this the other day--some couples seem to be inherently very touchy-feely, even in public, while other couples aren't. My parents aren't really "sweet" towards one another, even when they think they are alone (i.e. they don't know I'm in the next room over). That doesn't mean, of course, that they don't love one another--it just means they aren't very kissy-feely, and they almost never use "pet" names with one another. I never hear my dad call my mom "Baby" or "Love" or anything like that, and vice-versa.

OTOH, I know a few couples who are very openly "lovey-dovey," who always use pet names, whether in private or in public, etc. This amuses me somewhat, but it's also a little awkward since I'm not particularly used to being around people like that.

Or is it just that all parents are "lovey," and they just censor themselves around their own kids? Somehow, I don't quite think that's it...

:)

So...What is it with your parents? You can talk about you and your own SO as well, if you have one, and if you want to.

[Deja Q]

1. Apart from a peck on the lips, no. BTW, your message is prejudiced.

Some of us don't and will likely never have a SO.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

2. Whoops. Will fix that.

Thanks, HT.

:hi:

[Deja Q]

3. Thank you! Oh,

I was hoping you'd have asked me out instead, but editing your OP also works. :7

[WritingIsMyReligion]

4. LOL!

You wouldn't want to be with me. Not only is it illegal, but I'm not the world's best partner. :D

[Deja Q]

23. Illegal? That means one of two reasons...

And I think I just thought of the other reason... :eek:

I'm not into illegal things. (that's the third reason.)

[JVS]

5. No. Touchy feely couples are grotty!

I can't even begin to fathom how grotty touchy feely parents would be!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

7. Tee-hee!

:rofl:

[JVS]

12. You know what else bugs me. When I'm sitting there in church and...

I see couples sitting, or more accurately nestling, together without any space between them! SHOW SOME RESPECT IN THE HOUSE OF GOD YOU FIENDS. It's a sermon, not a TV show; a pew, not your couch! Don't you realize that in less than 20 minutes the blood and body of God are about to be conjured up and distributed? And the worst violators are the couples that have been married for decades. Don't they realize what a bad example they are setting for the young couples who see them and then decide to sit in a similar manner?!?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

13. ...

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I'm sorry, but I'm agnostic, so I could see myself doing that, if out of ignorance, not disrespect. However, I agree that there is a line to watch out for in houses of worship, just out of basic courtesy for those who ARE worshipping.

[JVS]

25. Well the thing is that I know these people are worshipping, but their...

style is a bit casual as far as I'm concerned. They've been there for decades and I guess they feel that they can listen to the sermon with the arm around the spouse. When I visit home, my mom often puts her arm around my back at the pew until I glare at her. I understand that people are there with people they love, but they need to not be so demonstrative. I predict that in 30 years or so there will be kissing during the passing of the peace :shakes head:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

29. My mom always kissed people she knew when we went to church.

It was a Catholic ceremony; what can I say? :D

[JVS]

34. Well I expect my congregation to be Good Lutherans and not kiss.

Eye contact and a slight nod is a perfectly fine greeting. Or even a look at the shoes if someone is feeling a bit withdrawn on that particular day.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

36. There's a Lutheran law against kissing?

:D

[JVS]

42. There are no laws there are merely norms

kissing in or at church goes against the norms

[WritingIsMyReligion]

44. Ah, yes.

I see.

;)

[Nikia]

6. All I remember about my parents being together is they fought

They divorced when I as 4.
My father and step mother were affectionate.
My mother and her 2nd and 3rd husband weren't very affectionate. She and her second husband were perpetually hostile.
My husband and I don't have children yet but we are affectionate sometimes.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

9. That's interesting. I think affection is fine, but it can be awkward.

I suppose you're more inclined to be tolerant of it if you're getting some love yourself...

:D

[eyesroll]

8. My parents are not super-affectionate, but there is the occasional

shoulder rub, hand on the knee stuff. "Hon?" is about as pet-name as it gets. But, it'll be 35 years in January, and aside from a stretch in high school when I thought they were on the brink (which, in retrospect -- I have no idea), they've seemed happy and committed.

I don't have kids of my own, but but my SO has a four-year-old daughter, and she's here a lot...she does see us affectionate. Not groping or anything...but kissing, holding hands, walking arm-in-arm. No pet names, but the occasional "honey," "babe," that sort of thing.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

10. My parents might sit together or whatever, but they never do it in front

of other people. They hardly do it in front of me.

:D

[Oeditpus Rex]

11. Not one little bit

I never saw any show of affection between my folks. None. For most of my life, they didn't even sleep in the same bed.

Once, on my mom's birthday, my sister and I implored my dad, "Kiss her, Daddy! Kiss her!" He went to do so and was met with "Herman, stop!"

:shrug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

14. Are your parents divorced now?

Or are they just not that affectionate towards one another?

Sorry if that seems personal, but I'm just curious.

[Oeditpus Rex]

49. Nope

They were married 46 years when my mom died in 1987. Dad died in '92.

They just weren't at all affectionate. I dunno if that was a product of their generation or their upbringing or what.

[catbert836]

15. Just the opposite.

But then, most of you already know that story.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

18. I think I heard it.

I'm sorry, if that is the right thing to say.

:hug:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

16. Yes but not overly affectionate

It's hard to tell. I see them hug sometimes, they hold hands sometimes, my dad will touch my mother's leg while he's driving sometimes but beyond that they don't really show their affection and love although it's very evident to see it without that kind of physical contact

[WritingIsMyReligion]

20. I see mine hug, and my mom will rage and sob while my dad holds her,

but I've never seen them kiss, besides a peck, and, as I said in the OP, they never use pet names. I think that's because my mother isn't really a "pet name" kind of person--she is usually very sensible and down-to-earth.

[graywarrior]

17. After they cracked open the Seagrams 7.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

22. Pffft.

:D

[WCGreen]

19. My folks just fought a lot....

Both sets...

My Dad and Mom...

And then My Mom and "Ed"....

[WritingIsMyReligion]

24. My parents fight a ton, but they eventually leave off.

My mom likes to get things out through direct conflict. :D

[WCGreen]

28. My Mom liked to gt things out through flying pitchers, glasses...

vases, really anything handy...

My folks made me afraid of Virginia Wolfe....

[WritingIsMyReligion]

30. Ah, I'm sorry for that, WC.

:(

[WCGreen]

32. It was entertaining, to say the least....

[WritingIsMyReligion]

37. I'm glad neither of my parents are throwers.

Though my dad threw a chair once. Or, rather, he picked it up and then dropped it accidentally.

:rofl:

[WCGreen]

40. My folks got in this titanic argument over

Ethel Murman...

My dad said she was the greatest singer that ever lived and my mother took exception to that....

They really must have like to have make-up sex is all I can figure...

[WritingIsMyReligion]

41. Pffffffffft....

:rofl:

[ikojo]

21. ABSOLUTELY NOT...unless you call getting slapped

across the face affection. My parents LOATHED one another. They divorced when I was six.

My mom was not an affectionate person and I don't recall my dad being forthcoming with the hugs either.

Thankfully my sisters have broken the lack of affection cycle and are very demonstrative with their kids.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

26. It's sad to see how many couples argue and fight all the time.

:(

[ikojo]

My mom and dad got married in the 50s for the

MOST WRONG of all reasons...my mom was knocked up. She's not the most maternal of people and should not have had a boat load of kids but she did. My dad controlled which doctor she saw and the doc was Catholic and would not prescribe birth control pills when they came out, thus she had two more kids (me and my youngest brother, now deceased).

[WritingIsMyReligion]

35. Ouch.

:scared:

[Broken_Hero]

27. my parents were

pretty affectionate, and their "sly" talk about certain things weren't as sly as they thought, my brothers/sister and I weren't dumb...:)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

31. I heard my parents talking "slyly" once.

My mother was shitfaced drunk, so....

:evilgrin:

[JVS]

39. My parents had a habit of putting small amounts of trash in packets...

and leaving them around like little wastepaper baskets before throwing them out. Once there was an empty Spermicidal Jelly box sitting at the side of the bathroom sink to collect trash.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

43. That would freak me out.

:rofl:

:scared:

[JVS]

45. I had been gone for the weekend and made sure not to ask how..

their weekend had been.

[Broken_Hero]

47. my dad

thought he was sly, but he was far from it....as a matter of fact, we knew what was going on, and my brother thomas and I would send our younger siblings to beat on their door, and my dad would always open it up a little, and give them dollar bills and say, "go, get outta here, go buy some candy, I'm tired!"....good way to earn a little cash huh?....:)

[u4ic]

33. Nope

Not at all. The first time I ever seen them have any contact (other than abuse) was when I was 12, a dance at my sister's wedding (I was shocked, to be honest). The next time would have been at another sister's wedding, 3 years later.

I rarely ever even seen them talk to one another. And yes, they did stay together until she died (they were married 47 years).

I told myself I'd never be like that, and I'm not. Don't have an SO right now, but when I do, I'm a groper. :D

[WritingIsMyReligion]

38. Look out for the groping u4ic...

:evilgrin:

[u4ic]

50. LOL

[Breeze54]

46. My parents hugged and kissed ALL the time!

We used to try, when we were little, to squeeze in between them
and they'd laugh and make it a 'group hug'! :)

Sort of like this...


or this...

[NV Whino]

48. No.

[FILAM23]

51. My parents were openly loving and affectionate but

not overly so, other then the occassional dear or hon don't recall
any pet names. But there were NEVER any fights or hostility.
They both claimed to their dying day that they only had 1 argument
in their 60 years of marriage (Dad died in 2004, Mom in 2006)

[NewWaveChick1981]

52. Sort of.

I remember seeing my parents give each other quick kisses (not long, passionate ones) in front of my siblings and me. They hugged each other on occasion and showed other outward signs of affection. However, as my teenage years went on, their problems grew worse (mostly due to Dad's alcoholism), and the affection pretty much stopped. They were divorced when I was 16. Mom and Dad never hated each other (and they still don't), and they always went out of their ways to remind us about how much they loved us even if they weren't together. :) They handled their divorce about as well as anyone I've ever seen.

[Arkham House]

53. My parents weren't demonstrative--

--but they were totally devoted to each other. They grew up in a small CT town in the 30s--when they really *were* small towns--bit didn't really get to kn ew each other until after the War...they were New England Yankees. They were deeply in love, but they weren't lovey-dovey, neither did they ever fight, at least in front of the kids. And my Dad's death--when Mom was only 55--devastated her...

[Mutley]

54. My mother and father were not.

My dad and step-mother are affectionate toward one another, but my mother and step-father are not.

[evirus]

55. more lately it would seem

my parents have been calling each other "honey" sense as long as i can remember, but it would seem that sense me and my sister havent been in the house as frequently (she moved to newyork and i spend the weekdays in the college dorms) they tend to be more obvious about it, luckily though they only act affectionate towards one another when they think im not paying attention to whats going on around me(not that im stuck up or anything but romance between parents is just a little in my opinion)

[InvisibleTouch]

56. Never.

So it's a behavior that was just never modelled for me.

A few years ago my mom took it into her head that she wanted to be all huggy with her kids suddenly, and I just found it repellant. I'm sorry, but after 20-some years, your patterns and preferences are set. By then, I simply wasn't accustomed to being touched. I grit my teeth and bear the inevitable farewell hug, but I hate it every time. I don't like anybody in my personal space unless I specifically invite them in.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

57. My mom and my dad were not touchy-feely.

They had a good marriage though, but my dad died a few years ago. My mom got remarried last summer though, and they act like freaking teenagers. It's rather annoying, even though I like my stepdad. It annoys all of us kids (me, my sister, 2 stepsister & a stepbrother) because they're the couple that will sit there and take 100 pictures of themselves kissing on their camera phones trying to get the perfect shot. One day we will kill my stepbrother for teaching them how to use their camera phones.

[MiniMandaRuth]

58. Yes. Frequent making out

that often drives me from the room, screaming, with my hands over my eyes and ears takes place here.

OY.