Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam... and garlic!!!

[T_i_B]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/09/04/nspam04.xml

Showbusiness merchandising, such as Harry Potter jigsaw puzzles and James Bond water pistols, may sometimes seem to be the curse of our age. But, for sheer absurdity, the latest commercial spin-off may never be beaten.

The makers of Spam, the processed pink slab of tinned meat that has long been a national joke, announced yesterday that they are to produce a "collector's edition" flavour, Stinky French Garlic, to cash in on the West End opening of Spamalot, the Monty Python musical fresh from Broadway, at the end of the month.

"That was a long time ago and like the Monty Python team we have a sense of humour too," said Swen Neufeldt, the European general manager of Hormel Foods, the American makers of the tinned meat. "There have never been any hard feelings. Spam and Monty Python have a wonderful relationship that goes back years and years and it seems right that we should celebrate Spamalot."

In the true spirit of the entente cordiale, Mr Neufeldt said: "We will send a tin of Stinky French Garlic Spam to Jacques Chirac. He tends to complain about British food."

[qnr]

1. mmmmm stinky french garlic. I'd eat it, even if it is SPAM. n/t

[BrotherBuzz]

2. Spam spam spam spam

Man: You sit here, dear.

Wife: All right.

Man: Morning!

Waitress: Morning!

Man: Well, what've you got?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam...

Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...

Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Wife: Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.

Wife: I don't want ANY spam!

Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!

Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)

Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress: Urgghh!

Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife:
I don't like spam!

Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress:
Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)

Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!