Alright, does this make me a bad person?

[LostInAnomie]

I have recently noticed a personality flaw of mine. Whenever any of my friends have a baby I tend quit hanging out with them. For example, I haven't hung out with my best friend in two years. "How old is his kid?" you ask... two years old. I've done the same thing with three other of my friends. I don't consciously do it. I just never think to call them, or if they call me to see if I want to do something I always think of something else I need to be doing.

Does avoiding my friends who have kids make me a bad person?

[breakaleg]

1. a bad person? no. a bad friend to these people, maybe.

[MissB]

2. Not at all. How do you know they haven't dropped you?

We used to get complaints all the time from childless friends (usually single ones) because we just didn't get to see them as much once we had kids. Kids really can change your lifestyle - all that staying up late into the night is great when you're single, but when you have kids it isn't any longer by choice. Plus, suddenly your life revolves around this little child who can't talk, so you start talking more like a child and less like an adult.

Even if the real reason you're avoiding them is that you don't like kids - it doesn't matter. It's all good. If they are real good friends, then they'll understand.

[Evoman]

3. Yes, I can't believe you hate children, you cold-blooded bastard.

KIDDING. Its just a natural occurence...besides, people with kids usually don't have time for their single friends anyways. Not only that, when you do go out, its usually annoying to go out with people who have kids. See, I'm the bad person here...I usually can't stand peoples kids, unless they are related to me. And people with kids usually cease to be interesting while their kids are young...its all they can talk about (which is understandable, but BORING). Once they can seperate from the rug-rats, its okay again...but until then, I don't wanna hear about poopy diapers and kids teeth.

[LostInAnomie]

6. That's exactly how I feel.

Whenever they are telling me boring ass stories about how their kid just rolled over for the first time I think "Who the hell cares?"

[zanne]

4. There's been a lifestyle change.

In my experience, people with kids like to hang out with other people with kids.

[Kali]

9. my experience is/was

people with kids don't have time to hang out period.

[calico1]

5. I have done that, thought not right after

they have the baby. Usually it's because their focus changes totally to "all baby all the time" (which I can understand to a point) and there just isn't much in common anymore. My best friend and I drifted apart for some years though we always kept in touch. Now that all her kids are older we are closer again. But when they were little, there was just so much of the diaper, teething, etc. converstation that I could participate in.

[pitohui]

7. no you've just moved on

real world, you have nothing in common w. people who spawn so why would you hang out w. them? it's time to move on and enjoy a friendship that can be based on shared interests

people w. babies are usually boring except to other people w. babies, they can't be a good friend to you either, it's all about the baby

also, avoiding people w. babies is sometimes the only way to stop them from trying to impose on you for free babysitting and free babysitting is something i just will never, ever do

[LynzM]

11. Wow.

Thank you so much for assuming that everyone who has a child is suddenly devoid of all personality, and becomes an instant baby-sitting mooch. Much appreciated. :sarcasm:

[blondeatlast]

8. You may find yourself returning as the kid grows up.

Hubby and I were distanced from many of our friends up through the toddler years, then when the kid was old enough to stay late with the babysitter we renewed our friendships.

I never faulted our friends, even our single ones. It's really hard to connect when the kids are little because they require so much of your time that there is little else to talk about!

Once there was time for us to broaden our horizons, our freinships returned.

Nope, you aren't a bad person or a bad friend.

[Broken_Hero]

10. maybe, maybe not

when my friends had their kids, our hanging out time didn't change much at all...we still hung out, I helped take care of the kid while we hung out(at home). There was a major difference of going out to party and what not, but most of my friends liked hanging out at home anyways(saves money big time). So, our relationship didn't get worse, it actually got better...but I'm a kid person, and I don't mind being around kids one iota.

I'm uncle petersond to quite a few kids....:P