7 year old grandson's heart is broken

[knowbody0]

he's been very sober and quiet this summer and during a long walk on the beach I learned why:
SUPERMAN, SPIDERMAN AND THE INCREDIBLE HULK ARE NOT REAL.

He really did believe in these guys and imitated them whenever life deemed it appropriate for him. At three he would throw his "web" and stand satisfied with the results. He had Superman Jammies and an Incredible Hulk sleeping bag. He and his dad watched the movies over and over again together. They were all really important to him.

Evidently the kids in the "hood" all made fun of him for believing in them and now he knows they are right.

We bought a page of super hero stamps from the Post Office today and made plans to exchange letters.

[reyd reid reed]

1. Oh, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard

Poor baby.

Someone oughta grab those kids up and smack their haids together. God, I hate when people take such obvious delight in crushing someone's dreams and ideals. He would've learned eventually, in his own way and his own time.

Hugs for both of you.

:hug::hug:









(And...even though my parents explained the whole Santa thing to me (on Christmas Eve, no less -- when I was six), I still swear that he exists. Otherwise how can someone who lives paycheck to paycheck without even that being enough manage Christmas without credit cards?)

[knowbody0]

4. thanks for the hugs from both of us!

[Radio_Lady]

26. Oh, nobody! I know what you mean. My 8-year-old granddaughter

is just getting an idea that they don't teach in her parochial school -- She was very quiet one day when we were trying to explain religion to her. "God doesn't do anything," she said sadly.

She also told me she wants me to give her our house when we die. "You won't need it any more and it's SUCH a beautiful house!" She especially loves the Jacuzzi tub -- and looking out the bathroom window at the Douglas firs in the greenway behind our house!

[knowbody0]

29. yes, it seems like reality cheats them in a way

I was always careful to never challenge them about the magic of their innocent minds. My sun used to see fairies in the garden and come running to me so I could see them too. Grandkids are amazing aren't they?

thanks for sharing this beautiful painting, I could stare at it for hours!

[Deja Q]

2. Poor kid. But that's happened to us all at some point.

And even then, some still remain naive. Like me. :D

[knowbody0]

3. He's going to keep them in his mind now

where it's safe to imagine.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

5. Awww...Poor kid!

He must have a fantastic imagination.

You know, in some ways those superheroes ARE real...the same way Santa is real. The characters bring life to our values, and help our kids understand that good is better than evil.

Give your grandson a hug from me...:hug:

[knowbody0]

8. thanks so much

this is my Tanner when he still believed:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

18. He's a cutie!

My little guy is 8 now, and still loves all the superhero stuff.

Come to think of it; how is believing in Spiderman any weirder than believing in God?

[knowbody0]

19. less wierd, actually

and he would never kill a spider, NO MATTER WHAT!

[pokerfan]

42. Pretty much the same thing

Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. And god?

Kids understand make believe. Why is it so important that we go to such great lengths to make them believe these fables when they would welcome them as make believe.

Then we expect them to trust us when we tell them about drugs or sex.

But I feel for the poor little guy. I remember learning the truth. For one thing, Santa had the same handwriting as my mother's.

Buy him a stack of Calvin and Hobbes books. Let him know that there's nothing wrong with imagination.

[knowbody0]

49. Last night we watched the Neverending Story

and I do believe he "gets it"

I agree with you about Santa etc. When my kids asked if he was real, I always said "I have never seen him" None of their presents said "from Santa" Same thing with the Tooth Fairy. All my kids' baby teeth are in a chrystal jar.

[Radio_Lady]

27. A redhead! He's just adorable... beautiful child.

Hold him in the hollow of your heart as long as you live.


Our little fantasy cowboy


Our real little grandson Solomon

[knowbody0]

36. Solomon, you are beautiful!

[Radio_Lady]

40. Knowbody0, how many grandchildren do you have?

We have five that we see, and five who are lost to us -- they are the children of my husband's two estranged daughters who have been kept from knowing us practically from birth despite our best efforts. His daughters lost their mother when they were 11 and 8 years old; I came on the scene 1 1/2 years later, and tried as well as I could to be a replacement parent to them.

We did better with the eldest, a boy of 14. He is now 47 years old -- turning 48 on September 11 -- we just addressed a birthday card to him with a sizeable check inside. Although his behavior was difficult for many years, he has finally mellowed and accepted us. Best of all, he never prevented us from getting together with our grandchild. His only son, now almost 17 years old in his last year of high school -- is a delight. I held him the day he was born and we have enjoyed him for years. He bears our surname, of course.

The five grandchildren whom we are involved with -- are completely and utterly delightful and we are devoted to them.

I've tried with the others, but gifts and letters with checks in them go unanswered. This has been going on for years, and we've finally given up.

In peace,

Radio_Lady

[knowbody0]

46. so far only Tanner

my biological kids are 19,29 &31 and Tanner is my oldest son's. He mated with "the beautiful red head dancing naked at a strip club who is 95% absent from their lives.
10 years ago I adopted three siblings I had in my foster care - all teenagers now, so basically I have 7 children. (I'm a single parent)
I am so blessed with all of them and dream about the coming grandchildren. Tanner is with us daily while his dad works. You should see our dinner table - My 19 year old daughter is Native American, the older boys are blond Irish, the three siblings are Hispanic, and i am white hair now. It's a hoot.

It's so sad about your estranged grandkids, must make the others even more dear to you. Do they see one another? Solomon has such bright eyes. Lucky you Radio_Lady. I always enjoy reading your post, so often about your grandkids.

Peace and Love to you and yours.

[Radio_Lady]

57. Are you an islander?

http://www.whidbeycamanoislands.com/

One of my stepdaughters lives on Bainbridge Island!

How is island living with such a big family? You sound like a saint -- what with taking care of so many children. I think we should call you St. Knowbody0!

[knowbody0]

59. yes indeedie!

Life is goooooood! I wander the beaches endlessly, and see God in the sunrises and sets whenever I can. We are about an hour and a half from Seattle, but I do most of my hunting and gathering in Mount Vernon, which is heavily populated with Latinos because I am more comfortable there. There are tons of artists here on the Island. All these Islands are really beautiful and it is my opinion that we are part of the rain forests for North America. I am most at home where the foam touches the forest. Yep, I am a lucky girl, but trust me, I am no saint.

[Radio_Lady]

61. "...where the foam touches the forest..." What a beautiful expression!

Thank you for such a glorious image in my mind (mine's prettier than this...this is Tahquamenon Falls in Michigan.)

[knowbody0]

63. that's close though!

It's truly mystical to come from a darkened heavily ferned forest with great great great grandfather cedars out to the openness of the water. a highly recommended journey.

p.s. as a 12 year old little Catholic girl, i fashioned my own nun's habit and walked through the woods saying the rosary.

[Monk06]

33. I feel for the little guy. I took things hard at his age. He's sensitive

and probably above average intelligence. A bit
of a cross to bear.

Give the little man my regards

[knowbody0]

34. thanks gbrooks

yep, really intelligent. I remember watching him sleep one night, he'd toss his web out with sound effects every now and again. today he is very serious about becoming a scientist so he can invent cars that fly and run under water like a submarine.

[Monk06]

41. My advice is feed his curiosity with books. Old issues of Popular ..

Mechanics, Auto Repair Manuals, anything with
pictures.

When he gets older challenge him with picture
books on geometry and astronomy.

After that push him towards mathematics. He'll
need that if he is interested in science. Start
with Euclidean geometry and move on to Algebra.

You could introduce him to single variable algebra
by the time he gets to grade 8. That's a one year
jump.

I've been through this myself. My own father
thought I was retarded when I was five years
old.

All my teachers thought I was an underachiever
until grade 10. I made the decision to change
programs in grade 9 and ended up with a Master's
degree.

Your grandson is special. He has an imagination
that is quite sophisticated for his age. Nurture
that because it is rare.

BTW he is drop dead gorgeous. The girls will be
lining up for the privilege of talking to him
when he's thirteen, so be on guard for those
distractions.

Encourage him to be his own person and not yield
to peer pressure.

You are obviously a great gran. I wish I knew
my own grandmothers but they died before I met
them.

[knowbody0]

47. Thanks for these recommendations

I buy him old lawn mowers at thrift stores which he takes completely apart, scrubs everything down with wire brush and gasoline, then puts them back together. Yep, he is incredibly driven and intelligent. We shop the thrift stores for books every week and he often choses science.

White light surrounds this kid, seriously.

[Monk06]

55. Your grandson is blessed knowbody0 and so are you .......

One of the most neglected areas of the
education of gifted children is visual
and tactile stimulation.

Your grandson will pickup abstract thought
very rapidly in his mid teens. For now you
are doing a remarkable job. It is a short
jump from building lawnmowers to advanced
science and engineering.

For example Ludwig Wittgenstein was the
most influential philosopher of the
twentieth century. His only degree was
engineering but he revolutionized logic
and put an end to his teacher's philosophy
career. His teacher was Bertrand Russell.

When he was your grandson's age he built
a working sewing machine out of tooth picks.

He invented the jet reaction helicoptor blade
that was incorporated into the Fairey helicopter
thirty years before helicoptors became
operational on a large scale.

He did all that while transforming the
fundamental assumptions of modern logic
when he was still a teenager.

[knowbody0]

62. you are very kind,

what an inspirational story. Tanner's dad owns a metal shop in an industrial area near a small airport. We often visit there and have come to know an eccentric German man who buys old army helicopters and customizes them into personal flying machines for very rich people. He adores Tanner and lets him sit in them at the control panel. It's a serious hoot seeing machine gun turrets turned into luggage compartments.

Every day can be a learning experience for me as well.

[xmas74]

6. They've got that reality tv show on Sci Fi right now

about superheros. Yes, it might be time for him to know that they don't really exist but it would show him that some people really wish they could be more like them.

The nicest thing about the show is actually the people on it. They will personally answer kid's emails and send them letters in the mail if they are written to.

[knowbody0]

9. thanks, I'll check that out

He can use his super hero stamps!

[xmas74]

12. I read on the Sci Fi channels boards

that they were sending them trading cards and things like that.

From what I've read it's the two main guys-Feedback and Major Victory-that were sending things to nearly any kid that wrote to them. Both also have websites and myspace accounts so they are easy to contact.

My six year old got an email back from Feedback and he (or his wife, they run the site together) stated that if "Mom gives her permission" she can send her address and they will send her an autographed picture.

[knowbody0]

14. way Kool!

[xmas74]

16. that's why I thought I'd bring it up.

What kid wouldn't love that!

She wants to print out the email and take it to school.

[Robb]

7. Even the Hulk?!?

[knowbody0]

11. ESPECIALLY the Hulk

He was the first to go.

[Metta]

10. They may not be real people but they're real in his mind.

He can tell his homies that he can still have fun with them, no matter what. Sometimes kids are like crabs in a pot. The ones at the bottom pull down the ones who are trying to get out.

[knowbody0]

13. absolutely!

he says even though he knows they're not real, he still dreams about them.

[Metta]

15. I hope you encourage him. They're valuable projections of himself that he

internalizes through playing with them, i.e., he learns positive values, self esteem and having fun. Inestimably valuable.

[knowbody0]

17. Indeed

today I shared the yin and yang thing and he seems to comprehend action/reaction, contraction and expansion.

[Metta]

20. Way to go. I'm sure he'll benefit from your interactions.

If you can get him to do even simple meditations, he'll benefit from those as well.

[knowbody0]

21. He has a "magic" rock

that he holds while he concentrates to center his "power",

[Metta]

31. Makes sense. He's using it as a portal, not realizing that he's the rock.

That's a perfectly fine thing for him to do, developmentally.

[knowbody0]

32. I agree,

We found this rock on the beach here. It's amber the size and shape of an egg, quite beautiful.

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. Awww. Poor sweet baby. I hate those parts of parenting.

:( For your grandson... :hug:

[knowbody0]

23. leaves ya kinda sad n/t

[Beausoir]

24. Ouch. A painful yet inevitable lesson learned for the little guy.

Poor sweetie. Extra hugs to him tonight.

And..he'll bounce back.

[knowbody0]

25. thanks

yep, he's bouncing! he's going to create his own super heroes in his mind, AND he's going to be a scientist. It's all goooood.

[Broken_Hero]

28. Boo on those kids...

What a sad story...:( I remember the day I found out santa wasn't real, third grade, on the bus, last day of school before xmas break...

As for believing in superman/hulk/spiderman...they are as real as you believe...just like Santa...:)

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

30. Awww I am so sorry - I went through the same thing ...

mean kids suck.

[Floogeldy]

35. I am glad your 7 year old grandson has been sober.

:smoke:

[knowbody0]

37. me too

you can thank Nancy Ray-gun "just say no"

[Floogeldy]

38. She is SO such an idiot.

Good post. :)

[knowbody0]

39. I always wanted to choke her scrawny neck

[JVS]

43. It's better that he be told the truth. 7 is pretty old to believe those

[knowbody0]

50. It had to happen

he's recovering. I never realized how "real" they were to him.

[DrDan]

44. What do you mean, Not Real??????

[datasuspect]

45. i remember when my drunk uncle back in 1976

around xmas time (i was six) was dressed like santa claus.

he tortured us by pulling his beard off and saying "mommy and daddy are santa claus, want me to show you?" and opened the closet door which had the gifts "santa" was supposed to deliver.

all the kids were crying, i was too.

he was telling us santa wasn't real.

it pissed my dad off and they scrapped right there in the living room and knocked the tree down.

there were all kinds of family members there. it was xmas eve.

[knowbody0]

51. that's horrible!

how traumatic for all you kids. As an adult, have you ever confronted him?

One of my real joys has been to do so with the "boogymen" of my childhood. these asshats never think about the kids they terrorize growing up.

[Arugula Latte]

56. Talk about "Bad Santa"

Man, your uncle was probably Billy Bob Thornton's inspiration for the part.

[Critters2]

48. I felt the same way when I learned the truth about American democracy

Give him a big hug!

[knowbody0]

52. No doubt!

Vietnam did that for me. I was never the same.

thanks for his hug.

[earth mom]

53. Ah, the poor kid! My kid was heart broken upon learning Dinosaurs

are extinct and cried buckets of tears over it! :cry:

Yup, the big bad world is out there...wish we could keep our kids innocent and free of it forever!

[redqueen]

54. Awww that's so sad...

:(

My condolences, and bless you for the stamp idea. That's marvelous. :)

[Evoman]

58. It had to happen sometime

As sad as it may seem, its good for him in the end. Real life is harsh, but its better to deal with it, than not. I'm kind of suprised that he thought they were real in the first place...I mean, didn't his dad correct him when they watched the movie. I think too many people set up their kids for the fall...if you know your kids are going to be sad about it, why lie to them about the hulk, Santa Claus, or the toothfairy, in the first place. Kids shouldn't be too shielded from reality...too many grow up to be too shielded from reality as adults.

[knowbody0]

64. none of us really pondered how real they were to him

however, he did quote Peter Parker often. I agree with you and have never promoted the Santa thing or the tooth fairy.

[Evoman]

66. I didn't mean to imply that its your fault.

Peers have so much more of an effect than parents, unfortunately. I have a friend who told her kids many times that Santa Claus did not exist. They refused to believe her, because their friends said he does exist, and they saw him in the mall. In the same vein, my girlfriends sister in law taught her kids, very early on, about anatomy and told them that girls peed from their urethra, which is next to the vagina. Some kids at school told one of her boys that girls peed from their bums...sister-in-law had a hard time convincgin him otherwise. His friend HAD to be right.

A lot of kids lose their belief of Santa after being ridiculed or set straight by their friends.

[Lisa]

60. and yet, if they are not real -- why do so many people know who they are?

I was about your grandson's age when I realized that there is a kind of "fuzzy area" for fictional characters (those who were created in books and illustrations, and those who are portrayed in TV and movies by actors). In some ways they actually are real. (And also folklore characters like Santa Claus, Robin Hood and King Arthur, who at one time were real people but are now quite different!)

When I grew older and became a social scientist, I learned that perceptions -- of what the world is like, and our role in it -- are actually another form of "reality". They arguably are more important than what is "really out there", when it comes to making decisions like how we negotiate with people in other countries, or what to do about global warming.

Thousands -- sometimes millions -- of people have all collaborated to create an idea of who Superman or Spiderman or Batman are. I think it's pretty amazing that, despite having such a wide variety of backgrounds and beliefs, the characters which emerge are fairly consistent.

My mom showed me some pictures of Superman in various situations, drawn by a classmate of hers back in the 1930s (not too long after the original comic came out). The boy who drew them is probably in his 80s today, but both he and your grandson share a deep-down understanding about what kind of person Superman is.

I bet you wouldn't have to go too far on this board, to find people who wonder how President Bartlet would solve a particular problem, and then try to act accordingly ... even though they are ostensibly grown-ups who know that he is only a TV character.

Kids who understand fictional ideas and still cherish them, despite other people scoffing at them, often grow up to be writers and artists ... or scientists and philosophers ... or moviemakers (like my cousin, who also had a thing for the Hulk, and now lives in Hollywood).

If someone asked me, at age 10, whether Santa Claus is real -- I would have said no. But almost 30 years later, given the same question -- knowing what I know now, I would have to say, "sort of!".

[knowbody0]

65. wise words, Lisa

David and Goliath come to mind. I often think of David when "terrorists" are criticized. I love the Native American stories so integrated with nature and the universe.

I really enjoyed your post. Thank you