Why is it I'm not closer to people here?

[YellowRubberDuckie]

Why is it that I've been here since 2003 and I've only ever made friends with 3 people? I don't chat with anyone off DU, I've never talked to another DUer on the phone, except for Kleeb. Am I not friendly enough? I love the people here. Sure, I get pissed occasionally at people, we all do, and sometimes I stick my big foot in my mouth a lot...but am I completely unapproachable, dare I say, am I not friend material to you guys? What's the deal?
Duckie

[bigwillq]

1. I'm not really close with anyone off DU

but I feel like I have many friends here.

I've meant one DUer, who I love lots and consider him a friend but we hardly ever talk on the phone.
He's the only DUer that I ever talked on the phone though.


I guess it's all in what we classify "close" and "friends" as.

I like you. Hope that helps! :hi: :hug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

2. You're a sweetheart.

Thanks. :hug:
I have a lot of friends, but only a few people I'd call close. I mean the close ones are the ones who shared with me the most special moments of my life. The friends are the ones who wanted to look at the pictures. Does that make sense?
Duckie

[reyd reid reed]

6. You're a doll, Doll

You're one of the first people who encouraged me to start posting and really made me feel welcome. You're a very special guy.

:hug:

[bigwillq]

13. Aww..thanks!

So glad you did start.

You're a cool chick!

:hi: :hug:

[Redstone]

25. He is a good guy, indeed. Someday, I'll have to keep my promise to

have lunch with him.

Redstone

[bigwillq]

27. It better be before you move

if not I don't know when the heck I'll see you! :hi:

[Redstone]

29. Well, I'll still be back down every quarter or so to visit my customer

in Wallingford. But as the circumstances of the move become more clear, scheduling the lunch with you will gain priority. Promise.

Redstone

[reyd reid reed]

31. You'd better

And take pics, too. Both of you in the same place, at the same time?

I'm jealous.

:loveya:

[reyd reid reed]

3. Of course you are

I've met a lot of good people here and a few that have become very special to me but I think that a lot of that has to do with luck of the draw. In the short time I've been here, you've struck me as eminently likable and friendly and personally, I've never noticed you being snarky or mean.

Heh...and I spend so much time with my foot in my mouth, both here and in real life, that I ought to just make labels for my shoes. "R" and "L"

Or maybe "L" and "L"...my two left feet and all.

:hug:

:hi:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

5. LOL...

I agree. I'm just lucky that the people i hang with understand that I have no filter between my brain and my mouth.
I appreciate the kind words, too, Reyd.
Duckie

[Oeditpus Rex]

26. Careful, girl

He's a sportswriter, y'know. :scared:

[reyd reid reed]

34. Awwwww

Some of my best friends are sportswriters. They don't scare me.

Unless they're funny, swirly patterns.

:scared:

[Redstone]

4. You're no different from a LOT of DUers, I suspect.

Redstone

[YellowRubberDuckie]

12. Yeah...that's true...

It just seems like there are a lot of groups of friends on here, and I always feel like I'm missing something.
Duckie

[Redstone]

18. Well, I miss things too, but it's because I'm oblivious. Hope that's not

your reason as well.

One of us being oblivious is more than enough.

Redstone

[YellowRubberDuckie]

19. No...most of the time, I don't care.

LOL You're not oblivious. You just have better things to do. :evilgrin:
Duckie

[mzteris]

43. ain't *that* the truth!

:-(

[Sanity Claws]

7. Nothing wrong with you

I think there are some nice people here but I know them only through DU. I exchange some personal messages with people from a personal interset group.
I think our situation is the norm.
I've never thought of you as snarky. You shared your wedding photos with us some time ago. I thought that was very nice and open of you.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

14. Thanks.

I was happy, and wanted to share them with everyone. Hell, I wanted to invite all 90,000 DUers to my wedding reception! lol
Duckie

[Ariana Celeste]

8. There's only one I really talk to off of DU,

but even then, that's on Myspace.com.

You seem cool to me!! I'm know I'm definitely not the type that stands out, so I don't take it personally. :)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

17. Are you on MY myspace?

Cause if not, you should be.
http://www.myspace.com/the_pond
Duckie

[Ariana Celeste]

21. Right on... just added you

I am "oh noes!!11!"

;)

I don't get political on Myspace but I have posted in the Myspace DU group a few times. :)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

28. I try not to get political even here...

I'm way too close to the middle, and I get eaten alive.
Duckie

[xmas74]

78. Just added you too.

It's the nine letter name that starts w/ a "B".

[dpbrown]

85. I'm on your MySpace

I think you're aaaaaaaalright....

:hi:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

86. You like my rants about...well, EVERYTHING?!

:hi: I think you're aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalright too!
Duckie

[Deja Q]

9. Same here.

I semi-regularly PM chat with 4 people... probably less by now.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

15. YOU are one of my favorite people.

I love your posts, and I think you're incredible. :hug:
Duckie

[Deja Q]

20. Thank you. Indeed, I always seem to be coming back...

You're one of those reasons. :hug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

23. Awwww....

:blush:

[QuestionAll...]

10. you are my new best friend just cuz you said what you did...

but really, there is an established community here that has bigger voice (not so much bigger value input, imho, but some yes).

don't fight it, just go with the flow. relax.
We all want to be heard and listened to and if you don't get response from a comment you made here, doesn't mean nobody is listening.

I've felt very much like you at times, but when i reach out and comment by pm, I sometimes hear things that are quite the opposite of my preconcieved non being here. ;)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

11. Well, you're MY new best friend because you're Canadian.

I'm crazy about canadians. Just ask HEyHEY. :evilgrin: I think it's the accents. I'm crazy about them.
Thank you for the nice words. I really appreciate them.
Duckie

[QuestionAll...]

46. what accent ? eh?

guess I haven't been round the block or two enough in travellling about, but Canadians have accents?
I suppose, Newfoundlanders certainly do, French Canadians do as well, prolly Urkrainian, Chinese, Ferangee ones do as well.

And someone from Georgia may sound a bit different from a New Yorker or a Californian...

I'm interested to know what this general different accent is to you.

[QuestionAll...]

16. and I admit...

I'm just not sure how close I want to be anyway...

I want to be close to the waft of this place, for sure. But getting 'new friends' here (in the personal dialogue back forth Pm's) when I can't keep up with my real life ones....

Lone Wolf kinda person here. But

Sometimes A Great Notion.
ya never know.

[Ariana Celeste]

24. I am kind of like that too

I have a lot of trouble keeping in touch with my own family sometimes!! It's not that I don't want to.... it's just that I'm not very talky and my mind drifts easily... :)

[QuestionAll...]

42. those who travel lightly...

are fleetest of foot. (can't find who said that so i'll take the credit, aarrrr!)

[LynzM]

22. I think....

You have to stalk the Lounge obsessively for a while, reply to 80 jillion posts, and cross your fingers :)

That, or more PMs, and replying to the people who don't get lots of replies, because you never know, those might be the people who become your friends!

:hi:

[Lisa0825]

30. I never woudda guessed...

As much as you post, and as many replies as you get, I just assumed you had quite a circle of friends here. :hug:

I think the only people from DU who I talk to on the phone are the ones I see in person too.... people from my area, who I got to know in the state forum and through meetups.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

33. I even tried that...

But apparently no one in oklahoma wants to hang with us. LMAO.
Duckie

[Lisa0825]

40. well get your tail down to the Houston area sometime, and we'll party!

:party:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

41. But...it's Texas...

I'm from Oklahoma. We don't like Texas. :evilgrin: But seriously, that sounds great. Oh, and I hate the Sooners. If that doesn't make a Texan like you, nothing will. LOL
Duckie

[Lisa0825]

51. I was an Okie for about a year and a half!

I lived in Midwest City. My ex-in-laws are from Jones and Midwest City. I worked for about a year at the Greystone Restaurant in Edmond. I used to party at the Samurai Saki House.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

71. Samuri Saki house is no longer there.

It's some mystery place. Neither of us can remember what's there now.
Duckie

[QuestionAll...]

58. back in the BBS days...

i was talking with people local, had a few meetings with them as time went on...

and what a total dissapointment, in myself, and how I was so not what they thot I was (i'm shy but a blabber mouth on html), as well as what they weren't in mine... people I thought were so cooler than I,

were not, really.

I ain't killing that santa claus again.

[elocs]

32. Let me be perfectly honest...

This is an internet message board like thousands of others out there where you have people posting under made-up names who can be or say whatever they like and none of it has to be real. I think that I just read that DU has 94,000 members and I am sure that many are nice people and the law of averages would say that some are probably jerks. I post here because here I will find people who are more like minded than on mixed boards. That being said, I am not interested in being close or closer to anybody on DU. I will agree, disagree, commiserate, empathize, sympathize, and help any of my fellow DUers, but I have no desire to be close to any of them.

[Courtesy Flush]

35. Beeecause it's the internettt?

Go out and meet people face to face. These people are scattered all over the globe.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

38. I have a ton of friends in real life...

I just like being able to say I have friends everywhere. I love having friends from different places, different perspectives, with different upbringings, etc...
duckie

[Courtesy Flush]

55. Okay. As of today, I am your friend

My name's Jeff, BTW.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

70. I'm Melissa...

Nice to meet you!
Duckie

[citizen snips]

36. you are not the only one.

I have never met or talked to anyone outside of DU.

[texas1928]

37. I have some friends on here.

But I guess I do not fit in. I am an admitted moderate.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

39. Ditto...

And i totally dig you. Let's not fit in together. :evilgrin:
Duckie

[texas1928]

45. Hey the square pegs always stick together in a round world.

So Cheers.

Here is to square pegging it.


:toast:

[Fox Mulder]

44. I'm not really close to anyone here on DU...

except ZombieNixon because he's my facebook buddy.

Other than that, no one PM's me or emails me or anything like that. :( :shrug:

[ZombieNixon]

48. I've got some other DU facebook buddies as well...

Wait for a few weeks until we all get back to school and start some random thread about Facebook. We all tend to come out of the woodwork then...;)

:pals:

[Fox Mulder]

49. When do you start school?

If I was still in school, I would've gone back this past Monday.

[ZombieNixon]

50. I move back in Saturday and classes start on Wednesday...

I think Wednesday, might be Thursday. :shrug: S'pose I'd better find out. ;)

[QuestionAll...]

47. you either have to be absolutely base or genious.

to get the initial attention, is what I'm thinking. Then you work your crowd.
pure shock and awe for emotional reactions or 'serious talk' that will sell you t shirts or books.

the middle can do better, I think.
It did, years ago.

[ScreamingMeemie]

52. I thought you were my friend...

I really and truly did. :( There are times when I have felt super close to you.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

62. Oh we are...

You are my friend...There are times I've felt super close to you too...It's just that I don't talk to you on a regular basis. You are one of my favorite people. Hell, everytime someone mentions an appraiser at work, I think about you. :evilgrin: I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I was just feeling ignored and unloved here this week. It had absolutely nothing to do with you. :hug: Thanks for being my friend, Laura.
Duckie

[ScreamingMeemie]

89. You didn't hurt my feelings...not one bit.

:loveya: :hug: :loveya: I'm always around whenever you need someone to rant at, talk to or just veg with. :hug:

[Corgigal]

53. Same with me

Give me your phone number and I'll call. I do sound like a New Yorker...because I am.
ha.

Then we can join the when I chatted with X on the phone last night they said....

[YellowRubberDuckie]

63. Holy shit, I love new yorkers!!

And the accent is wonderful. I usually sound like I'm making fun, but I'm not, because I usually start doing it. I love having friends from New York! It rules! I love the place. and I need friends for when we visit...and possibly move there.
Duckie

[LSK]

54. you can sorta say the same about me

But I think I keep a "wall" around me sometimes.

[ScreamingMeemie]

56. I don't know...I think you are kind of neat.

And quite level headed, which always earns my respect and admiration. :hi:

[LSK]

57. thanks

:hi:

[6000eliot]

59. You let me add you to my buddy lists when I didn't have anyone

So, I consider you "friend material."

[YellowRubberDuckie]

64. I remember that!

And I'm so glad you're my friend!
Duckie

[qnr]

60. Nothing personal Duckie, you just smell like Oklahoma, and I'm alergic

:hi:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

65. I smell like Gardenias and Black Raspberry Vanilla!

You're allergic? Damn! :hi:
Duckie

[trof]

68. Gardenia. My FAVORITE!

honest

[YellowRubberDuckie]

72. I hate the stuff from Bath and Body Works.

Avon's smells great though. Stay away from the B&BW Gardenia...although everything else is safe.
Duckie

[trof]

77. I was thinking more a blossom behind your ear.

I like the real thing.
:-)

[qnr]

90. mmmmm Black Raspberry Vanilla n/t

[khashka]

61. I think you covered it Duckie

"I don't chat with anyone off DU".

Look, this is an artificial environment. It's difficult to truly make a connection, to make friends. Mostly we just take each other on trust. A good start, but that's all it is - a start.

Meeting CAPeggy on the phone scared the hell out of me. But it was a risk that has paid off infinitely. HypnoToad and I have been establishing a friendship online and with a little work on both our parts it's starting to work. I've admired KitchenWitch from afar for a long time. I have her number on a post-it on my monitor - but I'm scared she won't like me as much as I like her.....

People sometimes think that on-line friendships don't matter. I beg to differ. I have friends I met on-line and our friendships have lasted for many years.

I'm your friend. I always read your posts and am happy to see you are posting. That's a start, eh?


Khash.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

67. Thanks, I appreciate that...

I've been friends with people online for years now, and until I go here, I met almost all of them. I've taken so many road trips to the Dallas area, it's insane. I even met my husband online. It's very interesting to see how people add up to their online personas. Khash, you are an awesome person, and even though i don't always agree with you, i do consider you a friend on here. I consider a lot of people here my friend...it's just that I wonder if others see me as their friend. :shrug:
Duckie

[trof]

66. OK, you can sit right down here next to me.

How's that?
Cheek-to-cheek.
That close enough for ya?
:hug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

69. You're so cute!

And is that a clean shaven cheek? Cause if it is, those things drive me crazy. :evilgrin:
Duckie

[trof]

76. Um...the CHEEKS I was referring to

have never felt a razor.
:evilgrin:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

82. Ewwwww...

Why would you do that?!

Duckie

[Beausoir]

73. I've never felt "close" to anyone here. Been here for a long time.

I use DU as a source of information and to debate and trade opinions with others and I keep my social life offline.

Sometimes, it can be a very juvenile place to be, what with the members who fancy themselves queens or kings of the sandbox, but so can real life..just think back to high school.

[begin_within]

74. For comparison, I have been coming to this web site since just before the

2004 election, and I have made 4,158 posts so far - yet I don't feel like I am genuine friends with anyone here, because I have left the site and not visited for as long as 2 weeks and nobody even noticed that I was gone. There are hundreds of great people here, and they can all be good acquaintances, but genuine friends, I really don't see that happening here. And it's not because of your personality, it's just the nature of this type of communication.

[Beausoir]

79. I think that's a good point.

The nature of this type of communication just doesn't seem to "work" as far as establishing deep friendships in my life. I need something more...to see a person and hear them and be with them, in order to really feel close to someone. There is a great difference between acquaintances and genuine friends and I am slow to make both. But they last forever.

[begin_within]

80. They don't always last forever though! Everything ends.

[xmas74]

75. I work odd hours but

am always glad to catch a fellow DUer outside of the boards. If you have yahoo im send me a pm and let me know your id. I'd be glad to catch you!

I have a few DUers on yahoo that I speak to on a regular basis and some on occasion.

[graywarrior]

81. You sound like me, YRD.

Must mean you are COOL.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

83. I DO try.

:evilgrin:

[JVS]

84. This thread is useless without pics!

;-)

That's just me, being a scumbag

[YellowRubberDuckie]

87. Want a pic?

Last pic that was taken of me.

[MissMillie]

88. Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

Just like me, they long to be close to you.

:silly:

[Left Is Write]

91. I don't think you are unapproachable at all.

I've always felt friendly toward you, even when I haven't agreed with you.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

92. I'm so glad...

That makes me feel great, Left, because just because we're disagreeing on something doesn't mean we can't still get a long and be friends. I have a hard nosed conservative friend at work, and she's awesome...when we're not talking about politics.
Duckie

[datasuspect]

93. i have no personal relationships with people here

i'm not averse to the idea of it, but i am somewhat paranoid about giving personal information anyway.

and i do make it hard for people to like me.

i'm pretty sure 95% of the people here think i am some kind of freak, but i'm comfortable with that.

[ikojo]

94. I don't have any DU friends..I post but

I don't think I'd be missed if I didn't post for a few days. Well, I've not posted for awhile and wasn't missed, or so I think.

Maybe if I make it to a DU meetup or something. I wanted to meet some DUers when I was in NYC in April but didn't make it.

[chaska]

95. Me too, since '03....

You're doing better than me. But I'm not really trying either.

And lately, and regretfully, this place bores me silly.

Sorry, in a bad mood.

[The Straight Story]

96. I probably have more enemies here than friends :)

But hey, it's internet relationships. Here today, tombstoned tomorrow...

If ya need a friend though, here I am. PM me, can send you my regular email address, we can be like prison pen pals or something, instead of bars on the windows, we have monitors (or, the OS windows, which is like being in prison...more open source!).

I like to talk, and do enjoy listening to people and what they have to say. That's why I like hanging here on DU. It's like someone else's kids, I can enjoy people then click home and head back to google where it is all quiet... ;)

[last_texas_dem]

97. You seem like a nice person

I think it's mostly a matter of just responding to a lot of people's threads and pursuing friendships with people. Judging from the response to your thread, I'd say a lot of people like you and think of you as a friend. I'm not very close to many (or any, really; depending on how you define "close") on here b/c I don't post a whole lot (it's taken me almost five years to have as many posts as some folks on here get in a couple of months!) and don't really pursue people. But I'm shy on here, as I am in real life, so that's just the way I'm comfortable w/ being. There are a lot of nice people on here who I feel like I've gotten to know in some way, even having never met them or really communicated with them. Message boards are odd that way.