God damn flying cats!

[jmowreader]

Too many years ago to count, someone gave us one of those roll-around dishwashers people used to have back in the sixties. They got a plumbed-in one and didn't need this.

After washing many loads of dishes, it sprang a leak in the tub, so we couldn't wash dishes in it anymore. We noticed that it makes a fine place to store bowls and the top is exactly the same height as the countertop, so we just stuck it at the end of the counter, put the microwave on it and filled it with bowls and lids.

This evening, our biggest flying cat was on top of the door when she saw me bent over the broken dishwasher getting a bowl out, and decided that my back would be an even better place to sit than the door. (I don't know why. The door is warmer and, considering how skinny I am, probably softer too.)

Whomp.

So now let me see...I have a red streak from where the edge of the dishwasher top hit me in the forehead when the cat landed. I have a massive cat right where I can't reach her. I have knowledge that if I try standing up straight in an attempt to dump the fucking cat on the floor, I'm gonna have eight real long stripes running all the way down my back. And I've got a wife standing there laughing and going "don't look at me, you encourage that behavior."

I got the cat off my back by lying face-down on the floor and slowly rolling onto my back. The cat crawled all the way around my body and wound up on my ribs, where I was able to grab her and have one of those little discussions that seem to be happening more frequently with this animal...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

1. Take a look at the claw marks, and see if they spell anything

One of our cats patiently etched the word "YIKE" on Mr GoG over a two year period. I guess he couldn't do the letter s, so he quit.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. There's nothing like an air assault from a flying cat

to get your attention. My own exemplar of aerofelinity generally aims directly for my torso, but he's been known to come at me from behind. My raggedy terry cloth bathrobe is a testament to what happens when he does that. Fortunately he seems to understand that targeting my nekkid skin is not a good idea, but maybe only because he gets a better purchase on terry cloth.

[Arugula Latte]

3. When one of mine was younger, she used to use me as a

stepping stone to cross the room. She'd jump from, say, the couch, to my shoulder (which I wasn't expecting!), and on up to the bookshelf. Kitties. Ya gotta love 'em! :loveya:

[GardeningGal]

4. I just have to kick this because the picture you created in my

mind has me laughing. I needed that!

:rofl:

[Solon]

5. Here you go...

[pink-o]

6. When I was 16, many decades ago....

...my 17 year old sis had a great cat who had 4 kittens. We kept one--ultimately the slowest and stupidest one. A black and white huge Tom named Morgul. Well, Morgul didn't do much other than sleep, and one day my sis thought it would be hilarious to toss him to me. Not from a far distance where he might get hurt, just about 12 feet away. Anyway, Morgul landed on me with all claws displayed, where he proceeded to shred my inner forearm into about 5 fajita-sized strips. The kind of lacerations that took an hour and 1/2 to bleed, but at least didn't require stitches.

Anyway, 35 years later, I can still see the scars if I'm in the right light.

So yeah, maybe the world will end when pigs fly, but cats seem to do it all the time and the earth is still spinning.

[bertha katzenengel]

7. Dear jmowreader:

:rofl: I am so sorry for your pain, but :rofl:

I love your posts.