Has the foster care system/adoption system affected you?

[MoseyWalker]

and if so, how?

Thank you for responding!

:hi:

[qnr]

1. Um it made me. I have nothing to compare it against, so I can't really

say "how."

[MoseyWalker]

2. thanks!

:hi:

[qnr]

4. YW - I can say it was certainly interesting, because I was a *monster* as

a child and I never stayed in a single foster home for more than six months... normally two max.

[MoseyWalker]

5. The lack of time spent with one foster family

is what the people I work with try to change.

You have obviously turned out to be a good (if somewhat opinionated!) person.

I can't imagine what you went through over the years, just as none of us knows what others have experienced, but the results are what matters, and I send you a toast! I hope you have some good memories of some of those folks!



:toast:

[qnr]

8. I do have good memories of some :) thanks. n/t

[hyphenate]

3. Well,

I honestly don't know. I was adopted, but it was 50 years ago. And it was a within-family adoption, so I don't know what elements were involved. But I can say that I got to read a very nice letter in my record just three years ago from the judge that was put in the permanently (closed) records.

I was finally able to get to see those records, but I had to petition the court to do it. I guess at 47, it was "safe" for me to see them. :-)

[MoseyWalker]

6. Peace!

:hi:

[auntAgonist]

21. hi hyphenate

I'm glad you were able to access and read the letter :)

we miss seeing you over on the 'other place'

aA
kesha

[Broken_Hero]

7. Yes and yes...

I was adopted, and the system worked fine...:) My wife and I are going the adoption route in January, so I will have to dance with them again...

As for the foster care system, I don't have any fond words to say about the mess. My wife and I tried becoming foster parents through Cherokee Nation and is was an utter disaster. The lady from Cherokee Nation didn't know what she was doing, the interview was a joke, because my wife and I knew more about the process than she did, and many of the questions were so effing outlandish and hypocritical, I have no idea how to fathom the whole situation.

To top it off, our house, out in the country is a high risk zone for traffic...because...hear this, 4 cars pass our house every day...and one is a school bus...deemed our house unsafe. Because of the firearms we had, we were deemed unsafe(she actually wanted me to sell them, give them away), our house was deemed unclean, although my wife and I spent a whole week steam cleaning rugs, and cleaning the whole house...our little puppy dog was a menace, and our house was considered unsafe because we had a wood stove in the living room...

When I got the whole list of complaints from this witch, I tore up the whole mess, and threw everthing in the trash. The woman had the audacity to call us for a few weeks asking why we haven't been back in touch. My wife told the woman, in a very profane way, to go take a hike....

It was a mess...yet, I see DHS, and other people who are foster parents in this county, and they are a complete mess, and take advantage of the kids...and my wife and I weren't good enough? I offically hate the Cherokee Nation Foster Care systeam, and from what I see of DHS in SW Missouri, they are just as worthless....

[MoseyWalker]

9. What a horrible person you had to deal with

damn.

There are many places to look if you are native american. If you want, I can provide you with quite a few.

Trivia question:

Ever heard of Monett?

[Broken_Hero]

10. yes, I have heard of Monett

its a city about an hour or so north of us, I believe. We are going through Keetowah Band Cherokee nation, for adoption...My wife and her family are Keetowah Band, and that tribe seems to be a whole hell of a lot better than Cherokee Nation...plus, my wife is on very good terms with the Chief George Wickliffe....so, when we finally decide to get the ball rolling, we are going through Keetowah band...

IMO, Cherokee Nations is one of the worst run tribes that I have ever seen in my life...and believe me, I have seen quite a few badly run tribes, but so far, Cherokee Nation takes the cake.

on edit: Monett is about an hour east of me, sorry...:) I think its pretty close to Springfield, MO.

[MoseyWalker]

12. The thing about the Cherokee Nation is

pretty much everyone can claim to be a part and get on the census.

I have nothing against Cherokee people, but there are definitely many less than claimed to be.

You are probably following a good path.

Peace

[Broken_Hero]

14. I dont' have anything against the cherokee people

at all, but I do have exceptions to the ones in charge of the tribe, primarily their chief Chad Smith, and his second in command Joe Grayson. I can go into depth about how crazy they are, but I will save that for a better day...:) Go check out the native american group, and you will see a couple good stories about them there...:)

Cherokee nation has decendancy, and has put some weird emphasis on their tribal members who are 1/9857987948th cherokee, than full blooded elders, who are totally engulfed in culture.

[auntAgonist]

11. I was a foster parent to 3 boys

2 long term and one who only stayed with us a very short time. He was (thankfully) returned to his home to live with his mother and by all accounts they did well as a family.

I still have contact with one of my foster sons,he stayed the longest with us, the third one stayed the second longest and ended up needing more professional help than I was able to give him. We lost contact after he moved out of the group home and on to another family. My eldest (bio) son runs into him once in a while and says he's doing fine and always promises to call.

How it affected us as a family.

Having 'chosen' sons was a challenge at times but well worth the effort put out by all of us. It gave my son brothers he'd not have had, had they not come to live with us. It broadened our horizons and also made us vulnerable to the hurts and pains of other families. We faced a lot of situations we'd never have experienced otherwise. I was in the horrible position of telling our foster son of his mom's death due to drug overdose,more horrible for him though, I'll never forget the look and the tears and how he held on to me, the heart wrenching situation of explaining to him why his two bio-brothers were going to be adopted out and he wasn't. (the psychiatrists said it was best to keep him in the system)
It was rewarding, heartbreaking, joyful, sorrowful, we laughed a lot, cried a lot and generally became stronger as a family for a while. The stress over the long haul (we only ever had the 3 boys but the longest stayed 12 years)became too much and coupled with other issues my marriage ended. Still, we shared custody of ALL of the children, they were OUR sons.

sorry for rambling .. but that's how it was in my little world .. for a time anyway.

aA

edited: because I realized I made it sound like the death of my foster son's mother was horrible for me and not for him, (maybe?) anyway, I fixed it.

[Broken_Hero]

13. Thanks for that post

it was really hearfelt...:) :hi:

[MoseyWalker]

16. Thank you so much for what you did, and

who you are.

[knowbody0]

15. 10 years ago

I adopted three "unadoptable" sibling who had been in my foster care for a year and a half. They are all teenagers now, 2 on the honor roll, all three amazing and beautiful people. You?

[MoseyWalker]

17. I admire you for what you have done

I have done things in my adult life to try to make life more understandable for people.

[knowbody0]

18. all in all, I've fostered over 50 kids

Many of them grown now and a part of our big extended family. Whatever we CAN do, we MUST do for these kids, too often forgotten and betrayed by those who hold power over them.

I'm betting you help lots of folks, MoseyWalker.

[auntAgonist]

20. I always admired those of you who

could foster SO many children.

thank you.

aA

[auntAgonist]

19. fantastic!

Your family should ALL be proud of the people you are :)


aA

[Oeditpus Rex]

22. I was adopted when three days old

I have no idea about any genetic predispositions. I've never seen my birth or adoption records.

Fucking California. :grr: