What should you do if you find an Atheist?

[Fuzz]

Spiritual Safety Tip

What should you do if you find an Atheist?


If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to
these poor lost souls yourself, however
AVOID TALKING TO THEM!

Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.

http://objective.jesussave.us/kidz.html

[LuLu550]

1. what I want to know is

what do Atheists yell out during sex? :evilgrin:

[matcom]

2. OH MATCOM!!!!!

:D

[jonnyblitz]

5. I am an atheist and I doubt you would want me crying that out.

:hi:

[matcom]

7. you might be surprised

:hi: :D

[Fuzz]

3. I'm sure there is a "Big Bang" joke in there somewhere.

:)

[ochazuke]

4. Nothing

"A Vulcan would not cry out so"
....Spock, Star Trek (original series)

[kcwayne]

9. The same thing the theist do

just alot more often.

Oh except for the part about "I'm a sinner, flog me"

[Fuzz]

11. Get some of these and you won't have to worry about that.

http://www.cafeshops.com/objectivemin.2016596

[ironflange]

13. You gotta see this!

http://www.cafeshops.com/objectivemin.3749749

uncomfortable

[lazarus]

6. heh heh

Advanced witnessing techniques.

I used to be the final exam for Jehovah's Witnesses in my town. Every Saturday, a pair would come to the door. Always the same senior Witness and a new junior Witness. Senior wouldn't say anything. I always invited them in and had a chat. It was fun.

Years later, I was on a job site with the senior Witness, and he admitted they were using me as a test. If a Witness couldn't handle an hour with me, they needed more training before they could be let out on their own.

So a good time was had by all.

[Zomby Woof]

8. of course we're grumpy and bitter!

We have to deal with proselytizing 4 year olds and a Chimp in the WH who calls himself God's chosen one!

Damn right we're bitter! :D

[demigoddess]

12. Yes, brother

I am a christmas time curmudgeon myself because of all the attempting to convert that goes on this time of year. Lets hear it for the non prosletizers. (sp)

[trof]

10. satire

I posted this and the website in a huff of (un)righteous indignation a couple of weeks ago.
Someone pointed out that it was a spoof.
My face is still red.

[trotsky]

14. If it's a spoof, it's VERY subtle.

They bash LandoverBaptist.org, link to legit sites, etc.

I dunno, usually satire sites are a bit more obvious. This one makes me very uneasy.

[ironflange]

15. Not a spoof

These people are obviously very serious. It's scary.

[trotsky]

18. Then I'm officially disturbed.

It's very scary. To praise America and freedom in one breath, and then want to censor anyone "anti-Christian" in the next.

:scared:

[TreasonousBastard]

19. It's gotta be a spoof...

This is at least the third time this site was mentioned here in the last six months, and some crew out there has far too much time on their hands. Satire at it's best-- so good it doesn't look like satire until you think about it.

There is no Fellowship University, the marriage thong, and a bunch of other small hints are all over the place. Check out the founders' bios for more hints.

And, this page:

http://objective.jesussave.us/gametheory.html

Wotta hoot!

Even better:

http://objective.jesussave.us/pastorscorner.html

Google the organizations mentioned in there and see what happens. Missionaries AND the Nigerian scam. Brilliant!

Infinitely more subtle than Betty Bowers or Landover Baptist. These people are laughing their holy asses off.

Oh, yeah..

WhoooHooo-- not so subtle:

http://objective.jesussave.us/aquatic.html

"Welcome to the fanciful world of Evolutionist fairy tales, where apes lived under the seas and gave birth to humans"

gotta love it, but don't dare let them get your email address, there could just be a scam in there...

[NightTrain]

16. What should you do if you find an atheist, ear-lie in the morning?

What should you do if you find an atheist,
What should you do if you find an atheist,
What should you do if you find an atheist, ear-lie in the morning?

Hoo-ray, up she rises,
Hoo-ray, up she rises,
Hoo-ray, up she rises,
Ear-lie in the morning!

[absyntheNsugar]

17. Oh god that site is sooo funny

If it weren't so fricking scary I would be on the floor!