Don't feel like posting on DU anymore.

[leftyladyfrommo]

There are just too many absolutely nasty people.

Maybe it is just a sign of our times - people have gotten too frustrated and too depressed about stuff. So they just strike out at anything they find slightly irritating.

But I don't think "manners" are necessarily a bad thing - especially during bad times.

I'm just going to tune in and see what is going on from now on. It's a lot safer that way.

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. Much as I hate seeing these posts, leave if you have to.

But I will defend DU and it's inhabitants. I think you're being way too harsh. Are there nasty people here? Yes. But there are nasty people in your own neighborhood/town/countryside. The majority of DUers get along and aren't here to cause trouble. But, we are an opinionated bunch and spirited conversation is often the soup of the day. One somtimes needs a thick skin to post here. I think you need to look again. DU is pretty much like life. Where the loudest and the craziest get the most attention. But there are tons of us "nice" folk here. I hope you put down your broad brush for a little while and give your self a chance to see it.

On edit: I give you this...as proof. Does this look like the outpouring of a bunch of nasty people?--

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=5564715&mesg_id=5564715

[WritingIsMyReligion]

2. In agreement.

:thumbsup::thumbsup: for MrsG.

:hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. Hi WIMR,

No matter what our differences may be, I will always remember with great fun and happiness how much fun and hope we all had calling for filibuster. :hug: :hi:

[johnnie]

4. "The majority of DUers get along and aren't here to cause trouble."

Yeah, whatever. Talk to the hand. x(







:evilgrin:

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. Ahhhh here comes one of the noisy ones now...

:rofl: :hug: :hi:

[Sugar Smack]

11. "Talk to the hand"

I freaking love johnnie. I haven't heard that in years. :loveya:

[Radio_Lady]

63. Illustration: (SEE BELOW)

Anybody ever read Lynne Truss' 2005 book with that title?

Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door (Hardcover) by Lynne Truss

You can read excerpts of it here:

http://www.amazon.com/Talk-Hand-Utter/dp/1592401716/sr=8-1/qid=1156887745/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-3947034-2339146?ie=UTF8

If you didn't know what this expression means (I didn't), you might want to go here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk_to_the_hand

Talk to the hand (or tell it to the hand) is an English language slang phrase associated with the 1990s. It originated in African American Vernacular English as a contemptuous and urbanized way of saying that no one is listening, and is often elongated to a phrase such as "Talk to the hand, because the ear's not listening" or "Talk to the hand, (be)cause the face don't understand". "Talk to the hand" is often considered to be a sarcastic, or obnoxious phrase, and is commonly associated with urban black youths, especially black women, as well as teenage valley girls who adopted it, and guests on daytime talk shows such as Jenny Jones, Jerry Springer and Ricki Lake during confrontational segments. The phrase was originated by actor and comedian Martin Lawrence, and along with such phrases as "You Go, Girl", "Getta Steppin'", and "Waassupp", was popularized in Martin Lawrence's 1992 sitcom Martin. "Talk to the hand" was later mimicked by actress Fran Drescher in 1997's The Beautician and the Beast.

[Sugar Smack]

5. Now THAT was a good reply.

Well said, MrsG. :D

[ScreamingMeemie]

12. Thank you Sugar Smack

:hug: I'm supposed to be working. :D

[Sugar Smack]

16. Do you really think we're going to let you do THAT?

:bounce:

[mainegreen]

6. I feel sad for the green ball in your sig.

Every time I see him he's always still traveling down the escalator with that slightly sad expression on his face. And he never seems to get where he's going.

I have no idea why that should make me sad, but it does.

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. Someone else told me it was too sad of a sigline for me.

Isn't that funny? KitchenWitch found him for me after the "escalator flamewars". :hi:

[progmom]

21. progspawn LOVES your escalator smiley

:hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

37. I am glad to oblige small children.

:hi:

[Haole Girl]

42. I like sigline, MrsGrumpy...

perhaps we should vote on it? :hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

44. That would make me an attention whore...

:hi:

[Haole Girl]

50. Oh my...

I repeat: You are not an attention whore! :hi:

[qnr]

62. You know what is weird about how I look at your graphic, is that it

reminds me of one of my pet peeves. It looks like a cameraman is following the little critter perfectly... now, my peeve was how, on all these adventure shows (especially in the past, when equipment was huge), the big shot was always talking about how difficult it was for him/her to reach a particular location.. When I was a kid, I always thought: "WTF? Difficult for you? What about the person having to do the same thing you did while lugging that huge camera around?"

[leftyladyfrommo]

34. I'm not leaving - just not posting.

I just don't seem to have much in common with the other posters - maybe because I am older than most and my concerns are a lot different.

I'm not sure I should even be a Democrat - probably would be a better fit to be a Green party person.

I find that as years have past I am not as excitable about some things but a whole lot more concerned about others: The environment is a big one for me (huge). I'm a pacificist so Iraq and Afghanistan are big. And civil rights and fairness.

But just politics? Nah. Politicians are just politicians. By the time they get to the top they have all sold their souls a thousand times over.

[ScreamingMeemie]

35. I think you misjudge DUers. Run a search of the age threads, and

you'll be surprised. The 35-80 crowd is well represented. Myself being included. FWIW, some of the hugest arguments on this board have been started by Greens...if we're going to talk about manners. I, myself, am a moderate...and I have found a wonderful home here. The hide thread button helps me achieve that.

[leftyladyfrommo]

38. What is the "hide" thread?

I wonder if I can be a Green and a Democrat at the same time? Or maybe there is just an active part of the Democratic party that is Green minded. Somewhere that all of the Old Hippies can go hang out.

We have some really individual issues that need to be addressed - and the younger people just don't have a clue. Like all of us that are losing our jobs and there is no work out there for us. And pretty soon no medical coverage. There are millions of us who may well just lose everything and have to try and live from hand to mouth. It is kind of hard for super wealthy policians to get on that bandwagon.

I'm sick to death of talking about Bush and Cheney and Rove - they are just too dispicable for words and they aren't going anywhere until we elect them out.

I would sell my soul to go out on the Greenpeace boat. But I'm too old. And I think I get seasick in bad weather.

[Sugar Smack]

39. "the younger people just don't have a clue"

:wow: Just wow.

[leftyladyfrommo]

41. I know. And that really worries me now.

I remember what is what like before we lost all of our privacy. I don't think we have any privacy now. And we just sat there and let it all go down the drain.

I remember when you could say pretty much what you thought and not get shunned by everyone around you.

I remember when people just worked for one company most of their lives and actually came out of it with a pension for when they retired - to go with their social security. And all working people had insurance. Or if you didn't it wasn't so horrible. A single hospital stay now costs thousands and thousands of dollars. Do you just die or do you try to survive and then live with all your assets gone?

I feel such tremendous loss - our democracy is slipping away - and very quickly. I think people raised in the computer age just don't understand what they have given up.

Young people are worried about getting a "good job." Just try being over 40 and trying to get just a fairly decent job. It is so depressing.

[buddhamama]

47. wow !

there is a lot of bitterness in your post and generalities concerning young people.

it is funny, because in your previous post you mentioned that perhaps you are better suited for the Green Party. The Green Party is made up of people from all walks of life but, a good majority of their members are the youth you have so much disdain for.

i think you are being extremely unfair to the "youth" of this country. you do realize don't you, that a record number of young persons voted this past election? but yeah, they don't care the way you care, they're obviously self-abosrbed do-do brains.

if you are going to automatically dismiss people's views/opinions because of their age or because they might have slightly different priorities than you, then how can you expect them to listen to you?

in closing i leave you with this: respect is given when respect is earned.


edited to add content

[datasuspect]

77. i call them the "columbine generation"

raised on video games, the first generation to have spent their lives mainly inside/insulated.

i have young nephews who tell me about "liability issues" involved in stuff that goes on at their school.

12 year olds. liability issues.

when i'm feeling more severe, it almost seems like kids nowadays have almost no imagination and stunted sense of what "play" is.

christ, i grew up in the 1970s. not THAT long ago. it was MURDER to have to stay INSIDE. the kids i run across nowadays prefer inside.

and complete lack of historical context.

by age 10 i knew what the holocaust was, what vietnam was, what the korean war was, what WWII was, who FDR, KING, the KENNEDYS were, etc. etc.

i dunno, maybe i am just more and more grouchy

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

55. People who consider the green party a viable alternative don't have a clue

[catbert836]

59. That's true.

It's been co-opted by the GOP to steal votes from the Democrats, similar to what's happening in reverse with the Libertarians. I'd rather be an independent any day over a Democrat or Green.

[ScreamingMeemie]

40. At the end of each thread post in each forum there is a little grey

box with an "x" in it. If you click on it it will remove the thread, but it will also keep a listing of it in your options called "Manage Hidden Threads", so if you change your mind you can remove it from the list and see it again. I think, if you look, you will find many who share your exact same concerns. But joblessness is affecting us all, thanks to NAFTA. If my husband lost his job (a CNC programmer in the automotive industry) we would be up the proverbial creek.

I hope you find what you are looking for. :hi:

[catbert836]

58. That's an awfully broad brush you paint with.

I don't appreciate being told that I don't have a clue- and my guess is neither do the numerous DUers of my age group.

[leftyladyfrommo]

78. I didn't mean that as a put-down of young people

But there are just things in life that young people can't understand - because you haven't run into it yet. And until you really face it your self you just can't understand how devasting it is.

It is kind of like me trying to understand how my 92 year old mother feels. She is in a nursing home and feels like she has just been put there to die But her health is so bad that she has to be there. It is really pretty awful even tho the nursing home is a good place.

One of those things is what it is like to be over 50 and have so many doors shut in your face. For lots of reasons. Companies want younger people - they have more enthusiasm and they are cheaper.

But it is very difficult to be completely shut out just because of age.

I am thinking that it might be a good thing just for the aging babyboomers to get really organized. And start fighting back as a group. Fighting for better health insurance and medical care.

[skygazer]

64. Perhaps the reason you find so many people nasty

Is because you make insulting broad brush generalizations about certain groups of people and belittle the things they're concerned with while claiming that your concerns are the only ones that are truly important.

Just a guess.....

[huskerlaw]

66. Wow.

LeftyLady...

We have conversed from time to time and I consider you one of the "good guys" on DU, but your comment about young people was really a low blow.

Do you feel that way about me? That I don't have a clue? That all I care about is getting a good job?

Because unless you're talking about teenagers, I'm one of those young people that you just broad-stroked. And even if you are talking about the teenagers, I will direct you towards the posts of Writingismyreligion, Minimandaruth and Ava (who no longer posts here much but was an amazing contributor when she did). They are but 3 of the many teenagers we have at DU who are not the least bit clueless.

[Sugar Smack]

69. Thanks!

:yourock:

[buddhamama]

43. don't let your poltical leanings prevent you

from posting. let me tell ya' dear, i am a survivor of numerous flamefests on the issue of Nader/Green Party, Equal/Civil Rights, the Wars, shoot I have even survived the I/P forum. I am a nice person, ask anyone, so if I can handle the heat surely you can too. i think people often take opposing views as personal attacks. I don't unless a poster makes it personal, and if that happens ignore them. And, I am proud to say that, in my 5+ yrs at DU I have had only one post deleted.

[ScreamingMeemie]

46. ...and I am proud to say, you were the very first person who was nice

to me. :hug: So much for bad manners. You're an icon, buddhamama.

[buddhamama]

49. yeah,...

and about that deleted post thingy, it was a matter of semantics.

don't make me get medieval on your ass Mrs.G with this icon talk...i hate to blush. :D

i love you! :loveya: :hug:

[Ptah]

3. It's too bad this isn't required reading.

[Joe Fields]

23. very apropos.

[GalleryGod]

7. DUJHS

Recall what it was like in Junior High ? Voila ! D.U. !

Nothing more, nothing less.

[zanne]

9. Another thing that bothers me about DU...

People who say that they're leaving DU because people have been mean to them and they want some attention. Uh Oh...was that mean?

[Blue-Jay]

13. I don't know about "mean", but it was fucking accurate.

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. You know what bothers me?

Everytime we have a pizza party no body leaves any for me. x(

[zanne]

28. You have to jump on that pizza!

As soon as it comes in the door! Use your elbows; block and tackle! It's self defense!:evilfrown: :evilgrin:

[ScreamingMeemie]

36. But, but...my mother raised me to be a lady...

:rofl:

[RevCheesehead]

17. Yes.

Yes, it was.

[zanne]

24. Reverend--Is it a sin if I "fake apologize"?

What if I say I'm sorry but I'm not?

[qnr]

27. See, now that doesn't bother me. I understand that most people dislike

it, but to me, it is as valid a post as any other. Someone stumbles across DU and thinks that they've found a community of like-minded individuals, and jump into the the fray with their own thoughts & observations. Eventually, they decide that it's no longer enjoyable, decide to leave, and give us their reasons.

Why not? Over time, they have made friends and acquaintances that will wonder where they disappeared to, if they don't give any indication that they're leaving. PMs might work for a limited sub-set of those that will end up wondering, but are unlikely to reach all of them.

While I might not agree with much of their reasoning, whatever prompted them to make the decision is obviously important to them. As something that is significant to them, it seems appropriate for them to mention it on a message board. Perhaps they hope that it will influence someone to change, perhaps they just want to vent ... whatever, to me, the subject matter is certainly as justified a topic as a thread on the antics of someones cat, how a persons last date sucked to high heaven, or why someone thinks a celebrity/politician is an idiot.

I don't think it's "looking for attention" any more than any single post anywhere is "looking for attention." If you didn't want attention, you'd keep all your thoughts and observations to yourself, period, rather than posting them for others to see.

[zanne]

29. It's just so passive-aggressive, y'know? nt

[qnr]

31. Granted, but the person is upset - I think they /should/ vent. It's not

going to cause the ultimate demise of western civilization, and people that don't want to read the posts can just avoid them if it bothers them. If someone dislikes them, yet continues to read them, then the post itself is possibly not the issue.

I'm just rambling though :)

[mad-mommy]

51. good points, good post n/t

[qnr]

56. Thanks. I debated responding to this with just a "thanks," but I think

saying it is appropriate. :hi:

[I Have A Dream]

72. I agree, qnr. n/t

[GirlinContempt]

79. I disagree

Because more often than not, those reasons are insulting and childish, and make people feel defensive for very good reasons.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=4332505&mesg_id=4332505

[qnr]

81. I read your post, and while I thought it was humorous, I thought /it/ was

insulting and childish. I read it when you originally posted it, and contemplated responding, but I never did. Note that I'm not saying I'm right and you're wrong, just that we have different opinions on the matter :hi:

Edit: expanded a little bit.

[skygazer]

18. I agree that manners are a good thing

But I've never understood why people feel the need to announce the fact that they're leaving (or no longer posting - somewhat ironic to post that you won't be posting, after all).

The beauty of a message board is that you can do as you like - if you don't care for a poster's attitude, you can put them on ignore, you can hide threads, you can simply not read the stuff that bugs you - or you can choose not to post.

You can also choose to see the "absolutely nasty" people - I tend to notice the funny, good-hearted, sincere ones. Glass half empty or half full?

[auntAgonist]

19. In the time I've spent here on DU I must admit

I have not experienced any of the nastiness of which you speak. I have seen some posts that I'm surprised at, from people that I would have expected a little better of. But I would not say that there are any absolutely nasty people here. Maybe I'm naive and / or blind. I just don't see it. And I'm very thin skinned when it comes to some things, so you'd think I'd be one to say that DU has too many absolutely nasty people .....

aA

PS: I hope you're reconsidering your thoughts about DU today. Everyone has a bad day now and then. :)

[qnr]

54. "Nastiness" is also relative. Some people, myself included, just don't

have a lot of tact. If I have something to say, I'm going to say it. My opinion might be totally different than "yours" (not you in particular), and I might be being blunt, but that doesn't mean I had any intention of being nasty, or that I don't acknowledge your right to have a different opinion.

[Katina]

20. Isn't this the reason to use the "ignore" function?

Instead of leaving, why not just put those who are offending you on ignore.

[LostinVA]

22. I love Ignore -- it's a great thing!

[Katina]

25. I've never used it but

it seems to me that instead of just leaving, the logical thing to do would be to turn it on...or however it works. :D It accomplishes two thinks from what I can tell...it keeps you from seeing any nasty sh*t directed at you so that way you don't respond with nasty sh*t. Sounds like a win/win scenario. :D

[LostinVA]

32. Bingo!

[idgiehkt]

60. I don't use ignore

or haven't yet...but I do use hide thread when I've passed my alotted time I'm allowed to spend arguing about something.

There isn't really anyone here that I've found that consistently pisses me off...it's more about issues for me.

[Joe Fields]

26. Often, you need a thick skin to hang out here.

I moved from the GD area to the lounge, because in GD, it's like a massive fight between Pit Bulls every day. It was wearing me down. I moved to the lounge to lift my spirits, and guess what? It worked. That doesn't mean it doesn't get rough around here sometimes. But the lounge is a good place to be.

Just dust yourself off, and give it another try.

[zanne]

30. I like both places.

GD is good for being serious (and maybe a little pissed). The Lounge is like a mini-vacation.

[Joe Fields]

33. GD is a good place. But I was getting TOO serious. And too

pissed off all the time.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

57. The worst is when there's a massive fight about pit bulls in GD.

[Kali]

71. ...

:spray: :thumbsup:

[Cruzan]

45. DU's a lot like the real world -- a high tolerance for nastiness and

rudeness, but get the slightest bit sexual and watch how quickly the hammer comes down.

[graywarrior]

48. You just showed up. Sheesh, give it some time.

[mad-mommy]

52. I'm new here, so hello, & hope you change your mind

[graywarrior]

61. Welcome.

:hi:

[Haole Girl]

53. OK, I've been thinking off and on about how to respond to this..

..for over an hour.

I decided against reading the other posts, so please excuse me if I am repeating anything.

Regarding your comment: There are just too many absolutely nasty people. That is just a plain exaggeration. And, I feel the need to defend DU, especially the lounge. Otherwise, I feel like I would be condoning your generalization.

Now, as you're probably aware, I've had my moments where I've been fed up myself, and posted things that if I'd waited 5 minutes, and taken a deep breath, I might not have posted.

From my perspective, especially recently, the DU Lounge feels like a place of refuge. A place where like-minded individuals can vent and make silly jokes and relieve the stress (and often boredom) of every day life in this conservative hell we're in (compliments of the Bush Administration).

Go if you must, if it causes you less stress or depression, or makes you feel "safer," as you say.

I am sorry you feel so hurt. And, if you'd like to stay, or come back in a little while, I'm sure we'll welcome you back. Why? Because DU is just like that! :hug:

[insane_cratic_gal]

65. You know what KC

You have to be the most level headed person i've yet to see on these boards! Your an absolute charm, we're lucky to have you

:pals:

[Haole Girl]

67. Awww...

thank you!! :blush:

[Left Is Write]

68. I recently took an extended break.

There were lots of reasons, some having to do with DU itself and some having nothing whatsoever to do with DU.

I needed it. I feel refreshed now, and I missed my friends here too much to stay away forever.

If you feel you need to take a break, I think you should.

[leftofthedial]

70. I hope I wasn't one of the nasty ones.

If so, I'm sorry. I hope you'll come back. DUers are a good lot mostly, don't you think?

Too bad so many of us have been pushed to the margins by five years of corrupt corporate fascism. Stress and desperation are nobody's friend. But so many here at DU ARE friends, especially when things are bleak.

I wish you the best. Peace, peace of mind, contentment.

[astral]

73. Well, now, in defense of Leftylady ----

And I Quote her here:
What is the "hide" thread?

I wonder if I can be a Green and a Democrat at the same time? Or maybe there is just an active part of the Democratic party that is Green minded. Somewhere that all of the Old Hippies can go hang out.

We have some really individual issues that need to be addressed - and the younger people just don't have a clue. Like all of us that are losing our jobs and there is no work out there for us. And pretty soon no medical coverage. There are millions of us who may well just lose everything and have to try and live from hand to mouth. It is kind of hard for super wealthy policians to get on that bandwagon.

I'm sick to death of talking about Bush and Cheney and Rove - they are just too dispicable for words and they aren't going anywhere until we elect them out.

I would sell my soul to go out on the Greenpeace boat. But I'm too old. And I think I get seasick in bad weather.
____________________________________________________________

Maybe young people DON'T, in general, have a clue yet, as to how much this country has changed from what it was. Maybe I can see that as a valid point without it being a put-down to all young people -- young people can CARE, and can LEARN, and even do a pretty impressive website and radio show, but the process of getting enlightened is different than having lived long enough to see the horrific changes first hand. Basically America is not what it used to be and in a very serious way. If you are young and you can **SEE** this, great! Let's hear about it, not put down someone who was making a point, I would even add to that that it isn't specifically "young people" who "don't have a clue," but people in general who get their main information about what's going on in the world from mainstream TV and newspapers and stuff. They're not being told the truth.

As to being a Democrat --- here's my take on it, the "Democratic Underground" is a place for democratic views and discussion and tolerance for differences (well, we're kinda hit & miss in that area), and not about whether your political party is the Democratic Party.

Leftyladyfrom MO ~~ I hope you don't get put off by the tenor of this thread and take off because of it, although if you need a little break, I've been there, done that, with certain forums before! I hear what you're saying in the context you meant it. I am pretty sure, anyway!

And, it is the American Way to be terribly offended at the slightest hint of ignorance. Check out John Holt's "Why Johnny Can't Read." Also, John Taylor Gatto's "Dumbing Us Down." He's got another better longer book out now, but I haven't got it.

Our Educational system is deliberately set up to make us not learn to be able to think for ourselves. I'm afraid it's working. Don't believe me, anyone, how about Charlotte Iserbyte's "The Deliberate Dumbing Down of America." She knows for a fact not only that it's happening, but that it **IS** deliberate.

It is a very discouraging time in America today, it really is. And it's REAL depressing when it seems like no one else around you is even paying attention. We live in very interesting times, for better or for worse.


______________
PS: So the purpose of the 'hide thread' is so you can hide from yourself anything you don't wanna see? Please consider! The people who are pissing you off may well be the ones who can Learn ya Somethin'!

[leftyladyfrommo]

76. I didn't mean that as a put-down to young people at all.

I was young once, too. And until you hit the vulnerable time in your life you just don't realize what happens to people in their 50's. I sure didn't. But I had my whole life in front of me then - how could I possible understand. Until it happened to me.

[SoyCat]

74. I'm quite new around here but I have to admit that the reason I registered

(after lurking several years) was that I wanted to be able to ignore the posts of one person who just seemed really mean to other posters. This person's mean attitude toward others actually prodded me to join DU. I'm glad to be registered--and not just because of ignoring that one bad apple.

[Omphaloskepsis]

75. This is the Internet.. This graphic might help..

Blaming things on young folks is really lame. Goodbye!

[querelle]

80. That's Too Bad

I really hope you have a change of heart because most of us here are good people. It's a shame that you feel you must stop coming to DU because of a few assholes. Manners are important and it seems to be something that is lost lately, but please don't let it colour your decision to leave us. By all means take some time off, but come back. We really like you!

Q