Freeper Scene from an Italian Restaurant

[Zomby Woof]

Nini and I tried this simple Italian restaurant tonight (and yes, an indie, so hold your fire) - neither of us had eaten at this place before and figured it was worth a go.

Towards the end of our meal - which was serviceable and decent - we overheard this pasty white Had-To-Have-Been-A-Republican at a nearby booth place his order...

And his wife's.

Was she mute? What is up with that? She had hair twice as big as Katharine Harris's, and sat there like the good little woman (and she wouldn't make eye contact with the waitress) while her chunky aging frat boy husband placed her order, after he placed his of course.

Fuck that shit. I about puked my cannoli, and Nini, not one to suffer subservient women at any cost, did all she could to contain herself. Then as we were leaving, they looked at us as if WE were the mutants.

They must have come down from Palos Verdes to slum with the regular folk.

Fuck rich people's pretension and fuck misogynist Republicans and their willingly diminutive "little ladies". :puke:

[buddhamama]

1. agreed -

fuck them ! :grr:

[Zomby Woof]

3. YEAH!

:hi: Buddhamama!

and :grr:

[buddhamama]

5. once more...

with feeling Fuck Them ! Hi, ZW. :hug:

[StrongBad]

2. Blech. That's revolting

As an aside, do you think women like this purposely seek out these sort of men to take charge of their affairs? In this day and age I don't know how a women could put up with that mentality and b.s.

[buddhamama]

4. I find the Fundy female Pols

are the worst. Do they not realize they're walking/talking contradictions.

their literal interpretation of the Bible they profess we should live by would not allow them to run for/hold public office.

they wouldn't be 'allowed' to work, period. they would be married to a man not of their choosing to basically become property of said husband, with practically no rights whatsoever.

[Mr. Blonde]

7. One of my friends got married over the summer

And although I had been to Baptist weddings before I had never heard one so much on the subservience of the wife in it. I was sitting there thinking she is actually volunteering for this? It doesn't sound like any fun at all. And she was doing this before she turned 21. No way in hell I would ever consider getting married before I could get wasted at the reception...and then most days following it if I was a glorified slave.

[leftofthedial]

6. okay, I'll fuck the diminutive little ladies

but you're on your own with the misogynist repukes.

[benny05]

8. Was the lady Paris Hilton or one of her Ilk n/t

[Zomby Woof]

9. More like a Kool-Aid wife

This place wasn't tony either, just an ordinary unpretentious place.

[benny05]

10. Thx for the Report...

Kool-aid wife...

[buddhamama]

11. to prove my point

from above:

http://www.bradenton.com/mld/bradenton/news/breaking_news/15369852.htm :crazy:

[Zomby Woof]

12. Blessed are we, the sinful!

:evilgrin:

[buddhamama]

13. ya' got that right

:7

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

14. I've had worse happen in Italian restaurants with liberals

I once commented that a bottle of wine was only 7 dollars more than a litre of the house crap. I was promptly told by the person I was with that I didn't know the value of 7 dollars. :eyes:

[Zomby Woof]

15. Figures

What you know the value of could fill a wine cellar. :-)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

16. It was loud enough for the tables around us to hear

I've never been so humiliated in my life. It was probably the tackiest thing I've ever had occur in a restaurant.

[Zomby Woof]

24. Classless and disrespectful

Of course, it comes as no surprise.

[jpgray]

25. Boy I'll say

[radwriter0555]

20. House wine by the liter is usually a mixture of the leftoever bottles and

sometimes glasses of wine, left behind, unfinished, en table... after the diners leave.

Want good wine? Order it by the bottle.

[Susang]

129. I'm sorry, but that's just not true

I'm not sure where you got the idea that restaurants re-use leftover wine, but I've worked in bars and restaurants for 19+ years and I have never once seen anyone do any such thing. It is against state and federal health codes and liquor laws and re-using and re-packaging any kind of alcohol would get you shut down in a heartbeat. The liquor commission takes that shit very seriously.

House wine usually comes in large jugs or boxes with pour spouts and is often the same wine they buy for cooking. I've also worked in several places where the house wines came in bottles and had to be uncorked just like any other wine. A great many restaurants now offer excellent wines by the glass. So there are definitely more choices than house wine from a jug or ordering a full bottle that you don't necessarily want.

[Shakespeare]

21. Oh. My. God.

You know your wine, which, frankly, shows you DO know the value of the seven bucks. Good lord.

[jobycom]

17. Maybe she was shy.

:shrug:

[Zomby Woof]

18. I doubt it

A shy person probably wouldn't look at us like we're the devil. They could tell we're just a bit more of a liberated couple. :P

It was his manner, and the vibe. He had a very smug manner, but hers was WORSE. It was GOP-style entitlement and sexism.

And even if she was shy, fuck her. Speak up and be assertive. She looked to be in her 40's. Time to grow up and be a person, you know?

[jobycom]

19. Maybe she thought you were hot and was afraid to speak or look up

Then when she saw you leave she glared because she didn't have a chance to jump you? :P

Nah, probably just shy.

[last_texas_dem]

22. I don't know if the ordering thing necessarily means anything...

From your description of the couple, I wouldn't have a hard time believing they were 'pugs, but I don't know if the fact that he ordered for her necessarily means anything. I come from a family of shy people, and having one person say everyone's orders seems more convenient than controlling. My dad used to do that for everyone in my family, including my mom, when my sister and I were kids, and I never thought anything of it. And FWIW, we're all liberal Democrats.

[bicentennial_baby]

23. Four words....

Mind. Your. Own. Business.

That's all :)

who are you to judge, eh?

do you know them, or anything about them? No. So therefore....myob.

[Richardo]

31. .

:patriot: :applause:

[bicentennial_baby]

39. Thank You

:)

[Katina]

40. spot on

well said. :applause:

[bicentennial_baby]

42. thanks

:hi:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

77. Excellent

But I have the folk Brazilian saying so I win. :thumbsup:

[bicentennial_baby]

86. Yes, i'll give you that

:D

:pals:

[Richardo]

26. Many times my wife will decide what she wants then asks me to order it....

...what's the big deal?

A rule I learned a long time ago: Never assume you know what is going on inside other peoples' relationships. You don't.

There are plenty of explanations for their behavior, but even if it's what you thought it was, what business is it of anyone except the couple in question. To be mortally offended by it diminished YOUR evening, not theirs.

[Courtesy Flush]

27. Well said

The OP drew an awful lot of conclusions based on streotypes. There's no telling who those people are, or what their political leanings are. They might come from a community where it's considered proper manners for the man to order for his wife, or maybe she has phobias about interacting with strangers (I know a liberal who is very withdrawn, and has a very outgoing conservative husband).

You really don't know anything about these people.

[Katina]

28. I have to agree with you on this one.

Why anyone would be put out because a male orders the dinner for his female companion is beyond me. If it was a case where her wishes were being countermanded and she was being told what she could or couldn't have, you might have a case. However, you don't know if the woman had told her companion what she wanted and that she expected him to order. That's a societal behavior that they both may be more comfortable with and something that is not out of the ordinary. You also don't know if she had laryngitis or something, or a number of other things going on. Bottom line is, why would you care, and why would you let it upset your evening? That's just kind of silly.

[Richardo]

32. You don't *usually* agree with me?

:cry:







:)

[Katina]

33. LOL!

I agree only when I'm doing a Stepford wife imitation! :silly:

[Zomby Woof]

34. I was there

And you weren't. Now who's reaching conclusions without merit?

I trust my instincts and my reasoning. If I want to rant about moronic public misogyny and control freak spouses, I will, and I don't rightly give a shit if some of you feel it is none of my business. I made it my business. Some people exhibit questionable behavior in public and I will call them on it. And like everyone else on DU, I posted my impressions of something I personally witnessed. These people were repulsive for reasons that went beyond the exchange I conveyed in the OP. My opinion of them is more informed, quite simply because I was there.

Bottom line: An adult should order their own damn meal. I reserve the right to judge other adults for not having enough sense of self to do otherwise.

[Katina]

35. wait a second

you told a story here for people to respond to. You said nothing about "calling people" on their questionable public behavior. Did you actually say something to this couple, like "why don't you order your own food?" That would be calling people out. Coming here and ranting over someone else's public behavior is not.
Seriously, I think you are over-reacting just a bit.

[Richardo]

38. Pretty intense rant for someone who says he don't give a shit

:shrug:

I'm only reacting to your description of events - it's all I have to go on.

Based on that description, I think you were out of line. And sadly, you allowed someone else's non-intrusive ('questionable'?) behavior to ruin your enjoyment of what I'm sure was an otherwise pleasant evening with your bride.

Last thought: 'I trust my intincts and reasoning' sounds depressingly like a certain occupant of the White House whenever someone questions his judgement.

[nini]

64. "your bride"?

*snort*


hmmmmmmmm


I am NOT anyone's property. Perhaps this freudian slip says a bit about your attitudes towards women?

[buddhamama]

66. the broad brush

has more than likely been used by every single poster on this thread at one point or another.

we are a community of (mostly) Democrats. we speak in generalities often regarding the motives, intellect, etc., of Republicans, Christians, whomever we have deemed the "enemy". if you can claim to never ever have painted with a broad brush, then this does not pertain to you, obviously. for the rest, a tad hypocritical, me thinks.

[Richardo]

71. Yes. I'm a well-known freeper troll. Ask anyone.

"Your bride" is not a freudian slip, however.

I intentionally used a possessive adjective because it's a generally accepted part of speech in English, and it's a bit cumbersome to say: 'the womyn to whom you are legally conjoined' or whatever PC phrase I'd have to use to be considered a truly enlyghtened non-womyn person. (Or is that perdaughter?)

I'll eschew the use of possessive (!!!!) pronouns and adjectives for now on. Really.

[bicentennial_baby]

72. ....

:spray:

:rofl:

[Richardo]

74. .

:D

[nini]

118. shoulda just said 'little woman'

same difference to many women.

[jpgray]

81. Hmm. Feel the same way about "your father" or "your mother?"

Sometimes a possessive pronoun is just a possessive pronoun.

[Richardo]

84. .

:applause: + :rofl:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

87. Too bad Cuban possessive pronouns are banned in the US.

Mio. Suyo. Vuestro. Nuestro.

I can say it and you can't. Nyah nyah nyah.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

43. "I reserve the right to judge other adults"

Eh. And it looks like the husband reserved the right to judge what the wife was going to eat.

:shrug:

[Joe Fields]

91. Damn. you're quick on that judgement trigger.

Isn't that what freepers do?

[LynneSin]

29. HEY!!!! Not all us pasty white folks are repukes

Some of us are very liberal minded

Sincerely
LynneSin
President of PPWF (Progressive Pasty White Folks)

[Debi]

82. OOoohhh

Another clique to join :bounce:

[LynneSin]

95. I got all sorts of cliques

but to join this one you must be pasty white and have difficulty with tanning. Freckles a must!

Geez, now I sound like I'm recruiting for the clan :crazy:

Ok, let's try this again - this clique is for pasty white progressives and anyone out there regardless of tanning ability who supports our cause!

[Debi]

98. I have not been out in the sun all summer

I am officially pasty and white :bounce:

[NewJeffCT]

30. Why does ordering for his wife make him a Republican?

Maybe English is not her first language, so she is not comfortable pronouncing the name of the Italian dish she wants to order? I know, I've done that for my wife a few times.

And, my wife will always order for both of us if we go out to a Chinese restaurant. Heck, she'll order for everybody if we go out with my whole family.

[nini]

37. She was able to carry on a conversation in English with him

It was the whole package that gave us the impression of the type of people they are. She was submissive. He was a control freak. The look, the demeanor, the attitude was not a liberal type person.

The tone and inflection of his voice said plenty about their relationship.

[Joe Fields]

94. OMG! Not a liberal type? Get a fucking rope!

They don't deserve to live or breathe in my judgemental world!

[Richardo]

105. .

:spray:

[nini]

121. Did I say that?

who's being judgmental now?

[Joe Fields]

127. -You might as well have said it. Your contempt for them wasn't

even thinly veiled.

"pasty-white, had-to-be-a-republican husband..."

"was she mute?"

"...hair, twice as big as Katherine Harris'"

"...frat boy husband.."

"...about puked my cannoli."

"...must've come down from Palos Verdes to slum with the regular folk."

What's a guy supposed to think?

You know, when you judge people before you get a chance to know them, you do a disservice to them and yourselves.

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. The older rules of etiquette are for the man to order for the woman

Meaning, not to choose the food for the lady, but to tell the waiter what the lady would like.

It's a little "old school" nowadays, but still, there's nothing inherentl,y wrong with it.

However, given her big hair and her demure manner, it's a good bet they are freepazoids, or at least fundy asshole Christians who believe strongly in the "Biblically Mandated" separate roles for men and women (which aren't mandated at all by the Bible, but they seem to think they are).

[Zomby Woof]

45. That is the vibe we got

It went beyond outdated mores and into the realm of 'subservient wife/object'. One good thing, was that they had no screaming kids. ;-)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

41. Willingly subservient women drive me UP. THE. FUCKING. WALL.

:puke:

[Richardo]

44. Why?

:shrug:

The operative word is 'willingly'. 'Pro-choice': it's not just for abortions anymore

[WritingIsMyReligion]

46. Women who choose to be Stepford Wives.

It irks me, makes me feel unclean, makes me feel like my gender still ENJOYS being oppressed. There isn't a damned thing I can do about a woman who likes subservience, and there isn't much I WOULD do (free choice, and all that), but I can't help feeling sick.

[Richardo]

47. I understand the 1st 2 reactions, but why generalize to the entire gender?

I don't get that - YOU know it doesn't apply to every woman.

[Midlodemocrat]

48. That's a pretty broad brush.

Women get to choose anything they want. That's the whole part of feminism.

Dissing people based on your likes and dislikes isn't progressive, it's regressive.

[bicentennial_baby]

49. w00t!

Well put! :bounce:

:hi:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

50. I'm quite aware of what feminism is.

Especially considering that I define myself as a feminist.

For me personally, I cannot stand female subservience. I'm not out to tell other people what they should do in their marriage, however. I may intensely dislike the idea of being subservient to another, but I allow others to be subservient despite my dislike. I'm not being patronizing, not trying to say that I consider myself holy and generous enough to "allow" other people to hold beliefs that differ from mine, and so you should worship me.

All I'm saying is that I don't like female subservience.

[Zomby Woof]

52. Yes

And to read the replies which accuse you or me of "broad brush" tactics, perhaps they need to point that blunt instrument in their own direction.

It isn't like I confronted those people in the restaurant. But you'd think I did to read some of these ridiculous assertions. :D

[WritingIsMyReligion]

53. Why, don't you love to broad-brush people?

:eyes:

:D

[Zomby Woof]

56. I prefer medium brushes

;-)

Judging is a virtue - imagine a world where anything and everything goes, and we didn't hold anyone accountable for their actions. But enough about the White House...

If I witnessed that the man HIT his wife, would ANYONE be after my ass about "judging"? Hell no! They would be asking me if they could hold the rope while they gather the mob, lol. I don't think what he did was THAT drastic, but it was still repulsive enough to elicit negative reactions from Nini and me without second thought. You had to have HEARD the way the man said it. I had to hold my napkin up to my mouth, lol.

[Joe Fields]

99. When you make broad generalities, bathed in loathesome remarks,

then don't be surprised when people accuse you of painting people, by using broad brush strokes, because really, that IS what you are doing.

And all this talk of Zombie love...Guess it's just reserved for the "chosen few" who you think think like you?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

111. That's really kind of an unfair assessment

And all this talk of Zombie love...Guess it's just reserved for the "chosen few" who you think think like you?

I've been to dinner with both of them several times and not witnessed either of them to be catty or nasty about others around us. In fact, we've had great conversations with others around us.

Hell - one time when we were out, it took me so long to decide, I'm surprised Zomby didn't order FOR me :D

I think the thing to do would have been to inquire as to HOW he reached the conclusion - otherwise, all you demonstrated with this post is that he isn't the only person on this thread drawn to conclusions .

[Joe Fields]

132. Hey, I'm not the one who made all of the contemptable remarks

about a couple of strangers I know absolutely nothing about. Zombiewoof made those remarks. And if I hit below the belt a little bit, I apologize. But, I did feel it was a reasonable assumption. I will try to reign my tongue in a little bit, though.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

134. I think you did exactly what you accused him of doing

Again...wasn't a little inquiry justified prior to the smack in the nuggets?

[Zomby Woof]

113. What's broader?

All of you who judge me with a broad brush when you have never met me? About a situation you didn't witness?

Or me judging someone I had comprehensive and sound reasons for basing my conclusions upon, due to direct interaction?

As for ZombyLove, I reserve that for the chosen few, yes. But they don't have to think like me. They only have to think.

[hfojvt]

126. "I thought in my head, I think, of something to do

expressions tell everything. I see one on you..."

I cannot remember where that is from. I think it is The Hooters.

"All you Zombies hide your faces." :evilgrin:

Let's see what we have

Judgement based on skin color - check
Intolerance of people who live and/or think differently - check
Condemnation rather than sympathy - check

Just going by the tone. It doesn't smell like teen spirit. Not a judgement of you, per se, only of your OP.

[Zomby Woof]

51. That's a stretch

I dislike (no, I hate, actually) Bush, his politics, everything he stands for. I "dis" him all the time. DU exists based largely on all of us needing a venue to channel our collective disgust/dislike/hate (choose whichever applies to you best) with Bush and his regime.

So if it's fucking regressive for me to "dis" the restaurant couple, because they summon a similar level of discomfort, so be it. At least I am consistent and honest. I will continue to "dis" people who disgust me. That's not regressive, that's human.

[Midlodemocrat]

60. Not the same thing at all.

You are entitled to be repelled by what you saw. You were there. You witnessed it. But, the comment about subservient women is a pretty broad brush and makes us look just as bad as the other side when they comment about Femi-Nazis.

Saying an entire type of person makes you sick is not progressive at all. It is judging based on one particular aspect of their behavior or persona.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

61. Besides, they could have been out for a night of role playing :)

[Midlodemocrat]

62. Hey, you! How ya' doing?

Everytime I see you lately, your posts are hours old, so I know you're not online.

How've things been?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

63. Mostly good :)

how's hubby doing? Is he really ready to go back to work?

[Midlodemocrat]

101. Yup. Just got back from the cardiologist as a matter of fact.

I have to fax the authorization to return to work this afternoon. He's looking forward to getting his life back on track. As am I.

[Joe Fields]

96. Yup, yup!

[Rabrrrrrr]

67. Jesus, what happened here? I'm with you - and I see no broadbrushing.

:wtf:

How can any think you are dissing all women just because you don't like it when some women are willingly subservient. Never did you imply or say outright that all women are subservient.

:wtf:

I think a few posters need some better coffee for their morning excursions into the realm of printed communication.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

78. Wow...Rabrrrrrr agrees with me.

:D :P

Thank you.

:hi:

[Rabrrrrrr]

80. I've agreed with you many times!

:hi:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

54. This is why you should always eat at the Olive Garden :)

[Zomby Woof]

57. We almost did!

But their line was too long, so we hopped across the street. :D

[Spaceman Spiff]

55. As the great Eric Cartman would say

"Hey! Get yer bitch-ass in the kitchen and bake me a pie!!"

[Zomby Woof]

59. LMAO

:thumbsup:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

58. In Brazil we call this "looking for horns on a horse's head."

Big copulating deal. :boring:

[ScreamingMeemie]

65. It depends upon the situation. MrG has ordered for me twice...

but it was a heat of the moment, role playing thing... If you catch my drift. ;)

Your description of it makes me very sad for that woman. Growing up, we had a next door neighbor couple like that. She wasn't allowed to speak to us when he was around...he did the talking. :hi:

[Zomby Woof]

68. Role playing is great

It's healthy, an outlet for fun and creativity that enriches a relationship. If this was role-playing I witnessed, it was joyless and grey. I would have posted a quite different thread, to be sure.

There were snippets of (mostly one-sided) conversation we inadvertently picked up that pretty much proved my impressions were accurate, unlike the impressions of people who weren't actually there.

:hi: MrsAppraiserPro! :D

[ScreamingMeemie]

70. We hardly made it through dinner!!!

:blush:

We were at a snazzy hotel and were goofing off. and I'm sure it showed.

I have known people (the one above) whose husbands have micromanaged every aspect of their life down to clothing choices. MrG gives me feedback as in, "Would you quit with the damned sweatpants?" but would never cross the line.

[buddhamama]

69. the broad brush

has more than likely been used by every single poster on this thread at one point or another.

we are a community of (mostly) Democrats. we speak in generalities often regarding the motives, intellect, etc., of Republicans, Christians, whomever we have deemed the "enemy". if you can claim to never ever have painted with a broad brush, then this does not pertain to you, obviously. for the rest, a tad hypocritical, me thinks.

[In_The_Wind]

73. Oops! I enjoy having my date order for me.

Of course I pick out exactly what I want.
Sometimes I can't understand what is being said when the waiter/waitress repeats my order so with my severe hearing loss I really do appreciate the help.

[Zomby Woof]

75. EVERY situation is unique

My observations from last night only apply to what I witnessed. This guy's TONE and the way he spoke to her in other contexts added up. If there was an apparent disability or other mitigating factor, this thread would not exist (or be vastly different at that). :hi:

[In_The_Wind]

83. I'm just nitpicking! That's something a sub would never do.

unless they like getting spanked :evilgrin:



:loveya:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

76. Hell...I used to order for my dad because he was blind

and suffered from memory loss and couldn't tell you what he had for breakfast, let alone the menu items I had just read for him.

As far as the OP, we're missing a lot. There are many nuances one can observe that would lead to the conclusions he reached. Or maybe he's way off base. Who knows :shrug:

[Zomby Woof]

79. If I am off base

It is because I drank the house wine. :D

[In_The_Wind]

85. It's fun to be a people watcher!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

100. Sure...and we all people watch and we all form judgments

I think if one KNOWS they are forming a judgment it's useful. And I really question those that believe they don't judge. I doubt it is possible to have a human brain and not judge.
The difference being if one is cognizant of it when they are doing it or only when they perceive others to be doing it. :shrug:

[buddhamama]

103. i am an excellent people watcher

i'll observe things about people, their dress, their mannerisms that most others would miss.

i judge, of course i do. and i know it. the question then becomes, is my mind open or closed to perhaps perceiving them differently.


if i see someone sporting a Bush sticker on their car or something, my mind instantly begins to assume things about that person. i think some in this thread are being a tad hypocritical.

[Zomby Woof]

107. I keep this in mind

I could be wrong about the couple. I may be wrong about the couple. But I did not hastily or casually reach my conclusion. And the fact that the two of us reached it almost simultaneously adds a bit more heft to the scene.

I usually ignore others in public, but this was hard to do.

[buddhamama]

108. how does the saying go

it's not what you say but how you say- tone and demeanor are everything.

i know you ZW, and i do not doubt this was not a conclusion readily reached. :hug:

[Zomby Woof]

110. All that and non-verbal language

Non-verbal is the real key besides the tone.

I am quite sure if he was just being politely "old school", or she was handicapped, I wouldn't have noted nor reacted the same way.

It was such an involuntary revulsion.

:hug:

[gmoney]

88. Hearing loss is one situation I imagined...

If they were older, or from certain background, it's more of an "old school" courtesy for the man to order in a restaurant. The hearing loss possibility was second thing to cross my mind. Perhaps she was hard of hearing or deaf.

The judgmental nature of the original post, though, is the kind of over-reaction that gives "political correctness" a bad name. I'd suggest choosing your battles a bit more selectively... I would be more outraged by the "house wine" revelation myself.

And referring to a woman as "his wife" does not necessarily connote "ownership" but merely relationship. I doubt a reference to "her husband" would prompt the same reaction. Or are you saying I can no longer refer to "my sister" because it implies that she is not an independent emancipated individual? LOL...

As for the dirty looks they gave you as you left, perhaps it was due to you staring at them throughout their meal with judgment in your eyes and a snarl of contempt for what you imagined they are.

Gotta agree with Bi_Baby on this one...

[bicentennial_baby]

89. Well aren't you a sweetheart?

:loveya:

:)

[gmoney]

90. Well, yes, now that you mention it.

Haven't crossed paths in a long time. Hope you're doing great! Did I see that you got new ink?

The invitation to sunbathe in my backyard is still open, by the way...

[bicentennial_baby]

92. I know!

Howdy stranger! :hi:

I'm quite well, thank you. and I hope that you are as well :)

Yes, if you're referring to the one on my upper arm, the pinup girl "Daddy's Girl"

I love it :)

and thank you, you just never know...one of these days... :evilgrin:

[Joe Fields]

93. Sometimes my wife orders for me, and vice-versa. Doesn't really

mean a thing.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

97. OK so I have a question since you were there and I wasn't

What were the other things that left you with this impression? Certainly it could not have been solely because he ordered for her, could it? :shrug: That would be totally conclusionary.

Were there other things that occured?
Did he talk DOWN to her at other times?

Could you hear?

[Zomby Woof]

104. Tone, body language, and his dominance, pre and post-ordering

His manner and hers... this was definitely a comprehensive observation. The ordering was the climax which capped it off.

They were across the aisle, behind me, but in clear view of Nini. Not even 10 feet away.

I can tell you this - and you have eaten with me in public several times - I don't easily get visceral reactions like this one to other diners. I normally do not pay attention to other diners. But Nini's quiet "oh my god!" was followed immediately by me saying "I heard that!", with my eyes bulging and disbelief on my face - and I put my napkin up to my mouth to non-verbally express my disgust.

If you could just HEAR how he did it, and the whole interaction/body language thing... you would probably see how we reached this conclusion, whether you would have ultimately agreed or not. But clearly, this was NOT a rash judgment.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

106. I'm just surprised all the open minded people on this thread

weren't open minded enough to ask this sooner. And yeah, I've now dined with both of you at least 4 or 5 times and not noted either of you to be catty nor pithy about other people around us.

Hell, we had a great conversation with the British "Margaret Thatcher lovers" a couple of weeks ago and didn't walk away saying "What freepers!" They were a lovely couple. :shrug:

[Zomby Woof]

109. Exactly!

I don't want to know what others are talking about if it's private. I didn't mean to overhear what was said - and neither did Nini.

And I am sure with my loud voice, I make lots of eyes roll and heads turn, lol.

Yes, the British couple was very nice and gracious. Clearly not subject to the polarized discourse of contemporary Americans.

[nini]

131. Hey,, admit it.. we're fucking assholes to everyone we meet!

We laugh at the handicapped, rude to our waitresses, trip old ladies and their walkers, etc.. :evilgrin:

It's just an excuse for folks to jump down the throats of people they don't like. Very few people here are actually discussing the real issue - which is typical these days.

It's DU at it's finest!!! :P

[Zomby Woof]

102. If I saw this happen in public

I would make it my business. Wouldn't you?

And truly, since it didn't happen quite to that extent, and I didn't intervene, how is posting about it on DU really an intrusion? :eyes:

It wasn't love, or YOUR situation I saw last night. It was about control.

But hey, continue to think I was judging YOUR unique situations, or assuming you know what I saw and heard when you weren't actually there. ;-)

[Richardo]

112. ...you'd be witnessing a crime.

Look, if you really had to be enraged at the behavior of two strangers you'll never see again, that's your call, I guess.

It's just it seems to be a lot of power to hand over to someone to allow them to manipulate your emotions like that.

[Zomby Woof]

114. I wasn't enraged

Disgusted, yes. Not enraged.

So much projection in this thread, it nearly boggles my mind, but then I remember where I am.

[Richardo]

115. This isn't enraged?

Fuck that shit. I about puked my cannoli, and Nini, not one to suffer subservient women at any cost, did all she could to contain herself. Then as we were leaving, they looked at us as if WE were the mutants.

They must have come down from Palos Verdes to slum with the regular folk.

Fuck rich people's pretension and fuck misogynist Republicans and their willingly diminutive "little ladies".

You're calibrated to a different scale than I am, my brutha.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

117. Maybe it's just hyperbole

:shrug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

116. He had a reaction to something he saw and communicated it

Maybe poorly, but so what?

I'll give you an example. A few years back I had DJ'd for a well to do couple in the hills of Orange County. Their house was hard wired and they had problems with the speakers. The wife called me later and asked if I could check out their home system and see if I could fix it. I agreed to take a look and went there.

When I got there, they were both home. Every time I addressed her, he answered. When I addressed him, if she said anything, he would correct her about the most insignificant bullshit.

I replaced the RCA cables that had been mangled behind their main amp and left.

A few years later, I ran into the woman at a local restaurant and she was with another man.

It turned out the one I had the bad impression of used her as a punching bag for many years.

Sometimes you can draw conclusions from observations. The thought that he MAY HAVE BEEN an abuser crossed my mind, but at the time, I certainly didn't inquire.

When I saw her again, I was a bit upset that I never did anything.

[nini]

119. This whole thread is fucking hysterical

Half the responses are just a chance to disagree with someone for the hell of it.

The others are trying to judge a situation they did not see and experience.

Typical DU flamefest... :eyes:










:loveya:

[Debi]

120. NO ITS NOT

:evilgrin:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

123. IS TOO!

Best Monty Python

"I came here for an argument!"

"No you didn't"

[Debi]

124. Damn

I didn't watch much Python so I'm always at a loss with the references.

:cry:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

130. Here ya go..one of the best comedy skits ever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMlv3ripSM

[Debi]

133. Great!

:thumbsup:

Thanks!

[Midlodemocrat]

122. You shouldn't feel upset. How could you have known?

We all get these 'feelings' about situations, much like the ones ZW and nini are describing, but in the situation where you think abuse is an issue; that's a totally different area.

I have a neighbor that I suspect is a punching bag, simply based on her complete deferrence to him :eyes:, but I don't have any evidence, so I'm reluctant to say anything.

The first time I see a bruise or a scrape or anything untowards, however, I am calling my big ass friend Tommy the cop. He eats guys like that for breakfast.

We had an incident similar to what you are describing here involving children. I had that 'feeling' that we all get, and turns out the older brother was having sex with the 8yo sister.

I never let my 6yo near their house. My gut was spot on. :puke:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

125. See and I have the benefit of having been in restaurants

with both Zomby and Nini. Again, I think he communicated poorly and with some hyperbole in the OP and left out details that might have given clues to his reasoning.

I have no issue with people taking him to task on that but I really doubt he just automatically jumped to conclusions about the guy.

As I said up thread - a few weeks ago we all dined in a pub in San Pedro next to a British couple who , while amused with the Bushco and repulsed by it, and not liking of Blair indicated they felt THatcher was a strong leader. None of us drew any ill conclusions about them based on simply a conversation.

[Midlodemocrat]

128. I have no doubt either.

My issue was with another poster and what I perceived to be a broad brush.

[Name removed]

135. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Avalux]

136. Locking