*Deep breath* Ok, I need your advice! Ok - help then. I need your help.

[Random_Australian]

Uh, by the way, this is happening to a friend, not me.

Hypothetically.

In a dream.

Anyway, in this friend's hypothetical dream, he had met, and got along well with, a great girl. Freaking awesomely well - they clicked and he had intended to take things further than friends, if he could.

However, various conspiracies of fate means that in this friend's hypothetical dream, there is very little chance that he will see her again in the next quite some time, if ever.

Note: The feelings discussed here are not raunchy or sexual, just attraction and that other word that comes after attraction if you decide you really like them, and they appear to like you. I'm not going to say it.

Now we get to the complex bit:
1) The friend in question still has feelings for her.
2) The friend in question has a bit of an....... 'ability' gained from working through certain events, to purge their mind of those feelings.
3) The friend would like to be dragged back OR down or stopped from looking for other potential companions because of this - these emotions are getting in the way.

This ability is concerned with stopping the mind from accessing memories (the memories in question would only be those concerned with creating the various feelings - not the factual content or looks or name of the person).

This means that three choices can be made, each with their own drawbacks:

A) Suppress the memories - force oneself not to remember them.
Pros - easy to do, easy to undo. Safe too - any adverse affects can be removed in little more effort than it takes to recall the memories.
Cons - easy for it to manifest subconsciously, really just covering up the situation

B) Repress the memories - Like what people do with traumatic things, a much more thorough version of the first way.
Pros - easy to mantain, it takes no conscious effort. Less likely to manifest in subconscious actions. Quite safe as well - though a little more difficult to handle, nothing permanently bad can happen.
Cons - May get me to remember things that I do NOT want to remember (only temporarily), may still get subconscious things happening, but not as much as A.


C) Delete.
Pros - very complete. No further effort is required after the initial, which is substantial.
Cons - I also know this by the name 'force unreality' ... as that is pretty much the process. Making the mind process the memories in a way that garbles the information, effectively removing it. The BIG downside of this is maintaining one's grip on reality during this - it takes a while and carries a small chance of severe negative effects - but I can handle it given time.

D) Don't do anything! Leave my emotions as they are!

Edited for clarity.
Edited for clarity.(2)
Edited for clarity.(3)
Edited for clarity.(4)
Edited for clarity.(5)

Alright, no answers. I admit it - help, not advice. I do not want to make the wrong decision, and for the first time in some years I don't really know what to do. I can't believe how long it has been with everything laid out so cleanly, and how long I have needed no-one but myself.

Asking others is just so alien to me.

I can hardly believe that this is me saying this - the first few editions were even under a pseudoname.

Edited for clarity.(6)
Edited for clarity.(7)

[Random_Australian]

1. I kick and choose delete. That is my default - I am a thorough person.

[Random_Australian]

2. Yes, I did sort through and rewrite the fucking thing five times.

And yes, I do reply to as many requests for advice as I can.

Fuck.

Edit: and once more, just to cease my growing paranoia that no-one is reading it.

[rug]

3. You must take a cold shower and wear barbed gloves.

[Random_Australian]

4. That sounded a lot like "Fuck you".

After all - obviously this thread means nothing to me, it is very obvious that I have not given any details of my life and thus am not feeling exposed or vulnerable in any way.


Well, at least you kicked it!

Edited to remove naughty words. ;)

[mdmc]

13. tell your bro to suck it up, man! Better to love and lost and all...

As far as real advice - I would tell him to follow his bliss. If he can get over this and move on, do whatever it takes to do it. Cherish the memories.

[Random_Australian]

15. Contradiction in terms!

Wait - logically you are implying that my friend should do nothing, and by some process the emotions will themselves change?

Do they DO that?

Otherwise "whatever it takes" implies deletion. My default position.

Lastly, 'following bliss' - no option implies bliss, infortunately.

[mdmc]

33. don't delete

just extract the good. use the good feelings as a path to future happiness.

[MissHoneychurch]

5. May I ask

is this about the girl you met last semester?

[Random_Australian]

6. Yup, sure is!

[MissHoneychurch]

7. Have you really done everything?

Don't you know someone who knows her as well so that you can get a message to her??

:hug:

[Random_Australian]

8. Everything.

Well, there it is technically possible that there may be some opportunity - but careful, I have a literal enough mind to say "there is some chance that the sun will turn into an orange".

But not really, there is nothing further I can do.

[MissHoneychurch]

10. I just thought of something else

can you give the teacher of the classes a letter for her?

[Random_Australian]

12. MissHoney!

No! I can't.

Aaaaagh! I have thought of this! And many, many more ways!

She no longer appears to be enrolled at this university.

[MissHoneychurch]

14. I am so sorry R_A

I really wish that you will meet her again. You know that :hug:

In case you won't see her again, my best advice is go out, have fun. Meet with other people. Men and women. Keep yourself distracted. The less you think of her, the faster you will be able to go over the feelings for her. You know that is the only thing you can do. You are still young, there are a lot of young women out there that are worth your feelings. Go out and find them.

[Random_Australian]

18. Ok, you would suggest the "don't actively remove" option?

I didn't know they went away like that.

But then I never have been in the know about these things.

[MissHoneychurch]

20. If you don't see a person anymore

yes, the feelings go away sooner or later. It will be only a sweet memory later on, one you enjoy to remember, but the feeling will be gone. Like buddhamama said, in case you will meet her again and are still single, you can refresh your feelings. But as you say yourself, you don't know if that will ever happen, please don't hide at home and feel sorrow for yourself.

[Random_Australian]

22. I won't - my main question was on how to remove those feelings.

This appears to have been inadequately explained.

[MissHoneychurch]

24. Don't force yourself

even though that works too (I had to deal with it often enough myself but for other reasons). Let time pass, your feelings will go less and less. Promised.

[Random_Australian]

27. Done. I am working out an unsuppressed fade algorithm as I type.

Will be implemented tomorrow.

[MissHoneychurch]

28. Good for you R_A

:hug:

You will pull through this and come out stronger.

[Random_Australian]

30. Ugh, you caught us when we are not one person.

The social part says "Thanks Miss Honey, and a hug right backatcha! :hug:"

The philosophical part says "I will - other things have cost me much more than this ever could. The outcome has a strong associated probability."

The logical part says "As strong - the change in feelngs as distinct from the will, as measured from historical large changes in either against similar temporal maps of the other."

Wow, we are embarassed to be talking as three. Damn. (Logical interjects that he has no emotions).

Anyway, protocol is that social contact is removed upon external observation of splitting. (Says logical)

Vote counted 2-1 in favour of protocol. Social contact breaking.

From social: See you Miss Honey! I gotta go now, but have a nice day! :hug: thanks for the advice! :hug: :hi:

[buddhamama]

9. why would (maybe) you never see her again?

[Random_Australian]

11. I said conspiracies of fate.

This means that the only place where I would see her no longer happens.

Please do not attempt to tell me I have some way of meeting her - I have had many threads about this over time. I have tried many, many ways to find her.

Basically, the probability distribution means that I find it sufficient cause to terminate these emotions.

However, that is the logical part of me.

The same reason that I can muck around with what I can remember also means that I must listen to three basic things, one is logical and mathematical, the second philosophical, the third social.

The latter two both feel emotion and are rather reticent about letting it go.

Which is illogical, but the logical part of me is out-voted.

However, the logical part is more sure than the other two - thus the demands are about equal, which results in indecision.

I can get the social to either re-enforce its support, or remove it, with ease with this thread.

That would resolve the indecision.

[buddhamama]

16. i understand you're wrestling with a decision

one that obviously involves strong emotions, but there is no reason to be abrasive. I have been off the boards for a while and do not know the details/history.


my advise: let it go, for now. if fate intervened once it may do so again to bring you two back in touch.

[MissHoneychurch]

17. I like your advice

:thumbsup:

[Random_Australian]

19. My apologies for abrasive words - I hope for your forgiveness.

The thing about me is that I don't really feel emotions much, so it was not strong emotions.

The letting go part does not involve directly removing, yes? Just letting them fade?

[buddhamama]

25. yes, just let them fade

and with time they will. unless of course, fate does intervene in your favor.

[Random_Australian]

26. Done.

Makes sense.

I'm working what I need to do in order for an unsuppressed fade to happen as we speak.

[buddhamama]

29. at the risk of looking/feeling like a fool...

:hug: Random_Australian. Peace.

[Random_Australian]

31. Risk minimal.

We are three people right now.

(Do not be concerned - that always happens when I change how I am going to think).

However, as from our reply to Miss Honey we are to log off.

Social says "Hug backatcha! You've been great! :hug:"

Goodbye for now.

[deucemagnet]

21. We are the sum of our experiences, so I say just own it,

deal with it, and be a better person for it in the end. If you insist on subverting your memories in some way, then I'd say option A. Just my opinion, tho.

[Random_Australian]

23. Thank you for your opinion.

And your other words.

[ashling]

32. What the HELL are you talking about ? !

????????????????????

[datasuspect]

34. i was thinking what you said

yikes

[wildhorses]

35. DO NOT DELETE*I REPEAT*DO NOT DELETE!!

that would be to delete your very soul, the thing that makes you hauman. The very humanness that makes you attractive...that makes you uniquely you!! It is your story written with your tears. Your sadness that flows down the river of life. Do not take away one subtle color out of the crayon box of LIFE!!
:hug:

[Random_Australian]

37. I won't, but for the record, I can make the emotions again.

Why do I know I can?

I had to the first time I lost them. :(

I am human.
I am alive.

[Mutley]

36. Do nothing.

Losing someone you care about is hard, but allowing your mind to work through that hurt in a natural manner is probably the most healthy thing you can do. Besides, there May come a time when you will see her again.

[xchrom]

38. feelings that are unresolved rarely just go away.

no matter how we might try to banish them.

there are probably questions and issues here for you beyond the ability or inability to find her{i.e. can you use a people search to find her? phone book in her home town?

i found my first lover of many years ago and got in touch with him to say hi -- just as an example -- he's in adelaide by the way}.

when it comes to romantic relationships -- i rarely find that we act on these things accidentally -- we pick that person very carefully and on purpose -- but often unaware of our motivations.