(insert really angry, frustrated primal scream HERE)

[Shakespeare]

So, I'm on unemployment; just temporarily, one hopes. Now, that sucks enough all on its own, but the state of California has SO screwed up my checks that I haven't gotten paid for a MONTH. First, they delayed my payments because I moved. Finally, after that gets fixed, they allegedly mail me a check 10 days ago. Check never arrives. OTHER correspondence they sent three days ago arrived in my mailbox today, no problem.

So my ENTIRE FREAKING DAY has been spent on the phone, multiple calls, to people who are either so stupid as to be sub-human, or slimily condescending at a moment when that is the absolute LAST thing I have the patience to endure.

Me: "My check didn't arrive today, and today is the first day I can request an affidavit to get a replacement check."

Them: "No, that's 10 business days."

Me: "No, it's 10 CALENDAR days, which I confirmed earlier this week."

Them: "Oh. Well, we have to mail you a form."

Me: "Yes, I'm fully aware of that. However, I have not had one penny from you in OVER A MONTH, so I would greatly appreciate it if we could somehow expedite the process."

What follows is an overly long conversation regarding faxing documents, etc. They finally agree to fax me the affidavit, and have me send that plus the claim form for the check I'm currently due (but which hasn't been cut yet due to the first one being lost), and they'll process at least one of them today so some form of money will reach my mailbox by the end of next week.

Fine, the flurry of paper begins as I prepare all the documents and fax covers to send back. Naturally, the fax doesn't go through. Now I'm off on another series of calls (and keep in mind, when they're busy, their recording puts you on hold for awhile, and then just CUTS YOU OFF, and you have to start all over again--I go through this too many times to count).

Me: (after interminable hold): "Hi, the fax number you gave me so I could send back my claim form doesn't work; the fax won't go through."

Them: "Can you please tell me the whole story again?"

Oh, joy. Ultimately:

Them: "Oh, that fax number is incorrect (well, no SHIT). That's an invalid area code. We have a new area code (think you coulda UPDATED YOUR FUCKING FORMS???)."

So, I get new area code, and finally fax all the documents. I wait 30 minutes, then call back to confirm receipt. This leads to an HOUR of attempted phone calls (that whole arbitrarily being cut off thing), including two calls where I actually get through, have to retell the entire situation again, and then get transferred to another government office that has no affiliation whatsoever with California unemployment office. TWICE.

Finally, I get through one more time (after several more attempts), and get Mr. Condescending. What Mr. Condescending doesn't understand is that condescension is the ABSOLUTE LAST THING I am capable of tolerating after spending my ENTIRE FUCKING DAY on the phone with his incompetent coworkers.

By this time, I know the drill and start rattling off name, SSN, date of birth, etc. ad infinitum, in the required order but without being asked, which seems to piss him off. He doesn't get to do his usual spiel, I suppose.

Mr. Condescending: "Ma'am, we can't process the replacement check until we get the original of your affidavit."

Me: "Yes, I'm aware of that. However, that's not what I asked you. I asked you if 1. you received my faxes at all, and 2. if my CURRENT check is now being processed, as per my conversation with Carl."

Mr. Condescending: "Carl isn't in this office."

Me: "I'm sure he isn't, but are you or are you not looking at his notes on your computer?"

Mr. Condescending: "Yes, and I see Carl's notes from 12:39 this afternoon."

Me: "Okay, then. Can you please tell me if you received the fax, and if my current check--not the one that got lost--is being processed?"

Mr. Condescending: "Well, as you know, it takes 3-4 days for the check to reach you."

Me: "That's not what I ASKED. I just want to know if you received my fax, and if my current check is now in process."

Mr. Condescending: "Well, your replacement check cannot be processed until we receive the affidavit with you original signature."

Me: "Yes, I'm fully aware of that. However, that is ALSO not what I asked. IS MY CURRENT CHECK IN PROCESS OR NOT?"

Mr. Condescending: "Yes, but it will take 3-4 days for the check to reach you."

Me: "YES I KNOW THAT WE'VE BEEN OVER THAT FIVE MILLION TIMES THE ONLY THING I ASKED YOU IS IS IT IN PROCESS YET!"

Mr. Condescending: "Ma'am, I'm just doing my job."

Me: "Not very well, you're not."

Mr. Condescending: "Ma'am, it takes a certain amount of time to process these things.

Me: "THAT'S NOT WHAT I ASKED YOU. I'm well aware of the 'process,' because the 'process' has been recited to me approximately 793 times."

Mr. Condescending: "Yes, your check will be on its way to you after it's cut tonight."

Me: Death. I've just keeled over from frustration at this point.

[bridgit]

1. sounds sticky...i hate sticky...

x(

[Zomby Woof]

2. Holy FUCK

:argh:

I am so sorry Shakespeare! Please have one of these on me! :beer:

and a :hug:

[Shakespeare]

4. THANK you.

It took awhile, but I think Mr. Condescending finally realized I was ready to reach through the phone line and rip his nuts off with my bare hands.

What I REALLY wanted to tell him--hell, tell all of them--is that he makes it especially difficult for liberals like me when he lives up to the cliche of the incompetent government worker, because I actually defend assholes like him when repubs and libertarians start bitching about the government. (insert scream again)

[Zomby Woof]

5. Bureaucracy transcends ideology it seems

Unfortunately. :-(

Then again, I am of the mindset that incompetence is the NORM these days in both the government AND private sector. I have had plenty of circular idiocies occur to me with both, but nothing quite like you did today.

[Shakespeare]

6. Oh, and by the way....

:pals:

You can always be counted on for a kind and/or commiserative word, and it's much appreciated.

[Zomby Woof]

7. Anything for my L.A. bud

:pals:

[Blue-Jay]

3. I hate "business days".

So does Leopold.

:yoiks:

[Broken_Hero]

8. oh man

reminds me of my wife and I's attempt to get her mother on social security...we started the process in fall of 04, and the lawyer says she will probably start getting it at the end of next year...now, what kind of messed up crap is this?

They automatically turn you down the first time(it seems), and expect you to find a lawyer/fight it yourself...its madness. My mother in law has diabetes, and she cannot stand up for much longer than a few minutes, she cannot dress herself, she can walk about five minutes before her legs start aching...3 doctors have deemed her disabled, even the jackass doctor the SS people recommended!

Its madness, and demeaning...:(

[mad-mommy]

9. they train these people ...

to talk in circles, I swear it. A process such as this can not be that complicated.

[Shakespeare]

12. They must.

They also will NOT not skip over the parts you already know. I had to sit through the "it'll take 4-5 days for your check to reach you" and "first, you have to mail back your original signature on the affidavit" things so many times that *I* can recite the fucking script now.

Any time I tried to say "yes, yes, I know....that's not what I'm asking...I just want to know--" I'd get cut off every. single. time. and have to hear the whole freaking "process" again.

[LynzM]

10. Oh. My God. That SUCKS.

That's just... wow. :wow: Incredible. Absurd. A veritable comedy of absurdity, in fact, if you weren't counting on that money to live on. :grr:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I hope the check(s) show up in your mailbox, and soon.

[GOPBasher]

11. I'm sorry. :-( That sucks. n/t