GLBT DUers: If you have a lover in your life, what do you call him/her?

[bertha katzenengel]

Inspired by ALiberalSailor's mini-rant about the word "partner."

I call Mrs. V. my partner when speaking and my beloved in writing - in writing anything, LTTEs, blog entries, most posts here & elsewhere.

What word/s do you use? Wife? Husband? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? S.O.? Other half?

And if I may, along with that word, what depth of the relationship does it signify? Married in your hearts/commitment ceremony? Domestic partner registered/not registered? (say if it's legal in your state) Lifetime commitment without ceremony or document? Dating a long time? Just living together 'cause it's good?

Thanks.

[LadyoftheRabbits]

1. On edit

Realized I don't qualify :hi: anyway!!!

[TrogL]

2. Hey, you with the face!

[JackBeck]

3. I call my SO my husband.

We got married and have a marriage license, albeit one which was later invalidated by the State of California. But nonetheless, we got married. He's my husband.

[REP]

4. Slight Hijack: Why (Some) Straights Say Partner

In real life, with people I know, I use girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife or partner - whatever my friends use to describe their squeeze. With people I don't know well, I default to partner because it sounds more 'adult' and respectful than girlfriend/boyfriend (unless something like "hey, it's our third date!" is said, of course).

On line, I don't know/can't remember who's GBLT/female/male/straight, so everyone has a partner or SO.

Poll answer (not wanted, but so it's not a complete 'jacking): straight, use Loved One.

[begin_within]

5. Bitch

Kidding.

[RumpusCat]

6. I call mine my girlfriend to just about everyone

But we're young and have been dating for just under a year, no commitment ceremonies or living together. If we were to get more serious I'd have to think about it--would I call her my wife? Seems nice and homey, but a little fake unless we can actually get a marriage license. Partner? Maybe in a situation where I'm trying to explain our relationship to someone in a professional setting, like a doctor or a new business aquaintance, but it seems a bit dry for general use. Lover is nice but a bit off-putting to people who don't need that visual, lol. I have no idea! I definitely think that were we to be living together/partnered it'd be a bit juvenile to keep calling her my girlfriend.

I have a related GLBT question: can we be engaged? Fiance is gender-neutral but do GLBT people 'get' an engaged stage? When does it end? I've always wondered.

[terrya]

7. Boyfriend.

He's my boyfriend. Partner sounds too...cold and dispassionate to me.

You're never too old to have a boyfriend.

And it's a lifetime committment until we go through the ceremony.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

8. I'm straight, so my opinion might not count...

But I always get confused when someone introduces someone else as their "partner". (Also, I'm not just referring to gay couples -- I know some unmarried straight couples who use the term.)

I'm never quite sure whether that indicates a professional relationship or a romantic one. And I've been wrong (on both sides) before. It's led to some embarrassments when I thought someone was a person's lover, and it turned out they were just in business together. (And vice-versa.)

[bertha katzenengel]

9. Another question:

Do you think we need to create a word that will be specific to us that says clearly to the world, "this is who this woman/man is in my life" -- ??

[Deja Q]

10. If I had one: Boyfriend.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

11. I'm single, but I always referred to them as my girlfriend.

If we were living together, then I'd use partner. NJ also has domestic partnership with marriage in the courts currently.