do i tell my friend's girlfriend that he cheats on her like crazy?

[mark414]

one of my best friends, who i've known for 10 years but had our share of ups and downs in our friendship has been seeing what could very well be the world's sweetest girl for the last 2 years or so...

in the last few months, i still love the guy and all but he's lost any sense of decency and has been cheating left and right. i'm hesitant to do anything because me and him got into it pretty bad a few years back, over a girl (although in this case i'm not interested in his girlfriend), but nonetheless if i came out that i told his girlfriend he'd probably be pretty furious at me, which is pretty stupid but aside from all this he's one of the best friends i've ever had.

i'm talking to her right now for the first time in a couple of months (she lives in colorado, me in wisconsin) and she's talking about how she's a little unhappy and wants to leave but doesn't want to hurt him...and she has no idea...

what would you do? this is killing me right now, listening to this girl...

[Nicole]

1. No

Not unless you want to lose a friend.

He's cheating & she's already talking about leaving him. It sounds like that relationship is going to self-destruct without any help from you. Keep your mouth shut if you want to keep your friendship intact.

[enigmatic]

2. I wouldn't

But I'd stress to he that if she's truly unhappy, that the best thing for both of them is to end the relation for the sake of her and your friend. But as the other poster said, it sounds like it's ending anyway soon...

[WCGreen]

3. Egg her on to leave him without telling her that he is

cheating....

It's called Diplomacy....

And usually backfires so that they both will end up hating you...

Until a tearful reunion ten or fifteen years down the road brings you all together in a drunken love fest and then...

You'll never see either one of them again...

[barb162]

6. good advice I think

But even that could get the poster in trouble. Especially if they get married!

[Fleshdancer]

4. tell your friend to stop being an asshole

I recommend talking to him about it. Let him know that he's screwing up and if he can't appreciate what he has with his girlfriend, then he should have the decency to break up with her. Let him know that serial cheaters always get caught and he knows his girlfriend doesn't deserve to get hurt like that.

:shrug:

[LeftyMom]

5. Tell her.

If she's being cheated on, he's risking her health as well as her emotions. She needs to know so she can go get tested.

[RedCappedBandit]

7. I wouldn't want to be friends...

with somebody like that to begin with :( I think you should speak with him first.

[mark414]

8. ah shit, i told her

thanks for the advice everyone, BUT

1. i have talked to my friend about this previously, on a couple occasions - he expressed regret but then seemed to forget about it the next day

and then i kept talking to this girl who i can't stress enough is the sweetest person in the world and she told me about how they broke up for a couple months earlier this year and she real quick started seeing someone else, never even fucked the guy but told my friend about it and he flipped out on her, saying things like he didn't even want to be friends if she was going to be doing that

and then she told me that he had been talking about how he wanted to marry her and a million other things that make me want to smack the kid in the face even though i do still love him and if he hates me for this then oh well, that's his problem, he's the one in the wrong here - but we have gone through much worse and i think ultimately i did the right thing...i hope

[idgiehkt]

9. I was gonna say tell her

but I refrained because this is not my area of expertise...but with HIV and other stuff running around out there cheating can mean someone's life. I think you did the right thing. The only other way to do it would be go to him and say tell her or I will...

[mark414]

10. that probably would've been a little wiser,

talking to him first, but damn it was just killing me to listen to this girl say what she was saying - i felt like i was a suspect in a crime being interrogated for hours with the hot lights beating down on me until i finally broke down and confessed...ahhhhhhh

she's hurt like hell but i hope it's for the best, i really do