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I've come to the conclusion that my personal health is more important than being a political activist right now. I'm not well physically (diabetes and painful neck injury), and to be quite honest, I am emotionally unbalanced. I'm completely unable to function. This year I've done two things I promised myself I'd never do. One of them was a felony and I committed it before I even realized what was happening.
Defense attorney stands up and says, "Your Honor, may I submit that the defendant was under the influence of drugs in an attempt to kill herself and did not intend to drive a vehicle until she was so affected, she was incapable of making a rash decision."
Does it wash? I don't even know. I'm just so thankful no one was hurt and that the police decided not to arrest me. Most likely I'll never do it again because it has left such a mark on my soul.
I think I also made a rash decision and made an internet asshole so angry and unbalanced he is stalking other forums I frequent to get in personal jabs. The guy is a complete asswipe, but for some reason I feel that getting him back was the wrong thing to do. I tried it for the first time in my life because just letting people roll over me wasn't working. Apparently, this approach doesn't work, either. I just hope he doesn't come looking for me. I rather doubt he will because infuriating people on forum boards is a full-time job for him. He probably has a list of people he stalks because they dared to talk back.
Also, I feel like I'm not really fitting in here, probably because I'm locked into anecdotes. Pain really brings about the "it's all about me" syndrome. Perhaps this is natural. Maybe it's just selfish. I don't know anymore. Regardless, it seems like an inordinate number of my threads get locked.
So, what I want to say is that I get it now. The Republicans must go, but there isn't a lot I can do about it, personally. If I continue to burden myself with world issues as well as personal issues, I won't do anybody any good and will deprive the Dems of a vote. A vote is all I can give.
I apologize to the cosmos for anything I've done wrong and humbly ask the karmic equalizer to go pick on somebody else for awhile. Why not the Bushies, huh? Haven't they done much more harm than I have? Why not them for a change...?
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