Raptured DUers, check in here!

[MoonRiver]

I wannna know there's some friends up (or down, :D, as the case may be) there! :hi:

[hobbit709]

1. You sure it's not ruptured?

[Cobalt-60]

11. turn your head and cough!

[originalpckelly]

2. I saw this one chick fly out of her clothes when I went to let my dog out

but it turns out she was an escaped mental patient with an addiction to nudity and balloons. Who'da thunk?

(You may hear about this on the news.) ;-)

[helderheid]

14. Woah what a story!

[Tace]

3. I Got A Hemmoroid For The First Time Last Weekend...

does that count?

[kurth]

4. Wrong end. Wrong direction.

But maybe that's up in the GOP lexicon.

[MoonRiver]

6. Maybe yes, maybe no. I'll let you be the judge! :-) eom

[Bluzmann57]

5. Oops. Sorry. Ain't been raptured yet

Sorry to check in. I promise not to let it happen again. HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT LIGHT? Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! The end is here! Poof! wisp of smoke-gone. Bluzmann57 has left the building.
Oh wait, the light is sunshine on another beautiful day here along the Mississippi River. Darn. I didn't want to go to work tomorrow, now I guess I have to.

[bluerum]

7. Oooo,,, wooo whoaa hooooo,,,, yeeeehaaaa!

[valerief]

8. I'm still not quite RapSURE about the RapTURE. n/t

[bryant69]

9. Ha ha ha yeah there are a million jokes one can make

about the rapture.

And they aer all funny - because the idea of Christians really believing in the rapture is hilarious - it's like words with a "K" in them. Comic Gold.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[Hell Hath No Fury]

13. Yes, it actually is hilarious...

much like laughing at flat-earthers or folks who believe the moon missions were faked, or that earth is only a few thousand years old.

And I say this as a graduate of school that was named "Immaculate Conception". I didn't much believe that one, either.

[Der Blaue Engel]

20. Rapture, moon-babies, thetans, 72 virgins

...whatever makes ya giggle. The planet has plenty of material.

[warrens]

30. You seriously believe in this mumbo-jumbo?

Yup, only 144,000 are gonna make it. That was Jesus's message, wasn't it? Limited membership, join now before all the good spots are gone. Highest bid takes em away.

I doubt many real Christians would recognize that idolatry, selfishness, and pure ignorance as part of their religion.

Any more than people think the Bakkers were saints.

[tridim]

10. What's the URL for the Dobson-cam?

He needs to be monitored closely.

Also what's the URL for the hell-cam, since that's where they're all headed?

[Arugula Latte]

12. Up, Up and Awaaaaaaay in my beautiful, my beautiful Jebus-Vac!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! So long, Suckas! You shoulda listened to Falwell! Bwa ha ha! Byyyyyyye!

[Connie_Corleone]

15. It's HOT up here!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm burning up!

Hey! I think I got raptured to the wrong place!!

[Connie_Corleone]

16. It's so hot I posted twice! LOL!

[MoonRiver]

17. That's OK.

We know where to find you now.

[madinmaryland]

18. I reached the end of the internets.. Does that count?

http://www.weirdity.com/internet/eoti.html

[Cleita]

19. I haven't been raptured. No surprise here. However, I have to

go get some lab work done. I will be passing two of those big megachurches on my way. If I see any rapture going on I'll check back. :-)

[MoonRiver]

22. Thanks.

We need to know about any raptured "others". Also, find out what Raptureville neighborhoods they're moving to. I want to avoid those areas, if and when I get myself raptured.

[Cleita]

35. Well, I didn't see any naked people floating overhead

either on my way there nor when I returned. I guess God didn't get the memo.

[Buzz Clik]

21. All the mousepads in heaven have JC's picture on them.

I was hoping for St. Joan of Arc. Or Sponge Bob.

[MoonRiver]

23. Dullsville.

I was expecting so much more. :(

[shadowknows69]

24. I was minding my own business, pulling some tubes,

and watching a cheesy 80's sci-fi flick on my computer when the spirit of Timothy Leary appeared to me.

Tim said, "You've fallen far from the faith Shadow and I'm disappointed in you. It's been literally years since you last ingested a hallucinogen in my honor and you've made no recent attempt to see any of the remaining four members of the Grateful Dead in concert. Hell even Grace Slick's order of protection against you has run out because you haven't sent her a white rabbit lately. You really should have shipped those overnight mail you know. Bunnies tend to expire when you go UPS ground and it takes 4 days to get to California. Anywho Shadow I appeared to you today to let you know that the rapture is upon us. I and my followers have finally reached full enlightenment and we're about to ascend into heaven for that final big Woodstock in the sky, you should see the band they have put together. We want you with us Shadow as you've always been a valued member of my counterculture but a penance must be paid for you to join us."

"What can I do to atone oh holy father Leary", I said while casting myself on the floor in supplication.

"Nothing too hard Shadow my child", said my smiling master, his pupils dilated beyond what seemed reasonable.

"A little mischief is all. Take this small pill then meet up with Wavy Gravy at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington D.C. and you two are going to do a small favor for me. You're to get the Bush twins and Laura drunk, stoned and dosed. Put them in a circle of roses arranging their unconscious bodies into a peace sign and then say the words: 'Hell no we won't go, war is bad for children and other living things, tune in, turn on, drop out, and throw in a verse of a Dylan song for good measure and then the spirits of Abbie Hoffman and Hunter Thompson should rise from the grave. Basically they'll take it from there and you probably don't want to be around to see it, it won't be pretty so you and Wavy can jump back into his VW bus and meet me in Marin county for cocktails and the ascension to the big gig."

I eagerly devoured the small blue pill he handed me and set about my task.

[MoonRiver]

25. I think this Rapture story deserves its own thread!

:yourock:

[Generic Other]

26. Please come to my flash video party!

Rapture Party Death Trip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2yvYR4RFVs

[KansDem]

27. If we get raptured and miss work...

Do we count it as, 1) vacation day(s); 2) holiday/personal leave; or 3) sick leave.

:shrug:

[MoonRiver]

29. Hmmm, guess that depends.

So far DU Rapture stories are indicating choice #3.

[Jeroen]

28. I was raptured today but unfortunately I was still inside - ouch!

[Deja Q]

31. I haven't been raptured nor ruptured... but I'll check in anyway!

:wow:

[MiniMandaRuth]

32. I think they tried to rapture me.

[MoonRiver]

33. Help! I think I've been raptured

to the Lounge!! :nuke:

[Arugula Latte]

34. Yeah, this thread got sucked over here by the all-powerful Mod.

So ... This must be Heaven! O8)

[MoonRiver]

36. (DU) Mod = God?

Oh, please, please! :D

[rug]

37. It's true. All the chickens here are coated in corn flakes.

[MoonRiver]

38. Kentucky fried or popeyed? :0)